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Monday, November 28, 2011

Season Three Finale: Sisters' Special Delivery Part One

This episode is all about Robyn. Poor Robyn is so freakin' preggers, it hurts just to watch her waddle along. So let's allow the bitch  witch  broodmare her time in the sun. After all, she IS giving birth to Kody's child. Child number 17, to be exact. On the subject of sun, I wonder if Fundamental Fitness will have spray on tans?

In case you are not aware, the review this week will be in two parts. Double your pleasure, double your fun.  So gird up those loins and get ready for the All About Robyn Season Finale...Part ONE.

As the camera zooms in on Robyn's house, an extremely pregnant  Robyn STILL hasn't popped that kid out. In fact, as she opens a box in her living room containing a playpen - no doubt a baby gift from one of her many fans - she gives us a rundown of her still in progress pregnancy. I've having contractions she says. I'm still having morning sickness, I'M STILL PREGNANT! Blah blah blah, the woman just can't stop.

So how are Robyn's sister wives helping her out? Oh yeah, they are giving her a lot of love and
support. Well, she does say that she "...can't complain in front of Meri... If I complain in front of Meri she
says 'YOU should just be GRATEFUL you're PREGNANT!' "   Someone, please hand Robyn an
award for her sensitivity towards Meri's fertility problem. Thank you.

Next scene we are at Janelle's house. Janelle said  Hunter was still "sullen and withdrawn", but
he's getting better. She also explained that Madison lives "...vicariously in Utah..." and just attends school in Vegas.

While Janelle speaks, we see her reach down and grab one of those god-awful fritos covered in peanut butter heart attack snacks and eat it.  Oh Janelle! You're not going to lose weight eating that crapola! Salads, hon, WITH NO SALAD DRESSING!

Now we are at Christine's house. She's fixing grilled chicken and vegetables for her family. Oh,
looks like Ysabel is back with her mother!  She's talking about her kids, too. Seems Aspyn and Mykelti just love Vegas now. But Paedon, he's not adjusting so well.

You see, Paedon was the one bullying Robyn's Dayton. But after Christine had a "good
conversation" with him, Paedon has turned over a new leaf. In fact, he now walks over to Robyn's
house and picks up Dayton on the way to the school bus stop each morning.

Makes you wonder where Kody was during all of this. Wait, here he is...at Robyn's house!

Kody arrives in his $60K sports car to take Robyn to her midwife for an examination. As Kody drags a Braxton-Hicks contracting Robyn down the sidewalk outside the midwife's office, he stops long enough to ask her "...you want me to massage it out of you?" SAY WHUT?!?

Oh, I get it  now. Kody was talking about massaging out the contraction, not the BABY! WHEW!!

We are treated to yet another look at Robyn's huge pasty white stretch marked belly sticking out for all the world to see. I can't help but wonder to myself if she's ever heard the saying "Modest is Hottest"?

Robyn says "I feel that Solomon knows that he's got a big family who loves him..."  I think Solomon
also knows there's a load of bat shit crazy outside and that's why he's refusing to leave the safety of the womb!

Hey, we were all worried about Mona the Real Estate Lady for nothing...oh, you weren't worried
about her? Well I was worried! First she tweets about the Browns joining her real estate team, next
thing we know, the Browns bail out on her and start talking about owning a fitness center. But ever
the professional, Mona takes the Browns (and business partner Trainer Bill) around to check out 
some locations.

Oh dear, did Kody just say his business name was Fitness Fundamentalist? Ya know, the boob
doesn't even know the name of his own business and wants to choose a location because it looks "ritzy".
I am so glad I'm not an investor. This is not looking good.

All right! It's the Sister wives at Lunch segment. This week's location: Mezzo. Call me Cynical
(Cynical Jinx if you're nasty) but I'm getting vibes that while Janelle talks about re-establishing that
one on one relationship with each sister wife with these weekly lunches, we are going to find out
things aren't so rosy in Sister wife Land. So, I'm gonna say NO to the kumbaya kool-aid that this
lunching with the girls segment wants me to drink. Nope, ain't gonna fall for it.

If you want a successful family, you DON'T have favorites

And in the next segment, I see I was right. So Christine. In the first season you had a conniption fit when you found out that Kody 1) Kissed Robyn before marriage and 2) Helped Robyn choose her
wedding dress. This season we found out that 1) You weren't feeling special anymore and 2)You
were on anti anxiety and anti depressant medication.

Now we find out that you not only blamed Robyn for taking Kody away from you, you blame her for
being Kody's favorite wife. Funny, but I've got to say, Christine, why are you blaming only Robyn?
Shouldn't that goofy haired Kody shoulder some of this blame, too?

But even though Christine has "apologized" and wormed her way back into Kody's good graces (reaffirming her spot in Celestial Heaven beside him) by saying the fundamentalist woman's mantra "I promise to be better", she has more to say. "If you want a successful family, you DON'T have favorites". Hey Kody, did you hear that? That was direct from Christine to you! In fact, I think it was direct from granddad Rulon through Christine to you. WORD!

Robyn was NOT amused.....

In the couch interview, Janelle let it be known - she ain't getting up in the middle of the night just to see a baby.

Robyn threw Janelle a look that, well, if looks could kill, Janelle would be pushing up sister wife daisies.

Meri's revelations, however, were the most shocking. Now, we find out exactly how Meri feels about
her sister wives Janelle and Christine, and it ain't too friendly, if ya know what I mean.

As Meri describes how wonderful her life has been since Robyn came on board, she lets us in on a
little secret. You see, Meri has always wanted to have a close relationship with her sister wives, but
alas, it never happened. It wasn't until Robyn joined the family, that Meri finally got the sister wife
she always wanted. Meri put it this way "Robyn and I have become very close...we have a very good relationship...we are very very good friends...She came into the family... wanting  to have a deep close relationship with her sister wives. I have always wanted that, and never had it. I have it with Robyn.  And I'm very happy about that."

Kind of explains why Meri said earlier she had to send her SISTER out to buy diapers when Mariah
was born instead of asking her sister wives.

What we need right now is a picture of Truely. It's so cute how she's reading that book - upside down! Just like her daddy would!

But isn't she a bit old for a pacifier?

So now we see the Browns checking out a cul de sac where they want to build four separate homes.
Mona, even though the Browns didn't come on board as employees, you can  make a mint OFF of them by selling real estate TO them. Now that's a savvy business person!

This is a good place to end Part One. Stay tuned for Part Two - Robyn Gives Birth!


  1. I say this every time, and it's not just that you are my partner.... that was THE BEST you have written ....I laughed my ass off every second and NEVER saw some of the jokes coming!
    BRILLIANT!!! That's what I want to do, Laugh Dammit!

    JUST LIKE DADDY would!!!!!!
    Pushing up Sister Wife Daisies!
    I swear, to put my favorite line, I'd have to retype the whole damn thing!

    THIS is the reason I am watching this rather snoozfest show at this point. We have so much fun here!

    I want all the other readers/friends to know something. ((If you have been here from the start, June/July, you qualify to be called as Robyn squabbles....."Sissstttaaaaa's!"))

    This ain't no easy task. I can tell you Cynical probably hasn't slept since last night. We really do owe her a round of applause. (I tried, I am not smart enough to put a mp3 here)

    Don't fret in trying to get all your bursts of Sister Wife comments out in a day-We are here to stay and will, for your reading pleasure, be picking apart this and the whole season apart again bit by juicy bit over the hiatus!

    My Hubs calls it sister wife vomit. After many shows, I can't stop commenting on all the Bullsh*$!!! LOL

    So, you may relax, Stewardess Wife will be by shortly with your drinks, unbuckle your seat belt, and unbuckle that top button after those Fritos.

    AND, do we not only work hard for you, Free, we won't show you our Christmas lists; Sigh and tell you how we need a new car; no, not even let you peek at our Target Wish List! Bwahahahah.

    Lord have mercy, if Cinny was my child, I couldn't be prouder of this review! YOU ROCK!

    no, that's not the right verb..... I got it... You are simply AWESOME!

  2. The more I read comments the more sad it makes me too see so people being ass wholes. If don't have something nice to say don't say it . I think Kody has alot of great blessings. I see alit if love I know it's only a show but it has opened my eyes makes me think of my faith I have questions wish I could email kody :) ps has nothing to do with sister wife's has to do with Norman faith. Rickm1219@gmail.com

  3. Why would you email Kody? How about talking to clergy near you? I'm not sure about the Norman faith, but there are plenty of MORMON missionaries just waiting for you to contact them.

    Oh yeah, maybe you should follow your own advice - haven't you learned it isn't nice to call people names? I'm sure Kody wouldn't approve ;-)

  4. Mmm Rick has Koolaid too, his tastes a bit more bitter than the browns though.

  5. WOOT WOOT!! My girl Cynical doesn't disappoint!

    After 3 screaming kids..2 trips to Wal Mart... 1 worthless hubby.. (get it??)

    My night is filled with joy! The Browns really should THANK you. I would not watch that lying piece of crap 'no more if it wasn't to come here and read and talk. Actually, I usually go from mad at the show..."that's staged!" "oh no they didn't" to laughter and almost forgiveness after reading reading your review. Cynical Jinx ('cause I am nasty!LOL THAT was priceless!)
    Thank you for starting this blog and all that help!

