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Sunday, August 7, 2011

"Sister Wives" and "The Lifestyle"

Telling is the fact that Kody Brown has been carefully coached to call polygamy “the lifestyle” rather than “the principle,” the latter being the economic phrase commonly used by fundamentalist Mormons to describe both the practice of polygamy and its theological underpinnings. All throughout Sister Wives it’s “the lifestyle,” “lifestyle,” “ our lifestyle”: only once does Brown slip and call it “the principle.”

If they continually called it “the principle” that would lead into the entire reason for polygamy, “The Principle, or Celestial marriage (also called the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage, Eternal Marriage or Temple Marriage) which is exactly what they don’t want to do. They want you to think polygamy is a “lifestyle” choice, not a required part of their AUB church, the center of the hub of existence for the Mormon Church. The LDS denounce it; what they DON’T tell you is that they believe in this principle, also, but since it is outlawed, they conveniently changed their rules to when they die.

They want you to think it’s a choice. Then you can watch the show, be happy, and think, well, if they are happy, who’s it hurting? Well, if you are not a Mormon, and you learn all the facts about Celestial Marriage, chances are you will see how it DOES hurt the women and children.

As has been stated by many posts, in Fundamental Mormonism, a woman MUST be married or sealed to a man to get to their heaven, which is a PLANET. On that planet, the man is exalted to the God like being. (I shudder when I say that) If her husband doesn’t all her name, they’ll be no heaven for her, um I mean Planet. Husband taking you to heaven, this is what they don’t want you to think about. And much more - that's why we are looking into the religion.

"Lifestyle" fooled me for a time. Until I decided to look up about the Mormon religion, and about the same time, met up with a great person who has so much knowledge it is amazing. 

Tell us what you think. Is it harmless? Harmless to the kids? Do you think it’s just fine, or do you pray someday, the Browns and the children will get out of this religion.  Were you fooled in the beginning that the "lifestyle" meant their was a choice?      


  1. Hmm.....thats a hard one. Being a woman, I would say yes, it is harmful. But as in any religion, most have the woman being submissive to her husband.

    Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought that devout LDS members are also sealed in marriage and the husband calls his wife by her secret name to pull her into heaven. If they divorce, the woman has to be unsealed from her husband and then has counsel with a leader of one of the Temples. They, men and women, also wear the sacred undergarments under their clothes. I think most LDSers forgo the sacred undergarments now compared to 20 or more years ago.

    The only difference that I know of between the LDS members and the Fundies is the plural marriage issue.

  2. We need help on this one Rayne, I think there's some deal where in "the planet" LDS'ers will be in plural marriages.
    I do feel he was prompted to say lifestyle, like there was a choice.
    Sadly, there is no choice to stay in the sect.

  3. I get exactly what's being said.

    It was like using a politician's termonology.

    Except, sooner or later, what is eventaully going to come out is the wacky religion.
    So why not just put it out there to begin with.

    Lies, lies, lies.
    Christine wants to tell the truth, only when it's convenient. She's a smooth talker, that one.

    So why the "secrecy" I ponder. They are far to adapted to secrets and lies if you ask me. That is not christian. We all do it, we can ask forgiveness. But who do they ask, Joe?

    Lifestyle just bid them some time. Should of been upfront and open like Christine said. Can't have it both ways.

    That's what always bothered me about Scientology. The secrets. Then I read Tom Cruise's biography, and it was the creepiest thing I ever could imagine.

    And to think, these people can't see through false prophets. It's in the upbringing. We believe, in general, what we are taught when we are little.
    SO, I guess it does harm the children, eh?

  4. What is funny to me is that wife swappers (swingers)call what they do "The Lifestyle".

  5. HEEEHEEE they do, don't they, same thing, in a sense.

  6. Instead of The Musters, they could of called it "The Culsters"

  7. Just found your blog today. I was on another website trying to explain my issues with these people and came across this which mirrors my thoughts exactly. I don't care how they appear happy and normal. There's a reason WHY they are living this "lifestyle" that they refuse to discuss. Why? Because then they would be a lot less normal and likeable.

    When religion dictates your actions in order to get to the best and highest heaven, your acquiescence to that is not akin to "choice" but is rather a coercive con job. There's nothing normal about joining a group of women being breeders for your husband's planet.

    1. You said it! I was trying to comment and erased my whole post somehow but my thoughts mirrored yours.

      It ain't no "choice" when you're indoctrinated to believe you can only get to heaven by letting the guy sleep around, bear as many children as you can and treat him as the "priesthood" head, all so you can increase the population of the planet he will rule over as God. I shudder to think of growing up with that being what my family life consisted of. How do the children deal with their mothers as brood mares for Daddy's planet? At least these kids are in public school so they get some exposure outside their family but they still seem pretty enveloped by them and their extended family is all pretty much involved in the same behavior, mostly with each other it seems, so what the heck is their idea of normal? Fortunately, some of them seem pretty clued into what a loser their father is and I don't doubt they know how miserable their mothers can be especially when a new wifey shows up so hopefully these kids create a better destiny for themselves.

