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Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Just Between Us Girls

By now most of us who have read CJ’s insightful reviews of the Brown’s book are wondering why the Brown sister wives have stayed with this soul sucking train wreck. Sure their religion tells them it’s the only way they can get to heaven but we all know from Robyn’s situation that women can be divorced and unsealed from someone. In the future, if a divorced woman finds a new fella who makes her happy in a better situation she and her children can be sealed to him. There is no ultimate catastrophe in leaving a bad situation.

Many of us have fantasized about what we would say to the Original Recipe 3 wives if we had the opportunity, realizing that Robyn seems happy where she is while the others do not. So I am indulging that urge.

Meri

Meri, you and Kody really love each other, that’s really clear. But it takes more than love to make a successful marriage. What things would you like to have in your relationship with Kody that aren’t presently there? Can you have them while he is married to other women? Do you know that your body language, facial expressions and tone of voice portray the image of an unhappy person?

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have a relationship where you don’t have to be jealous of other wives? Where you don’t have to be the primary parent or breadwinner? Where you aren’t alone 3 nights out of 4? Do you think that there might be other ways to “improve your character” and work on your jealousy issues besides watching the love of your life love other women? Do you want Mariah to feel the same emotions you have felt as a sister wife for the past almost 2 decades? If not, why not?

Do you feel remorse for how you have treated Janelle, Christine and their children? Do you understand why you have done the things you have done? Has your behaviour changed? Why or why not?

I am asking you these questions because I would like you to critically examine your life situation. It is very clear to many people that your primary relationship is not what you wish it was, and also that you are taking your frustrations out on others because you cannot openly admit your feelings. With Mariah on the verge of leaving home to pursue her education you also have a window of opportunity: to complete your education, fulfill your career aspirations and find true fulfillment. Will you?

Janelle

Girlfriend, you have a good head on your shoulders so how did you ever let your situation get this bad? You had your chance when you moved out of Meri and Kody’s house to keep on going and never look back. Oh well, you can’t unring the bell as they say. But you can make better decisions moving forward.

As an accountant you know that your Balance Sheet is supposed to, you know, balance. Your liabilities are not supposed to exceed your assets. Have you ever taken an honest look at you and your children’s assets and liabilities/equity within the extended Brown family? Maybe it’s time to do that as it might be an eye-opener.

You seem so stoic, almost to the point of suppressing emotion. Are you trying to hide your feelings about some things in your life? Did you know that you have the right to be happy in life and that being happy and fulfilled, in your personal relationships as well as at work, sets a good example for your kids?

Did you also know that you have the work skills, and calm rational demeanour to do well on your own? You are not weak and clueless, as you have implied a few times; you are very strong and many women admire you. Your kids have turned out great. You are calm and rational and girl, you are GORGEOUS!

Christine
Christine, you have such sincere religious convictions and it is admirable to be a woman of faith in what sometimes seems to be a faithless world. You know what is required of good husbands in your faith (and of good husbands in general). You know you are being shortchanged. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be married to someone who LOVES you and sincerely cares for your material, spiritual, and emotional well-being instead of leaving you to essentially fend for yourself. Do you know that such marriages are possible and, in fact, exist? Would you like your children to have the example of that kind of marriage, or the kind of marriage you are living now?

Have you ever longed for your family to really care about you and your health? Did you know that many families consider depression to be a disease just like an infection or diabetes, something that must be treated by a medical professional and they support their loved ones who require treatment (including medication when necessary) because they love their family member and want that family member to be happy and healthy? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be part of such a close-knit family?

Robyn

Beware. Kody will do to you with someone else what he did with you to Meri, Janelle and Christine.

Written by Terrasola

Now that the Brown's are in New York doing publicity  for their show and book, it will be interesting to see if any of the interviewers even touch on some of the thought-provoking questions like you have, Terrasola.

Thank you, and Welcome Back!
Cynical Jinx

29 comments:

  1. Good to see you again, Terrasola !!

    In a perfect world each of the wives would read your post (and their piece) and sincerely reflect on your thoughts.
    But alas, this is Kodyworld !!

    However, your words are poignant for each woman. If they are sneaking a peek at this Blog.....maybe some will get through.

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  2. Ah you were so easy on Robyn lol

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  3. Your 2nd paragraph to Meri is a classic. I wish all Kody's daughters could see it.

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  4. What made me sad is that as I read (yes, pelt me with stones, I bought the book), Janelle made her decision to marry Kody seem like a chess move. It was about convenience and perceived stability.