  6. Btw, I had that dance DOWN now when I was 8!

  7. Thank you Cynical Jinx! Up with a baby asleep in one arm, typing with the other hand (arm)

    thanks for some adult time that was not only actually worth reading, but as overly Cheerful Christine says... Awesome!

    i bet she's been on those pills during this show~
    She's got the happy mantra going... "we're all happy! my favorite... SOLOMON LOVES ME!
    my baby I adore here, but believe me, she liked daddy's sounds, or at least we said she did, but 5 different mommies./dad, I think not!

    get some sleep and I'll be back for more tomorrow. AWESOME!



    That's all I can get out! Laughing too hard.

  9. Well Good Morning to ME!
    I am not joking when I say: Reading a super great job of writing/combined with a whimsical yet gut laughing comedy/is amazing! Better than coffee! (or with!)
    Seeing what you knew bothered you, but couldn't put your finger on it, in a wisecracking-dooropening way - AWESOME! (couldn't resist)


  10. This is so funny. Thank you so much!

    It seems selfish of Kody to worry about only babies, which he does. weird.
    What about teens?
    Oh, right, you are showing them at their age, 16, 17, they don't have the FL - but they can pop a baby out at 19? No wonder all the women act so damn immature to me..

  11. BEST LINES!!!

    We are treated to yet another look at Robyn's huge pasty white stretch marked belly sticking out for all the world to see. I can't help but wonder to myself if she's ever heard the saying "Modest is Hottest"?

    Robyn says "I feel that Solomon knows that he's got a big family who loves him..." I think Solomon
    also knows there's a load of bat shit crazy outside and that's why he's refusing to leave the safety of the womb!

    Kody arrives in his $60K sports car to take Robyn to her midwife for an examination. As Kody drags a Braxton-Hicks contracting Robyn down the sidewalk outside the midwife's office, he stops long enough to ask her "...you want me to massage it out of you?" SAY WHUT?!?

    No shit. I wasn't sure if I was watching a birth, sex, what. Fundy Porn I read below!ha

    They made that birth sound like a sexual experience. UNREAL. That girl cries if she gets the wrong color m & m.... and not now?

  12. oops. I was having a Kody moment.

    I do want to thank everyone for this fun blog!

  13. Oh my gosh, they should of never gone the separate houses route, all magical heck is now oozing out. Oh and that picture of the frets dipped in crisco, ugh. I love the pictures, worth a thousand words. I can not wait to see this compound on the cull de sac being built. Great synopses, always a fun break.........I checked out the fan site, boring, did not get the vibe, so serious about a goofy tv show........I am laughing and that means this blog is a better fit for a sense of humor and lightheartedness..........I LOVE TRULEY and that book, a cute picture.

  14. did anyone notice the pictures in Robyn's room of she and Kody posed by that damn car??? It was a shot after she had whatever his name is.... I mean, really? Who takes pictures with their car??

  15. A few other things that bother me.... Does anyone notice that the "wives" have fake nails? Not that it's a big deal, but come on, if you're THAT broke, how the hell do you have 4 wives with fake nails and highlights and a trianer? Stupid. I also noticed Mary got a new ride- thank god! Her old pos was about to bite it- ummmm... wonder if she and the Kodster have a picture of them all layed out on top of the dect taped Camry in her room? And...... why does Kody always wear those stupid "blouses?" He looks like hes' trying to go out clubbing. Ridiculous. I can't help but dislike Robyn- first I really with they'd take some "nail, highlight and tan" money and get her jaw fixed.... and that voice. uuuugghhhh. Jesus, sister, we all know youre having a baby, but do we have to hear it? and did she just deliver the placenta while she was hanging out with her dad and the Kodster in bed? I mean, all kinds of crazy in that episode. I'll have to rewatch and find some more things that just aggravate the He$$ out of me. I wish I had a copy of the Robyn/Kody/car pic to make my screensaver. that'd just make Chirstmas he$$ all the way around.

  16. Really? Well wishes do come true. email our address and I will send you one!

  17. I have a feeling Kody may not be as into Robyn now - I mean unless Meri is taking care of Solomon (which could very well happen - she seems to be the designated wetnurse/supernanny) then Robyn won't have as much time to dote on Kody.

    And I think we can ALL agree that Kody demands A LOT of attention.

    (Or, maybe Christine will break her jaw and put on a brown wig to grab Kody back while Robyn is changing diapers.)

  18. Anonymous 8:40
    The Christine part, too funny!

    Woot Woot what a review!!!
    Love it!

  19. Look at the last picture of them standing in the Cul de Sac. Remember them running spreading out to see where their houses were? Funny thing is-- probably would be where they are standing in the pic. They should know that. In Vegas, there would be 10 around the circle!

    Note- prepare yourself for season 4--- ROBYN constantly BABY TALKING!

  20. Its a total long shot but I saw Mona on facebook and her maiden name is Brown. Made me wonder if she is some kind of relative.

  21. Robyn baby talking - ugggghhhhh MUTE button

  22. KodysLexus JanellesJalopyNovember 29, 2011 at 10:03 AM

    Thank you, Jinx for another great wrap up.....How could I have missed Janelle was eating the hot Frito mess? I actually kind of like Janelle and her kids, so I hope she takes my Fundametal Fitness advice.....I'll put it in rhyme form so even Kody can grasp it....

    You can't get fit
    If you eat that Frito shit!

    Perhaps we could start a section of advice for the Browns, and put it in Haiku form? That should keep us all busy during the hiatus! :). What do you say Mister Sister?

  23. Excellent review! Can't wait for Part 2!
    As the series goes on it becomes clearer and clearer that above everything else, (advocating his "religion," putting a "friendly face" on polygamy, being a "superhero" dad and husband) Kody Brown is a fame addict who realized the only way he's going to make money for his family is by selling them out on national TV.

    Real estate, LIV detox supplements, fitness centre, Pampered Chef... these are all just beads on a necklace of failure and I'm sure there's more to come.

    A whole lot of talk and plans which are poorly executed and never last long.

  24. Did anyone else find it disturbing that when they were discussing their feelings about adding another child to the family, Johnny Appleseed said something like: "You have to remember, this is Robyn's first." No, no it isn't. She has three kids already. I think the "proof is in the pudding" (thanks Robyn) if we want to talk about the dangers of polygamy- some of these kids are really brainwashed. Johnny Appleseed really believes that having a baby with his dad/crazy eyes is the key to these women's happiness/salvation.

    WORST moment of the show- "I'm touching him!" As Kody reaches his hands into Robyn's loins. I don't understand how the family sat and watched this episode together. Perhaps they had vomit bags on hand. I wish they would have filmed their reactions while watching the episode. Christine probably had to get up and pop a few pills. Janelle probably had ten trays of stuffed fritos on hand.

  25. Bravo !!! EXCELLENT review !!!

    My personal fav of your insights:
    "Makes you wonder where Kody was during all of this."

    This is such a loaded question as it applies to just about all of the sister wives "reality" that TLC treats the audience to every week.

    Kody is an expert sperm machine, have to give him that. And no question, he does know his way around women's inner thighs in all circumstances, including birth.

    But then...what...what else does he do?????

    Does *he* personally "provide" for his family of "21"...No!
    (TLC bucks and fans' donations do not count)

    Does he shoulder the day to day tasks for his family of "21"...house by house....No!!!

    Does he interact with his now "17" children other than commenting that they *look* like his kids....No!!

    Does he relate to his older children's angst about being in a "different" family and then being uprooted like thieves in the night to a new state, schools, etc, beyond dubbing those that speak their minds as "hormonal monsters".....No!!

    Does he show any remorse/concern for what he sees happening to the psyches of his *wives* other than throwing a cheap watch at them and then requiring that they say they are sorry for acting out...and on camera for the world to see their subservience, no less.....No!!
    (Christine paid dearly in pride for that tacky watch)

    Does he do anything beyond fluff his outdated, surfer dude hair and drive his "I am a successful stud" sports car from driveway to driveway for the next booty call.....No!!!

    The show should be called "Kody's World"
    ...the life and times of a lazy, self-indulgent jerk who is smiling at it all.

  26. "You can't get fit
    If you eat that Frito shit!"

    I think this is the funniest thing I have read!
    I almost lost my bladder when I read the ode to the fitness Frito!

  27. Anonymous 10:42: right on, exactly! And have you noticed all the lip service paid by the adults about how Kody (attempts) to nurture each relationship with quality time, how we're shown the anniversary trips, the dinners, etc. But what about quality time with the kids? Where are the camping trips with JUST Kody and the teenaged boys? Where are his trips to the zoo with his younger kids, JUST him and his kids without any moms? Where are the trips to the salon with the moms and the teenaged girls? Nowhere, because with that many kids, you only have quantity and not quality. Kody is best summed up by his high school friends: that living a polygamous lifestyle is just another way for Kody to be the centre of attention! Kids need a dad in their lives, and every fourth night is not enough, imho. And having sister wives are no replacement to when it's not your night with the husband.

  28. TLC/Reality TV seems to muck with/wreck most families it touches, although an argument can be made that the families were a mess in the first place if they were willing to do a reality program. However, SW can't really "wreck" their family worse then they have already through their own behaviors/choices:

    worst case scenario, they all "divorce" - would the amount of time each kid sees their dad go down? not likely. Would the wives still have each other - only if they wanted too. Would the kids have to lose closeness with their half-siblings because they live in diff. homes- already done. So I guess if you throw a grenade into your own life, you might as well sell out at the same time. At least that way you are dividing 24 hrs a day by 21 people rather than 14 to 16 (assuming you work full time - oh the horrors that would be).

