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Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Review Sister Wives S06 Ep06: Robyn's Secret

What the hell was Robyn thinking?
Robyn feeling "vulnerable"
What the hell was Kody thinking?

What the HELL was TLC thinking?

There. I got that off my ample chest.

Before I start my abbreviated review (in homage to the 22 minute runtime of last Sunday's episode), I want to take everyone on a Sister Wive's inspired flashback of Robyn and her "chastity". You know, the purity that keeps on rejuvenating itself.



Here's Christine in the hospital, calling Kody to let him know her water just broke and to get to the hospital ASAP. Remember that Robyn and Kody are still in the "courting" phase of their relationship.



Here's Robyn with Kody in her rented Lehi house,  as he gets the phone call from Christine that she's about to give birth.



Notice how Robyn runs after Kody as he dramatically leaves her rental house for the hospital.


 
See how she slams her door shut on the cameraman, but forgets the mikes she and Kody wears are "hot".

Unfortunately, I can't play the audio for you, but it consists of a lot of giggles from Kody and Robyn and what sounds like slurpy kisses.






As the cameraman opens the door, we see Kody  grabbing Robyn and saying those immortal words "You caught me kissing my girlfriend while my wife is in labor" or words to that effect.



He then lays a big juicy kiss on her lips. Again, apparently for the benefit of the cameraman. We find out later that, in their religion, courting couples are not allowed to kiss until they are married. At least according to Christine, that's how it should be done. And she was born and raised in polygamy.

Just an example of Chastity and Purity, Kody and Robyn style.



And as we will soon find out, this has not been Robyn's first time at the "rodeo", if you know what I mean...

But first, let's talk about the Church of Kody.

Now that the Browns have moved into their brand new McMansions, Kody has decided it was time to showcase one of his Sunday sermons.

It's painfully obvious how seldom Kody holds services. Everyone looked bored. The boys had their feet on the furniture while they gazed mindlessly into their cellphones. That Kody had to repeatedly tell his children to pay attention to him drove home the realization this guy is not a compelling public speaker.

In fact, my mind kept wandering to Michael Cawley, of Polygamy, USA. He certainly didn't have to tell his children to keep their feet off the furniture, or to pay attention and not check out social media while he was sermonizing.

But there was one thing dead on similar between the two fundamentalists: their choice of topic. For Cawley, it was a discussion of how women in monogamy were condemning their daughters to be harlots in the streets. For Kody, it was asking his fourth wife Robyn to talk about a time in her life when she actually WAS a monogamist harlot, married to a man from a  "well regarded" polygamist family .

Small polygamist world, isn't it?

Now, I realize that the topic of Robyn's testimony has been thoroughly dissected here on SWB. So I'm just going to summarize the highlights. A random man begged Robyn for her purity, which she gladly gave him. When he later broke her heart, (symbolized by Robyn taking what looked like a metal heart tied with ribbon and ceremoniously dumping it onto the poop colored carpeting)  she was distraught. But never fear. Her Knight in shiny Kody armour arrived and showed her true love. Her purity was rejuvenated and she and her 3 children from her previous marriage lived happily ever after in a big McMansion in Las Vegas.

Here is where I have to call out Robyn on her BS story. Yes, you that read it correctly.

You see, Robyn continued her little sermon be saying a tenet of her faith was that men and women have to be chaste before marriage. That was her message to the teenage Browns. But wait, let's go back to my flashback earlier. According to Christine, her religion's idea of chastity extends to no kissing between a man and woman who is not his WIFE. But lo and behold, that's not what happened with Kody and Robyn. They were sucking face (and Lord knows what else) long before they ever got married.

Robyn looking contrite when Kody spilt the beans about her dress
Is it just me seeing a pattern of behavior here? And who believes she talked about her lack of sexual restraint to Kody and wives prior to their courting? Look, we're talking the same woman who thought her future sisterwives didn't need to know she asked Kody to choose her wedding dress - and blamed Kody for opening his mouth saying he should have just kept it shut.

So I suppose we can chalk this up to that old saying...Do as I say, Not as I do. Which is convenient because it turns out her big secret was...she got pregnant before marriage. Unfortunately, due to her limited communication skills, her message kind of came out screwy.

Luckily, through the miracle of social media, we can kind of see what she meant.  Well, at least we can see her backpedaling her way through the crap she caused by haphazardly telling millions of viewers worldwide about something that should have remained private within her family.


 But wait, seven minutes later you say you regret your children weren't sired by Kody.

I am sooooo confused!!!

I'm going to call this the Kody is My Soul Mate Theory, which would explain how her 3 existing children would be miraculously transformed into Kody Brown offspring by having his Brown DNA destroying the Jessop DNA from their bodies. Of course, they will look different, but that's beside the point.

Anyway. as proof of  how successful her sermon in the McMansion was, her favorite bonus child Hunter  said "... Honestly, I don't think there's something wrong with [having premarital sex] if you're in a committed relationship with someone you actually love."

Perhaps he has formed that opinion from seeing his mother in a committed relationship with a married man. Hmmmm.....


 Taking yet another cue from HBO's Big Love, Kody decides he wants to bury a time capsule in their compound's backyard.

Of course, the children put in toys, and pictures. I think Savanah's was the most meaningful - a picture of her house being built. Some of the other children opted to place toys, perhaps not understanding that by the time they would see that toy again, they would be sophomores in high school.



I couldn't help but giggle at Meri's items. It was a  necklace from MSWC and a "thank you for shopping at MSWC" photo, sitting on top of what could be all those backordered items customers were complaining about. Well, that's one way to get rid of them, right?






Let's just hope they remember where Kody dug that hole and not cover it with tons of concrete when they put in a sidewalk or something between Meri's and Robyn's McMansions.





Okay, just some odds and ends I noticed from this episode.

Robyn did say she left home for Montana when she was nineteen, but she didn't say she got married at nineteen. Which means she had a prolonged period of unchasteness and should have been burned at the stake. Or at least used some form of birth control. Like abstinence, for example. Oh wait, he BEGGED for it. Never mind.



I'm not feeling the love between the Browns and their production company any more. For example, in the above scene, the voice over was Robyn talking about her purity issues (or lack thereof). At first the scene was compelling - Meri appeared to be consoling a distraught Mariah by rubbing her back, and Ysabel looked like she was about to cry.

The only problem is, look who's in the lower right hand corner of the frame. Why it's Robyn!  You know, if Robyn's talking at the front of the room, how can she simultaneously be seated in the audience? Couldn't the production company's editor find some other film clip to use?

Oh wait, we're talking Robyn, so anything is possible, right?

229 comments:

  1. Spot On, CJ....Spot On !!

    There is so much BS going in here that even extra strength 3-ply Charmin couldn't make a dent.

    They don't care how lame and phony it all comes off.
    Their bottom line is, and always has been, keep the show going no matter what!!
    No matter what it costs in credibility or how it impacts their collective dignity.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am very late to the party, since I only discovered the reruns of season 1 and 2 this summer. I am thrilled to find this blog!

    It isn't related to this topic, but one of the things I have noticed is how unhealthy and unhappy all the sister wives look, especially Meri and Robyn.

    I mean, they live exactly the lifestyle they claim they want to have, they have four brand new huge houses, a bunch of healthy and adorable and well mannered children, probably a lot of cash to spend on healthy food and plenty of time to exercise and indulge in any kind of hobby. They all should be just glowing! Like people look after a long yoga pass: rosy cheeked, relaxed, happy.

    And what I see is four overweight women with pasty skin and black rings under their eyes, looking distraught and more like they are enduring rather than enjoying their lives.

    I just don't get it and I don't for a minute buy that they are soooo happy. Happy people don't look that way and if any of my friends started to look and behave like any of the sister wives, I would have a long talk with them and ask what was wrong.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I have thought the same thing! Every season they seem to look unhappier. I don't want to bash anyone about their weight, but Mary and Mariah have especially gotten heavier, and seems sadder.
      I am like you, I think for all they have and for living the life they say they want to live....none of them seem very happy.

      Delete
    2. I totally agree! They look more and more drained in every episode. I don't care what these ladies say, the stress has got to get to them Think about it:
      Sharing your husband, no jobs, lots of small children (laundry, meals, diapers, etc), no money, running up bills, in great debt, & unhealthy. They ALL are unhappy!!! I cannot imagine such a life--I do not believe that this is what they all wanted. Religion or not, I could never handle the jealousy.....

      Delete
  3. Great detective work! I figure they were crying because the kodester wouldn't stop with the "the husband is gawd" sermon. Brilliant analysis, by the way.

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  4. I totally laughed when Robin dropped the metal heart on to the carpeting and stood there looking oh so sad, as she looked down at it and lamented about the beggar for her purity. Reminded me of a bad night of improv at a local downtown park.

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  5. Poor Christine! No wonder she didn't like Robyn at the beginning. I wouldn't place all the blame on her though. Kody was a willing participant.

    Although it has become clear through the show that they are more like four separate families with the same husband than one big family. I found that the most striking thing when I saw the home tours was that each wife had so many pictures of just her and Kody, or just her and Kody and her kids. There weren't that many pictures hanging of the whole family.