    You know, there are men out there that would love you and only you, Janelle. You are the total package.

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  5. Clarification question...I'm so confused on the timeline. When exactly did Janelle move out of the KB house?

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  6. hereswhatithinkMay 8, 2012 at 2:02 PM

    Here is why I think Janelle cannot escape - she is a victim of domestic abuse.
    When your choices are either avoid being home, or sit in your room alone - YOU ARE ABUSED. When someone belittles you because of your makeup, the way you clean the kitchen, or the way you prepare a meal - YOU ARE ABUSED. When you avoid speaking your mind to escape confrontation - YOU ARE ABUSED. When another parent belittles your child rearing skills, over disciplines your children, and comes between you and your spouse, YOU ARE ABUSED.

    Kody, future god and all, is more than happy to collect her paycheck and use her for sex, but he turns a blind eye to the (spousal? are sister wives spouses?) abuse Janelle describes, he is as abusive as the perpetrator. Janelle denies how bad it is because she cannot see clearly any more due to abuse. She checks out emotionally and just sits there looking miserable. There are two things about the AUB beliefs that trap her Kody is the one who will resurrect her, or, if she divorces she must marry "up," meaning marry a man with more than four wives. Either way is lose-lose for her.

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    1. I would consider it spousal abuse the way Meri has treated Janelle and Christine...your post made me realize that it's double for these women because not only are they being abused by Meri but also by Kody, who does nothing to stop it. I'm sure he loves every minute of it as a matter of fact, it's the greatest ego boost of all for him. It's so sad that Janelle is nothing more than just a paycheck and sex for Kody and just a paycheck for Meri....how demeaning. I wish Janelle could and would escape this life, she is far too smart & beautiful to have to settle for this, she definitely deserves better.

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    2. I think it goes beyond this marriage or her first marriage. You would have to know intimate details about her childhood and upbringing to know WHY Janelle is Janelle. Maybe she was not abused as a child, but she was not made to feel secured, loved, trusted. Her marriage to Meri's brother-no talk of it at all and it only lasted 4 months. If it was THAT BAD you would think she would have RUN FOR THE HILLS! Not turn around and be a sister wife to her former SIL. No, Janelle has a lot of insecurity issues. She knew to go get an education, her accounting degree, and she had the stable income.(kody-sales-no security). But it still was not enough to feel secure enough to stand on her 2 feet. The 1st 2 held hands, played lovely dovey under a blanket while she sat alone. Without out anyother facts, it would seem Janelle was brought on board for a stable income, benefits for Kody, etc. She even gave her paycheck to Meri for a while and just got an allowance back. HOW HUMILIATING!!!

      The house in Utah, that mortgage is in her name, and she has now used up whatever state pension she had to fund this MORONIC, IDIOTIC Nevada move. Most of us realize that Nevada was all Kody's idea, there was no threat of arrest of the family... if anything, a minor offense on Kody... he just wanted to move to LasVegas for YEARS-Christine had said this a number of times at interviews.

      Kody and Meri are a bunch of USERS... Sick, pathetic users who played on other womens feelings.

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  7. Terrasola,

    I'm new here so I'm not sure who everyone is, but evidently you were gone for a while so welcome back!

    I just wanted to say AMEN! You wrote what I would have said if I ever got a chance to say something to the Sister Wives for 5 minutes.

    Robyn - I may have said more to Robyn, but she's new in this, still in her wide-eyed, my life is wonderful, honeymoon stage so we all know she wouldn't listen anyway.

    I really wish Janelle and Christine could find that inner strength to leave. I think their children would be happier because their moms would be much happier. There's no reason they couldn't even stay in Vegas so the kids could see the other kids, but they do need to break away.

    Christine and Janelle both remind me of when I realized that I was dealing with major depression and finally had to break down and ask for help. It's amazing what some help does - ladies please think about trying to get some help! Please! It turned my life around and I do mean that in multiple ways.

    Thanks again for plowing through this book for us Jinx.

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  8. It's strange. In the very beginning of the show, I always felt sorry for Meri. She has that perpetual frown on her face at all times and it's always been clear that she's struggling inside. I always rooted for her to get smart and leave.

    Now, I feel that way about Christine and Janelle. Imagine the light we'd see coming from both of them if they broke out and started living more positive, 'free' lives.

    Robin, I just can't stand. She's one big walking contradiction...that likes to cry.