    In my opinion, 3 of the wives have big families of their own, no need to combine to earn the "large family" title. It must be hard for Janelle or Christine to spend enough time with each kid, much less the Kodster who has to visit his other families too. I really hope the kids go to college and don't live at home so they can truly make their own choices.

  29. OK I've been dying to say this since I thought of it last night. Didn't that Octomom Nadia Suleman's fertility doctor get his license to practice medicine taken away? This is because he knowingly did IVF on her when he KNEW she was on social security with SIX children already? Then he put 12 fetuses in her which resulted in 8 MORE??? How could ANY fertility doctor agree to work with The Browns? They already have 17 children an no REAL job. We all know this TLC gig won't last forever....Kate Gosselin anyone??? Well if any fertility doctor considers working with the Browns I suggest they seriously reconsider it by talking to formerly licensed Doctor Michael Kamrava. I bet he wishes that he NEVER performed fertility treatment on Nadia Suleman.

  30. Piliocolobus said, "Didn't that Octomom Nadia Suleman's fertility doctor get his license to practice medicine taken away?"

    I think that I very recently read that the fertility doc for Octomom has gotten his license back now.

    But your point is well made....why would any responsible fertility professional participate in producing yet another Brown baby????
    Except...except.... for the marketing and PR potential !!!
    And no doubt there is some doc out there who would see the value of that.

    But I don't believe for a second that Meri will be the recipient of the Robyn/baby maker miracle for season 3. That was just the best hook they could come up with for next season.
    More likely we will have to suffer the *contrived and phony* pain of Robyn rescinding the offer or of Meri declining....all scripted camera fodder.

    And of course, let's not forget the other teaser we are meant to wait for..
    How WILL Janelle and Christine respond to Meri's mean-spirited, jabs ????!!!!

    Oh..the suspense (however *scammy*) builds...LOL

  31. Piliocolobus-

    Interesting point. However, this goes along the same theme of something I was talking about yesterday- since Kody is not legally married to the other concubines, they get themselves through a lot of loopholes. (I.E. They can each individually file for bankruptcy and not effect one another's credit, they can collect food stamps and not claim one another's income, etc.). This is another example. If there were a law stating that IVF could not be performed if a woman already has "x" number of children and collects food stamps, Meri and Kody would fly under the radar BECAUSE, again, because the other wives have no legal attachment to them. Meri only has one child and probably does not technically collect food stamps, etc. The other, unwed "wives" don't have any income to speak of since all assets are in Crazy Eye's name- so they legally have nothing and can take advantage of the system.

    DOES it not really get under anyone else's skin that these women just recently filed for bankruptcy but are going to be living in brand new homes because their bankruptcy tainted credit does not touch KODY because he isn't actually married to them. Again, I repeat myself, KODY WOULD NOT MARRY THESE WOMEN IF THE LAW CHANGED AND HE COULD.

  32. Anon 11:44,

    No I just read a recent news article that said Suleman's fertility doc was back in court TRYING to get his license back and the judge said NO WAY.

  33. FYI Cynical Jinx/Mister Sister and the rest of the crew!

    I've recently put a post up on my personal blog driving some traffic your way. You will definitely have some more Sister Wives Blog addicts in the near future :)


  34. Sister Martyrs,

    Well in the least they would be asked the question, "How many children do you have?" and so far as I've seen on the show at least, they have all responded honestly saying how many they already have together and then INCLUDING the numbers of the other wives children. I don't see how they could get by that on camera. On camera they HAVE to admit to the true total number of children or look like hypocrites.

    Nope, I say a fertility doctor would have to be STUPID and careless of keeping his license to practice medicine if her does fertility treatments for the Browns now. In the LEAST they risk having a NATION full of people hating and ridiculing him. Look what happened to Suleman's doctor, the NATION criticized him AND he lost his medical license. He couldn't BE more humiliated.

  35. the craziest thing is the set up of this famiy which started with the fact that meri couldn't have children SO she brought in Janelle. Isn't it weird how kody and meris child looks like janelle??? Maybe she gave meri her first baby and they made a wife of her?? after becoming a wife she no longer wanted to be a surrogate or adopt out any more children to meri? christine was brought in because the two career women needed a babysitter. Meri doesn't feel close to janelle and christine because they didn't have any children for her BUT robin will !! fourth wife brought in for meri to have a baby !!!!! so crazy but I just have to watch it !!! I do feel sorry for the kids just like I do the duggar family- the older ones take care of the younger ones and no one gets enough attention. and crazy eyes, ha! so true- enjoyed all the comments, very funny !!

  36. Meri had a difficult pregnancy and so I believe she was seen by a doctor and delivered by a doctor. Wasn't she? 'Cause now that you mention it Meri's daughter DOES look like Janelle. PLEASE someone with a good memory....Did Meri give birth by midwife at home or by a doctor? I DO seem to remember Kody saying something like, he regrets Meri having given birth at home because of complications. HMMmmmmmmmmmm WAIT did Meri and Janelle have children at the SAME time??? I seem to recall something like THAT to.

  37. I don't know if it's just the camera angle or what, but in the last picture on the house lot, Janelle, Meri, and even Kody look like they've lost a little weight to me.

  38. I have a technical legal question. If Kody is only legally married to Meri then WHY did they run from Utah? I mean a man CAN have a wife and then impregnate women outside of the marriage. I mean that IS legal right??? His "marriages" would only be illegal if they were all married by a certified person with a marriage certificate. As it is Kody is only legally married to Meri and ALL the "wives" went into the "understanding" with eyes wide open. It's not as if he was fooling with any of the wives and they BELIEVED that they were legally married. WHY run from Utah then? WHAT does the state have on them? I am confused. Can someone tell me WHAT the state of Utah has on them?

  39. Pili--I believe it was charges of bigamy, cohabitating together with multiple women.

  40. Piliocolobus:


    Polygamy is actually illegal in Utah- its when you hold yourself out as being married to multiple people even though you aren't. Bigamy is when you actually marry more than one person at the same time- also illegal. I think it is just a matter of whether or not the state where you live wants to bother wasting time prosecuting you. The link above is interesting because it is a statement issued by the Utah Attorney General stating: "Polygamy is illegal in Utah and forbidden by the Arizona constitution. However, law enforcement agencies in both states have decided to focus on crimes within polygamous communities that involve child abuse, domestic violence and fraud." VERY INTERESTING.

  41. OK Thanks TBB,

    This is what I found on Wiki at least...

    "In the United States, the Model Penal Code (section 230.1) defines bigamy as a misdemeanor and polygamy as a felony. Having more than one spouse at the same time gets classified as polygamy, and bumped to a felony, if it is done "in purported exercise of a plural marriage..." According to Joel Feinberg in Moral Limits of the Criminal Law: "Righteously, flaunting one's illicit relationships, according to the Code, is apparently a morally aggravating circumstance, more punishable than its clandestine and deceptive counterpart."

    So I guess his is seen as the more serious offense Polygamy.(Because he flaunts his marriages and even though 3 are just "ceremonial" it is seen as a polygamy offense and not just Bigamy.)

    Still kinda confusing to me about the differences but that's my take.

  42. Pilio -

    If you couldn't tell already, the big escape from Utah Law is a fraud. The Browns weren't in danger of being charged with anything that we know of, surely not anything related to polygamy since Utah turns a blind eye to it's considerable population of practicing polygamists.

    How The Browns could run amok of the law is if Christine claimed "unknown" as the father for her children, which would entitle her to more food stamps and welfare. Utah social services, after the airing of the first season, could go after Kody to pay them back for monies given to Christine under false pretenses.

    It has nothing to do with the hysteria rattling around in The Browns' heads that the State wants to take their kids or jail Kody for polygamy. It has everything to do with fraud, which Utah may, or may not, be investigating.

    In any case, moving to Nevada doesn't prevent Utah from serving papers on Kody. The whole Great Escape in the middle of the night was a scripted moment to make The Browns look like victims. Drama! Drama! Drama! Keeps the series going and Kody satisfied.

  43. Basically if you are a bigamist you are legally married to multiple people- the marriages are actually legally void- but until someone catches you they have no way of knowing that since you have actual legal marriage licenses, certificates, etc.

    Polygamy- you aren't actually married but you say that you are. So its basically like you are LYING to people because you don't even have the void marriage certificate to back it up. "We have four wives." No, no you don't. You idiot, Kody. I will actually say that Kody just says he is married when it is convenient or he wants attention. He doesn't even try to pretend that they are legally his wives- they are just his "spiritual" wives. "I am Janelle's husband today because Janelle is the only wife that got paid from a job in four years." "I am not Christine's husband today because she just filed for bankruptcy. However, I will take possession of all of the items she purchased with the credit card that she is now unable to pay." Scam. Scam. And more scam.

  44. Thanks Sisters Martyrs,

    Thanks for the link and info. Well then in the least they should be able to get him for fraud don't you think?

