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Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Sister Wives are NOT Witches!

Breaking news ... this just in!

The Sister Wives are ... NOT ... Witches

Recent revelations on Sister Wives have caused many viewers to call certain Sister Wives bad words (no names, but they rhyme with berry and bobbin).
So I decided to do some extensive research at the Frostbite Falls library ... well, OK, it was the 3 Readers’ Digests from 2004 at the local Barbershop that no one had stolen yet  ... on the subject of Wicca to see whether we really could call any of our favorite Sister Wives “witches”. 
I learned that the Wiccan Rede, or code, that many Wiccans follow says “Bide within the Law you must, in perfect Love and perfect Trust.  Live you must and let to live, fairly take and fairly give.”  Well, I guess it’s a big old fail on that one.  We know about the law breaking; it’s the premise of the show.  This season we’ve heard the not-so-loving commentary from Meri towards Janelle and Christine, from Janelle towards Robyn, from Christine towards chondrichthyes plagiostomi (sharks), and from Robyn towards KIDS!!! (passive-aggressively, of course).  As for trust – when I first read the Rede and thought about the SWs, the Pepsi I was drinking shot out my nose (Sorry, Atlanta).  Just read our bankruptcy postings about the fairly taking and fairly giving stuff. 
Light of eye and soft of touch, speak you little and listen much.”  The Rede-crafters must have had Robyn in mind with the “speak you little” part.  You might want to nominate your favorite stink-eye picture for the light of eye part.
When you have and hold a need, harken not to others greed.” Admittedly, we don’t know whether the SWs have told Kody that keeping a sports car is knuckleheaded when they haul broods the size of sports teams around in fixer-upper jalopies.  But really ladies!  Don’t let the built in competition keep you from saying what needs to be said.
With a fool no season spend or be counted as his friend.”  Snicker, snort.  Sorry Kody, but isn’t the SW Blog all about this?
Merry Meet and Merry Part bright the cheeks and warm the heart.”  This phrase talks about fellowship.  We were told in Season 1 that there was a lot of fellowship among the SWs.  Now, not so much.  I feel a chorus of “liar, liar, pants on fire.” Coming on.  Any one want to join in?
Be true in love this you must do unless your love be false to you.”  Many posters are pointing out that the SWs are “true” to Kody, but the very nature of polygamy requires him to be untrue to the SWs.  Sorry gals.
These eight words the Rede fulfill: an it harm none, do what ye will.”  This has been interpreted to mean that Wiccans / witches must think long and hard about the consequences and impacts of their actions BEFORE they act.  What a concept!  Sure wish the SWs actually subscribed to this one because they would cause a lot less mayhem, especially with their kids. 
Since I have decided that the Sister Wives aren’t witches, I guess I’ll just call them b...itches.
N.B.: Yes, I know that not all witches are Wiccans and not all Wiccans call themselves Witches ... but, as Mom always said, close enough for hand grenades.

Written by: Terrasola!


  1. Terrasola, that was great! Funny, I loved it.

  2. hahahaha.
    Terrasola, LONG time nosee. Glad you are back!

  3. I think Robyn is a witch

  4. That is interesting and takes me back to the boys that were tried in Memphis that were innocent, but spent years behind bars b/c of their interest in Wicca.

    On topic, sorry!!! You know, I would believe a witch would be better than an AUB cult member.

  5. Research Mormons and White Magic and you might just be surprised...

  6. Yes Anon 3:33 That's how Joseph Smith and his family made their living...

  7. Cult is a cult is a cult..... Lot's of voodoo in Masonic and Mormon religions!
    Cute article!

  8. Actually, the wives are more like slaves to a religion that degrades women, and make men gods.

  9. This is a put down to the Wiccans.....LOL

  10. Hey GagMe, I dunno, Wiccans have standards and expect fellow Wiccans to be responsible for their own actions and bow down to no one. So I think they'd be glad to know that the SWs aren't in "the fold" so to speak.

  11. I think they are not being truthful. They all have new cars, now they are going from needing one house for three families to all needing there own house?
    I think they have forgotten about the need to be one big happy family and now are just getting full of themselves. Plus the housing in LasVegas is so depressed right now they can find places already built,and have 4 houses together or maybe 2-2 family homes.
    LasVegas next move Hollywood, I feel like I am being lied to in very show, Thank God that Revenge is on Sunday nights at 9:00, so I can say goodbye to the Sisters