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Thursday, January 17, 2013

Real Housewives of Atlanta - Kody Brown Style




Ever wonder how Kody would hold up with the Real Housewives of Atlanta as his Plural family? Let’s take a look….

Kody: "LOVE should be MULTIPLIED, not DIVIDED."
Candy:  “No, its MONEY should be Multiplied, not Divided.”
Cynthia:  “What he’s dividing up sure ain’t worth it child.”
Phaedra:  “Hmm…, might be interesting, but I am a southern lady, not a Mormon one honey.”
Kim:  “Hell ya! I’ve done that before, long as the pay is good!”
NeNe:  (Making gagging face) “That boy is going to make me puke! Sicko! Close your legs to married men!”

Kody: “I feel like a boy toy!”
Candy:  “Well first you put in the sugar and make it sticky….”
Cynthia:  “So not in this conversation, his ‘boy’ is about as big as a ‘toy’.”
Phaedra:  “But the powdered sugar makes it sweet!”
Kim:  "Shut the front door!" "And the back one!"
NeNe:  “Listen, I’d never put Kool-Aid, candied yams, peppermint candy, SHUT UP!!! THAT IS SO STUPID”!

Kody: I’m 'proselyting' my dogma: “The more kids the bigger the planet, the greater the king I will be!.”
Candy:  "Say Whhhaaat?"
Cynthia: "I’d rather take my chances then follow that boy.”
Phaedra:  “Venus and Mars honey, Venus and Mars.”
Kim:  “What in the F$#% is a Dogma?”
NeNe:  (To Kim) “He’s talking about you on a good day, BI%^&!”

KODY: "He's a brother from another mother and she's a sister from the same mister"
Candy:  “And who ain’t in Atlanta?”
Cynthia:  “And you are not get another mother with a dang blister, that’s all I’m saying.”
Phaedra:  “Every saint has a past and ever sinner a future.”
Kim:  “Well that ring didn’t mean a thing!”
NeeNee:  “Oooh, squeezing my Hello Kitty SHUT!”

Kody: Where’s Mare, my lover?
Candy:  “I think you put her out to pasture long ago.”
Cynthia:  “Galloping far away if she’s smart!” "She's leading by a chin."
Phaedra:  “You mean the one with a bathing suit on that looks like a pretzel dipped in cottage cheese?”
Kim:  “B$T%^ is over at my house trying to steal my Versace China!” 
NeNe:  “Don’t you mean your project manager?”

Kody: "Hey NeNe, do you want to give your leftover house money to Kim?"
Candy:  “Glad I got my own empire, and a pre-nup.”
Cynthia:  “This should be gooooddd child, yes NeNe, do you?”
Phaedra:  “Oh lawd, I’m taking something that takes the edge off before I scream or poop on myself”!
Kim:  “Hell ya!”
NeNe:  “I’ll snap your neck and make your eyeballs pop out, I ain’t playin! When you was running your mouth, I was running to the bank! SHUT UP! You take your finite resources and put them where the sun don’t shine! I’m the rich, bitch!!Bloop bloop!”

"To me, dating a divorced woman had an ICK factor"
Candy:  “Well, dating you made me make toys if you get my drift.”
Cynthia:  “Don’t you mean cold-sore factor?”
Phaedra:  “Well I wanted a CLEAN man!”
Kim:  “Oh hell, what’s next, world peace?”
NeNe:  “You can take your Keep Sweet, Validate, lifestyle, autonomy, Plural, raggidity ass right back to Yoming, you ghetto fool. Watch out, you’ll end up in the ocean.”

Kody: "I got a bomb I am dropping today: I PICKED THE DRESS!"
Candy:  "Are we sure he isn’t wearing the dress?”
Cynthia:  “And it shows, that’s all I’m saying’”
Phaedra:  “Now why would a proper southern man want to pick out a dress?”  
Kim:  “Mine was better B$%$^.’
NeNe:  “And she’s got a whole lot up in that dress, a dead poppa, wigs, Victoria’s Secret, Std’s, grifters,  bills,  Ora-gel,  plans to marry up, Who knows what else?”  “Oh and serendipity and buzz!”