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    1. I feel bad for Christine too. I would have been so mad if I saw a picture of my husband kissing another woman while I was giving birth to our baby!!

      And they don't look like a combined family. It sseems like each wife pretend the other families don't exist.

      I just cannot get my head around why anyone would think plural marriage is a good idea, and this group of people doesn't do one single thing to make it plausible.

      Delete
    2. Poor Christine, this is the first I am seeing those still shots from the time she went into labor and Kody & Robyn kissing at the door. Wow. Sometimes I forget the topic of this show, but this brings it home again.

      Sharon

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  6. CJ, good job with checking the frames and finding Robyn's photo appearing to be watching herself talking. The editing of this thing is awful. I wonder if the kids were even present when Robyn was talking. I hope not, but that does not mean that they will not hear about this and eventually watch this show.

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    Replies
    1. I agree. Magnificent!!! Bravo!!! I am so loving this!

      Delete
  7. I don't think there is very much on this show that is real. It all seems contrived and staged.

    By the way if you want to see extended footage of what everyone put in the time capsule it is on the tlc sister wives website.

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  8. I only THINK I watch this show -- never noticed that little bit of dreadful editing w/Robyn sitting there when she is supposed be up front crying about stale cookies. Excellent and sharp catch!!

    the production, writing and editing is very poor. Makes me wonder if this show is produced and edited by a group of dyslexic teens doing a high school project.

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  9. Is this what Robyn handed Kody after she smashed her purity heart on the ugly brown carpet?
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/lanierbasenberg/390749281/

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  10. I'm shocked that Kody lets the kids use any electronics during his church service. I realize the kids are bored, but weren't all of us bored as kids when we were dragged off to church?

    Kody you need to stop that, get a clue! It's disrespectful of the whole idea behind a church service whether it's in your home or an actual church building.

    I realize they don't have the best role models in the world, but respect for other's beliefs and opinions is something everyone should be taught.

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    Replies
    1. well I'm sure this footage will have all their AUB "friends" along with the Centennial Park folks who commute to LV to actually work and support their families just FLOCKING to congregate and hear Kody's brilliant sermons on the Mount of the Cuddle Sac. um. not.

      Delete
    2. I agree Funkytown. If I even got caught drawing a doodle on the church bulletin I was in big trouble. I probably didn't even realize I was doing it,but I was punished none the less. Here in the south,that's considered disrespectful in every denomination.

      Delete
  11. Sad for Christine all over again. I only hope I live long enough to hear reports of wife #5 coming on board. Would love to see that little trollop Sobbyn get some much deserved payback for her friggin smug attitude. After her performance during Sunday service this week we now know with absolute certainty Koduche is just into her for her skinny bod. She proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, she's got no brain.

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    Replies
    1. Kody is no intellectual himself, so maybe they are completely compatible. I can see them having deep conversations about how great he is, ummm, and hair products, ummm, and how awesome he is, ummmm, and purrity, and stuff...

      Delete
  12. Brilliant as always Cynical Jinx. How this woman can't see the hypocrisy of her ways, or expects that we won't see the hypocrisy, is beyond me. If my husband was ever out kissing a girlfriend while I was in labor, I would remove his "priesthood" with my bare hands.

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    1. Sister BlisterWifeAugust 28, 2013 at 2:06 PM

      WELL SAID, Plysburgh!!!

      (Great name too)

      Delete
    2. Plysburgh,well said!! You made me laugh out loud.

      Delete
  13. Great review as always! I find it completely ironic that people who don't play by society's rules, have such staunch views of sexuality. To them it is perfectly FINE that Kody is having sex with four different women at the same time. Yet, a woman that engages in premarital sex is doomed! Are you kidding me? It is always the people who proclaim to live by such high-minded and rigid rules that are the ones that are doing the freakiest things. Always.

    I would like to think that the Browns who bemoan being "judged" or "not accepted for who they are" would be a little more open-minded and nonjudgmental. How utterly hypocritical: "Accept us and our alternative, adulterous life style but women who engage in premarital sex are making the worst decision ever." Give me a break!

    Amy

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    1. I couldn't agree more!!!! Well stated!

      Delete
    2. Exactly!! Why is Kody getting to sit there having been in a sexual relationship with 4 women and it's okay??
      I bet polygamist men just love the women who fall for that lifestyle, while
      the rest of us feel sorry for them and wish someone could help them with
      their self-esteem.
      I have a feeling the majority of their kids won't live that lifestyle so that right there is a good indicator of it not being all the pretend it is!

      Delete
  14. Having read everything thus far, it now appears that Robyn was indeed pregnant with her son when she got married as her son was born in January---not Wikipedia's March---so her story is true in that regard.

    Not being Mormon or Fundamentalist Mormon or AUB, I am not sure what EXACTLY the Browns mean by "purity" or re-gaining it. If they mean one can sincerely repent of a sin and be forgiven by God, then, "yes" that is what God is all about. If they mean a physical restoration of "purity"---well, no, unless they have some medical evidence to back it up---which I'm sure they do not.

    Having said all that, I just cannot fathom a parent telling a child that they wish someone else had been that child's other biological parent. Because, as another blogger pointed out, then that child would not BE that child---the child would be someone completely different based on DNA. That Robyn and the rest of the Browns cannot see this, or refuse to see it, is incomprehensible.

    Having worked in family law (although not in Montana or Nevada), if Mr. Jessop has unsupervised parenting time with his children (what used to be called "visitation" in my state)---which he does---then that would not have happened had there been any abuse insofar as the children are concerned. Marriages often (regrettably) do not work out as between the parents---but those same parents can still have great love for their children. Divorce decrees and parenting time orders in my state almost always have a non-disparagement clause in them---that neither parent is to disparage the other parent to the children or in front of the children. If they do, that is cause for contempt of court. I do not know what Robyn and Mr. Jessop have in their court orders---but disparaging the other parent to the point where you say---in public and repeatedly---that you wish someone else were the father/mother of your children is a terrible thing to do.

    Now may be the time for sincere repentance---privately to family and former spouse, first, then, publicly, after.

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    1. Mr. Spock (Go Star Trek), I couldn't agree with you more and appreciate you holding Robyn accountable. What about Kody with his sad eyes and deep concern as she was speaking? So she was some kind of victim for being with more than one partner when he is living this hypocritical life? Did anyone else take note of his lecture to the teenagers about kissing and how they should talk to him if they are doing so. Meanwhile he is on television kissing Robyn while his wife is in labor. Why wasn't he already at the hospital? I am most impressed by the teenagers on this show, especially Jenelle's kids. I work with children and they are always the truth behind what is going on in a family. I don't think these kids are buying this lifestyle but have bonded with each other to get through it and then get the heck out. This family is about sexual competition surrounding one narcissistic man with adult ADHD whom desperately needs a hair cut.

      Delete
  15. Of course, it's all about keeping the show going. This TLC show was a once in a lifetime opportunity and Kody knew this. The Browns have limited job skills and education, lousy budgeting skills, and too many children. This show is like winning the lottery for them. How else could these nitwits support themselves in grand style? If the family suffers a little from being televised, I'm sure they all justify it because TLC puts the food on the table.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thanks for another great review. I also think there are some holes in her story. If Robyn was married on June 26, 1999 (as per IMDb website) and Dayton was born March 7, 2000 that is only 8 months and 11 days after she was married. That would make her only about 3 weeks give or take a week pregnant when she got married. Most women don't even know they are pregnant at 3 weeks. Me thinks I smell a rat. . . .

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    1. I've no idea when Dayton was born, but MrSpock posted above at 10:04 AM and said:
      "Having read everything thus far, it now appears that Robyn was indeed pregnant with her son when she got married as her son was born in January---not Wikipedia's March---so her story is true in that regard."

      Now I'm really scratching my head. Admins, do you know when Dayton was really born?

      Delete
    2. I knew when I was that far along. To be fair though, we were trying to get pregnant so I was vigilant. Maybe she got preggers on purpose? Who knows.

      Delete
    3. We have gone over and over this in the previous thread, so you might want to post there if you want to discuss the Birthday-gate!LOL

      In a nutshell, here's what we know and what has transpired.

      Major sources had Dayton's birth date as March 7, 2000 until late last night. (someone has changed them to Jan.) This led to mass questioning if she had not made the story up of this transgression of hers.

      So we had a big discussion on wether or not she was indeed pregnant beforehand in the previous post.

      IF she got married on the date listed, and he indeed was born in Jan- obviously she was.
      Even I forgot the birthday scene with Meri and Dayton that was in Jan right before the moved.

      But what I am learning is to question anything they say. Since she lived in Y oming and MT, births and marriages are not easily findable on genealogy sites.
      At this point I would assume she was pregnant when married. I assume she or their camp originally put out the March 7 date to cover things.

      Delete
  17. Brilliant as usual CJ! I really laughed at "her limited communication skills". Perhaps that why she needed to enlist the use of a prop? Oh and because they wanted to sell more of their iconic jewelry.