      I find most religion bizarre and degrading to women probably because MEN made them up but for this country these guys are pretty weird. The only others I see comparable are the Patriarchal movement people and Quiverfull where women are under the headship of their daddy and then husband and you don't get much education and your value if based on pregnancies and your husband was likely picked by Daddy and there was no dating, just courtship. Our country's "religious freedom" sometimes seems an invitation for testing the limits of what can pass for "religion".

  8. Funny, this blog started just to have fun with the show. then I looked up the religion, talked to some people, and WHEW, yes, it does make a BIG difference. It's CRAZY what they believe, and why they are doing it.

  9. I think the term "Lifestyle" comes from Anne's site for suggested terminology.

    Appropriate Terminology

    Fundamentalist Mormon group or community instead of the more offensive “clan”

    Neighborhood; enclosed community instead of “compound”

    Residents of Hildale/Colorado City (formerly Short Creek) instead of “Creekers”

    “Culture” instead of the highly offensive term “cult”

    “Left the polygamous lifestyle” or “escaped an abusive situation” instead of “escaped from polygamy”

    Davis County co-op instead of “Kingston clan”
    Fundamentalist Mormons or Fundamentalist groups instead of “polygamist groups”

    Plural marriage (used more frequently within the culture) instead of polygamy (considered derogatory by some)

    Residents of Centennial Park instead of “Second Ward(ers)”

    Plural wife instead of “spiritual wife”

    Highly offensive expressions to avoid:

    Destructive of the human rights of women

    Inequality and exploitation of women


    Polygamy breeds child abuse

    Sexual exploitation


    Subjugation of women

    Compiled by Anne Wilde
    Principle Voices, 2005

  10. I think this is awesome, telling quip from a Canadian Author that totally mimics the same thoughts! They want us to see it as harmful that it is about their normal lives and just wanting religious freedom but time and time again, FLDS polygamy proves it is dangerously harmful. There are more detrimental, criminal, damaging evidence and stories than there are happy, normal stories. I tend to trust non patriarchal, non religious polyamory far more!


    "...The reality show “Sister-wives” and the fictitious series “Big Love” have been aired on television and are hugely successful. They prove that the topic intrigues many. Of course, in both programs, the sister-wives happily bond with each other, don’t mind sharing their husband, have a say in running the “family business”, can make independent decisions and so on.

    The whole polygamous set-up is portrayed as a desirable life-style and they indirectly or directly ask for our tolerance. After all, it’s a matter of religious freedom!"

  11. Funny, this blog started just to have fun with the show. then I looked up the religion, talked to some people, and WHEW, yes, it does make a BIG difference. It's CRAZY what they believe, and why they are doing it.

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  12. I know. I sure didn't mean for it to turn about religion, but one you know, how can you not? It's THE reason they are in polygamy, and the religion, well, is scary!

  13. Every religion has a range of believers where some are liberal, some are moderate, some are conservative and some are extremists. I don't see this as any different. It seems like some of you are trying to condemn the Browns based on the bad acts of other polygamists. There are plenty of Christians who have used their fanatical religious beliefs to abuse others; look at that Baptist preacher who picketed Mathew Shepherd's funeral? Or how the Catholic Church mishandled the large number of priests who were molesting children? Not all priests molest children. Even fanaticism outside of "religion" can be harmful, such as people believing they can survive on "air" or by staring at the sun and not eat food or drink water, and they fast themselves to death trying, or that one cult that believed they were going to be lifted off the planet by aliens so they all left video-taped farewell messages and committed suicide? Come on, Kody Brown and his family is on one end of the spectrum. I think he's dorky and I don't see the appeal. I don't care what their religious beliefs are. We don't really know waht their religious beliefs are either even though there's a lot of claims here that they believe certain things based on comments people are posting. I'm not convinced. I've read interviews from them that they have gay friends and support gay rights. Some Mormons do support gay marriage, even though the LDS Church has fought against gay marriage. So, are those Mormons lying or what? No, it just means that there are differing views even when the main church takes a position. The Catholic Church disavows birth control and yet many Catholics use birth control contrary to church teachings. anyway, just my two cents.

  14. Yes, I agree with some of that. We are learning about the religion, and like you said, it takes all kinds. BUT, there are some basics that they HAVE to believe. I don't think most are condemning them, just shocked. In fact, I feel ms gets blamed for many of our comments, and they put both the good and bad out there.

  15. So very true, they did cover this up, didn't they?

  16. Generally I don’t learn post on blogs, but I would like to say that this write-up very compelled me to check out and do it ! Your writing style has been surprised me. Thanks, very nice post.
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  17. I wouldn't have a problem with their multiple marriages IF, I, as a taxpayer doesn't have to pay for their decision. I am so disappointed, that I have to. They only people dif between these people and the typical poly compound people is they don't sell daughters off to be married to other people. I, for one, don't give on whit about people and their marriages,, BUT I do disagreed if the rest of the country has to support the husbands, wifes, and children.

    My own grandfather had 18 children with his first and only wife, BUT he supported each and every one.

  18. If these people really need all those kids to raise, why not adopt some, there are millions of kids you could adopt,, milions of kids in foster care. YOu need a kid to love, adopt one,, you need a kid to prove yourself to God, well, you would be able to support them, ON YOUR OWN.