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  9. I am so tired of Meri. She acts innocent but she is as clever as they come. Her bills are paid, her house is quiet, she stuck it to Christine by finding Robyn, etc. I think Meri adds to the drama, sirs it, and then when she gets called on it, she lets another sister wife take the heat.

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  10. I watched an old episode on DVR recently, and I had to shake my head at the lines the wives say in the intro - "This makes each of us better." "I wanted the family, not just the man." "I think what we have is awesome." I wonder if, in light of the fact that everyone who watches the show knows that all of the above statements are BS, they'll re-shoot the intro to at least be somewhat honest with their viewers. Can they seriously invite us all in, show us what a mess they deal with every day, and still insist that this situation makes each of them "better?" Unless their definition of "better" is - we put up with daily pain, confusion, jealousy and loneliness, and the suppression of these emotions makes us "better."

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    1. Hmm.. how would you like the intro re-done... it sounds fun!

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  11. I am starting to think these people like being victims. They are "persecuted" and have this boo hoo sad discrimination history, and everything is always someone else's fault. And then they all bully each other, it's their normal. They're so mean to each other, who needs bullies?

    We play right into their little victim act, by speaking the truth, and they play the victim again. These people aren't ready for the spotlight if they can't handle a little blog.

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    1. They cant handle anything that Kody cant fully control. Someone needs to ask Kody what happened to that YouTube channel and/or why they have 2 facebook pages run by the same people.

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  12. Did Meri even come from a Mormon family. It was stated that Janelle married Meri's brother when he converted to LDS. Was he, and the family, not Mormon at all, or were they FLDS and converted back to LDS? Was Christine the only one who had experience with multiple marriage? Excluding Robyn from this mess.

    If Meri had not even been Mormon and then married Kody and had to take her ex-sister in law as a co-wife, it might show a reason why she is so mean. Wow. Totally messed up bunch. The only way out is OUT. Go Janelle and Christine. You are the ones who have value. Christine, take your meds. There was a point when I had to. I didn't like the way they made me feel, but they allowed me to succeed. You can come out on the other side of depression better, much better, than when you went in.

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    1. Hi BC!
      From Meri's (and Kody, ugh) chapter in Matrimony, she was originally LDS in California, her mother embraced the Principle when she was a baby and when she was 5 years old, her parents moved the family to Utah to be closer with others sharing their faith (AUB). Her father took his 2nd wife when she was 5 years, but she left after 2 years.

      So to also answer your question who had experience with plural marriage, Christine and Meri both saw plural marriage as children. Christine, of course, was born into the religion, but Meri not only saw her father bring in plural wives (he had 5 wives total) she also saw at least one leave. And don't forget Christine's mother eventually left, too.

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  13. Did anyone catch the SW on GMA ? http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/sister-wives-stars-shows-3rd-season-book-16294850

    Christine looks great.

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  14. I have a somewhat different perspective about this show and the reality *stars* it created. I think it is outrageous for the children to be photographed and set up in TH segments. That only seems to happen when trouble can be stirred up. The kids are siblings and should be able to discreetly air their differences, but this trash is on tv. Nothing good can come of that ~ and that is the fault of all the adults.

    Kody is just an embarrassement and a pathetic excuse for a human being. He flits around like a hyperactive 8 year old. His decision-making process is almost as mature as any 8 year old boy. His life is a teenage boys wet dream; a different bed every night of the week. The only mystery about this crew is how he managed to capture the attention of any woman, never mind 4. Excuse me while I shower.

    The women, with the exception of Meri, I refuse to call wives, are in no danger of being recruited by Mensa. The original 3 are horrifically obese and despite all of the freebies that come their way, for instance the personal trainer, just cannot or will not lose weight.

    Janelle is the only one who makes no sense at all. She did not grow up in polygamy. She is the only one with formal education beyond high school, although from what I have read her credentials are suspect. Who doesn't just say if asked, University of Indiana, Bloomington, class of '89? She participated in the bankruptcies and must have been aware of the welfare and food stamp schemes.

    I know people like Meri, who are still trying to figure it out after not grabbing the brass ring at some point before a mid-life crisis. Maybe I'll go back to school, wait, maybe I'll take Robyn up on her surrogacy offer, or maybe....on and on and on. Constant excuses for what, I don't know. You have money now Meri, thanks in large part to Robyn; you don't have to continue to draw attention to having no dreams to chase (other than Kody--how's that working out for ya?)