    Off topic, I just went through my daughter's old closet upstairs and found the missing twin to Robyn's white headband. I don't know what to do with it! Bury it in the backyard? Burn it? Maybe I could order TS's jewelry pendents and glue them on it? Too many choices!

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    1. Kelly, my first thought was that I'd be happy to bedazzle it with jooolery pendants! But, I think that it should be immortalized somehow. Maybe keep it in a glass case for prosperity? Maybe it should be the modern-day version of a purity ring. Teenage girls everywhere could wear it to show how they still have their original cookies. After the purity-headband trend passes, you could have a celebratory time-capsule burying in the dirt yard behind your McMansion.

      Me...I would probably just glitterize it and wear it when we all meet in Las Vegas for our official SWB Convention. I'll have to reclaim my own purity in some sort of necklace destroying ceremony, and hope my dear hubby understands. Maybe I'll make him one too, and we can be re-pure together! For a day or so...

      Delete
    2. You should immediately put it into a time capsule. Then you can bury it and dig it up when a whole 5 years have gone by. If it is like Robyn's, it's iconic.

      Delete
  18. The thing that bothered me most is that it had to be hard on Robyn's kids to hear how their dad was the "biggest mistake of her life". I have 3 grown kids with my ex and although the marriage didn't work out, he's a human being who loves his kids just like I did.
    We co-grandparents our grandkids now and do just fine. I hope in doing this we are teaching our family that we are all human, and our lives change as the years go by and there is no point in looking back and thinking things in life were mistakes.
    I have no regrets, just lots of life experiences!

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    Replies
    1. I'm in my 60s.

      Back when I was in my 20s, I ran into my father at a store. He and my mother were divorced when I was so young that I only knew him from rare visits through my childhood. When I ran into him, he was with his then wife. Among other things, he asked me how my mother was doing. We chatted for a bit, and then exchanged phone numbers.

      When I got home, I called my mother to tell her I'd run into him. Her response was, "I'm not interested in hearing anything about him."

      So . . . what message did that send to me about my value as a person, that the woman who gave birth to me didn't even want to hear that the man with whom she had conceived me was even alive? It broke my heart. I felt like a big mistake.

      I feel so sorry for Robyn's oldest 3 kids. They - and their father - deserve better than comments like what she made.

      Delete
  19. Years ago, after we had split up, my ex husband took our sons with him for a visit to an old flame of his. The lady in question--who is now *ahem* a rode-hard-put-away-wet kinda gal--was married at this time.

    The three adults--my ex, the old flame, and the old flame's hubby--sat around chatting about old times and smoking like chimneys. After a smothering 1/2 hour or so, my 4 sons contrived a story that would allow them to go outside to escape the cigarette fug. It was cold outside and there was nothing to do, but they just hung around outside until my husband decided it was time to leave.

    On the drive home, my ex was teary and emotional. He said, "Boys, that woman could have been your mother."

    My sons told me this story years later (laughing about it) when they were young adults. They said that when their father said this, they all passed a look among themselves that read, in essence, "Cripes, we dodged a bullet there." Plus, you know, there's that whole thing with genetics.

    Robyn, honey, there are just some bells that can't be un-rung. You can throw a dozen lockets down on the living room carpet, but Kody wasn't your first and no amount of fairy-tale logic will make it so. Why not just hush up and enjoy your life NOW, instead of dramatizing your past? Making a desperate morality tale out of your relationship with your children's father IN FRONT OF THEM is just low. Don't do that to them, please. Janelle was married before Kody, but she refrains from blathering about it. Go ask her how she manages.

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    Replies
    1. This is a great post, redwood curtain. You have smart, insightful sons, and your last paragraph is spot-on.

      Thanks!

      Delete
    2. First and LastWifeAugust 28, 2013 at 1:18 PM

      This has to be the best comment I've read on here in a long time! Kudos for sharing this! Or should I say "Hyrums" :-)

      Delete
    3. i'd rather have a Kudo than a Hyrum. Hyrum lost his cute factor w/me real fast. He's got short legs in proportion (maybe why he has such disdain for little people??), he's not very bright and he's a chauvinistic douche. loves to party hardy on the booze, too. Anyway, I'm sure he's planning on his second wife being more of a hottie like his married kissin' cousin he's so enamored with. :)

      Delete
    4. I'm with you - never liked him. I see him & think organ grinder monkey. He does have a fantastic smile, I'll give him that.

      Delete
    5. Really great post Redwood Curtain!

      Sharon

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  20. I am curious as to whether Robin's kids went to Montana to sse their dad is the near the same place Kody grew up ?

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    Replies
    1. Actually Kody grew up in Lovell Wyoming.

      Delete
    2. I looked up the distance between Lovell and Pinesdale--448 miles. Also, read Troy Bowles autobiography that is on the internet. It tells about life in Pinesdale and sounds like life there is sort of similar to Centennial Park. Troy posts here sometimes. He indicates that Robyn's sister is married, unhappily, to another Jessop. Wonder if sister's home was Robyn's destination at age 19 and if that was where she met David?

      David may be rascal for all we know but he was the one seeking the divorce according to info offered on the blog. Sounds like Robyn was making him as miserable as she claims to have been. All her pity party stuff may be refusal to admit her own culpability for bad behavior in the marriage.

      Delete
  21. BRILLIANT CJ, JUST BRILLIANT! That is all. :)

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  22. I think they are running out of story lines. I bet they will have to bring in a fifth wife soon, or at least a woman for him to "court" (even if they don't go through with marriage) to keep the show rolling. Either that or have one of the kids start "courting".

    These poor women raised in this religion. I feel it was telling when Christine talked about how she had always wanted to be a third wife. What a thing to have been taught from birth, to dream of being third in line for your husband's affection!

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    1. I wouldn't mind a fifth wife. I just do not want to see them following one of the teens into a marriage and exploiting that relationship. I would love for the teens to have a happy married life (in a few short years), but I don't want them to bring the cameras into their new lives.

      Delete
    2. Robyn is probably trying to procreate as we speak! I would just like to say that regret is the biggest waste of time there is. Write that on a piece of your iconic crap joolery!

      Delete
  23. Great review as always. But, WTF is wrong with these people. Robin's biggest regret is that Kody is not the bio father of her 3 kids. A good mother would never say this to her kids. She really made her ex out to look like a rapist, abuser and bad man. Why does this man not speak out. Robin acts like Kody is God. Good grief, they all need help. I am on Team Nobody. They all let this happen. They all knew what Robin was going to say. These parents are irresponsible. For one thing, talking about sex to your kids should be age appropriate. Some of the little kids should not have been in the room. Why? What people will do to keep the TLC gravy train rolling. Full steam ahead. What I find hard to believe is that they have fans defending them. I bet Kody got the cookie long before their sealing ceremony. I will never consider the other 3 women wives. In my book they are mistresses that live next door to each other. Robin's tweets are so damn funny. She should just shut up.

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    Replies
    1. That's a whole 'nuther issue on twitter! By the way, thank you for having SWB on
      twitter.

      Delete
  24. Meri’s time capsule prayer (as told by the paw print decal on her car):
    Now I lay me down to sleep,
    I pray the Lord our back orders to keep.
    For if I die before I wake,
    I pray the Lord Janelle’s soul he take.
    Because I don’t like her.
    Ever.

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    Replies
    1. MsMaryaKilla, I had to go clean the bathrooms and laughed the whole time, came back and reread your poem and am still laughing. It's no wonder so many read this blog, it is our entertainment for the day.

      Delete
    2. Robyn's Prayer

      Now, as me and Kody lie down to 'sleep'
      I hope that he likes it when I weep.
      When I put on my headband after I wake,
      I'm just glad I'm too beautiful to bake!

      Delete
    3. Kody's Prayer
      I look in the mirror at my hair
      All my hair products create a glare
      It is so much fun to act like a child
      I can keep marrying wives since I am so fun and wild

      Delete
    4. Janelle's Prayer

      Now I lay me down to sleep,
      Laundry is on the bed in a great big heap.
      I really don't want to cookie the Mister,
      So please send him over to my sister.

      Delete
    5. Hilarious - all of you!

      Delete
    6. I Knock Hips With No OneAugust 28, 2013 at 4:00 PM

      Janelle's Prayer:
      Now I lay me down to eat
      my feelings since I'm keeping sweet
      my littlest kids now can tell
      Robyn's sexual history very well
      I bankrolled this family a decade strong
      but no one hears when I say SWC is wrong
      Maybe when Madison moves out and away
      she'll have a guest house where I can stay

      Delete
    7. These prayers are brilliant...I honestly can't stop laughing!

      Delete
    8. Christine's Prayer

      Now I lay me down to sleep,
      I pray a wet bar Meri keeps.
      Her skin is orange as if she fake bakes.
      I don't know how much more I can take.


      Delete
    9. My only child is far away.
      I polished up my bar today!
      I love to live like Gordon Gekko*
      in rooms so big they hold an echo.

      Now I rest my weary rear,
      the man I love is rarely here,
      but I’ll hold all my feelings back
      so I can share his cuddle-sac.