Kody: "I NEED to be obeyed!"
Candy:  “Me and mom don’t play, you hear me!”
Cynthia:  “That boy is barking up the wrong trees.” 
Phaedra:  “Why do these other women cry over such a rude man?”
Kim:  (pointing to boobs) “My girls don’t obey anyone in the poorhouse!”
NeeNee:  “Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya~! THAT IS SO STUPID, SHUT UP, BLOOP BLOOP! How many times do I have to tell your dumb ass this?”

Shout out to Caramel Brownie for her great picture above!!
 
Now your turn…. Let’s hear your Atlanta Housewives/Kody conversations!

80 comments:

  1. Love to hear their comments if they found out Kody belongs to a racist church that believes African Americans are cursed and that marrying one is one of the worst sins on this planet!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What was Robyn's married name? Wasn't she a Jeff?

      Delete
    2. No, her married name was Jessop.

      Delete
  2. I literally laughed out loud a couple times. I don't like any of the house wives franchises but let's be real. From the little I have seen they come across strong willed. As we all no any woman with that degree of self love would crush kody brown.

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  3. Paedra: A broke down ass boy! Me and my donkylicous booty are outta here!

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  4. Will put my thinking cap on, but realistically, don't envision coming anywhere near this brilliant and just plain **hysterical** parody.

    BRAVO !!!! BRAVO !!!!

    My fav......
    "Kody: Where’s Mare, my lover?
    Candy: “I think you put her out to pasture long ago.”
    Cynthia: “Galloping far away if she’s smart!” ***"She's leading by a chin."******
    Phaedra: “You mean the one with a bathing suit on that looks like a pretzel dipped in cottage cheese?”
    Kim: “B$T%^ is over at my house trying to steal my Versace China!”
    NeNe: “Don’t you mean your project manager?”

    Still laughing......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Amused. i wasn't going to use it, then Cynical liked it so I did!

      Delete
    2. Then let Cynical be your agent !!!!

      Actually, BOTH of your could team up and write TOP of the line comedy/satire.

      Still laughing.......

      Delete
    3. But then again, you both already have teamed up here at SWB.
      And we are all very fortunate that you two did !! :))))

      Delete
  5. Mister Sister, you have outdone yourself! Love it! I couldn't think of a conversation but what if Kim gave Kody one of her wigs? I wonder if he would constantly be saying a la Kim "My wig better stay on for this." I still see her friend holding her wig on when she was working out on DBTFTW. Maybe Meri could help him out-oh now I need the brain bleach lol. Anyway, love this blog although I do get in trouble with the hubs from time to time for wasting too much time!

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    Replies
    1. Kim and the wigs.... GREAT! Kim cussing Kody out over being in her wig closet!LOL

      Delete
  6. Shucks - I watch the Beverly Hills version. I'd love to see any of the Real Housewives take a shot or two at Kody, though. He'd be weeping in the corner pulling at his golden locks within mere minutes.

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    Replies
    1. I am a RHBH fan so I too, would like to see Brandi Glanvile gives the SW's a lesson in taking charge. Although I think Kody is pretty hen pecked already.I feel a little sorry for him.

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    2. Brandi handed her husband over to the other woman without a fight for the sake of her boys. Then cried to his mistress how she ruined her life. If anything she's exactly like the sisterwives.

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    3. Why would you fight to keep a cheater?

      Delete
  7. Paedra: No way could my man split his time with other women. This donkeylicious booty is a full time job. Listen? (pause) Did you hear that? The booty agrees!

    Kenya: (Desperate for a man) Kody is Gone With The Wind fabulous! *twirls* Gone With The Wind Fabulous! *twirls*

    ReplyDelete
  8. Peanut Butter FritosJanuary 17, 2013 at 1:32 PM

    Haha! This made me laugh out loud. I can't even imagine in reality Kody encountering strong, self-sufficient women like this.

    Kody: Hotlanta is giving me swampass.
    Kandi: Your night, girl.
    Cynthia: Oh, hell no, I know Russell Simmons.
    Phaedra: Girl, I think I'd rather take Dwight.
    NeNe: You touch me, I'm going to wear that wig off your head, trashy hooker.
    Kim: Who doesn't have swampass?

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    Replies
    1. So funny! i loved your NeNe line. Sounds just like her.

