WillySteed*ChristineMarie*KolleneSnow*AudienceMember*EdKociela AuthorPlygsAnswersQuestions *JewelryAtGuilt* DickJaneFlipbook*Spoilers*Tweets*RebeccaMusser*My5WivesGreat Stories*BuyTeamKolleenTshirtTodayDon'tMissOut!!!Review!!

Monday, August 15, 2011

THE LOST BOYS OF POLYGAMY

We're trying something new. We are combining posts of similar genre to make it easier to find for the new viewer. Let us know what you think. Older posts will always be on the bottom.

The Forgotten Victims of Polygamy  
"A different take on the Lost Boys; what if polygamy were legalized, what would happen to them?"

Doesn't their expressions just break your heart when you realize there are hundreds more? 


Lost Boys:  A Math Lesson

It is simple math.  With a normal male to female ratio of 1:1, in communities and societies where some men have more than 1 wife, others will have none.  

Lost boys have been pressured to leave, or excommunicated from, polygamous groups such as the FLDS, often for made up offenses such as watching TV or movies or talking to a girl.  The real reason they are banished is to remove competition for wives.  These Lost Boys are usually removed from the community during their vulnerable teen years.  They leave with little education or life skills, no money and only the clothes on their back, and very little knowledge of the outside world, which they have been taught to fear.  Their families have been told to shun them and they are left to fend for themselves.  They live in abandoned cars or behind dumpsters.  Many turn to drugs and/or crime to cope.  They have a high suicide rate.

Dan Fischer, a dentist and former FLDS member, has begun a foundation to help Lost Boys.

These Lost Boys have taught us that it is simple math.  In communities and societies where some men have more than one wife, there will be a shortage of marriageable women.  

If polygamy is legalized, what would happen in a society with an excess of marriage-minded men and a shortage of marriageable women?

We might find the answer in China.  Due to Chinese traditions, a tough one-child-per couple policy, and modern medical technology, there is a growing demographic imbalance.  In 2000, there were almost 117 boys born for every 100 girls and this ratio is increasing.  Over the next 20 years almost 40 million young Chinese men won’t be able to marry and have families because there won’t be enough wives to go around, similar to polygamous communities.

Researchers say growing numbers of lonely men will pose a threat to social order.  They say research shows that a lack of sexual affection results in an increase in violence.  Researchers are finding that Chinese women can now be pickier about who they marry:  healthier and, most importantly, wealthier.  So the young men move away to find better jobs.  The researchers say aggressive behavior is becoming more common among young men grouped together, away from women and far from home.  Crime is rising, including black markets for baby girls and abducted women, and an increase in trafficking of girls (sound familiar from the Warren Jeffs case).  Similar situations exist in parts of India and Pakistan.


Authorities have few options.  They can impose authoritarian rule; send the men off to war;  provide them with jobs on public works projects (if they have the money to create such projects) or provide them with security forces jobs.  Would that work in the U.S.?  Probably not.  But it is simple math, in communities and societies where some men have more than 1 wife, others will have none.  


Still think legalized polygamy is harmless if it could lead to consequences like this?
Discussion and comments below!

Written by Terrasola 

__________________________________________________________________

Story #1 July 2011
"Polygamy ?? Natural Ratio of Men to Women Shortage AUB Summit" 

This is a terrible tape, be forewarned. I found it fascinating that there are all these clips of the AUB Summit, (we've shown a couple) and when they get on the ONE topic I am interested in, the sound goes bad...... hence.... no answers. In my feeble mind, if Anne Wilde and others wanted this addressed, it would be presented very clear and precise. 