      *http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PF_iorX_MAw

      Delete
    10. I just watched "Blazing Saddles" over the weekend, and in my head have been "playing" with a SW-related ditty to the tune of "There was a Peaceful Town Called Rock Ridge..." but still haven't gotten it down. LOL

      Delete
  25. Lets remember that they kissed because they were already married, but lied and said they were courting just for the show. The other wives wished Roby a happy anniversary back in March or May. The "wedding" party took place around November, right?

    Who can believe a word from them anymore?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well if that's true, Christine seemed pretty righteously pissed off when she found out about the kissing en route to her delivery...and we all know that she isn't exactly an Oscar-caliber actress.

      Delete
    2. And in the repeat of the Confessions, Kody says he wants to know if the teens are kissing and they ask if the son is and he says yes/no and they all laugh.
      So, here is Christine, already been embarrassed by this issue and stated their beliefs on the subject. The rest of the family acts like this is no big deal.
      Since Robyn and Kody kissed, did the rules change?
      I have a friend in this sect and the rules are very strict. Broken, yes, but never acknowledged.

      Delete
    3. i would imagine Kody's a huge and disrespected joke amongst all the teens. He doesn't really know any of them and they witness his ineptness in juggling all their respective mom's relationships, too. (other than Princess Mariah, daughter of Queen Meri, who still gets one-on-one special treatment w/him that none of the others do.) it's why we ALWAYS feel sorry for the kids in this mess and hope none of them continue on in this highly dysfunctional and emotionally unhealthy belief system.

      Delete
  26. There has been another woman in the last two episodes, does anyone know who she is? Maybe a girlfriend of Logan or a cousin or something?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I remember correctly that's Sobbin's sister.

      Delete
    2. it's actually her step-sister. they don't share a common bio father nor mother. and her stepsister's bio plyg dad and robyn's mother are divorced. lots of divorces in the "happy valley" of plygdom!

      Delete
  27. Also, one more thing, the fact that Robyn as a mommy is willing to degrade her children and their biological father (her ex-husband) makes me think of that song "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias, she apparently thinks of Kody as her hero. With his ego I almost feel like she felt she was forced to say what she said about her children, their conception, and her previous marriage. He needs to know that since he loves *her* the most out of all the wives she loves him more then any previous people, period. It's such a dog and pony show it makes me sick. Dayun (hehehe) and the rest of Robyn's "children" will be seeking counseling or turning themselves into ego maniacs as adults. GOOD PARENTING ROBYN - TWO THUMBS UP.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I actually agree with Hunter. If you are committed to each other, then what's the big deal? I get the judgment from others in the sect, but if you're religious then you understand you only have one entity to answer to. Not sure why she put herself through this. Why not just own it and say: "Look, I thought I was in love. I was wrong. It's important to let the love grow first. I know that now, and I hope you do too.". It's an important talk to give girls, especially if all the sex education they are getting is "stay pure". But are we telling boys to stay pure, and not to pressure the girl they love, or is this all about the hymen? News flash: some people don't even have a hymen, but it isn't because they were carnal. And I mean that as a criticism to all religions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She did it because it was part of the pre planned story line. They are so transparent and desperate. I'm now wondering exactly how low they'll go.

      Delete
  29. ...I'm gobsmacked. You mean they lied about courting when they were really married? They LIED? On SISTERWIVES?!

    The question becomes: Did Robyn's sisterwives wish her a happy anniversary on twitter to throw her under the bus?

    ReplyDelete
  30. A few questions/observations:

    1) Why did TLC cut the show to 30 mins only to showthe last year's q & a? It's a re run. Don't think I've seen them do that before.

    2) Next week's q &.a undoubtedly signals the.end of the season. Meri's baby decision is the.cliffhanger? Yawn

    3) The Browns will infortunately have lots of material for next.season with the death of Kody's brother and father. I just hope these deaths are not exploited for ratings. :-(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "I just hope these deaths are not exploited for ratings. :-("

      No doubt if they can find a tasteful way to exploit them, they will.
      Wait for it.

      Delete
    2. They have had half-hour shows in the past. that means we only get 14 minutes of "new" material, usually. and whoooo hoooo another Q&A - anyone want to put dibs on what questions are going to be asked and NOT answered? Sex questions of course...

      oh i'm sure it's all going to be the same boring ass questions and whitebread answers. with lots of flash backs and flash forwards and stupid dramatic music cuts - like we saw this past week when they kept showing Kody digging and suddenly jerking up (with the musical "bang"!) over and over and over and over again...making sure to flip his hair while he did so.

      Delete
    3. As far as the family passings, I would HOPE that the rest of the family - Curtis' and Winn's legal spouses and other family members - have a say in how much Kody and Krew can capitalize on their deaths, especially since I'm guessing that none of rest of the family receives any benefit from the TLC money.

      And just remembering...back a season or two ago when Kody was thinking (if you want to call it that) out loud about how to finance the McMansions and said something about having his dad mortgage the ranch...all I can say is I hope his dad had the foresight to protect what are now his wife's assets (or should be anyway).

      Delete
    4. I have always assumed the 'have Dad mortgage the ranch' was a joke betwen Kody and whichever brother he was talking to. From the snippets of the 'ranch' and Janelle's Mom's house that we saw, I got the impression that there was no money to speak of there. Remember how the older boys pitched in to paint Janelle's Moms house? It can't be worth much.

      Delete
    5. Isn't most of the Brown ranch located on US government land? I have a feeling what land is owned by the family is not worth more than $300000, definitely not worth enough to mortgage to pay for almost two million dollars worth of houses.

      Delete
    6. Any property he had was put into Double Dollar IRR Trust (irrecovable trust?) with another indivdual named Gordon Beh. I don't think Kody could touch it.

      Delete
    7. Double Dollar Ranch post - we have that as fact.
      http://sisterwivesblog.blogspot.com/2011/07/double-dollar-ranch.html

      Delete
    8. So his dad couldn't even mortgage the ranch for Kody even if he wanted to. It wasn't even an option for Kody! What a douchey thing to even suggest in a joking manner.

      On a side note, do plyg families generally set up trusts like this? Does it help the surviving legal spouse and rest of the wives?

      Delete
    9. Did they film after January 2013?? Are they filming now in anticipation of the show being renewed?

      Delete
    10. Irrevocable trusts do help in a plug situation, but the main benefit in an income-bearing asset situation, is that it greatly reduces (and can eliminate) inheritance taxes. Gordon Beh is a a CPA and owns the accounting firm that administers the trust.

      Delete
  31. Loved the review as usual, CJ and MS are so talented. So what was the back rubbing thing with Meri and Mariah? That was a little exaggerated especially with Sobyn sitting there. I laughed at the comment about Knight Kody and his shining Kody armour. I said one time before he came into Robyn's life with his hair flowing in the wind on the back of a great white horse just like Fabio. He was the great knight to her rescue.

    Back on Aug 12th, Robyn tweeted: Last weekend I was at my family reunion at my great-grandfather's farm and I really reminded me of what is important - family and my roots. ( she said I reminded me )

    She seems to forget that her children also have roots in her ex's family. She can't just erase that and his history is also important to them. I hope she takes a second look at what she is doing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I reminded me ?

      Who says stuff like that ? Oh, right, Robyn, our scholar, she of the famous "minusing out" skills.

      Delete
    2. Cris, please read my exact transcription of Robyn's chastity message, so many lyrical jewels :)

      Delete
    3. Pity Party Closet, the back rubbing is a weird AUB phenomenon that always used to make me vaguely uncomfortable to watch. You could see women doing it to their men mainly,in Sunday meetings, and sometimes to their children. I even saw older teenage boys doing this for their mothers. It was probably harmless, but always struck me as very odd. I'd love to hear a psychologist's/sociologist's explanation. Another thing that I found odd was an inordinate number of girls who wanted to be/trained as massage therapists.

      Delete
    4. My mom used to rub my back and my sister's in church. Of course, we were 3 and 4 at the time. My dad was always in the choir, and I think my (very young) mom figured we would be a lot quieter if we fell asleep--which we both always did until we were 7 or 8.

      Delete
  32. I'll take on hit for Kody. Robyn ran out and got Kody. If she'd stayed in the house, she might have let the poor boy off without YEARS of hurt to Christine and him looking bad to, oh, everyone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is true. It is also true they would rather tweet about her purity than the passing of a great man. the church is not happy about this.

      Delete
  33. Truely was born in April so if they wished Sobbin a Happy Anniversary in May that would be right. The wedding party looked like it was in the Fall because of the colors but I think it was in the spring.

    ReplyDelete
  34. AHHHAAAAAHHAAA on that last photo in the review showing Robyn listening to Robyn! OMG THAT JUST MADE MY ENTIRE MORNING...LOL

    And and AND...I have to add, whether Dayton was concieved before or after the wedding, matters not. Robyn was an adult, and made the decision ON HER OWN to have sex with her YOUNGER fiance before marriage. Personal responsibility anyone?

    and YAY for Hunter for saying EXACTLY what he thinks.

    great review CJ!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know !!! Wasn't that photo just the best bit of BS-busting ever !!!
      Loved it !!