    All that cheating the state for food stamps and assistance really bothers me. You'd think in the LEAST now that Kody is making some money from TLC that the state of Utah should be able to get some BACK PAY for the money they gave the women as they said they did not KNOW the father of their children in order to get the assistance. I think in THIS case it would be WORTH the state going after them. Shake that TLC money outa them and press charges against the women who LIED and Kody who benefited from it. I'm sure he KNEW what they were doing and even encouraged it.

  45. Maybe this is the reason Christine is on antidepressants. Maybe the state of Utah really DOES have a case against her.

  46. Another great one, Cynical! On the "ick" factor, I'm thinking it's a toss up for me between the "questionable" moaning Robyn was doing during labor and the shot of Kody stroking Robyn's inner thigh. Put them together and you have some soft core porn my friends! lol

  47. When I started watching this show, I thought as an Athiest Buddist, I was the only one that saw what a mess this was..What an opposite depiction they are actually protraying..until my "prophet" sent Cynical JInx, MIsterSister, and the rest of you. Thanks everyone! This show has been total entertainment and this blog has been a relaxing release to both read and post on. I hope in my next life I have multiply husbands....who dont just want me...but want my lifestyle too lolololol

  48. Piliocolobus, you are welcome! I definitely think the Browns are worth chasing down. Ironically, they say they are doing the show to "go public and make people aware." Well, I think they are making people aware alright. What a slap in the face- "na na na na na... we really pulled the wool over your eyes! our creditors ain't getting paid and now we are making $75,000 a week on our awesome show!" I would think that this has to be some form of fraud. They are using their "unmarried-ness" as a veil to protect them from the law- but living like they are "married." Best way to demonstrate this is to find out what Christine spent all of that credit card money on- I think it is pretty safe to assume that she was doing shopping for the entire brood. Honestly, my disgust with these people is really starting to steam over because they keep PRETENDING that they are so wonderful and are trying to illicit sympathy for people that "misunderstand" them. Being someone who never misses paying any bill of any sort- even if it means I can't go to the consignment shop and buy an old dresser this week- they are repulsive to me.

  49. Was Solomon what they named the golden uterus? If i was Christine and my falopian tubes were treated with such disrespect, i would be on pills too !

  50. I too was shocked to hear how close Meri had become close to Robyn. I hope we do not have to go through another season of Robyn being pregnant because I won't be able to watch it again.
    I LOVED that look Robyn gave Janelle after that "I'm not getting up for a baby" comment. lol

    Piliocolobus: Who mentioned that Meri's child looked like Janelle's? I do not see it here or on TV.

  51. why shocked? from what i understand...doesnt the 1st wife get extra celestrial points for bringing in a newbie?

  52. when ur salvation is on the line, everything u do is for planet points

  53. Kody's golden locks will look great next to George Jetson's boring do...hahaha i love this blog

  54. Sister Martyrs, I love the way you think!

    If they could all get married legally, in the same fashion they are spiritually, The Browns would all be responsible for debts and financial ruin. No, they don't want a legal group marriage. That would totally wreck their scam.

    Ok, Christine's picture is getting clearer. She stayed at home to raise all the kids. She assumed the bankruptcy and got the public assistance so at least one wife could be at home all the time. But all the financial catastrophes were hers alone. What did she get in exchange? The position as Extra Special Wife who got most of Kody's attention (the two of them are so similar it's weird.)

    Now we can see why the intrusion of Robyn is killing Christine. It would be near impossible for her to get her life in order after not working for so long and her financial history. She can't leave. She can't fight the rise of Robyn. She is stuck. And she lost her Extra Special Wife Tiara.

    Meri only has one child. She can up and stay with relatives (if she comes to her senses and dumps that dope Kody.) Meri and Mariah wouldn't be much of an intrusion on a relative while they get it together.

    Janelle has worked. She's professional. She can work again. She hasn't ever declared bankruptcy (that we know of.) For her, the transition away from Kody and SWs would go the easiest.

    Poor Christine. She really has no other option but to stick around and beg for crumbs from Kody's table. She can't cart 6 kids around. She has no real work history. She has her debt history following her around. I'd recommend she try a PT job, hostessing at Red Lobster or something, to get her mojo back and a sense of power. As it is, she must feel like she is living in quick sand. Christine was conned into this family situation, though she will never admit it. She will defend polygamy to the death but it's made her life unsustainable.

  55. I posted this earlier but I think it belongs here:

    I have come to the conclusion that in order for polygamy to "work", the sister wives have to be added within the first couple of years of marriage (like the first 3 Brown wives), before the children are born. Or, in old age when no one is able to reproduce anymore and all the kids have left home, for company in old age. I felt really really sorry for that couple from Utah, the friends of the Browns who were convinced that the principle is true and they have to live it, but they looked so sad. I think if they do add on a wife, it will be sadness all around: the husband seemed reluctant and yet determined at the same time, and really guilty. They obviously are very much in love. So he would feel the guilt of spending every other night with another woman, probably thinking about how wife number 1 is feeling alone in their bed. The wife will feel betrayed, no matter what she tells herself that her religion requires this of her. And what a blow to the ego. And the second wife will have low self esteem as well, knowing full well that she is joining what was a very happy couple, and will certainly feel that she is second choice. Sad sad sad. I think over the years Meri has grown jaded, and is now enjoying her "me time". This was obvious in how she seemed worn out when Brianna and Isabel moved in with her temporarily.... I don't think she will leave the family just because I think she is comfortable. Christine, despite being "Polygamy Royalty" seemed to have the most issues with polygamy, interestingly enough. I could see her leaving. Janelle I think enjoyed all the perks of polygamy the most of the 3, until things got shook up by Robyn. And Robyn is simply....annoying. I feel the adults were all hypocrites with their teenaged children: they all seem like good kids, whose world was turned upside down by the move, They are sooo unhappy in Vegas. The parents want them to adapt, and yet, freak out they will influenced by their new friends, introduced to new ideas...... so you want them to fit in, or not? Someone once wrote a while back: the Browns poked a sleeping dog and now they're surprised it growled at them. Exactly.

  56. Thank you, plot! And you bring up an excellent point that I had overlooked... Christine really is beholden to that idiot because she doesn't have a sturdy leg to stand on. This really adds another element of fuel to the Crazy Eyes fire. Not only does he manipulate the system and make them believe that their spiritual salvation is dependent on him, but he has manipulated Christine into a situation where she doesn't even have the credit to rent her own apartment. From what we know- it seems Christine's situation and ability to leave is the most precarious. You are right, she needs to go out and secure a part time job or something. Robyn is now stuck at home with the King, she can take care of adorable little Truely for a few hours each week. The real scary/creepy part is though- Kody would never allow it. And if he did, I am sure he would collect all of the money to put in a central pot "for the family." It is kind of depressing/scary/disgusting. And since they aren't actually married, she can't divorce him and get any sort of alimony or property distribution from any savings he might have. She WOULD be entitled to child support though. She/ ALL OF THEM SHOULD hit him up now while he is still getting paid by TLC. DO IT!

  57. Sister Martrys,

    ITA SOMEONE should be able to get them for fraud, The State of Utah (for fraud on the welfare papers), The Credit company (for their fraud when she filed bankruptcy saying she was a single mom and had no one to help support her), THE FEDERAL government for FRAUD ALL AROUND!!!!!! Christine I hope you are reading this, you may need to pop some more of those anti-anxiety/depression pills because THEY ARE ON TO YOU!!!!!!!

    Oh and RollerSkateGirl the likeness of Meri's child to Janelle is in this thread...by Anon12:28 PM November 29, 2011

  58. Great review!!! I just LOVE this blog =) I am a non mormon that lives in Salt Lake and polygamists are in just about every neighborhood...have a house on my street as a matter of fact...BUT one thing I have to comment on is that I found it soooo creepy and somewhat disturbing that Robyn's dad or stepdad or whatever was there lurking around the entire birth process. Where was her mother?? Maybe her step daddie has a honeymoon experience with Robyn as well as her momma...just sayin. WEIRD!!

  59. Oh and another thing... I think that Kody and Christine look WAY too much alike....

  60. Sister Martyrs and Plot and everyone else,

    I disagree on one point.... Christine CAN get out... She can seek help from a women's advocacy group and probono women's lawyer. As long as she wants to get OUT of this UNHEALTHY "marriage" where Kody has PRESSURED her to do things like go out and LIE to the state to get state welfare funds, to Run UP a BILL that she COULDN'T PAY that went to support ALL the women and children and most importantly FURNISH KODY with a SPORTS car and THREE other women. She COULD get OUT with help from a women's advocacy group and probono women's lawyer but she would have to be SERIOUS in WANTING to get out.

    THEY would help her get out and on her own two feet. They would help to start the process of Christine rebuilding her self confidence and respect.

    After that the SKY's the limit! I'm telling ya ITA that they ALL should kick Kody where it HURTS.... his WALLET and his FREEDOM. Every ONE of them the women, the children could get out... I mean who WOULDN'T buy a Tell ALL book written by the women and the children? At least if they HONESTLY sought to FREE themselves from that Sick Scumbag Kody.

    *deep breath* I feel a little better now. But I would feel even BETTER if those women would get OUT of that unhealthy situation. They could ALL be STRONG women and NOT on anti-anxiety/depression meds or EATING Peanut Butter Karo Sryup With EXTRA Sugar Fritos!

