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Friday, August 19, 2011

Polygamist Sex Freak Masturbates 15 Times a Day in Jail (Updated with Video)

How is polygamist leader and convicted rapist Warren Jeffs dealing the knowledge that he will spend the rest of his life in jail, never again to feel the sweet caress of his harem of child brides? With constant exhibitionist masturbation, according to an intrepid report from The Daily:

    According to one of his former jailers, the convicted child rapist masturbated more or less continuously while in custody. Rick Bradley, a guard at the county jail where Jeffs was kept in the weeks prior to his trial, told The Daily that the 55-year-old seemed to be suffering from sexual withdrawal and pleasured himself "a lot." What does that mean, exactly—five times a day? More, Bradley said.

    Fifteen times? "Sometimes more than that," he told The Daily.

    The guard said that the prisoner—who was not permitted conjugal visits—often played solo in full view of his guards. "We could see him," Bradley said.

I don't know who's more likely to go blind from this, Jeffs or the guards. That said, should this guard really be tracking prisoners' masturbation habits and leaking it to the press? And of all press to leak it to, The Daily? Does he have any idea how great New York City newsstands would be today, if he'd gone to the Daily News and the Post? 

[The Daily, image via AP]


  1. he's a SUPER FREAK SUPER FREAK, he's SUPER FREAKY NOW....... Rick James dang I wish we could put music on a comment!

  2. The video is funny! Isn't it funny, that the three guys in the pic, he's the last one you'd want!

  3. Good Gosh - what a higher power he is. Is there any way to see, or any study, that shows that sex addiction can be environmentally learned? seems to be a theme.

  4. Just for fun maybe the prison guards should cuff his hands behind his back.

  5. Oh Anne, that's a good one~ Really, what is wrong with these people? I loved the video, too funny!

  6. Let's play a game:
    Make a new phrase for Jeff's goings on:

    "Crowning the King"

  7. oh, I'm awful, I wonder if he's just gonna "let it soak" in jail bwaaaaaaa

  8. Okay, Drita -

    Polishing the Prophet
    Choking the Dickens Out
    Keeping the Faith
    Flocking the Sheep
    Playing the Instrument of Salvation
    Punching His Ticket to Heaven
    Orbiting His Planet

  9. OMGosh, you two are tooo funny!

    Let me see.
    Snowflake, I am still laughing out loud!!!

    Oinking the Organ
    Beating the Bishop
    Rockin' the Rocket
    Sacrificing the Garment
    Crankin the Covenant
    Tappin Texas!

  10. Pat the Robertson
    Killing the Beast
    Knocking to Kolob

  11. Pat the Robertson? OMG - Now THAT is classic!

  12. Oh, my, why your embarrassing a southern gentleman like myself.......sorry lost my train of thoughtXD

  13. Assault the Allreds
    Routin' for the Yankees
    Masonic Secret Self Handshake
    White Water Wristing

  14. Surprised no one suggested:
    Bleeding the Beast
    Keeping it Sweet
    One-Man Rule

  15. ALL GOOD ONES!!!!!! hahahahahahahhaha Bleeding the beast!

  16. OMg, how could I add to this, you guys are so much fun!