      And in the world I grew up in, having sex and getting pregnant at 20 or 21 was not the action of "a girl." May have been a regrettable move for Sobbin, but she cannot sell it as the trials and tribulations of a poor little girl and her purrrity.



      Delete
    2. DJ,so are you saying that like,you know,um,you know that Robyn is a cougar? Wow. The bs keeps piling on that poor,pure,chased woman.

      Delete
    3. Robyn isn't old enough to be a cougar and Kody is too old to be cougar bait. I should know...being one myself. :) However - a 23 year age difference is my personal limit...lol

      Delete
    4. "However - a 23 year age difference is my personal limit...lol"

      LOL !!! Good to know you have standards !!!


      Delete
    5. Unlike Robyn, I speak the truth. ;-)

      Delete
  35. So the Browns love living in LV because of their 'live and let live' attitude? But, the Browns themselves can't accept any premarital cookie, ever? I think Kody must have insisted that Robyn 'atone' for her great sin of being a temporary harlot, until she married him. I really do think that Robyn (remember how she was raised and educated) thinks if she hadn't given her cookie to her former husband, then these children would have been born by her with Kody's righteous royal seed (Thanks, Mike Cawley for that!) Seriously I think they all believe that. Since Janelle was a temporary harlot but didn't have children with her former husband, she did not have to publicly atone for her sins.

    ReplyDelete
  36. If the footage of an upset Mariah and almost crying Ysabel weren't from Robyn's portion of church, what exactly were they upset about? Did Kody then get up in front of them and give them the harlot lecture? Someone was upsetting them and it wasn't Meri or Robyn or Janelle (her red shirt in the background). Or it could have just been that Christine started talking about the mission statement again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd bet my life it was the horrifying news of what kind of person the "cookie monster" truly turned out to be.

      Delete
    2. Maybe the kids were crying because KoDouche said that because ratings were low, the checks weren't going to be as much and they were going to have to forego this Monty's trip to Disneyland.

      Delete
  37. I have been watching this train wreck from the beginning and found this wonderful blog a few months back, I finally had to write something. As a parent with grown children I look back and know I made mistakes, some I have apologized for. This group of clowns will have to write a book of SORRY to their children. Watching Sobbin on this episode was sickening when realizing her children were probably in the room. If they ever had doubts about belonging to the clown group even just a little, they now know they are outsiders of the worst kind. Depending on how they understood their mother's sermon, they were conceived in rape! I am continually infuriated when watching SW but I cannot turn away. I have always thought Janelle and Christine seem to have some common sense and also seem to be good with their children. Meri, well it has all been said. As for Robyn, I never understood bringing her into this family. She has always acted like a teenager versus adult and is so needy.

    I also think it is funny to watch Kody while the wives are talking. His expression is always one of shock or disbelief at whatever they are saying. Thanks for the blog, it is great to know that most feel as I do, we just can't look away while the train comes closer each episode to jumping of the track.

    ReplyDelete
  38. MaPuriteeIzMyBizznesAugust 28, 2013 at 1:31 PM

    CJ's review was spot on and perfect. I just don't know how much more of this show I can take. This episode may be the straw that breaks the camel's back for me.

    Firstly, this family has gotten soooooo far removed from living any kind of spiritual life, whether Mormon, Christian, what-have-you. They are as wordly as you can be. Sobyn goes on a self serving self pitying binge (oh, and delusional too) and they have the cojones to call it church?? I'm a tolerant, open minded, live and let live lapsed Catholic and I was shaking my head.

    Second, I am so tired of the hypocrisy, the lies, the manipulation, ego, jealousy, and entitlement that is just about every member of this family's modus operandi. Usually I laugh and take it all in as entertainment. Now it's just not funny anymore.

    I am also a child of divorce whose father was verbally and physically abusive. My mother NEVER ONCE bad mouthed my father and did nothing but encourage to love, forgive, and maintain a good relationship with him. I feel horrible for Sobyn's kids. I feel horrible for Christine. Give me Polygamy USA any day over this drivel.

    Sorry for the rant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just to look at Hyrum, I'd agree with you on the PUSA over SW. LOL.

      but seriously, much more interesting. I still haven't erased the PUSA eps from my DVR, they're very compelling to watch.

      Delete
  39. Someone help me here please. Why was Robyn brought in the picture anyway? Ratings? Meri getting even with Christine for something? They had all been together for over 15 years without a new (restored-to-Betty Crocker-perfection) cookie. These families are so connected. I can't help but think it was all planned. I doubt the meeting was "chance" like they make it out to be. I keep getting this image in my mind of Kody having a faith healing service for Robyn's hymen. He's laying hands on her lower abdomen pronouncing the hymen "HEALED!" She falls down (Benny Hinn style), quivers, and then slowly regains her composure. "My pure-it-tee is restored! It's a miracle.....er.... you know, uhm you want a fresh cookie Kody?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cynical Jinx and Mister Sister said in another part of the blog (who knows where) that she probably "found" him since there was talk of a show; in the Review for the book "Becoming Sister Wives" it also has Cynical's touch saying that she felt the same way. Remeber that she didn't come along until July, by then they had already made a rough cut and were selling the product. I do not buy for one minute that it was for any other reason. Cynical, can you clarify what the two of you have mentioned and maybe put it into better wording? I think that both of you are on to something. First a Jessop, then a star.

      Happy the Review is up!

      Delete
    2. Sue, here's the first paragraph of Robyn's Chapter (this was from my recap of their book Becoming Sister Wives)

      What a despicable, opportunistic, manipulative, gold-digging, passive-aggressive wrench this woman is! Don't forget she married into a "well-regarded" family the first time around. She knew what she was doing, too bad she didn't pick the right polygamist to climb up the social ladder. But wait, along comes this Lexis convertible with a goofy long haired dude inside it just aching to add a hot skinny mama to his unhappy harem to do the wild thing with. No matter what this woman says, read between the lines, folks, its plain to see exactly what her agenda was.

      You can read the rest of what I wrote about Robyn here:
      Becoming Sister Wives: Part Two: Sorority

      Delete
    3. And yes, apparently (according to Janelle also in Part Two) Robyn began scoping out Kody as a future hubby about the same time the Browns received notification they would be filming a pilot called Sister Wives.

      Delete
    4. Thanks so much Cynical Jinx! What a great blog. I have a lot of catching up to do!

      Delete
    5. "Robyn began scoping out Kody as a future hubby about the same time the Browns received notification they would be filming a pilot called Sister Wives."

      Sobbin is what my Irish grandmother used to call "a troller" !!

      LOL....This latest editing glitch is proof positive on how crafty the editing has been to dupe the viewers into buying all the KodyWorld Krap. They stupidly didn't count on the laser-eyed, observation skills of Cynical Jinx.

      Delete
    6. Thanks Cynical Jinx, I missed your review of their book.

      Delete
  40. What angered me was the fact they would continually put their children through this. Does Hunter have to stand up and be the voice of reason? I am joking, but the kid has grown into a monster man, quite buff, and I can see him walking off the stage and having a beer with his buddies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I was high school or even college age I would probably have had a crush on Hunter. I love athletic self spoken cute guys. Always have!

      Delete
  41. "Couldn't the production company's editor find some other film clip to use?"
    Haha I agree with you.

    ReplyDelete
  42. One thing seems to get lost in this episode because of Robyn's inane speech about her "purity." That's at the beginning when KoDeutchBank says that he thought a lot of AUB families would stop by their house if they were in the area and want to have "church" with them, but none have. NONE!!!! I guess Kody and his Krew aren't quite as popular in their own group as they would like to think they are.

    ReplyDelete
  43. There was one engagement kiss between Robyn and Kody. Christine was upset at Robyn for kissing a married man.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/30/sister-wives-discuss-kody_n_745633.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What Christine said was an engagement between a man and woman should not be sealed with a kiss until on the altar. In other words they had to be married first. An unmarried woman cannot kiss a married man until they are married to each other. Just from the photos (and Robyn letting it slip that once Kody kissed her she knew it was a done deal) its clear Kody and Robyn were kissing prior to the altar and that's why Christine was so upset about it.

      Delete
    2. Xenia, I too find Christine to know her facts. Robyn makes up her chaste definition as she goes. Christian by faith, I can't respect her if she can't respect her Sister Wives.

      Delete
  44. Cute Review! Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  45. It appears to be pieced together from when Kody was talking. Was Robyn's speech not so riving that the produciton team could not stay on focus for all 3 minutes of her tessimonee to gather film footage? Yes, i had to go back and check my dvr'd tape. I love the picture so much!
    Cynical, no jest about her speech patterns? Or have we all become so accustomed to her butchered english we don't even see it anymore?

    The Reviews are the reason I watch the show. Adding spoilers, boy, TLC needs you folks!

    ReplyDelete
  46. bwahahahhahahahhahahahha. That's all I have to say about piecing together the kisses!
    https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/chaste
    https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/chastity
    https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/purity

    Robyn, if you ever come here, which I believe is evidenced by the changing of birthdate all over the web, here is how you say the words.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Thanks everyone! Glad you enjoyed the review!

