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Thursday, January 5, 2012

I Scour the Internet 1/5/12: New Year Tweets from the Adults!

Now that Aspyngate is behind us, I was worried the adult Browns and Kody (yes, that was intentional) would go to private tweeting, denying us "Tweet Voyeurs" an opportunity to analyze and let's face it, have some fun with their "fan"  tweets.

Kody must have heard me. Thank you for not disappointing us!

But first, an observation. I was watching Terminator 3: The Rise of the Machines today. One thing I noticed was the car! The female terminator was driving  a Kodster Roadster! Yes, it was a Lexus convertible just like the one Kody has! So I have solved the mystery of Kody's psyche - he saw the movie, wanted the girl but had to settle for the Lexus! A Lexus SC430 to be exact, Sixty THOUSAND clamanators new. Makes sense why he calls his car his 5th wife...or was that his hair?

ANYWAY, let's just hope he doesn't aspire to be a Governator anytime soon!

As noted by many surprised (and may I add, dismayed) residents of the Metropolitan Phoenix area, Kody was sighted by shoppers doing his shopping thang in a Marshall's in Mesa AND a Kmart in Phoenix. The surrounding cities and neighborhoods of Scottsdale, Paradise Valley, Carefree, Fountain Hills, Tempe, Glendale, Peoria, Anthem, Ahwatukee, Sun City, and Litchfield Park all let out a collective sigh of relief (if I missed naming your city give me a call out!).

Hey Kody's Ladies! Daddy's coming home with some GIFTS for you!

But we now learn WHY Kody was passing through the Grand Canyon state. You see, well, let me have the Kodster explain for himself:

New company car?!? ARE YOU SERIOUS? So Kody, are you telling your fans that for reaching  SENIOR DIRECTOR level at LIV! International (don't forget Global Operation Detox) you qualified for a COMPANY CAR? And if that was the case, couldn't LIV! have found a LOCAL car dealership to have you pick your car up rather than have you put needless miles driving cross country? Or is this a company car for Fundamental Fitness? In either case, unless that car is a 1990 Toyota Corolla (which I seriously doubt) there is WAY too much  conspicuous consumption being displayed. Oh yeah, it's a COMPANY car...Right...

One Question...Who will now be driving the Lexus?

On the subject of Robyn - she tweets the following about her bundle of Brown joy!

And I'm sure at one year he'll be reciting the Gettysburg Address.

Oh no! Look what happened while Kody was away!

But why would Logan get grounded for injuring his knee? Is this a normal Brown punishment for getting hurt?

Thanks for the clarification, Janelle! Okay guys, you can put down those 'FREE LOGAN' signs now.

What a difference a few days will make. As Kody tweets:

And Meri adds:

Awwww....how sweet! Must be Meri's night with the Kodster. Or she's lobbying for Kody's Lexus....

Well, that's all for now! Remember, I Scour the Internet - So You Don't Have To! 


  1. LOL! funny article! wonder what Robyn is giving baby solomon if he is trying to talk at 2 months!!!

  2. I just find it odd that a wife would tell her husband "You've been missed!" in a tweet.

  3. Reciting the Gettysburg Address...ha ha ha!

  4. i loathe public personal comments between husband and wife when they put them out on FB and tweets ... and you're just telling the world how really impersonal your private relationship really is. you're trying too hard - "see, look at us! aren't we a cozy little couple having this private hubby/wife conversation to make sure all of you can eavesdrop on! don't you wish it was you?"

    and i'm a happily married woman and have no need to do this to people nor does my hubby. but then we don't have the egos/lack of self-esteem required. nor do we think it would impress anyone.

  5. Yes, why would you tweet your husband?? That is so obnoxious and odd. I have no need to send public messages to my husband for the world to see, especially since my txt msgs to him are usually something exciting like: please pick up some milk/bread on your way home from work.

    Company car, seriously. Thanks for posting, I asked for help on this last pm as I have no computer skills and didn't know how to post it.
    I follow Kody on twitter just to see what kind of stupid sentences he can put together. Funny, I've worked in the fitness business for over 20 yrs and I own NO car, never mind a company one. Guess I'm doing it all wrong. Any recent sightings of the wives? Are they taking the weight off? I am curious about this.

  6. I agree 1,000% with Mary and both Anonymous 11:37 and 2:16. If you're so in love with each other that you feel the need to post it on a public timeline, something's off.

    As for the company car that had to be picked up and driven across three states, it doesn't make much sense. But little they do makes sense anymore...opening a fitness club, dabbling in real estate, and I don't even know what this LIV thing is. They're like a bunch of goofy teenagers flitting from one summer job to the next.

  7. I bet that Kody's entertainment company leased the vehicle and he is using the term "company car" very loosely. A lease is so short that even if his show is canceled this year, the finance company probably still gave credit to his entertainment company. And he gets tax breaks for the corporation. I bet that LIV did NOT provide the car.

    What about the tweet where Meri says she fell down the stairs? Anybody else think it might have been a cry for help? And now she is trying to downplay it by saying she missed Kody?

  8. My favorite tweet, by far is: "Home is where the heart is and there is no place like HOME. I love my family with my whole soul. So good to be back."

    Well, thankyouverymuch for that disclosure there Dorothy. What a cliched, hackneyed bunch of uninspiring nonsense. Methinks the furball doth protest too much.

    "They're like a bunch of goofy teenagers flitting from one summer job to the next."


    Too true, Laura K, too true.