My transcription, minus all the quotes, starting at abt. 1:08

To begin with, there’s the perception that we have 92 wives and 500 kids. Which is absolutely not true. We did a survey not too long ago and the aver. # of plural wives is just 2 or 3. There are some that are larger, but that’s not the case, generally speaking. Another thing, when you consider a Fundamentalist Mormon that is somebody who believes ……. OF COURSE, it tears up! NO ANSWERS!!!!! All the cameramen are shown, but there are no other clips from the same Summit on you tube.
Nice. Real nice. (Saying in disgust like Christine found out about the wedding dress.)
Can anyone answer the question, what happens to the "Extra" boys, and what does the AUB say about it? Not, FLDS or others, I'm interested in what the AUB has to say about it.

62 comments:

  1. Certain sects get rid of the excess males by :

    1) asking the young men to leave because they are "unworthy" to remain in the sect and they must repent from afar.(FLDS does this, FLDS owns all the homes of sect members thru the UEP trust, and they have at times ejected families from their homes using police officers who are FLDS members to perform the evictions)

    2) driving the young men out of town to do a construction job and dropping the young men off outside of town and asking them not to return. (FLDS does this)

    3) telling young men that they are unworthy to receive a wife and the young man must continue to tithe and work for the sect until they are deemed to be "worthy" to receive a spouse. (FLDS does this)

    According to LeMoine Jensen, head of the AUB, 65% of young people raised in the AUB leave - many are young men who cannot find a mate in the sect. Troy Bowles of the child protection project is one such man who left the AUB under those circumstances.

    A Mormon fundamentalist believes that he cannot reach the highest level of heaven, known as the Celestial Kingdom, unless he has at least three wives. A woman cannot be a goddess in the Celestial Kingdom unless she is a plural wife. The polygamist math does not work.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I just have to say that I used to think that this blog was a fun thing to read and that even though some things were rude it was good to hear other sides. All it is now is just a place for people to bash Sister Wives and anything to do with them. I really used to enjoy it, it was almost like a guilty pleasure. Now its just lame and all you have to say is bad things. I'm really disappointed.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I spoke with a male ex - AUB member regarding the issue of excess males. His comment was that some AUB members who wanted to obtain a wife (or wives) and had difficulty doing so attended the mainstream LDS singles dances. There are divorced females there who are seeking to re-marry to obtain a new "priesthood holder." Unfortunately some of the AUB men who attend these singles dances are not immediately forthcoming regarding their desire to have these divorced women become their plural wives. The official position of the AUB hierarchy is that these men should be honest regarding their interest in recruiting women to polygamy and their sect.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Who was it on SNL that used to say... how conveeenient?

    ReplyDelete
  5. I looked, and I couldn't find another clip of it online, either. Anyone?

    ReplyDelete
  6. "Hannah said... I just have to say that I used to think that this blog was a fun thing to read and that even though some things were rude it was good to hear other sides. All it is now is just a place for people to bash Sister Wives and anything to do with them. I really used to enjoy it, it was almost like a guilty pleasure. Now its just lame and all you have to say is bad things. I'm really disappointed."

    Hannah, I hate you feel that way, but it you look that the posts themselves, many are for fun (like the 7 wives or what would you do?) or from the news. If you feel differently than the commenters, then please comment and show us your point of view! That's the whole reason for this blog. Say what you think! Give us some comments, I'm sure we'll like reading them, and it might give us a different view.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I find this blog extremely informative and interesting. Sure, polygamy isn't all fun and games, like TLC would like us to believe. This post is a great example of the truth..."Hey what happens to the rest of the young men?" the truth that polygamists don't want to talk about, even likable polygamists like the Browns. Our sex ratio is 50/50, so clearly polygamy makes no sense from a natural law perspective, upon which our moral laws are derived. Good post MSB.

    ReplyDelete
  8. That is very sad, there isn't one way they can say thi is what god wanted. Hemay of wanted the earth populated, but geez, that was what, 3000 years ago?

    ReplyDelete
  9. The problem is that these groups place tremendous pressure on their children to conform. What I means is that its not natural to have a gender inequality where there are 2 plus females for every male. The only solution is to basically kick out male children, typically any other than the first born. Even more pathetic is that they blame the kids, usually for made up slights against the parental units, sending them out to society with little or no education or life skills, for the rest of society to care for. The so called “Sons of Perdition” are abandoned intentionally with the sick effect of feeling that they themselves are the cause of it for some sin.