    ReplyDelete
  48. The name "Jessop" is a dime a dozen, as are the names LeBaron, Timpson, Barlow, Hammon, Jeffs, Stubbs, and Allred. The practice of polygamy kind of narrows down the gene pool, and spreads surnames around like wildfire. In some parts of old Deseret, it's difficult to throw a rock and not hit a Jessop! So I wouldn't lean too hard on old Robyn for marrying into a prominent fundamentalist family. It might have been more difficult for Robyn to avoid marrying a Jessop than to actually catch one. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  49. I can not even believe I just spent a $1.99 for this:
    Season 4, Episode 2 "Polygamist Date Night"
    Meri and Dayton's joint birthday party
    "Having the same birthday as you has created a special bond for Day'un with Meri." As spoken by Robyn.

    This episode follows a Christmas episode, and is before both Kody's birthday and the 4 Wives Valentine's day episode, therefore it must be January.

    I'm sure we're all over it but I was determined to find this episode.


    Great recap, CJ! We're all soooooo confused. :)


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am now thinking that someone from their camp originally said his birthdate for IMDB, etc, as March 7. I doubt a fan excited enough to post would mix up. Doubt she would think much of it since she's so new to the computer world per say. Things caught up with her.

      Delete
  50. If they have "church" in their homes, do they qualify for a real estate tax waiver as a house of worship? That would burn me up. CJ, I truly appreciate this blog. Now I do not have to watch this ridiculous show thanks to all of you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Would they not have to apply for a church status with the county? I don't see how they could however, I am naive to the ways of grifters.

      Delete
    2. If they are using a write-off for "church" on their income taxes, there would likely be additional zoning laws that would come into effect. And since they have an HOA, I doubt they would approve. Usually, "Bible studies" are ok; regular church services attended by non-family members would raise red flags. Since this is the first "church" they've shown in months, I doubt the word "regular" would describe it.

      They're just filming something different for the show, based on all of the comments here about, "If they're so religious, why don't they have church services?"

      Delete
  51. Can anyone find a clip of the photos shown on this episode of Robyn holding baby Dayton/David? I could have sworn he was a cute little blonde baby yet I just read an article from People back when King Sol was born where she stated that he was her first child with blonde hair....

    "He looks like Kody," she says. "All my babies before had dark, curly hair. He is so cute. He looks like a little Brown baby. He has a sweet, peaceful spirit."

    Maybe she does understand DNA after all... who knows.

    ReplyDelete
  52. The new video clip in the post below of the time capsule is so much better than they stuff in the show. I suggest you watch it if you haven't.
    Why do they cut the best?
    Is CJ on to something?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is cute. I love that the little girl has a designer stuffed animal, do yours?

      Grown so hackneyed of Robyn taking over the screen. Next season to be only Janelle and Christine!! Just kidding.

      Delete
    2. They said it was a ceramic elephant...I honestly think they meant "decorative" as in it was a decoration and designer came out because designers are those guys what put the ceramic elephants up in your house...

      Delete
    3. I agree, it is a continual Robyn show. I think Kody was so enamoured with her when she wrote it down and had a vision....and whispered in his ear, he went to the producers about it.
      It was the downfall of the show.

      Delete
  53. I see a new marketing opportunity, beyond Purity Rings. How about:

    Purity Lipstick: garlic flavored to guarantee you won't get kissed.

    Purity Headband: grips your head for a double effect: first, the constant pressure reminds you to hold on to your chastity; second, our ingenious design guarantees you a "not in the mood" headache within five minutes of putting it on. Comes in white (for purity), sized XXS for maximum holy pressure.

    Purity Locket: heartshaped locket just the right size to keep your purity safe. Before you go out clubbing, put your purity in our beautiful gold-colored iconic locket and wear it around your neck to keep it safe. Works even better if you wear it under your temple garments.

    Purity Caramels: Every time you have an impure or unworthy thought, eat a Purity Caramel, and your naughty thought will magically disappear. That's right! You can stuff your emotions, urges, and natural desires with this wonderful little candy! This proven method has worked for countless polygamous women. Purity Caramels can be found at any accredited Keep Sweet Shop.

    Purity Condoms: A last-resort emergency item, our Purity Condoms are made of latex embedded with fine sand and lubricated with Vicks Vaporub.

    ReplyDelete
  54. I heard a great line from a tv doctor yesterday she said another word for mistress is side dish and everyone knows the side dish is the cheapest thing on the menu. Also I must say that I love Janelle's children they are all very likeable and they seem to have enough conviction to take a stand and stick to it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And we all know that Kody has lots of side dishes! Cookies at every house!

      Delete
  55. Great job CJ! Loved how you caught Robyn watching Robyn-too funny. Bad editing by crewe. I feel bad for Christine. I wish she would leave the group. The children will see this mess on tv. I think Robyn called the heart necklace a "care necklace'. She gave it a name just can't remember what she said.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I loved it so much! When I went back to my DVR's version - TLC had conveniently placed their logo big and large over her, but you can see the top of her head and enough of her forehead to know...only because of Cynical's picture.
      Priceless. Made my day.

      Delete
    2. "TLC had conveniently placed their logo big and large over her, but you can see the top of her head and enough of her forehead to know...only because of Cynical's picture."

      Wow !!! That is just plain dirty !!
      They never expected it to be caught.

      Delete
    3. EXACTLY.
      In order to grab pictures, we have to buy the show even if we DVR it from Amazon or itunes. I haven't bought the past few, but I can tell you we go through them in slow mo looking for that great pic.

      I was laughing so hard after Cynical and I talked and we realized this!
      It SERIOUSLY looks like they were trying to cover it up, and like Cynical told me earlier, didn't think about the fact itunes, etc, doesn't use the cover layer of those pop in ads.

      Cynical Jinx made fools of them!

      Delete
  56. giuliana and bill are so refreshing compared to this crew. They are currently on Mother's day. May. Can SW not keep up? Can you imagine having to film SW?

    ReplyDelete
  57. Pinesdale. I call it Colorado City of the North. Yes, the Jessops rule like a royal family and the Weidows are their barely-literate henchmen. I have to admit, I would need a refresher course to find out about Robyn's previous marriage, but when I hear that she went to live in Pinesdale, I had to cringe. Now THAT is a freaky place!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And she was rebelling at that. Who goes to a well known place like that to rebel against their religion?
      As we've said. One looking for a Royalty Husband.

      Delete
    2. What is Pinesdale like, or Colorado City? I have never been there. Is it as creepy as seenon TV?
      If the Jessops rule, why do they allow such slander on TV?
      Thanks if you can answer Troy Bowles. I've missed you on here.

      Delete
  58. The supposedly chaste woman twitters about her cookie? Sorry, but in what world does broadcasting information about that specific part of the female anatomy equate to chaste behavior. Just using that slang term brings the conversation level out of the supposedly celestial frame of mind and into the gutter. That's bad enough, but to go ahead and talk about giving out all over the place is about as far from chaste as you can get. I mean regular women don't go around talking about giving out their "V". There are better ways to talk about it than to basically say "I gave him some 'P' before we got hitched". Even the Honey Boo Boo family doesn't talk like that, and they don't put on all sorts of religious airs either.

    It is just plain rude!!!

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    1. Actually, just for clarification's sake...Honey Boo Boo's family calls it a biscuit....because of "how it opens, like a good biscuit, you now, from Hardees." If you go to Youtube and search Mama June and biscuit you get some very..ripe...examples. The Boo Boo family are a kick in the pants but their vocabulary is no model for how to talk about sex like a grown up. :D

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  59. Remember back in January when we predicted this season? I went back to look at my prediction. It is surprising how close to the mark it is. This show is soooo predictable. I wouldn't bother to watch it if it weren't for the constant amusement of this blog.

    January's Prediction:

    Episode 1: Rehash of footage from last season. Family describes life without Logan. Family designs the "iconic" ornament for my sisterwives closet. Kody describes his marketing ignorance by explaining that they are limiting the quantity to make them more valuable (not realizing that he doesn't benefit from the secondary market value) Kody reiterates that MSWC is essential to the family's financial future. Meri, Robyn, and Kody cry.

    Episode 2: Thanksgiving with the Browns. They drive by the homes. Meri, Robyn, and Kody cry.

    Episode 3: Janelle discusses new fitness regimen. Mariah and Aspyn receive their SAT scores. That is quickly overshadowed by Mona's call that the builders need to meet with the Browns about the timeline for the homes. The Browns speculate on what will be said at the meeting and cry.

    Episode 4: The builder tells the Browns that the timeline on the completion of the homes might be pushed back. Rehash of old footage where the family talks about the importance of the homes and the previous erosion of the family culture. Meri reiterates that Mariah wants to be in the homes as soon as possible. Rehash footage of Robyn saying that 2012 will be Mariah's last Christmas at home. Meri, Robyn, and Kody cry. Rehash of the "suragit" offer. Meri explains that the delay in the completion of the homes will push back her decision. She cries again.

    Episode 5: All homes are finished, but Meri is unhappy with hers and demands that the builder re-do some things because "this is where [she] will live for the rest of [her] life." Then she cries that her home is not finished. Janelle, Robyn, and Christine rent U-hauls and move (while Kody sleeps and Meri cries.) Rehash of footage of Robyn saying that it is Mariah's last Christmas at home. Meri cries at the couch session.

    Episode 6: Christmas with the Browns. Kody tells them how God gave them the homes so that their family can start rebuilding itself. Meri, Robyn, and Kody cry.

    Episode 7: Meri's home is finished. She moves. Each wife talks about her hopes for 2013. More about Janelle's fitness resolution. Kody points out that Meri will need to make a decision about the baby soon. He plans a trip to New Orleans with Meri to ask for her decision. Meri cries. Cliffhanger: Will Meri decide to do IVF?

    In other words, YAWN . . . and crying, of course.

    http://sisterwivesblog.blogspot.com/2013/01/hollywoodlifecom-tlc-renews-sister.html

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    1. I believe a blind and deaf man could predict this mess. Is there one story line not beat to a sad, bloody pulp? There are other shows on TLc that are much better. It makes one wonder if you are not right, the production team is fed up.

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  60. I think that in Jenelle's situation, there is no way that Meri would have allowed her to get up there and slam her first husband since Jenelle's first husband was Meri's brother.

    I agree there is more going on here than Robyn's cookie and her purity. With these people, it is hard to tell what it is. Hmmm...maybe pre-planning for their exit from LV when they lose the houses.
    HEADLINE: Brown family forced to leave McMansions in the middle of the night to avoid a court order to remove Robyn's 3 older children after custody is awarded to their natural father. The Browns go into hiding at an undisclosed location.

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  61. Does anyone remember in the house-painting episode that Kody said his mom would fall on a sword for him...and what's his is his and what's hers is his...I would fall on a sword for my daughter but not for 4 mortgages...

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  62. And the best actress in a drama passing as a reality show category is...

    Robyn is not very convincing with her dramatic portrayal of a victim. I agree with the above poster who said it looked like community theatre at your local park. (Or something to that effect).

    In my humble opinion, the best actress award belongs to Christine. If you watch her speeches, both at the podium for Principle Voices, and on the couch, she assumes this "Super Speshal, Happy Happy, Plyg Housewife" persona that drives me crazy. She works like a dog to keep up the facade, but every once in a while the mask comes down and you can see the real woman. What I find disturbing is that when the cracks appear and her true self is exposed she seems to feel like being real is somehow Wrong, or a Moral and Spiritual Failure. Plyg propaganda has her convinced that she will never be worthy if she acknowledges her true feelings, and demands more than sloppy seconds, or thirds. That's just tragic.

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    1. I believe this is the reality of a lifetime of the mantra "Keep Sweet" being pushed down her throat.

      Christine is the Poster Sister Wife of keeping sweet. You can see the success of it on her face, and it's painful to watch!

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  63. Seriously, TLC needs to hire Cynical Jinx. Her commentary with photos is more entertaining than the show. I had to fast forward through Robyn's blathering; made me cringe. They seem to all be pushing their religion more this year. No longer good enough that we accept them, they seem to want to convert others.

    Kody is a really lousy minister. I read here sometime back that there were other polygamists in their area so not sure why the Brown family is at sea for Sunday services. You know with preachers and teachers, the good ones can make anything interesting, the bad ones make everything boring. Which kid said Kody as a preacher is always either crabby or crying?

    I wondered if the whole humiliating Robyn thing was because they know their kids are not into the no-sex-without-marriage-&-babies mindset. Anybody in this day and age who marries without knowing if they are really sexually compatible with their companion, is dumb. Just because you love somebody emotionally doesn't mean you are automatically going to be good sexual partners. It is immature and naïve to think that a wonderful friendship must equal wonderful sex. It is crazy to commit your life to someone when you do not know if his or her body pleases you. And it is barbaric to think a female is in any way less valuable because she has experimented with and/or enjoyed sexual relations with persons she does not marry.

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    1. Their relgion isn't polygamy. Their religion includes polygamy. It would like a catholic attending an Amish church for the browns to attend another church even one that includes polygamy. Even if they went to a church all the adults would be compelled from time to time to speak to the group. It's one thing to get in the car to go to a church with non family and it's another to go to a house to just be with family for church. I can see their being happy to just cross the street.

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  64. I'm just wondering how they could set up the four houses knowing they will be leaving in a few years...I just can't see how they would do that to their kids...they must have solid plans to pay the mortgages every month? Even with this bunch of adults who act as they do with money and material things, I can't believe Janelle would knowingly allow that to happen and disappoint her children.

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  65. So I've been thinking sobbin was sitting there because TLC didn't want us, the viewers, to see the family's real reaction more importantly Christine's and janells.
    Can not figure out how to put a name in....( I have been commenting from my I phone, do you suppose that is why?)

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    1. I had to set up a gmail account because I had trouble too. Now the name just pops up every time. Does it make a difference if you put the name in before your post? I comment from an ipad and it wouldn't let me put in a name either only anonymous. I only use the gmail account for here.

      Delete
    2. I'm able to post using my google ID (DakotaJustice) from my ipad as well as my two laptops, and even my iPhone if I have to. There's a couple tricks to it, but it's doable.

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  66. I love your choice of words for the kisses. Unfortunately, the made the idea of them kissing a little to, um, like, um )channeling kody) vivid! I have so enjoyed this episode, only for coming here. I like going over the fats and having fun with the spoilers. That does keep it alive until the review. Then swish boom bah! The review comes and I just laugh and laugh!

    The picture says a thousand words!

    Hunter and Maddie are my true heroes in this mess.

    I know that we shouldn't post about things not concerning the review and/or relevant to the discussion, so I posted what I thought was big news for the blog in the discussion below. I am really trying to be respectful of the posting setup. I am an avid reader here and rarely post. That way others can talk about it. I hope that's alright.

    Thank you cynical for an insightful, playful review!!!!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for being respectful. Sometimes here it gets hard to keep discussions together!

      I am still a twit over Robyn watching Robyn. Genius! Sometimes there's a diamond in the "poop" carpet!

      Delete
    2. oh!vI went to link in the discussion post! Excited!

      Delete
  67. I love the frame exposing the horrible editing and showing how contrived the scenes are. Who knows how that uncomfortable talk really went down.

    I feel absolutely horrible for the kids.

    This mess was yet another example of how these people are unable to think/plan ahead. I am sure it didn't even cross Robyn's mind how bad this would make her appear or how it might affect her kids. In the end this was yest another example of how immature and short sighted she can be.

    Also, I see Kody's big iconic paw print all over that storyline. I can imagine him deciding that Robyn was going to tell this messed up tale of woe infront of the entire family. After all, what a great way to terrify his kids into towing the line and stroke his own ego.

    Speaking of ego.. Did that man really, truly, think that people were going to drop everything to drive down to Las Vegas to attend service with him and his clan? Kodyisms like that keep me watching the show. You just never know what self centered, egotistical, poorly thought out, steaming pile of doo is going to fall out of their mouths next.

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    1. Or even worse, did Kody think that we would fall for that mess?
      Would we believe they get dressed up to go to "church"?

      I had a real problem with the fact he had no real message the first time we saw him preach. Curtis, his brother, rest his soul, was much more knowledgeable and eloquent.
      Did he not watch that and see he needed to work on his acting skills before trying the church skit again?

      Real hard time believing that with a group of 17 kids, there is not certain rules in place. When entering for church, all electronics off. Pay attention and be respectful.
      etc. What we have learned is that Kody has no control over his children. The mothers have some. Zero respectability.

      I wonder if the lunch they had after the 3 minute service was from the Kraft service?

      Being a church goer, I've always had a problem with there lack of church while the crux of their lifestyle is because of it. The don't walk the walk.

      Cynical always puts such a wonderful spin on such a mess of a show. Too bad she wasn't writing for them!

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    2. Who took that picture?

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  68. Okay so I shouldn't be snarky but you wouldn't have this blog if YOU weren't snarky so the snark-sharing will commence. That picture of Robyn near the Montana sign looks like she's one of the Super Mario characters bwhahaha.

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  69. Thanks for reminding us SHE CHASED HIM! He could of left without that kiss.
    SHE CHASED HIM.
    Think about those words. Ignore what they say, and just think. Meri didn't put them together. Robyn did.

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  70. I re-watched the episode where Christine gave birth. Robyn is wearing her wedding band. And long sleeves to cover her garments. I think they had already had the religious ceremony and were just pretending to not be married for the camera's

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    1. Maybe she was wearing her purity ring, or maybe her class ring. If you saw it when they are sitting on the couch those scenes are taped at a much later date so it could have been a wedding band. As far as the garments are concerned, she would have received those when she was baptised into the faith, so that doesn't mean a thing.