  61. Piliocolobus,

    Point well taken. They all have options, good options, you are right. I am getting more and more disgusted though by the fact that while it is hysterical to poke fun of that boob Kody, he really, truly is making his best effort to strip these women of any dignity. That being said, time for these ladies to smarten up. In particular, Christine.

  62. One more thing. This is really starting to remind of the Gosselin situation. I remember that it was funny at first to make fun of Kate but then it started getting actually perturbing thinking of how horrid these people (Kate and Kody) actually are. (New show idea- "K&K plus 25"- synopsis: two parents with 25 children show how inept they are at actually parenting and try to swindle the system and viewers to maintain their ridiculous lifestyles).

  63. "I mean who WOULDN'T buy a Tell ALL book written by the women and the children?"

    Not to mention the income from a movie rights deal based on the book. Could be very lucrative at least as a start to rebuild.

    Realistically though, the only one I see with any innate tools for survival to get out of this mess on their own is *Janelle.*
    Even with the extra weight, she has by far the nicest face. If she dropped even 20-30 lbs, she would be a serious force and regain her self-confidence.
    She wouldn't have to settle for Kody krumbs since it is also very clear that mentally, she is the brightest bulb in the pack.

    Even most of her older children seem to be 'thinkers' with perspective, with some logic. Logan is hers too, but he seems to be caught at times between thinking he is supposed to echo his father with SW verbiage, and then trying to figure out who he really wants to be.
    Hunter may turn out to be the wisest one on the bunch.

    I do think Janelle would do okay on her own. Actually more than okay !
    I think her presence and influence on her children would stand them well if they all broke away from this crazy life of chaos and scamming.

    One last thought that has bugged me from the beginning:
    Its one thing when wife #2 and wife #3 were apparently constantly in competition to keep the cribs filled...
    It must have been "I am pregnant"..."well I am too"..etc.!!
    And but for Meri's physical problems, she would have been in that baby race too.
    Just look at the ages..most all have an "age-twin" from the other wife.

    All fine and dandy when the kids were infants and toddlers and young kids. What did they know except that we have three mommies and lots of kids.

    But now, there are teens, teens who are certainly not unaware that dear ol dad is having sex with *whomever* on any given night to keep the babies coming.
    They sure as hell have to know poignantly that if 'Dad is here in our house tonight..there will be sex.'
    These kids have that thrust in their faces..."Oh, it's Mom's night tonight to do...."

    BIG ICK factor on that !!!

  64. navyMum -

    Robyn was raised with ties to the Jessups. I think she married one. They are a whole different (perverted) ball of wax to Kon-Boy Kody. All the Celestial authority belongs to men. Their children are part of their spiritual harvest. Robyn's father was probably there to bless his male grandson as a living priest and future god. Women? They are empty vessels to be filled by men.

    Hard to say what is up with Robyn. Her baby whine and childish mispronunciations might be because she was raised in an environment where women don't really grow up or have any authority. Yeah, her demeanor and voice are often an indication of childhood abuse, but that's not really our call to make.

    I've read that a lot of polygamous wives are taught to refuse their children affection or comfort them since it interferes with their relationship with their (mostly absent) father/gods. Maybe Robyn's voice is just an echo of a lost, hurt child who never got mothered properly but was taught to do whatever to took to gain daddy's love.

  65. Plot,
    RE: "I've read that a lot of polygamous wives are taught to refuse their children affection or comfort them since it interferes with their relationship with their (mostly absent) father/gods. Maybe Robyn's voice is just an echo of a lost, hurt child who never got mothered properly but was taught to do whatever to took to gain daddy's love."

    That's really sad. ... Thanks for the info. That is REALLY just so sad.

  66. I'm so glad the kids are in public school. They probably hear alot about what other kids' parents think of their situation. They also are getting a chance to learn about nutrition. If I remember right, Hunter and Madison were grilling chicken breasts in a pan for supper the same night Janelle was snacking on the fritos. I'm glad Janelle had healthier food for them to choose.

    Let's not forget the sex ed part of school. The risks of unprotected sex with a man with four other women is just disgusting. I'm not even talking about normal STD's here, but bacterial infections, yeast infections, and normal flu and cold stuff that are transmitted through bodily fluids. Am I the only one who has thought how gross it is that Kody could make love to one wife in the morning after he has showered for the day and then hop to the next woman's bed while forgetting to shower his equipment again?

  67. you know, I don't know what it is about Christine, but she comes across as the most "plyg" of the bunch, there is something compoundy about her. Maybe because she was a stay at home mom for 17 years, who knows? Janelle's kids are by far the most independent thinkers. Logan may have sw delusions, but he is, after all, the firstborn AND a son, so who knows. The other Janelle kids seem to be "over it " (the lifestyle)Mariah has definitely drunk the coolaid. I've been really fascinated with the polygamous mormon sects for a while now, and I've come to the conclusion that the Browns may have been picked because they are the best looking bunch: so far, in all the documentaries I've seen about polygamous families, most of the time the women were attractive (like the Dargers) or sometimes not, but ALL of the featured husbands were pretty icky! (Mr Darger, some of the dads in Centennial Park, from the YFZ ranch, from Hilldale) so judging just by what's been shown on tv, by plyg standards Kody is real catch!

  68. Philo... (and others discussing the bigamy laws)

    Not to confuse you more, but it appears that Utah doesn't follow the MPC provision on bigamy. According to Utah's code, the following is their statute on bigamy: “A person is guilty of bigamy when, knowing he has a husband or wife, the person purports to marry another person or cohabits with another person." Bigamy in UT is classified as a felony.

    The state has a separate statute concerning child polygamy- which explains (legally) how UT can go after polygamy with children but ignore it when it's adults only- they enforce a separate statute, rather than enforcing the same statute differently.

    Interestingly enough for a state with Utah's background, their statute muddles the distinction between bigamy and polygamy. Bigamy is the act of having multiple legally-recognized marriages whereas polygamy is the practice of having multiple marriage-like relationships (cohabitating, etc.)

    (And in case you're interested, the MPC wasn't drafted until 1962. Utah's multiple-marriage law has probably been on the books much longer than that, and never updated.)

  69. Lindsey:
    "I'm not even talking about normal STD's here, but bacterial infections, yeast infections, and normal flu and cold stuff that are transmitted through bodily fluids. Am I the only one who has thought how gross it is that Kody could make love to one wife in the morning after he has showered for the day and then hop to the next woman's bed while forgetting to shower his equipment again?"

    YES! I've made a similar point earlier on! So gross!!!!

  70. OMG. Anono 5:10 PM November 29, 2011

    RE: "Not to confuse you more, but it appears that Utah doesn't follow the MPC provision on bigamy. According to Utah's code, the following is their statute on bigamy: “A person is guilty of bigamy when, knowing he has a husband or wife, the person purports to marry another person or cohabits with another person." Bigamy in UT is classified as a felony.

    The state has a separate statute concerning child polygamy- which explains (legally) how UT can go after polygamy with children but ignore it when it's adults only- they enforce a separate statute, rather than enforcing the same statute differently."

    Thanks for the info. Well then for The State of Utah NOT to go after The Browns then that looks REALLY bad to me. Like the law..., THEIR law means NOTHING.

  71. Dear Piliocolobus,
    Thank you for pointing that posting for me. I totally did not see it earlier today.
    Now, I will be watching that episode again to look closer at Meriah's face. ;)

  72. RollerSkateGirl,

    I was as shocked as you by that post. I mean I guess I was thinking it all along but never put a voice to it. I am curious what others with better memories can point out. DID Kody say..., as I seem to remember that he regretted Meri having a home birth because of complications? And DID as I also seem to remember he say something like..., it was hard having BOTH women give birth so close together?

    Wouldn't it be sad if Meri is infertile BECAUSE of a home birth and that.... Oh I don't even want to say it.

  73. If I may quote Sister Martyrs...this line almost made me choke on my own laughter....

    WORST moment of the show- "I'm touching him!" As Kody reaches his hands into Robyn's loins.

    Agreed, that was "ewwwwww" times a frillion.

    Two things: Did anyone notice what was written on Paedon's shirt on the pic of him and Dayton? I think all the Brown kids should sport one of those, including Truely and Solomon.

    Also - I've been watching this show since the beginning and I didn't even realize there WAS a Paedon until this episode. Since the show tends to focus heavily on the older gaggle of kids - and Robyn - I guess I'm kind of clueless about all those kids in the middle. But it's okay - Kody probably is, too.

  74. ok- feel so bad that I didn't comment on the creepy "I'm touching him" scene. I still feel a bit queasy. Was it weird to anyone else that her father filmed it??? I mean, call me traditional, but I don't want my dad down low with a video of my hoo hoo. It's just wrong on so many levels..... vomit.

    Also- wth was that frito mess? I thought it was peanut brittle? Maybe I was halicunating and wanted some pb brittle myself?

    Now, just my rationale, but seems kinda logical that you are an expert in the business you try to open.... not sure they are really "qualified?" I certainly wouln't want Christine as my trainer- no dig- she trys.. for god's sake, she was in lobor and her baby daddy was off kissing some new chick. I would have punching him in the face the second he walked in the hospital and shoved that car up his a$$.

    Another thing, how in the hell can these people get food stamps, file bankruptcy and just act like it's no big deal? Didn't crazy jaw Robyn have over 1k in Victora Secret debt? I've seen enough of her bod- don't even want to envision that in a thong! again, vomit.