    Even more irritating to me is that these polygamist families are usually committing extensive welfare fraud. We all hear about the inner cities where supposed welfare queens are breeding kids for cash when rural communities of Utah that exist solely on committing that very act. But hey…they are nice white jesus freaks so its okay….

    ReplyDelete
  10. Does Anne Wilde have to be included in EVERYTHING? She make me ill.
    She actually does so much more harm than good. they need a new "face" for their product.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank you Hannah! I was just thinking the same thing before I got to your comment. I like my trashy reality TV and my main motivation for visiting this blog is to listen to everyone bash on Robin! Maybe there could be a seperate blog for the serious stuff? Or just hand the blog over to Flora so he/she can tell it to someone who cares. Thanks anyway Mister Sister, et al. It was fun for a while there but I am finally beginning to realize why the "other" blogs are moderated. This is getting out of control.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Not Fond -
    If you are interested in bashing Robyn, maybe you should start your own blog ? Just a suggestion. Too bad intellectual comments offend you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. retarded realityJuly 20, 2011 at 7:31 PM

    Reality-
    I don't think anyone ever said they were offended. Nor did they say any of the comments here were 'intellectual' for that matter. Get over yourself. It is freaking Sister Wives- not a forum for great minds to share their infinite wisdom. It is a shame you are not the scholar you fancy yourself to be, or you might appreciate the hilarious irony of your own words.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Feel free to avert your eyes, retard.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Out of control with the truth? Out of control with NOT putting information we have first hand on the Browns up,that we feel is too intimate?
    We are neither for or against. BUT, we are for the truth. We have protected the Browns more than you know! How is telling the TRUTH about a religion bashing? I never see you comment on ehre making funny snarky comments about Robyn, and you are free to do so, Why is that? WRITE one, and I'll put it up!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I just woke up from a toothace and now I'm mad. The Browns dare bringing in religion with a lawsuit, americans have a right to know what that will do to America, not from the AUB, per say, but from many other cultures !

    ReplyDelete
  17. Friend of Mr. SisterJuly 21, 2011 at 8:13 AM

    I didn't see this complaining poster make any comments about Robyn anywhere. I am a friend of Mr. Sister and if anything, MR. Sister has not posted information because she feels sorry for Robyn due to Robyn's past abusive marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Yes, let's see a post written by NotFond about Robyn ! I can't wait !

    ReplyDelete
  19. Geez, I love them to death, but you do raise many questions about their religion. I can tell you this. They love all their boys with all their hearts, and in THIS family, no son will be ran off, left behind, etc. If they change religions, they will be at every function and welcome home with open arms.
    I believe that with all my heart. It's a shame a few bad apples spoil the cart. Christians can be no better, as far as treating their children like trash if they don't obey.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Christians don't need a minimum of three wives each, so it is unnecessary to run young men out of town to eliminate the competition.

    ReplyDelete
  21. To ALL: Friend of Flora is not only vastly knowledgeable on the subject, in an insider in many ways, is more educated and intelligent than I can explain.
    Please know, she ALWAYS knows what she is talking about. She is FOR THE WOMEN. Trust her knowledge is impeccably thought through and all based on facts and years of investigation and research. Without her, we would know nothing.
    DO NOT put down Friend of Flora, my one rule here, or you will be BANNED.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Obviously, the Polygamists don't care about the men, oh, unless it is THEM.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Isn't the Ratio basically 1:1. I can't imagine being a mother and wondering, will my son make it? What happens if the Priestholders don't like him. I would worry more if I were them about if God was pleased with their son. they are under false disciples.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Read this on another site. Felt it useful here. About the lost boys
    Just one example “: His stated offenses: wearing short-sleeved shirts, listening to CDs and having a girlfriend. Other boys say they were booted out for going to movies, watching television and staying out past curfew. Some say they were sometimes given as little as two hours’ notice before being driven to St. George or nearby Hurricane, Utah, and left like unwanted pets along the road. ”

    ReplyDelete
  25. Yes, that is what happens to younger male competition in fundamentalist communities. Kicked to the curb for imaginary offenses.
    It's not glamorous and TLC will never have a program on it.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I don't think that Dayton will ever have 3 wives. Wonder how he will feel about that growing up ?