      Delete
    2. xenia - AUB members don't get the "garments" at baptism. Would definitely happen when a woman was "married." Long sleeves alone though, don't prove she was married, but I think the ring does. Robyn still looks bad, because she admits to kissing Kody when they were dating. (Christine was furious about it.)Even back then she tried to make it sound as if the kiss was taken from her (like the "cookie" by her ex!) It's never her fault - she's a professional victim

      Delete
  71. So Robyn told her story about not being a virgin when she married the Kodster, when does Janelle get up and tell the kids about having sex with their uncle and how much she regrets it?

    Hey kids, I was married to Meri's brother and it was the worst mistake of my life (throws heart shaped cookie on the carpet) and when I gave Kody my cookie it already had a bite out of it because your uncle talked fancy to me and made me give him baked goods I wanted to save for after dinner!

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  72. the picture of Garrison in the Lehi rental house , Robyns kitchen, witH Kody and Robyn make me wonder how Garrison must feel watching his dad koo over Robyn. These kids have been raised with more than one mom but Robyn is new to the family, and it makes me feel bad for him witnessing his dads affection for her. Cant imagine how confusing that might be to him. Cant help it, the still picture of the kid witnessing this is painful to look at. My heart hurts for these kids. They have to feel anxiety going to school knowing their friends have watched dad act a fool on tv

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    1. See a hypocritical issue?

      Teach the till you beat the dead horse about purity.

      Have several women you are with to confuse.

      Delete
    2. I just love this blog. Sometimes there's not a whole lot to add to the discussion that hasn't been said. It's been a fun week here.

      Delete
  73. Great review Cynical Jinx. You are the very best.

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  74. Robyn looking contrite when Kody spilt the beans about her dress

    I bet Kody gets that look every time he isn't doing what she says. I know she looks like the innocent one tryin to be a good mormon girl, but something tells me she will be the breakup of a family. I know they werent perfect before, but the certainly won't bode well now.

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  75. I would be sooo pissed if I found out that my mother said publicly that she wishes someone else was my father...no matter how horrible her ex was that is still the kids father and you have no right to wish that kody to be their father...

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  76. Mary doesn't want another child, which is why this is taking so long to play out.
    Admitting that she's content would nullify all the previous crying episodes.
    A baby would mess up her house and her work schedule. She's doesn't appear to be a nurturing person, and the other kids would be reluctant to come over and give her a hand in raising another child.

    TLC got the public opinion explosion they wanted!
    SWB keep feeding TLC story lines!

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    1. I could be wrong but I thought in their culture they no longer had sex when past their child bearing years. Maybe that is making Meri wonky so she carries on with the having another child. It seems obvious that she would have done something two years ago if she really really wanted one. Perhaps little Obidayah is still hiding in her closet, that is about as close as she will get to having another one.

      Just wanted to say I used to post as Slept into Debt but updated my name.

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    2. Work schedule? What work schedule?

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    3. It would take away from her time in the Secret Telescope Room spying on the other 3 houses. LOL.

      Also, Meri said IN THE VERY FIRST SEASON! that she didn't want any more kids, wasn't interested in IVF. now she's doing a kinda-sorta 180, although I'm 99.8% certain it's to keep a plot line going and not because she actually WANTS another kid at this point in her life. She made it crystal clear, to me at least, in that first season that she had given up the thought of having any more kids and was content at that point.

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  77. I went to a very conservative Christian (evangelical--not Mormon) college and, believe me, Robyn's ret-conning is typical. Many, many of my girlfriends got a little too drunk, a little too wild a party, went a little too far with a guy and in the aftermath, couldn't reconcile that behavior with their deep rooted morality. So rather than face the implications of their voluntary "immoral" choices, they reconstructed the situations in their minds making themselves victims of other people's manipulations. I saw this over and over again--it is a way of conserving the deep-rooted image of their ideal selves. Made me crazy then (me to my roommate: "Dude, you were telling how much fun you had being a rebel, drinking and banging this guy for three months, and now a year later the story is he 'raped' you and spiked your drinks?"), but if you grow up this way and understand the culture, you see how it happens.

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  78. I know the Q&A show that followed the Robyn puuuurity train wreck was a repeat, but I though it was hilarious when they had the obviously staged scene of Kody laying down the discipline to one of the little boys who was tussling with his sister. The kid was sitting on the couch laughing while Kody was trying to hand out discipline. I think that's how all the kids feel about him. They have no respect for him as a disciplinarian or as a "real" father. Kids see through BS much more easily than adults do sometimes. Of course, calling the four baby mamas adults pains me.

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  79. The only thing missing here is a "like" button!

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  80. Maybe Kody thought if he had visitors attending his "religious" services, the family could pass the collection plate and that would become another source of income for his clan.

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  81. Wow, Robyn was really skinny in the earlier episodes. I thought she had a hard time gaining weight and didn't have to exercise like the other wives?

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    1. I figured that was bullshit, from the get go. SURE she can't eat and all food sickens her. Classic Thin Girl Passive Aggressive dig at the fat girls. Had that done to ME plenty of times.

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  82. Y'all, it dawned on me yesterday that a great deal of what Robyn does (including this so-called purity melodrama) is rooted in her massive insecurity at being the odd girl out. What popped into my head is the her personal quip during the show opener: right before Kody says "Love should be multiplied, not divided," Robyn says, "Seems like destiny.Like we all should'a been together from day one."

    Who's been "together since day one"? Kody, Meri, Janelle, and Christine, that's who. (Granted there was some space between the addition of wives, but relatively little in the big picture).

    While Meri, Janelle and Christine were struggling with Robyn coming in and upsetting the relative balance they'd finally hammered out in their household, ol' Sobbin' Robyn was DESPERATE to not be Jilly-come-lately. Wives 1-3 went through the jealously of Kody's obvious infatuation and love-sick puppy behavior, but Robyn was completely jealous that the Browns were an established unit for SIXTEEN YEARS before she came on the scene.

    This purity drama is just another way of trying to prove that she's as special and important on the wife scale as those who got to have Kody a long LONG time before Robyn had him. In other words, polygamist, revisionist BS.

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  83. I Knock Hips With No OneAugust 29, 2013 at 1:02 PM

    1. Talk about DARING your ex to take his kids away from you. As if parading their wacky lifestyle on national TV wasn't bad enough, she pretty much disowned their dad and denigrated him right to her kid's stricken faces. Sadness.
    2. We all know Robyn is the sex toy and I guess it isn't the bed of roses the other wives would make it out to be. Because obviously she has to talk Kody off a ledge constantly with excuses about how she could have ever,ever had sex with another man (while he actively shuffles from wife to wife on a nightly basis)
    3. Robyn calling your virginity a gift more precious than any joools...how about a brain? Why not teach your two daughters their BRAINS are what they should treasure, not their freaking sexual inexperience? I hate. this.message.so.much. It's everything that keeps women down: your value is decided by how comfortable insecure chauvinists will be sleeping with you.

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  84. Off the subject of Robyn, and back onto Meri.......the whole baby yes, or baby no issue.......well it is her own drama.

    She always seems to be pointing out how "I don't feel as though I deserve this" pity party, and whoa is me. I WANTED to have 8 kids so why am I treated differently?? Then when the ideas for her to have more children (who in their right mind would want more babies in their 40's??) comes up she hims and haws.

    She can only keep it up so long, I don't think she wants more babies at all. The look on her face WAY back when on the Mexico trip when The Kodster puts the issue on the table......she does NOT look on board at all. She even says "I don't see the point."

    She doesn't want more kids, she wants the attention she is getting from Kody about the issue of more kids. She wants the pity, she likes her space, her "decorated" house AND her quiet, special, no noise time with darling Kody.

    And the pity from Robyn. "Poor poor Meri, she needs me."

    To quote the old movie "Overboard"......"If you have a baby, you won't BE the baby."

    I recently watched that show when she mentioned that doctors described her inability to conceive as "Unexplained Infertility". It makes you wonder, deep down, if this lifestyle is so very stressful that her body won't let her conceive because internally the stress is just too much.

    Deep down, her having the same size house makes sense.....IF....they truly have a lot of family members back and forth traveling to visit. What a great place for them to stay, in a quiet, well maintained house that they can relax in, away from the chaos of the little kids. By the sounds of it, they DON'T have family traveling in and out. So it's just one big mortgage/tax burden to the whole lot in the end.

    However, there is always those Pyramid Scheme meetings, that's what the wet bar is really for, displaying the great products they are "selling"!!

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  85. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/faithgoespop/2013/08/is-mariah-from-sister-wives-getting-free-college-tuition-in-exchange-for-tv-mentions/

    Saw this on facebook.....

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  86. Redwood Curtain: I so agree with you. If Sobbyn had been on the scene from the beginning, wouldn't she have been fourteen years old when Kody married Meri? They say the stupidest things. Does this woman never think? I hope they do read here and realize that we certainly do not believe all the stuff they try to feed us.

    There are lots of older farmers who will put a mortgage against their property for the amount of a down payment to buy another piece of property. It sounds like Kody's father didn't but if he had sometimes that debt is forgiven as part of a child's inheritance. I hope the farm property has enough to sustain the wives or they may have to sell it.

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  87. Anyone wonder why Robins first husband doesn't try to get custody? This circus has to be harmful to them!

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