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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

But they seem like such honest people, Part 2

When we left off, we were discussing the Brown family and hypocrisy.   The religion of Islam and Islamic scholars say that God categorizes hypocrisy into 2 groups, hypocrisy of belief and hypocrisy of action.  We discussed hypocrisy of belief in Part 1.

The second type of hypocrisy, according to Islam, is hypocrisy of action.

The hypocrite's crime is that he bears false witness against himself.
Hannah Arendt, On Revolution, 1963

Hypocrisy of action includes:
a.  lying,   
b.  breaking promises made,
c.   betraying trust, ,and
d. being imprudent and insulting during disagreements.

Lying.  Yes, I know that the majority of us tell “little white lies” to preserve the feelings of family and friends. Do you really want to tell your colleague that she dresses like a color-blind bag lady who got dressed in the dark this morning?  No, I am not talking about those kind of “fibs”, as my mother called them. I am talking about when parents tell their children that they can choose their religion and then, when the children try to exercise that choice the parents do an about-face and say that the kids can make the choice “when their frontal lobes are fully developed.” Or when parents tell their children that they can express their opinions calmly and respectfully and, again, when the children attempt to do just that, the parents have a hissy fit pout and shut down the discussion with autocratic pronouncements – or do the same thing to their spouses. I don’t know for sure what “fibs” the authorities may or may not have been told during bankruptcy or food stamp applications, but I have my personal opinions.

Interestingly, these Islamic scholars say that lying is ALWAYS part of hypocrisy because hypocrites cheat people with words to get what they want, caring only for their own self-interest and lacking an appropriate sense of shame for the things that they have done wrong (they have done wrong and don’t care).  Hmmmmm.

One of the things I find interesting is that the wives say they are happy and the marriages are good, when their body language, tone of voice and facial expressions say something else.  If you turn the volume off when they are speaking they look sad, anxious and sometimes even frightened.  Some people might consider this a form of lying and hypocrisy.

Any of you who have read Dr. Zhivago will remember that Yurii said, “Your health is bound to be affected if, day after day, you say the opposite of what you feel, if you grovel before what you dislike... Our nervous system isn't just fiction, it's part of our physical body, and it can't be forever violated with impunity."

Some of the examples of lying above also count as breaking promises made.  When you promise your teenager (or spouse) that you will treat them as a person, and then turn around and treat them as chattel, that smacks of hypocrisy.  And didn't Robyn say that she wanted to fit in? Didn't she sort of promise to do that?  I don't really see that playing out other than her promise to create more children.

I have seen numerous examples of Kody talking about one wife to another wife about a private matter and I thought I saw Robyn doing the same thing a couple of times (monkey see, monkey do).  To me that is betraying trust. I think that the only way plural marriage can work is when each separate marriage relationship is kept private.  Apparently Kody disagrees with me.  I also feel that both Kody and Janelle have betrayed Hunter’s trust by allowing TLC to film some of his more vulnerable moments.  Again, that is just me.  I may not have 17 kids, but I do have a child with a diagnosed mental illness and I feel this will come back to bite them in the @$$ (although Hunter will probably make a mint from his tell-all book).

The episodes at the end of last season and this season have several examples of Kody behaving badly during disagreements.  He tends to shut off those who disagree with him and behave autocratically and imprudently during disagreements.  I don't know how to explain Robyn's behavior during disagreements other than "yikes".

So, in one way or another, the Brown adults don’t fare very well under this examination.    But I’d like to know what you think.
Written By Terrasola!


  1. Logan has responsibilities as a man- what kid at 15, 16 gets up and gets everyone ready for 5 other kids?
    They talk about how he's the other "Man" when Kody's not around, yet, then he's a child when they are talking about religion of simply going to a youth group?
    That confused me.

    I thought they were very liberal when they said their children were free to chose the "lifestyle" in the beginning. I certainly want my kids to be in the church I am in when they grow up. But I never said I didn't.
    Then they flip 180 and say, oh, yes we do want them.
    It's simple.
    To be in their church, you have to choose polygamy. They didn't tell you that, because "lifestyle" is so much nicer that "religion" on the air. so much is lost in translation since talking about their religion would really upset the church.

    They put themselves out there. Sadly for Christine and probably their church, I don't think Kody is as concerned with the church right now as he is making some big money for his big family. On that aspect, I guess I can't blame him.
    But something has shifted since the beginning of the show.

    And remember, Christine said it was all real.

    Ur both spot on & extremely detailed...Love it :)
    I totally agree that something has shifted since the beginning & her name is Robyn :/ ...She is poison & it seems to me she's determined to be wife #1 , so she's Not respecting the other wives & boundaries & she's not accepting her role as wife #4 very graciously.
    I still want to know if they can ask her to leave? ?

