First up, we get to watch Kody and his fam coming up with names for Robyn's little bun in the oven. Oh, did you know some of Kody's kids were named after cities? Logan, Madison, Savanah, Aspyn, and Dayton. ..DAYTON? Robyn's Dayton, from her first marriage? But I thought his real name was David? So, Robyn must have known while married to 'Dayton's father, that she would eventually divorce, meet her soul mate, and rename her firstborn Dayton, right? I mean, it is kind of neat to name your child after a city - Paris Hilton, Mariel Hemingway, Cuba Gooding Jr (oops - that's a country). So Robyn's gonna name her fourth little bundle of joy after a city, right? Yay! Lehi? San Diego? (got to keep that honeymoon experience alive, ya know), Pinesdale? Yoming?(oops - that's a state) Who knows? What the heck? I looked down for a second and now Kody and Robyn are in a birthing class? Robyn miraculously goes from ' I swallowed a large water balloon' tummy to 'I swallowed a beach ball'. Time travelling is fun! But a little dizzying...
|Honey, did you drink 2 gallons of water today?|
Ugh! The introduce yourself ice-breaker. I just hate those. " Hi, I'm Robyn. This is Kody. This is our first child - together...(hint hint) This is my 4th, and this will be Kody's 17th (hint hint nudge nudge). WE'RE POLYGAMIST! (silence and blank stares) You know, I have three other SISTERWIVES!" Oh, Sisterwives! Now they get it!
And then that oh so uncomfortable segment when Robyn talks about her not so happy relationship with her first husband. But that's all behind her now. She's got Kody as her birthing partner. And he's her strong male figure she can rely on. So Robyn, the Honeymoon Experience was not so successful on your first runaround, eh? Got to keep it real, folks.
After class, the instructors give a totally believable (NOT) interview on pregnant polygs (it's a lot easier than spelling out the word all the time). Says Sherry: "As a midwife, I've definitely cared for polygamist families but I've never had someone sit in a class or be that vocal about their lifestyle because I think they've been living in quiet for so long." To which midwife educator Naomi adds her two cents "If you love each other, and you love your kids and take care them and live your truth, then who gives a crap what everybody else thinks!" Nicely put, Naomi. Do you have anything else to add? "I'd love a sister wife!". Okay, now Naomi, can you awkwardly hug Sherry? Nice job. Any other words to say Sherry before they turn the cameras off? "Me too!"
Who said you can't go home again?
Now here is where I had a major What the He double hockey sticks moment. The teaser to the next segment has this gal in red saying "...there's some classmates of mine that thought Kody Brown was gay. Flamboyantly gay. " What? Did Kody majorly piss off the show's producers or what? But we got a loooonnnnng ass wait before we get to that story!
Kody's friend Ken
|Kody's friend Ken|
Who in their right mind goes pleasure boating in a thunderstorm? You got it! The Browns do! Frankly, if I was about to do something, and a thunderstorm suddenly appeared, I would think, hmmmm...maybe a higher power is trying to tell me something. Like Janelle said, "I thought it was extremely stupid to go boating when the lightening was in the sky cuz we're gonna be like CRISPY! It will strike the boat and we're all dead!" I'm with ya, Janelle. Don't want to get to that planet any faster than you have to, right?
Hmmm... I think Ken's a little perturbed - seems he feels like he's doing all the work and Kody, well Kody is off doing what Kody does best - being in the limelight. Oh my gosh I know it now! Ken sounds like a slightly less morose GARY SINISE!! Wait a minute, he kinda looks like Gary Sinise too, if you squint real hard.
Oh my gosh, please, no more talking about polygamous marriage and how you have a relationship with each person - blah blah blah and that Kody has a monogamist relationship with each of his wives blah blah blah - can't we just get to the boat and the water? I want to see Kody's hair go up on end when the lightening strikes!
Hooray, we see scenes of the Brown kids riding an inner tube and Kody driving the boat shouting "Hold on tight!" and Logan yelling back "Nice knowing ya, Dad!". And scenes of the Brown family jumping off a cliff into the water - now that looks like a really safe activity, too. Oh no, Ken walks over to Kody and says " Let's just cruise out on the lake..." "Just you and I?" asks Kody. "Yeah" replies the clone of Gary Sinise. Run Kody Run! Ken's gonna make you pay for going all fundamentalist and leaving the faith. Run like the wind and don't look back!