    ReplyDelete
  27. If my name was Jessop, Allred, or someone important, and I was low on the totem pole, I would fear for my boys. I thought when we all got to heaven we were the same. These poor poor boys.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Okay, so I owe an apology to MS. I went a little overboard yesterday with the mean comments. The actual posts are okay, most of them (I still dont like the 7 wives one) but all the comments are awful. You say that everyone can write what they think as long as they aren't getting to out of hand but a lot like to write super mean things and thats what I understood to not be allowed. I guess I'm just confused.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Thank you Hannah. here's the thing, write want you feel, we haven't seen any posts from you, other than when you were mad. Write some positive ones, if that's how you feel. We'd love to hear them

    ReplyDelete
  30. I would like o see an AUB report on the Boys, and why they don't care if they leave. Do they get to see their families?

    ReplyDelete
  31. AUB doesn't push their boys out the door. Many leave of their own accord. There are quite a few converts from the LDS church join, which enlarges the gene pool, and yes some guys definitely convert women from the outside, especially LDS girls. Also, in one AUB community I know that there was some concern because quite a few young men who were sons of prominent fathers, were dragging their feet about going into polygamy, and were being pressured. Can't say that it was the same in all AUB communities.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Oh, and Ripryandunn, one exception to what I said above, is if you are living in a "United Order" which is a specific geographic community of AUB members. In that case you need permission to live there, and if you have older children (18 or over) who are doing things the leaders don't like, such as smoking cigarettes, these leaders can tell the parents to ask the children to leave. (This can be girls or boys.) So, if the children are "rebellious" there is a relief when they go. Yes, they can keep contact and visit (unlike the FLDS). Still horrible that parents don't have autonomy over who is allowed to live in their home, but then again, the homes aren't actually theirs (even if they build them). Everything belongs to the "Order."

    ReplyDelete
  33. FreeAndClear,
    I'm sure you said that clearly, but I still don't quite understand. Can you tell us more?

    ReplyDelete
  34. "Fun to just bash on Robyn all the time"...well wouldn't exposing the truth behind the lies be the best way?

    I guess it might be fun to have a humorous rant on resident village dumpling , sister wife 4 in number only and Kody's fave babe that includes her innocent shortcomings!


    What would be great is a parody that include's clips and quips of "it's Butters!" from South Park. "It's Robyn..."

    Parody songs from TV sitcoms would be a hoot, too!

    All in good fun because I really do think Robyn has her good and bad, like anyone else.



    To the Addams Family Theme:


    She's skinny and she's moody
    Altogether good looking
    Kody's fourth wife , in number only, Robyn

    She's plays a good victim
    Using pepper in her kitchen
    When Kody comes to see her
    Tears of joy always fill her

    She's not neat

    She "keeps sweet"

    She's skinny

    She's got her magic garments on
    Kody's Harley to ride on
    We're going to pay a blog on
    Kody's fourth wife, in number only, Robyn...

    ReplyDelete
  35. OMG, that's hysterical!!! Except, I don't think she's pretty. I rally don't.

    ReplyDelete
  36. GREAT Story, Terrasola. Maybe they could make a camp for them? Bet you won't hear the browns talking about them on TV

    ReplyDelete
  37. Authorities DO have options. STOP POLYGAMY. They are letting it happen. STOP IT, or provide homes for these boys. Nice Article, Anony- great song!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Anonymous said...