  9. When Kody said he would be glad to be home which home did he mean? Wife #1? Wife #2? Wife #3? or Wife #4? I guess he just closes his eyes and picks a door. Boy, your self-esteem would be in the toilet if you were the last wife on his visitation list. Something else I have always wondered who does his laundry? or does he have dirty undies and socks laying on the floor of every bathroom? Thoughts to ponder.

  10. I thought they were on a schedule? If that's the case, does Meri always get to go first or has Robin been moved up the list (since she's the fave wife)?

  11. Ugh. Why the mention of dirty underwear and socks. How horrible. Ack.

  12. I have sex on a scheduleJanuary 5, 2012 at 7:40 PM

    I love that people tweet to the Brown's & they reply ONLY if the tweet is about rainbows and unicorns. Someone tweeted to Robin that their stepdaughter saw Kody in a Kmart in Phoenix on January 2nd. Robin replied that it was him.

    If I were to analyze this I would first have to look at the fact that he was in a Kmart. I didn't think anyone shopped there anymore. Maybe that is way of being discreet? Secondly, I am still wondering if anyone still shops at Kmart. Anyone??

  13. I live part-time in 2 different cities. The K-marts in both cities that I know of have gone down to 1 each. They were always out of specials, stores were dirty, and they catered to crook customers in the effort not to offend them. Well they offended me mum, and she stopped going to the 2 that were left. It seems they tried to go out of business. She says you have to make an effort to be that bad and so politically correct that your actual paying customers won't come anymore.

  14. Hey Robin...your poor 2 month old is trying to "talk" so he can say "save me from these lunatics" when the TLC cameras turn back on. Kody is probably in Kmart shopping for more watch bands in case Christine's depression returns.

  15. Thanks for keeping us up to date Ms Ritz Carlton and thanks for the laughs!

  16. Maybe Kody is being courted as a last ditch spokesman for KMart. After all, he seems to be really good at being onboard with failing businesses.

    Or.....maybe they had a special on hair thickening shampoos.

    But knowing our narcissy-boy, he just wanted to give the locals a thrill and show his exciting self to them.

  17. These idiots better hope that their TLC gravy train never ends because they aren't going to be able to show up in bankruptcy court ever again. "Oh, what was that Robyn? You say you have no husband? Well, we saw him touching the head of your baby as he emerged from your birth canal. The Lexus is ours now."

  18. Ugh, just saw this on Twitter by Robyn:

    LuvgvsUwngsRobyn Sullivan Brown

    Checking out some furniture at @ColleensConsign to go in my house! Love their stores! Great pieces for anyones tastes!

    And they do it......yet again.....what kind of a kickback do you think they get from these types of tweets?

  19. And more importantly... where is she shoving all of this furniture? Kody rent her a bigger house with all of his earnings? FINITE Resources? Really, Janelle? None of these people have any financial sense whatsoever.

  20. I feel for original 3, they had everything set up:

    Meri had her space in the center, Kodi's number 1 spot, a good job, her daughter, her studies, surplus kids, free helper(Christine), finacial assistant(Janelle) and she was Happy!

    Janelle had her left wing, best friend Kodi, a good job, a free baby sitter(Christine), an undemanding friend (Meri), six kids; and she was Happy!

    Christine had her bottom right wing, Kody's love, 6 kids, the mother-hen status, home runner and owner of the house, kids' loyality, 2 very grateful sister-wives; and she was happy!

    it was working and everyone was happy!

    Kody had to bring in Queen bee Robin, to sting everyone out of their place!

    now original 3 all lost their jobs! Meri & Janelle lost their professional positions, Christine as a result lost her nanny-helper-housewife position! to add to that they lost their positions with Kody! Meri's spot has been taken, so has Janelle & Christine's spots.............

    no wonder they force themselves to smile!

  21. You people should do some standup comedy! I love the zingers. Too bad Kody does not care that people are making fun of him. All he cares about is keeping his women in line and making sure that the show is popular. Who cares if it is because some viewers can't turn away from a trainwreck?

  22. I'm sorry anon 7:25, I didn't mean to freak you out with the mention of dirty undies and sox.

  23. I live in a small town and K-Mart is one of my very few options. It isn't bad.

  24. Found this interesting in regards to the raid at the ranch. DNA testing required, several Darger's are listed. Makes you wanna go hmmm....


  25. Anon 12:30,

    lol. was mostly the fact that they had been next to Kody's skin and now retained his amoebas and stank....kind of like Robyn. Same reaction at the mention of her.

  26. Logan hurts his knee and Meri falls down the stairs. Next up Christine walks into a door.....

  27. I love this blog! Kody shopping for watch bands and hair thickening shampoo at KMart- priceless! There are so many other great comments that are funny, observational, and often both. I agree with those who noted that there is something suspicious about having to publicly proclaim feelings for a spouse. I personally know a couple who make sure to post on FB how much they love one another but whenever I am around them, they ignore each other (except to snap something to the other). My husband and I rarely post anything to each other on FB- if I have something to say to him I will say it in person. We may occasionally "share" things (he may post a picture that I want to post on my profile or vice versa) but neither of us feel the need to publicly post our personal business. The Browns just all seem to be trying too hard- both on the show and on public forums.

  28. Ah ha ha! All of you have made me laugh like crazy!

    What is LIV? Did I miss something in an episode? How on EARTH can they start a fitness business when all the wives (except for the favorite, Robin) are overweight and out of shape??? Who would go there...people who want to GAIN weight?? And i'm with Anonymous about the sox and undie thing. Ish! How gross is that that after being intimate with one of the other wives at her house, then he comes to the next wife's house and disposes those underthings in HER hamper for HER to wash??? DOUBLE ISH!!!