But does Kody listen? Hell no. He goes out on the water, alone, with Ken. In his talking head, Kody recounts how twenty years earlier, Ken's reaction to Kody's change in faith had offended him. But now Kody can see how Ken may have felt betrayed by Kody's sudden turn towards fundamentalism. (I think Kody is thinking with the feminine side of his brain). Ken, however is firmly placed within his LDS faith, and his super macho monogamist manliness. Says Ken "We grew up in the LDS church together, and I was completely clueless that you were merging into this fundamental thing...I remember when you guys first became polygamists, it was a big shock to the town." Oh really? That's interesting, so the entire town of Lovell knew twenty years ago that the Browns had gone polyg. Please continue, Ken. "And I think one of the things that made them nervous is...there was some active proselytizing...your family and the other family involved, were sharing their ideas with some of the people in town. It fact your mom was best friends with my mom and shared a lot of her thoughts with my mom and my mom tried to talk your mom out of it and they went their separate ways." Listen to me Kody. Run. Away.Now. Otherwise the deprogrammers will get you cause this guy thinks you're in a CULT!!! But does Kody run? Hell, no. In fact, Ken has organized a get together with Kody's former classmates. And Kody can't wait to meet with, what Ken calls, his toughest audience.
Kody meets up with old friends
Suffice it to say Lovell Wyoming does love parades, but does not love polygamists.
And Meri, bless her heart, says something that says a lot about herself. Extremely attracted to Kody when they first met and internally conflicted regarding her faith, she tells us that if she had to have sisterwives in order to get Kody, she'll do it. So does this explain why she suggested Robyn to Kody? Because she felt in order to keep the man, she would have to accept Robyn as a sisterwife? Holy cow!
You would think this is a segment where Robyn will keep her mouth shut. And actually, she does. I think it was because she was furiously showing food into her mouth, but that's okay. She eating for two.
His friends seem like typical friends we all would have. And they seem to have Kody's number as they all remember Kody needing to be the center of attention. In fact, his friend Janae spelled it all out. When she found out Kody had gone polygamist, she wasn't surprised at all because she saw it as a "...built in way for [Kody] to be the center of attention all the time...with four wives and 16 kids" . Of course, Ken brings up the "sex" angle and Robyn defends her man. If she talks about how paying for sex is cheaper than a wife one more time, I will puke.
Kody has decided he will not defend his faith, especially not to Ken. And Ken makes no bones how he feels about polygamy. And frankly, I can understand where Ken is coming from. But I felt it was totally inappropriate for Kody, during the couch interview with the wives, to reach over and put his hand on Christine's knee, while audibly saying SHHHHH!!! when she was adamantly defending her faith. For those of you who are interested, it was the scene where Christine mentions taking out her Bible and her Book of Mormon asking "How do you explain this!" in response to Ken's rather abrupt dismissal of fundamentalism earlier. To me, Kody could have used this moment to explain his faith is more than believing in plural wives. Instead, as usual, he did not, and missed a golden opportunity. The show cuts back to the get together, and Ken says he feels that all the friends have been through the shock of Kody becoming a polygamist. Now they are working through finding tolerance for his lifestyle. Awwww....I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy now. Can someone pour me another glass of bubbly, please?
I spit my bubbly out all over my brand new jeans when Kody mentioned his Scarlet P. Like, is that something you want to share with outsiders? Can't doctors give you an antibiotic or something to cure it? Oh. He was talking P as in polygamy. Never mind.
Here we go, the gay remark. Finally!! But the lady in red just says she never believed Kody was gay, although he did wear really tight pants and his hair was always perfect. And Kody explains he's just a metrosexual with a keen fashion sense. Ok, whatever...Hope all those metrosexuals out there aren't too offended.
Kody's father was quite the man about town, wasn't he? Two women came up to Kody to say they had dated his father! I could say something totally snarky, but I will refrain.
Oh my gosh. They decided not to name the baby after a city and instead, will name him Solomon. Whenever I hear that name, I think of Poor Old Solomon Grundy, born on a Monday, christened on Tuesday, etc...Well, it could have been worse. Imagine if they had decided on Albuquerque, or Tallahassee. See what I mean?
And, somewhere in the show, Robyn used the words salacious and connotation in the same sentence! Brava Robyn! Now tell us, do you know how to spell them?
Enough snark for now. What are your thoughts?
Just a few observations: