REVIEW! S03Ep09 : College Bound Browns

Yay! Brown Family road trip - well, not quite a road trip, and not all the Browns are going. I better warn you up front. This episode was obviously scripted and was extremely annoying.  Having to endure the hand picked students and their less than challenging questions was annoying. Anytime Robyn opened her mouth was annoying. Better add Christine and Janelle to that list, too. And yet again, Warren Jeffs makes an appearance, and Robyn fake sobbing how much she hates him was...well...fake. And annoying. Jeffs should really demand to be placed on TLC's payroll.

But let's get to the review, shall we?

First scene of the episode, we see Kody's sports car parked in front of Janelle's house. As the

camera moves inside, we see Kody sitting, like a wild haired Jabba the Hut on his throne, calling

Meri. We know it's Meri because we can see her picture on the phone as Kody/Jabba touches it to

dial her. When she answers, Kody/Jabba says "Hey Lover, what ya doing?" What a jerk.

We find out that Kody, a very pregnant Robyn, his other wives and their four oldest teenage children

are packing to go to Boston. They will be the guest speakers for a panel discussion with a group of

academics and students that Rev. Danielle arranged. Hey, Rev Danielle not only looks like Sarah

Silverman, she sounds like her too. Oh yeah, and while they are there, the teens will also tour some

colleges, too.

Once again, Kody expresses concern that they will be compared to Warren Jeffs. Kody, we get it
that you and your Krew are different. Warren Jeffs had millions of dollars at his disposal, you have
finite resources. Warren Jeffs controlled thousands of followers, you can barely control your Krew.
But I do see a major similarity. Warren Jeffs ran from the law. And so did you. Must be a
fundamentalist thing.

Now Kody is picking up some clothes from Christine's house. Christine is trying too hard to be light
hearted and funny. Kody's not buying her enthusiasm and basically turns his back to her and walks
out of the room while she's showing him a dress. Nice, Kody.

Something is definitely up with Christine. Her demeanor is just too forced. And during the couch
interview, was she sporting a black eye? While role-playing questions with Aspyn, Christine said
"they are going to ask you if you want to live in a plural marriage and you're gonna say..." When
Aspyn replied "...Not right now!" Shocked, Christine asked "why not?"  Aspyn simply replied
"...because I don't want to."

OUCH! I mean I'm with Aspyn. We the audience already know this crap is scripted, but to show them rehearsing the script is a bit much. So thank you Aspyn!  If we only see a snippet of Christine's behavior, can you imagine having to live with her 24/7/365? No wonder Ysabel wanted to stay with Meri!


I really didn't need to see Kody/Peter Cottontail hippity hoppity his way from room to room
collecting card keys from his wives. Talk about controlling. Why would he need the card keys to their room?
 And I gagged when that damn Robyn said "He's our husband" and then Meri chirps right behind her
"he gets to have access". I'm thinking, have these women lost their minds? I know Kody has. When
he says "I live in all their houses, I'm going to live in all their hotel rooms" , all I can think is why do
these women put up with that fool?


I wonder if the teens had their own rooms or shared with their mothers. I'm betting they stayed with
their respective mother. And if Kody decided he wanted to have his way with a wife (he IS their
husband after all, and gets to have access, if you know what I mean) where would the teens go?
Now that's a hard one! To Robyn's room? I don't THINK so! It's so apparent Kody stayed with current
baby mama Robyn while in Boston. She WAS the only wife there without a teen, ya know.

 And before we leave this subject, what's the deal with needing to write the room number and first
letter of his wife's name on each card key? Even though Kody claims he used a "code" it was pretty
damn easy to figure out what the code was. What an idiot!  Kody drops the card key on the 8th floor. I pick up the card key and see the number 24. I wonder if it works on the door for room 824? Let's try it - well, what do you know!



LMAO!! Nice one Logan - totally dissed Christine when he said Rev Danielle was cute and bubbly
like Christine, only  really really smart. I mean, Logan, come on. That was kind of a mean thing to
say, true, but still mean.