    "Fun to just bash on Robyn all the time"...well wouldn't exposing the truth behind the lies be the best way?

    I guess it might be fun to have a humorous rant on resident village dumpling , sister wife 4 in number only and Kody's fave babe that includes her innocent shortcomings!


    What would be great is a parody that include's clips and quips of "it's Butters!" from South Park. "It's Robyn..."

    Parody songs from TV sitcoms would be a hoot, too!

    All in good fun because I really do think Robyn has her good and bad, like anyone else.



    To the Addams Family Theme:


    She's skinny and she's moody
    Altogether good looking
    Kody's fourth wife , in number only, Robyn

    She's plays a good victim
    Using pepper in her kitchen
    When Kody comes to see her
    Tears of joy always fill her

    She's not neat

    She "keeps sweet"

    She's skinny

    She's got her magic garments on
    Kody's Harley to ride on
    We're going to pay a blog on
    Kody's fourth wife, in number only, Robyn...
    OK, somebody's gotten into the Red wine tonight! heheheheh Who are you????
    ________________
    On a serious note, shouldn't we march or something, it is the Govt's fault- they let this go on. They know all about it. WHAT CAN WE DO?

    ReplyDelete
  39. I want to hear what the AUB has to say about it. the Brown clan. not, oh some leave crap. The real answers. Thanks for bringing this back up, it's an important issue.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Hi World! I've finally got time to put my thoughts in! Terrasola hits on some great topics, doesn't she? her, Pretty and Pink, and Cynical jinx keeps us going. I'm more the Sister Wives gal thing.
    I am VERY interested in what the AUB does. not, oh, some leave, or Some choose not to, etc. I WANT TO KNOW what HAPPEN NOW. FreeAnd Clear, or anyone else, know?
    ThanksT

    ReplyDelete
  41. Once again, I have to come back and comment more.
    I also blame the moms.
    There is no way in HELL I would let one of my sons go out into the world, alone, at 14. I'd have to leave with him. How do these mothers sleep at night? it's ok for son to go out, but they are too afraid? Sickening.

    ReplyDelete
  42. "She's skinny and she's moody
    She's thinks she's all hot and goody goody
    Kody's fourth wife , in number only, Robyn


    hehehehehheeheh

    ReplyDelete
  43. Seriously,
    I could take very one of those boys home with me.
    I agree, what is wrong with the mothers? And there's another DEPRESSION kicker, the moms, the siblings, etc. They just get used to the numbness and lies. that's no religion. That's hell

    ReplyDelete
  44. Polygamy is not harmless unless there was a reversal- say for every 100 boys, there were 300 women, therefore, a need/
    In any other circumstance, it is a life long self esteem bust for any child No wonder they turn to drugs.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Part 2 of the man with 80 wives touches on this.

    ReplyDelete
  46. If Polygamy was legalized, this is an area that would HAVE TO be looked into, prepared for, and footed by the American tax payers. We put up with illegal welfare fraud, why not do something LEGAL and set up a YMCA style home for the boys.
    The more I learn, the more ridiculous this whole polygamous lifestyle is. What burns my tail is that several states, Utah, Texas, Colorado, just let it go, just like they let Kody go. Many of the state officials live the lifestyle, so who's going to enforce it? When you have the _________ the man that said he wouldn't prosecute Kody, let him get by with it on TV, you know they are not going to do a damn thing about it ever.
    And these poor boys. If I lived in that area, I would put them up myself.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Ahhhh. kids on the bus, coffee in hand, haven't been here forever, going to take some time and enjoy!
    Legalizing Polygamy - well, didn't hear a word mentioned about the boys...what boys.... according to Kodster, why, they just decide not to go into the faith. What a crock. I agree Terrasola, this needs to be brought out into the light. People don't know these kinds of things, they only see it as FLDS.
    Probably what would happen is nothing.
    Govt isn't going to LOOK for problems. As long as it's not being pushed in their face.
    How about helping the org. that does help these boys? We should, as a group, from this blog, send them a check, however small, just to say, we care.