    Lastly, is robyn had the Kodster and Mary's kid, would it live with her a third of the time like Daddy?????
    There are so many things wrong with this show- beyond that shaggy, ratty, badling head of Kody's. "I'm touching him......" vomit

  75. Polygamy (for the wives) is like cancer treatment. It hurts terribly, but you do it anyway because you think it is the only way you can be saved / healed.

    CJ - you ROCK! As a Canadian I thank you for helping us. As a SW Blog reader, I need to send you my dry-cleaning bill (need dry pants now).

  76. Laura K: are you referring to "question authority" tee? Yes! I agree.

    Also, referring to the same scene- did anyone notice the eating a popsicle on way to school thing? Definitely a "fundamental fitness" moment.

  77. Our Commenters are the best!!! Thanks to those that share! I think some of you should be writing every now and then for us!

  78. last thought..... someone keep me straight. Kody's dad is married to HIS bio mom and Janelle's Mom??/
    Isn't Janelle's ex-husband Meri's brother?
    Where the hell did christine come from?
    Wasn't Robyn living w her mom until the show started filming and moved into an apt for "the show?" Are her parent's divorced? I didn't see her mom down and out filming the birth like daddy, which makes me think they may not be together?
    Geez- this gets creepier and creepier

  79. Christine was an Allred, so was Kody's mom.
    We have several comments on their genealogy, but lord knows where! U have done theirs and it's crazy. I may put it up someday!

  80. MS- love the blog

    i obviously have too much time on my hands.... make sure you look at the scene in Robyn's bed room where they show the pic with Robyn and Kody with his car. Seriously, youre 40..... it's a 10 year old car and it appears to be an engagement pic. enough said. i think that's grounds for divorce- wait, their not married.

  81. I'm sure whatever fan sent the pack and play just LOVED seeing her kick it around and not even mention that it was a gift. LOVELY of her! NOT!!

  82. Kody appeared much more involved with the children when they lived in Utah. Since Vegas he is more concerned with making sure we all know how much he has to "house hop." I would love to see him more involved with the kids, but with the wives admitting their jealousies now, he has to work really hard at keeping them "happy". And as someone said in a much earlier blog post, how can these parents tell their children they can choose not to live this religion/lifestyle which inherently tells them, "ok you do what you want, but if you DON'T - you won't be seeing us in heaven..." That's quite a heavy burden to place on these kids. I like this family but struggle to understand how the adult women don't see all the wrong/injustice in this sect.

  83. Did anyone else feel the hair on the back of their neck stand on end when all the sister wives were at lunch discussing how Kody can make a woman in labor feel blissful with his incredible coaching skills? They came just short of saying that gazing into Kody's eyes makes birthing a baby feel like floating on a cloud of love. I found that very weird and unsettling. However, it didn't stop me from rewinding the DVR so I could watch it again.

    I can't imagine all of them sitting together on their couch watching this episode on tv. Watching your "husband" gaze lovingly at his fourth wife's lady parts would send me screaming for the hills.

  84. IS this AUB group aware that this family is an example of how it does NOT work? How can an oraganized group have such poor leadership.. yeah the family is cashing in now, but shouldnt the "higher ups" be more concerned with the long term plan
    So i know Kody says i cant ask...but here i go....what about the sex people? What happens when physically this cant be maintained? Is sex never discussed between them? What are these women being told about the sex side of this lifestyle? love this blog!

  85. With all the *this one is related to that one spread sheet info coming out*...at what point do you have a "religion" that has thoroughly polluted and shrunk its existing gene pool?

    Yes, indeed, Brown family.....
    This whole "we just wanted to show who we are" has been a rousing success.
    Well, we do KNOW who you are now. We get it !!
    The Internet is a wonder......so much info to learn about you all.

    Speaking of that, took a brief stroll over to the TLC SW chat...OMG !!!
    Warning: Make cause insulin shock.

    The fawning and adoring going on over there is really disturbing.
    No wonder there is that PT Barnum circus quote....."There is a sucker born every minute"
    No wonder scammers are so successful.

    The posts over there make you question if some folks really shouldn't be allowed out by themselves.

  86. C'mon Janelle.lose all the weight..get sexy...tell TLC you will do a spin off show if they help you leave. The whole promise of a planet thing....c'mon..even if we give you that side of the argument... You could be kick ass enough to have your own planet!

  87. S said...
    "Frankly you all make me sick."

    I hope you feel better, hon!

  88. Look...Robyn is back ! hahaha

  89. so Christine goes on and on about how Kody shouldn't have a favorite.....and then Meri admits that Robyn is her favorite sister wife.... hmmmmm.....

  90. S - For starters, they aren't "genuine". They tell the veiwers that they get by with coupons. In reality, they take turns building up debt and then one of them claims bankruptcy. If that is how "genuine" people act, I'd hate to see what you call a snake.

  91. someone has thier long white undies in a twist. yep....Robyn is nice AND a viable uterus.

  92. ohhh, peeps.... you sign up for a *reality show* and you expose your life. You get paid for it- expect criticism. if you don't want to be criticized, you shouldn't put your crazy antics on tv. enough said

  93. I googled Robyn Brown is annoying, and it landed me here. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so.

    I only watched one episode of the first season and at that time, I found Christine to be the most annoying, of course that was before Robyn came into the picture.

    I have only seen one episode of the first season and I watched all of season 3, but is it me or has Meri gained a lot of weight since the first season?

  94. welcome Anon 8:19 ....you'll be hooked here like the rest of us!

  95. Dont just come here to read Cynical or MisterSister....come here because you want our whole lifestyle.....lolololol....ok, Cynical...i think i love your reviews so much that im having jealously issues....i promise to do better

  96. "I LOVE them. They are real and genuine."

    So are bankruptcies and fraudulent food stamp scams, debt avoidance and mis-representations to the government "real"......!!!

  97. I can't tell - is "S" being ironically sarcastic?
    If so, she is hilarious!!

    "It is great to see genuine loving people on Tv for once instead of SEX NAKED SEX all the time. Evil, dark humor all of it is despicable. And it contributes to our world going down hill."

    The only thing evil, dark and despicable is a religion that teaches women their salvation has everything to do with their husband and nothing to do with Christ.

    THAT, my friend S, not this blog, is what contributes to our world going downhill.

  98. OMG, so many good posts, I can't repeat them all. You all make me laugh.

    We have lives and are not always sitting here moderating.
    The SWB Mantra I am sure has been burned into the regulars heads by now. "You may be pro or con... no name calling to another poster... blah blah blah.

    I have to say, you all are learning (when we aren't here to delete spam) handle these not so ice folks with grace and charm, ad the best dose HUMOR. I about peed my pants when I read.....8:04, 8:05, 8:15.
    I have a new Mantra....

    DEAR PRO BROWN COMMENTERS. If you are sincere about loving the Browns, why don't you get WISE about how you post? So many of you have pretty great posts speaking of what you like abt. the Browns...then you ruin it by attacking other commenters! THAT is why you get deleted. It's a rule, (read side notes.) Then you run back to your little spots and say we censor the positives, that's not true.
    Also, FYI, you show by badmouthing the commenters, you are no better than any of us-- looks where your own mouth led!

  99. lol, you mean "S" wasn't being facetious? oops.

  100. Well said Mister Sister. I keep reminding people who complain about the things they see online...there is a little red button with a white X in the center. If you push it, everything online that is annoying you will go away. Promise!! People have the choice of where they go online...and..*mock gasp* I guarantee that no one in a uniform will show up at your house in the dead of night to arrest you if you chose to close down a page that annoys you, rather than flame. In the immortal words..."Can't we all just get along?"

  101. SisterMIster....aloha...im 8:o5 and 8:15...i will try to post with a name now....now that im hooked on intelligent life discussing the disadvantages to having too many women and too many children. Glad i made you laugh...this blog has caused me many of wet pants...and your wise words to all us bloggers....well put!

  102. Hunter is by far the smartest of those kids. He's even teaching us new words. Like Johnny Appleseed.

  103. I hope the pro-Brown posters learn to follow the rules so that their posts can stand. I'm ready to hear their defense of people who have more children than they can afford, and then depend of food stamps, bankruptcy and gaming the system to get by.

    And somebody tell me, if there are planets out there that where the men get to be gods why wasn't this in the Bible in the first place? Why did it take 1800 years after Jesus before mankind was told about this part of the hereafter?

  104. hi y'all! finally got to come to my warm fuzzy spot.... and it's not on Robyn's thigh!
    I wasn't sure if I watched a birth... or an FLDS sex scene... the way he said lowly I see the head... like it was turning him on sexually actually made me sick.
    Am I the lone ranger in thinking it was really weird? Robyn has a baby and doesn't Even look at it for awhile. Could it be, she's already seen it?XD
    Cynical Jinx. You make me laugh out loud, and that's hard to do!!!!!!!!
    Can't wait for #2. Glad to be with intelligent beings. If any regulars are gone to long from this blog-we need to start looking at the FB page Kody-Brown Family.
    Why? Because over there, they have not only "drank the Kool Aid" they have also washed in the amniotic fluid, rubs the legs of the queen, and I am sure... thought about taking a turn on the stick pony they all share by now.