Looks like we're back to Rev Danielle, as she collects the Browns at their hotel and takes them out to dinner. She brings along some of her "students". And wow, how they represent the typical college student! You would think Rev Danielle could have found a more diverse group, but we are dealing with the Browns. For all their "We are tolerant" blah blah blah, you only need to see  the "type" of people they surround themselves with in real life along with their obsessive need for only positive thoughts to understand that a gay guy, a girl with frizzy hair,  a girl with a Hispanic surname (she is now a close family friend according to my source Antoinette La Taupe), a girl who's a graduate student, and a "fellow" from Harvard with an intense stare is about as diverse as these people can take.

The teens partake of some icy creamy goodness with their new college friends.

Christine missed seeing this sign.

Plimoth Plantation was interesting enough, but Christine getting upset when her Christianity was questioned was a bit overdone. It was almost as if she truly believed the woman she was trying to argue with was actually a real 17th century pilgrim. I'm telling you, there is something seriously wrong with Christine!

The lady on the right dared to question Christine's Christianity when Christine reminded her that Kody has four wives.

Future Sister Wife #5

The college tour was interesting. Who would've thunk it that Kody didn't go to college? And he said he
feels like a dope. Hey Kody, guess what? You ARE a dope.

But enough Kody bashing for now.

Surprisingly, Kody wants his children "to go into the world with  open minds and big goals and big

dreams."  He would be very happy if they chose to  attend a big school back east instead of a state college in Utah. Luckily for Kody, his children are more realistic, particularly Logan who apparently understands that it costs money to go to an elite school, and that his family simply doesn't have the means to pay.

You know, part of me feels this segment was a big plea for money from viewers to help send the Brown teens to college. No doubt some fan will be setting up a college fund soon.

But what was really interesting, was when Madison and Mariah both said they wanted to move back to Lehi and live in their old house while attending college. So apparently Kody is paying rent for 4 houses in

Vegas AND the mortgage for the Lehi house. Are these people crazy?

I thought this panel discussion would be held at one of the universities. You know, a place where
college students congregate.  But it was in a conference room at the Hynes Convention Center. And
it looked like the room was maybe at best 70-80% full. And why does Kody need to wear that gosh
awful brown blazer on interviews? It's sad when the Browns are dressed better in the picture on the

poster outside the conference room than they are in real life. Kody and the original 3 wives as well

as Mariah and Aspyn need a wardrobe makeover, NOW. 

Future Sister Wife # 6 (gotta love that tattoo!)

Robyn faux crying over Warren Jeffs AGAIN!

Poor Kody. He's afraid that the audience is going to be mean. That someone will say "You guys are liars", "Kody Brown you are a misogynist" "You are controlling these women".This scares poor Kody! Just look at his eyes!

Guess what? Kody you ARE a liar. What's the true story why you left Lehi?  If the law was after you, wouldn't they have extradited you by now? You haven't even been indicted yet!  And didn't your lawyer tell the news media that you and family left Utah for better job opportunities? So yeah, sounds like somebody's a liar to me.

You ARE a misogynist, Kody.  Anyone who would call his legal wife while in the home of his "second wife", and when the legal wife answers the phone say "Hey Lover, what ya doing?" you're not showing love and you have absolutely no respect for either women in your life. Grow up, you jerk.

You ARE controlling. Do you remember when Christine initially said she didn't want to leave Utah,
you asked her what part of "We are leaving Utah" did she not understand? Or, maybe you remember
on the road to Vegas when Christine told you the children in her car were hungry and wanted to eat and you refused to let the kids eat? I rest my case.


I hope the good questions were left on the cutting room floor because, damn, if that's the best
Harvard and Tufts students can do, something's wrong with those school's admission standards. 
Maybe those "sharks" Robyn was talking about ate the students with the good questions.  And Kody, if you seriously believe that moving to Vegas was the best choice out of the choices you had, you are truly the King of the Dopes.


So that was the end of the Browns trip to Boston. So long sycophantic reverend friend and your
hand picked students. So long Tufts and Harvard University. So long Boston -  the Browns have left
the state!