    Christine is just pathetic and needs a boatload of zoloft. That isn't meant to be mean; she seems like a nice lady who blames herself for getting screwed by Kody.

    Robyn, despite her lovely disposition, is at least looking for a better life. She doesn't appear to have the brains or skills to climb the ladder of success. And let's face it, she grew up in a compound and her idea of success is to marry well and have many, many kids so that some guy can take her to the planet of his choice in the afterlife where she can continue to be pregnant for all eternity. Neat. So she had the sense to dangle herself as bait to TLC and Kody, and now seems to have everything she ever wanted.

    And the best part is a rising tide lifts all boats. Kody, his wife, baby mommas, and kids at least aren't living in wretched poverty anymore. I hope that when the money is gone, there won't be any little kids left at home to suffer.

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  15. I love this show! I love how they stick together I love how they keep what they believe strong I think they are a beautiful family and it does not matter if they are born in this life stile or not it is what they are now they only one I can not stand what so ever is kody's new wife,she makes me want to smack her in the face

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  16. Hope it's ok to post this here, I ran across this tonight...Kody has a new reason for why he moved his family from Utah to Vegas which I thought was interesting. This guy wouldn't know the truth if it bit him in the ass.

    http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2012/05/tlc-sister-wives-kody-robyn-christine-janelle-meri-video-good-morning-america

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  17. Confess after hearing about the contents of the book via this blog I had to go back for a refresher.

    So very interesting. http://www.fastpasstv.ms/watch/?url=3uXn46ChlMzj6Nrf38fozsmi39%2Bi65aqmNjd2uLi6MvZ

    Is it just me or is Meri somewhat bombed in the convo in Mexico? ;) I thought LDS (and assumed it's offshoots) did NOT drink alcohol (or coffee for that matter.)

    Cheers and look forward to the next installment here on the SWB. The show coming up this weekend, not so much. Figure I can catch the highlights here ;)

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    1. I wondered about that too. When Meri and Kody are on their trip to Mexico and the Kodster brings up other ways to have a baby (sorry, can't remember if he talked about IVF or surrogacy) Meri is drinking what appears to be a Margarita. That scene creeped me out bc Kody reminded me of a creepy frat boy trying to get a girl drunk to take advantage of her. Only in Kody's case, he wants her to agree to have a baby. And it confused me bc I thought Mormons were not allowed to drink. The ick factor in that scene is disgusting.

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  18. Well well, Nightline just did a non-report report on the sisterwives. All the wives looked fine, grumpy Meri said she was alone on New Years Eve, Robyn said she invited Meri over and she didn't come, and guess whose turn it was for New Year's Eve? Right, he was with Christine. Meri was giving her daggers. How nice that Meri lost out. If you didn't see Nightline you didn't miss anything except the extra bit of nasty that was Meri. The report was very recently done, and she's still ticked off about New Years. Ha, she's ticked and I'm tickled.

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    1. Lmao...I saw it too BC & really wasn't that impressed either!!

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    2. Was the nightline a recent one? If it was, SHE IS STILL UPSET ABOUT NEW YEARS EVE??? Maybe there is some Poly rule or law that the wives alternate-UNLESS IT IS A FEDERAL HOLIDAY. See-Federal sort of means LEGAL in a twisted way, so since Meri is the LEGAL wife, OR, shall we say the FEDERAL WIFE, Meri should have Kody on all, what, 9 FEDERAL HOLIDAYS?

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    3. Naw, Meri is just a warped, jealous, biatch... NEW YEAR'S EVE???? I have not cared about NYE since... well I NEVER CARED ABOUT IT! What is her mentality? 'I'm having a hot date with MY MAN! AND you, Christine and Janelle AREN'T... and afterwards... we.are.going.back.to.our.bed........ she is like a jr. high bully

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    4. Federal Wife..lmao..priceless! Since Kody isn't going to be prosecuted for Polygamy then maybe he will be prosecuted for Welfare Fraud and have a new home in a Federal Prison, lol. Couldn't resist, sorry!!

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  19. I've watched this show since the onset. What I noticed that when Robyn came into the picture in my opinnion, everything changed. The three wives had lived peacefully for 16 years and now a much younger Robyn comes into the picture. Now it appears she wants to take over decisions and cause discord. I thought a lot of Kody before he married her. I think he was on an ego "want a younger wife" trip. Well he got her and they are suffering because of it in my opinion. I think she also lured him in to save her from being a "single" mother; it's a lose-lose but time will tell.

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