  105. Serena, very good point. It's all blasphemy and false prophecy. Joseph Smith started it, and there's plenty here about him, if you haven't seen it. Crazy. They WANT you to buy into how it's ok- NOT telling you the crazy real stuff. If those women can't keep their act together about jealousy and live together, and get pd. a cool buck for doing it, can you imagine how bad it really is?

    Come on!
    Go Cinny, Go cinny co SWB go!
    Teach the folks that Christianity is the way to go!
    Jesus not Joseph Smith walked the earth for our sins,
    And God not your husband will take you to the heavens!

    Hey, I'm no writer, but you get my point!

  106. Reading comments on these post there is constant referance to another "more positive" blog.. I love this blog and although I think that not everything written here is constructive criticism.... Anyway, I tried googeling for it, but can't come up with anything. Anyone care to share the url for this other blog?

  107. What am i jealous of ? As MuffinTop indicated...no one of the pro camp is talking...as far as answering questions...and the Browns? They are not presenting me with a stairway to the stars....or planets...whatever....Old Lady....the bible says a donkey talked and people used to live to be 400....if their "theology" was in the bible..it wouldnt be any more creditble with me.

  108. Anon 10:04- You have the hots for the Kodster. Thats it, right?

  109. Anon 10:04...what do they inspire you to do?

  110. OMG Vastminds 8:o5, 8:15 and 9:33... I think I have wet pants now to! :O

    And I ain't taking no donkey to heaven! I ain't riding on the back of no Kodster!

    LOL You Are TOOOO funny!!!!!

  111. Thats riiiiight. Where is Cyncial at while im presenting MY lifestyle....oh yeah...shes busy writing the best damn material of her SWB career. This blog has been a blast to read from afar....yes, i have been watching the show....hope everyone is ready for a ......Vastmind...hahaha

  112. Jealous huh? Let's see share chemistry with 4 other people on a regular basis,
    Stuff your feelings with mind altering drugs and and copius amounts of food Become morbidly obese ( poor old meri is packing these days)
    And look like a sausage, run scams with food stamps,
    Bankruptcy etc. Oh yeah I am real jelous where do I sign up.

  113. ok. Once again.
    For those of you that are PRO Browns, LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR.
    This is all one post, I will break it down for you. The Brown Pro group seems to need some "special" education.

    Anonymous said...
    ""Personally I think ya'll are just a bunch of jealous haters!""


    ""Kody and his wives are AWESOME and inspiring! When Robyn offered to be Meri's surrogate that was BEAUTIFUL!""


    ""If you don't like the show shut your mouth and turn the dang channel! There are tons of us who LOVE this show and these people! I'm not of their faith but I can still respect it!!""

    Hey Anonymous,
    We could say the same, if you don't like our blog, CLICK the LITTLE WHITE X as our readers told you. Thanks for stopping by, you all come back now, y hear?? But before you do, please learn to 1. respect others 2. take your own advice 3.learn if you really like the Browns, you need to take debates (last I knew this was America) 4. Talk to your friends, they all can't seem to grasp the rules either.


  114. Vastminds... that bit about Cynical, LOVED IT!
    What a great way to compliment her.

  115. Mr. Sister.
    You know I am anti Browns
    You taught me to respect others opinions that were pro.
    You (all) work endlessly to we ALL can enjoy, learn, teach, and have good ole fun together.

    You've had the patience of Job.

    You've even commented you wish that their were more positive folks on here.

    So, like a kid sitting in class when their favorite teacher is losing it; Can I laugh out loud at watching you trying to stay cool!!!LOL

    Most for us would not be so FAIR to a group that can't get their act together.

    I seriously laughed out loud, wondering if you face was red and you had that forced smile on while typing this! hahahahhahaha

    Pro Browns, give the gal a break. Write them up nice or get out of MY FUCKING SANDBOX, I DON'T HAVE TO BE AS NICE!

  116. MisterSister...It would have been more "celestrial" to stay calm. Really. If we are the intelligent ones....straight questions usually send empty claims running for hungry ears. This group has yet to explain....and doesnt seem interested in conversations with us not interested in thier "work". That being said....thanks for yelling them away...it keeps room on my screen while im multi-tasking

  117. Mister Sister, Cynical and Crew,

    If we are really, really good..do we get a watch?
    (with extra watchbands too, pretty please?)

  118. Anon 11:09 ---- thanks, another pair of wet pants

  119. LOL Drita69 *snicker* *snort* :D Stop tickling me funny bone! ;-P LOL Kody is that YOU touching my leg??? :O I am NOT I repeat NOT having your baby so DON'T go THERE!!!!!! ;-P

    Trying for the fourth time to post. WHY can't I post?


  120. I know that tomorrow is the "Birth" post, but I am going to be gone.

    Did anyone else notice the quick change in Robyn's attire? Went from that nightgown, to the gray whatever when she was nursing, back to the nightgown again and then to the gray get-up. Bad editing. I thought I had seen some stuff like that before, but I erase them after a few watches, so can't point out any other goofs.

  121. Aony. 11:09 - Dang!

    I've been working on a joke for that topic! I guess I might as well post to see if others can make one, too!

    Vastminds, Welcome! I can tell you are going to be fun!
    You might understand my post more if you had been in our little home here longer. We seriously have been patient, kind, even bending over some...(I had my Kody protector on JIC)

    But enough if enough! I want the folks that like the Browns to feel this is their home too, that they may express their opinions without being attacked....yet they clearly can't get the concept they have to follow the rules too.

    Philo - try posting again, you can simple put test, lets see if you still have problems!

  122. Cherie,

    Didn't you recognize them...
    Those two ensembles were from the Victoria's Secret Birthing Lingerie line.

    Robyn has quite an eclectic collection of VS....$1,000 worth.

  123. Cherie, yes we did. Editing may be a post of it's own. We couldn't of asked the Reality show Gods for a better one for snark!

  124. I dont want a watch....i want a pampered chef cassarole dish. (make sure to put Meri or Robyn in the box)

  125. "Teach the folks that Christianity is the way to go!"

    This comment makes me really uncomfortable. I don't mean to be that person but I am Jewish and this makes me feel unwelcome in even commenting here among 'regulars'

  126. L4J
    No one wants you to feel that way.
    I am sure the poster would not either.
    Maybe if you realize that we all talk from our own point of view get excited- try to join in the conversation - I thinks that's what was happening.
    If you make a joke that refers to the Jewish religion, I wouldn't be offended even though I am not.

    Everyone here is completely frustrated with watching 4 beautiful women tell us how happy they are, while watching them painfully suffer makes us all joke when really, much of it otherwise is painful.

    Like my joke on the Caption this!
    It's probably a vent. I had hopes Christine (who is KNEE DEEP) in the religion, would one day find her own voice. She came close.. Even talked of not wanting to be there...........
    Nothing changed, she BLAMED HERSELF! It does makes me angry. I was rooting for her!

    Let's face it, this is a blog, we snark. Don't take it personal.

  127. Oh my goodness I almost wish these posts weren't being deleted so I could get a good chuckle. All the good stuff happens while I'm asleep!

    A lot of people made so many intelligent comments on polygamy and the image the Brown's present on their show. I recently read everything my library had to offer on the topic of fundamental Mormon polygamy (exactly 3.5 books, so it wasn't a huge undertaking) and from what I can tell the Brown's really may be the best of the bunch. It seems to be typical that a wife may work with the husband's approval, but all income will be directed to him. In many of these families the wives are given an "allowance" to spend even if they are working. That's one way the men exert their control. If she can't get any savings going because she has to buy groceries with her allowance she can't leave.

    Now I can't say I think that Mariah (Meri's daughter) might belong to Janelle biologically, but this is another fundamentalist trick; clearly children are important and help pave the way to godhood according to this belief system, so what happens when kids aren't happening because the man is infertile? Someone else will give you children is what! Like I said, I don't know if this happened for the Brown's but in the FLDS it's common practice. "Uncle Fred" Jessop was a very important Bishop within the FLDS community and he was unable to have children. So Uncle Fred's brother (Flora Jessop's father) just gave Uncle Fred some of his daughters. These women were forced to give up their daughters from birth and given them to another family to raise because Uncle Fred had to get in to heaven. Just like having "spiritual wives" the man just had spiritual kids, near 100 of them according to Flora Jessop's book. That's another way the men in these sects exercise complete control. "You...give me your baby, Uncle Fred needs it! You can just have another one!" What kind of intense emotional abuse is that?!?! Ultimately I think it's not out of the question that Kody could force his wives to share their biological children for the salvation of the other wife.

  128. I think there must be a word limit lol. Blogger always puts stuff in Japanese so I have no idea what it said. Part 2:

    Another thought I had is that as I've learned about this topic the Brown's family "wreath" really isn't even that convoluted for a polygamist family. someone (I cannot remember who) was outraged that someone would suggest that Kody could later marry Robyn's older daughters. I'm not as certain about AUB (there's much less dirt on them so far) but in the FLDS and other sects (who, let's not skirt the issue, are really VERY close to the AUB for all of their denials of Warren Jeffs) men marry their stepdaughters with an alarming frequency. In the book "Under the Banner of Heaven" Krakauer interviews a woman who has somehow managed to become her own step-grandmother. I think she marries her stepmother's (mom's sisterwife) father. All in all the Brown's may claim to be far removed from Jeffs and his craziness, but I don't believe they can be. The number of "high power" last names like Allred and Jessop indicate that they are right in the thick of things. It was a Jessop boy who murdered Christine's grandfather. Now, they all breed like crazy, so it could be distant relationships, but I'd like to see them provide a family tree before I believe it. Anways, men marrying women who are related to themselves or one of their previous wives is very common and yet another way the men can subjugate these women. Imagine how mentally exhausted you'd be trying to compete with your daughter for your husband's affection. It happens in polygamy.