    ReplyDelete
  48. There isn't any lost boys. there are boys that get excommunicated for being bad, breaking the rules. If they are good, they get to stay.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Ester Ruth - What exactly is "being good?" And what is the point? They can't get married because all the women (girls - gross) are taken by the old men.

    ReplyDelete
  50. http://cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/us/2011/08/12/drew.flds.lost.boys.hln.html

    Flore on CNN Interview discussing Lost Boys , Rape, Impact of Lost Boys on Communities.

    Has anyone seen Sons of Perdition?

    ReplyDelete
  51. I certainly never knew until I started watching the show, which brought me to reading here, that things like this happened in "Robyn's America"-
    so sad, so tragic. Isn't life hard enough?
    I agree, we should send a little fund to Dan Fischer from the Sister Wives club after the show ends for the season.

    ReplyDelete
  52. I love this blog. I have a suggestion though and I don't mean to offend. Maybe there could be two categories - like header links. One could be for the Sister Wives - all the great postings and snark that go along with that. The other could be for the more serious subject matter - such as the historical info, the Jeffs trial, the 80 wives guy, etc.

    I read both - and all the articles are great - I feel like I have had a crash course in polygamy. Here in PA, we just have the Amish and I assure you they would never have any of this nonsense. Plus some terrific giggle sessions regarding the Browns and Sister Wives show.

    It just might be easier to read and comment. Of course, whatever you do, I'm still reading here.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Anne - I agree. It started out as a Sister Wives Snark only- but then we learned about polygamy and I guess we were all shocked.
    The blog is pre set up the way it is, if I figure out a way, I will do just that!
    Thank you for your patience - and the shows coming soon!!
    I lived by Amish, too. I have to admit, they have a lot of very good ways.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Anonymous said..."Fun to just bash on Robyn all the time"...well wouldn't exposing the truth behind the lies be the best way?
    "Beverly Hillibillies"

    Come 'n listen to my story 'bout a girl named Rob
    A poor Mormoneer, likes her VS bras all red,

    And then one day, she was in the flirtin mood
    And round the room came a droolin fool,
    Kodauche, white trash, Montana Moose.

    Well, the first thing you know, old Rob's got a show, a millionaire
    Kin folk said, Rob, PLEASE move away from there
    Said, Las Vegie is the place you oughta be
    So they loaded up the truck and they moved to
    Las Vegie

    Nevada that is, swimmin' pools, real houses, no trailers no wheres!

    Well, now it's time to say goodbye to Rob and all her beauty
    she'd like to thank you for kindly checking out her hootie,

    You're all invited back again to this locality
    To have a heapin' helpin' of her pushing out a babee

    Robyn's beauty, sit a spell, ponder at the wonder,
    Y'all come back now, hear? Just don't bring her any beer.

    Ahh, not as good, but I tried!

    ReplyDelete
  55. Esther Ruth, do you really believe that? honey, open your eyes. Don't you have brothers, friends, you love that you've seen disappear?

    ReplyDelete
  56. I cannot wrap my head around parents who are so disconnected to their children that they will allow their young girls to marry old men and their boys to be driven off, penniless and unable to support themselves.

    These are things I don't see any of the Brown parents supporting for any of their children.

    ReplyDelete
  57. No, I don't either.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Nysha - none of us can

    ReplyDelete
  59. Well, here's an easy one.
    IF the politicians and the police used the LAWS in place to prevent such a thing, there would be no problem. Read today's article on Polygamy and the law, we wouldn't have this problem if LAW enforcement WOULD DO THEIR JOB. THE LAWS ARE THERE. Funny, put there to prevent oppression. $$$$ must change hands, or they should be arresting these people.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Funny, the Government takes no responsibility, they created it by not and by continuing not to uphold the law. Congress should put out a hotline for these boys, and charge the state they came from.

    ReplyDelete