  3. How about Christine and Kody lobbying for YEARS to legalize Polygamy;
    then running when they knew they were safe!
    Caramel Brownie, I've read many of your posts, you are a hoot, too!

  4. CB - no way can they ask Robyn to leave. their religion teaches them the sanctity and requirement of plural marriage (Doctrine and Covenants 132.) They are also taught to "endure to the end." in all things regarding their beliefs.

    so, Robyn is just a TEST to them to make them worthy for the Celestial Kingdom. They MUST learn to love and accept her fully. And Robyn wasn't just a'kiddin' when she said having a baby w/Kody now sealed her to the family forever. it certainly does in their religious beliefs.

    it's so easy for us to just use our common sense and logic when we're on the outside looking in. it's QUITE a different story when you're indoctrinated since birth with this crap and you'd give your life for it. that's where they're coming from.

    as far as not knowing this stuff from them, I read a few times that was the deal they made with their AUB church that they wouldn't bring them into it personally by constantly referring to them by name. That particular splinter group of Mormonism is pretty small and likes to keep to themselves because of their polygamous ways.

    not defending it at all - just trying to give some clarification.

  5. this is Planet Kody 11:02. oops! just saw another Planet Kody post on another thread. SORRY! will pick something else.

  6. Planet Kody said...

    "...They are also taught to "endure to the end." in all things regarding their beliefs."
    "They MUST learn to love and accept her fully. And Robyn wasn't just a'kiddin' when she said having a baby w/Kody now sealed her to the family forever. it certainly does in their religious beliefs."

    Adding a question along these lines:
    So how is it that they can be "re-assigned"? And, how did Robyn get a divorce? B.c. her husband was kinky?
    Do you have to get these marriages approved by the church before you can do it? Because they act like Kody never thought of another wife before, and my friend says that's not true. He did, but was turned down by the church and couldn't marry her because of his finances. Then when they got the show, woot! he got a new woman! Is this plausible?

  7. Thanks anony 9:44am

    Interesting PK,..I've always wondered the same thing Stink Eye about the divorce stigma & she got to keep her kids...did she divorce from a plural or mono marriage. I thought women who divorced from plural basically gets banned from her kids til they turn 18...
    Something shady about adding a 4th wife w/excess baggage,etc..& then all the extra perks & Kody time she receives :/
    Some observations I made from the early Original 3 & hubby pics is their dress code. All wives always wearing long skirts & long sleeve shirts, but along comes Robyn & boom: bossom fitting 1/2 sleeve shirts & fitted jeans, high heels! Scarlet R ..lol Lots of things being compromised , well hell nevermind , I was gonna include self
    esteem, morals & high family values(which they speak so highly of ...) but they have none!!

  8. there's a ton of nuances between FLDS, AUB and LDS along with all the other splinter groups of Joseph Smith's initial organization.

    in the particular case of Robyn tho, she was not in a plural marriage. and who knows exactly what the divorce really entailed because who knows if the marriage was legally recorded or not?

    i, personally, am much more familiar with the differences between FLDS and LDS.

    in the FLDS, if the woman leaves the cult, she must either flee with her children in tow and be hidden out in the various underground homes (usually in st. george or salt lake) that they have for that. if the cult kicks the man out, then his wives/children are re-assigned. occasionally, he is able to take a few kids with him.

    LDS - i'm talking temple marriages only here - until there's an official temple divorce given, the man, woman and their children are still all sealed together for eternity. if the man decides to remarry, he can remarry without a temple divorce usually. but if the woman wants to remarry in the temple - then she must apply for the temple divorce and her ex-husband is contacted to make sure there's nothing outstanding and un-reconciled with them. and if he okays it all, then she's given her temple divorce and THEN can now go remarry in the temple.

    however, as long as the ex-hubby has remained a worthy member in good standing, the children from the divorce are now only sealed to him and no longer to their mother, too. it's god's way. patriarchal first.

    i think what's hard to fathom for most here is the fact that Kody has ALWAYS been raised in an extremely patriarchal religion whether it was the LDS church prior and now the AUB. and so have all his wives. once you understand that lifelong brainwashing that's in their DNA now, then you'll finally understand why they don't just up and leave him. His importance to them is their #1 reason for being here and that's to bring a lot of children into the world and to be able to return back to God THROUGH Kody. the woman does have to be called into the Celestial Kingdom by her eternally sealed partner. they're even given a new name in the temple that he's to call them in with. he's given one too. but he only knows theirs and his is to be kept secret from them seriously.