    Here's another thing that I can't remember if we've really answered yet....Does the AUB follow the teaching that sex can ONLY be used to procreate? If so, then realistically Kody was probably down to just Christine to sleep with if A) Meri is infertile B) Robyn is pregnant and C) I think Janelle is beyond the point of more children. I don't imagine this is happening, but I'm just curious if there are rules about this in AUB or not.

    Just thought of yet another point that someone mentioned above: In all the books written by escape wives (about FLDS of course, not AUB) the women write about how physical affection is completely discouraged between mothers and children. After Caroline Jessop escaped her husband she had to reteach herself how to hug her children. IMHO this illustrates yet again that men will use any technique necessary to control their families. If you were a 1 child in, oh let's say 17, and you never recieved physical affection then you'll most likely be mentally damaged enough as a female to be pushed in to a plural marriage where you also will not recieve affection. As a boy you'll be taught that your word is LITERALLY the word of god and you don't need a woman. She needs you!

    Ultimately even thougth the Brown's may be the best that polygamy has to offer the "outside world" I think we can still see that they are showing all the behaviors and mindsets that make their cult so dangerous to them as individuals and to our societ as a whole! I hope people who love the Brown's will just do their research and learn about the other side of the story!

  129. One correction: It was a LeBaron and not a Jessop that murdered Rulon Allred.

  130. Thanks for an entertaining blog! I like the mixture of humor and hard questions.

    Does anyone else see the basic problem with the AUB/FLDS religion? Suppose everyone in the world converted to it. Wouldn't there be too many men to support polygamy? It would not be sustainable.

    I know FLDS runs young boys off the compound (Lost Boys of Utah) so as they won't compete with the older men. Shouldn't a true religion want to keep their youth in the faith?

    Just sayin'.

  131. Hey above,
    Troy Bowles had written some interesting stuff on that very topic in here somewhere.

  132. OMG day ahead, baby giving away? They are old testament. WOW!

    Mariah does not look like Meri

  133. I came across something that states there was a Morris Jessop who was an apostle in charge at one point (in the 70s, I think) in Pinesdale, where Robyn is from..... Hmmmm. And here's a business idea for the Brown family: forget the fitness business, for which you are all wrong: you should all become midwives and give home birthing classes. THAT'S what you have the most experience with anyway!

  134. Good Morning Vietnam! oops Meant Cynical Jinx!
    (doing my best Robin Williams impression)

    I am happy now. Great way to start the day. Those little shits I teach should thank you!! lol

  135. Captivating Review.
    Seriously, it was so spot on I was glued...and even surprised!

    Flipping that Modest is Hottest was a SCREAM!!!!
    That seriously was the sickest weirdest show.

    Maybe being in labor is sexual to them. The only time you would have your husband alone would be sex and labor. I bet it's true! They look forward to the attention. Now that is some sad shit.

    How can a woman cry all the time and not cry then?

  136. Kody can feel the head!!!November 30, 2011 at 7:38 AM

    Isn't it pathetic how Robyn wants all these "teens" to make a big boo boo over this baby?
    Brilliant, Robyn. DON'T stay out of their business by the frontal lobe thing, THEN expect them to want to baby sit? How stupid is that?

    I know many saw this and have forgot to mention it.
    To me, it was HORRIBLE sad that Dayton was disappointed that he didn't look like him. Then everyone carrying on about it being a Brown baby probably really made him feel great!

    I am soooo glad I am not the only one that heard a sexual overtone in the whole thing, esp. when Kody said, I'm touching his head.
    Good God. That was sickening.
    AND what a faked out/shot twice/mess.
    TLC Couldn't you have gotten 2 of the same gown? GEEZZZZZZ


    Cynical, I can't WAIT to read PART 2!!!!!!!
    This is tooo goood!

  138. Um... Meri didn't have sister wives when Mariah was born.

  139. Sue- Yes she did. Mariah was not even the firstborn. Johnny Appleseed (Janelle's son) was.

  140. These kids were born into the family with the 3 moms already in place, so it's what they know as normal. I don't think they would have thought much of their dad having sex with the other mom, just like regular kids don't really dwell on their parents having sex either. But having Robyn join the family 17 years later, when half the kids are now of the age that they know what sex is, and some being at an age that they can now 'group-court", of course the topic of their dad and sex will be on the the forefront of their minds, and how gross is that when you are a teenager? Especially when the new mom is 10, 12 years younger than your dad, almost 10 years younger than their mom(s), is hotter and in better shape than their moms and sounds like an immature yet know-it-all, holier-than-thou TEENAGER who is now tying to mother them? No wonder Hunter is uncomfortable around her! I think it was Janelle who said earlier on how each group of siblings secretly thought their mom was Kody's favorite, and I can see if the kids are secretly resentful of Robyn usurping their mom's position.

  141. Ya Meri wasn't the first to have children. My question is, were the sister wives, back maybe 16 or 17 years ago all pregnant at the same time? Look at the ages of Mariah, Madison and Aspyn?? they are all 16 or 17 by now, just curious.

  142. Gosh, someone more in tune with each age can help with this. I know the 3 ladies were pregnant at the same time with I believe Mariah, Maddie, and?? Mykelti or Aspyn, whichever came first!
    Like they came days apart..crazy

  143. I think some perception needs to be shared here. I am someone who grew up in Utah, joined the LDS faith (not the fundamentalist), and have personally witnessed the on-goings of the church in the state.

    The LDS religion basically rules the state. There really is no division of church and state in Utah. The LDS religion has tried to cover its past from polygamy. In doing so, they try and squash every polygamous family out. Their children are taught contempt for those lifestyles.

    Trust me when I say that even if they weren't in some fraudulent situations the state would be after them. Utah does not turn a blind eye to polygamous on-goings. They just have to tread carefully as to not create situations where the federal government wouldn't side with them. The Utah mentality is all about making examples out of any person who steps out of line.

    "Mormons" want every association with polygamy and the religion removed. Having a show about sister wives puts them a step back and puts the whole state under scrutiny. Which, trust me, the way that state is run, they don't want.

    All these hypothesis about what Christine has done is unnecessary if you really understand the state they came from. I guarantee you illegals have done worse damages to the system than the Browns have.

  144. Anon 1:23 -

    I beg to differ. Utah, the state of LDS, has mostly ignored the polygamy problem. It has tried, unsuccessfully, to sweep it under the rug and pretend it doesn't exist.

    Far from taking on the problem head-on, the regular LDS doesn't want to expose it's polygamous origins (or the nature of it's polygamous god) to the world. What they want to avoid is a public arguement over the early tenets of their religion, which favors the FLDS in a big way.

    The LDS considers itself the spiritual descendents of the Hebrews, and Joseph Smith intended polygamy to be a core of the religion (to be like King David, Solomon, Abraham, etc.) It's not that difficult to find the original scripture on line. There is really no wiggle room for the mainstream LDS. The text is all there, for the world to see.

    There has been much secular journalism done on the refusal of Utah/LDS to prosecute polygamists. You should look into it.

    Utah is NOT fighting the Feds on this! Utah is essentially ignoring the problem.

    My brother's best friend did his residency in SLC. He treated an enormous number of hidden polygamist women, coming to his office surrounded by kids, claiming the support of the state and no husband. Yet they all wore garments, at least, and often full prairie dress.

    Even in investigating the whole welfare fraud industry, Utah has been deficient. Texas, Arizona, Oregan and New Mexico have done far more to investigate the "bleed the beast" phenomena in polygamous societies.

    You have to know, being from Utah, that pyramid schemes abound there. Pyramid schemes are outright PROTECTED by Utah legislation. It brings in more cash than tourism. This essentially makes Utah the fraud capital of the USA. It's especially rampant in the polygamy communities where only one member takes all the risks, takes out the credit necessary, and then simply declares bankruptcy when things sour.

    An unattached women with 6-10 children on Medicare who defaults on maxed credit cards (the funds which were used to start family scams) is not going to be sent to prison in Utah. Polygamists count on this and use it with impunity.

  145. Am I the only one that thinks Robyn is actually a bit unstable? I DO think that she was just as interested in the wives as in Kody. I get the vibe that she is actually attracted to the gals.

    I don't think she is honest. She said she never had baby rooms when she was married to her first husband...not even a crib. Where did the baby sleep, in a desk drawer? Also, then what in the world did she charge up so high at Target?

    I think she has some obsessive tendencies which were reflected in those high debts. They will be played out in other ways, just wait and see. She likes to shop, and isn't much of a housekeeper; and she does not seem at all interested in her children, except to use them to gain sympathy. They are having trouble adjusting and her solution is to move them OUT?! Wow. How cold is that? We can see they are brats, they act out, but man, who wouldn't when you have been through all those poor kids have been through in their lifetime? They are truly the biggest victims in this whole circus.