      Delete
    2. Peanut Butter FritosJanuary 17, 2013 at 9:09 PM

      I only watch reunion shows -- they remind me of Sister Wives. That was Nene's line to Kim in one of them.

      Delete
  9. Run, Plyglets, Run!January 17, 2013 at 1:38 PM

    I haven't watched RHOA in years (only recognize Kim and NeNe) but these ladies are soooo far out of the Kodster's universe. Put the "Big Man from Lehi" on this show and before the first commercial break he'd be curled up in the fetal position under a table, rocking back and forth, muttering incoherently. Much later, when they realize he's missing, they'll set little bowls of mock tapioca on the floor and try to gently coax him out, mostly so someone can clean up the mess he's made on the rug. While they're waiting for the doctor, Kim will head round the back of the house with a shovel... Queue previews for next week...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Run, Plyglets, Run!January 17, 2013 at 2:04 PM

      Oops, that should be 'cue'. This page had me laughing so hard, I couldn't see straight!

      Delete
  10. This post is hilarious, I read it while envisioning each of the girls and cracked up I watch both shows and you nailed it. Can't get the Nene line "shut up. Your stupid. Bloop bloop out of my head. Love the blog

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  11. LOL! In his dreams! Those women would eat him alive! He wouldn't know what hit him.....it would almost be funny to see him interact with any of those ladies...the first time he gave one of them his "dirty looks"...he would find himself out on the porch banging on the door trying to get back in!

    Thanks for the laugh!

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    Replies
    1. I think the first time Kody gave any one of these women his Franken-confused dirty look, he'd be looking for his teeth, two counties over.

      Delete
  12. GREAT! Love it!!
    I remember Phaedra carrying on about Cynthia's body looking like cottage cheese! Oh please, can you do the BH and the NJ Real Housewives??
    I'll take a stab:
    Kody: "My Hair is My Fifth Wife."

    Candy: "Do we really have to put up with this fool? Where's Denzil?"
    Cynthia: "And your mouth is your biggest enemy."
    Phaedra: "Well honey, looks to me (eying body) you need my workout-hair don't mean nothing if there's no boody behind it."
    Kim: "Kody, admit it, you've got my wig on, now give me Farrah back!'
    NeNe: "And you need to get a life!"

    BTW, saw on Sister Wives facebook where someone said they read this blog.

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  13. I don't watch the Housewives either, but how about having these ladies school the Brown "wives" on what's up in the real world! LOL!!

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  14. Don't know if Kodster reads this blog, but I would bet he loves to see his photo with the likes of Real Housewives! He would love to see himself with some hot mammas. all about ego for him, but sadly, the RH won't populate the planet for him. They would set him straight.....straight out the door!

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  15. Never watched any of housewives shows. Still laughed. Mister Sister u have quite the sense of humor. Love it. Anyway Meri will need her wet bar after reading todays blog. Lets hope kody stocks it for his mere.

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  16. Best. Post. Ever.

    Bloop bloop!

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  17. and btw, OMG this OT is fricking hilarious. there is brilliance happening on this blog.

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  18. Excellent job! I really needed the laugh today!

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  19. I don't watch RHOA but I will, just to see the humor in this.

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  20. FANTASTIC POST!! I could actually hear the RHOA saying those things. ROFLMBO!

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    Replies
    1. Many of the quotes are things the ladies have said - FANTASTIC!!!! GREAT POST!!!

      Delete
  21. Kody: "I want them to have their autonomy!"
    Kim: "Is Big Papa paying for that s**t cause I don't f****** pay for anything!"
    Nee-Nee: "Kim better watch out cause I hear they don't have a vaccination for that!"
    Keyna: "I AM Miss Autonomy, Got it?!"
    Phaedra: "Me and Apollo gonna cook up some funky donkey with a side of that Autotonommmmy!"
    Porsha:"Picture me with perfect autonomy!"
    Kandi: "Sista wife....Is that anywhere near Buckhead?"

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    Replies
    1. Oops.. I pooped myself. Toooo funny. I only watch quality shows such as sister wives but, lived down South and it be like that huney. His hare looks like he needs to get a weave or some dreads. Ummm hummm...
      I really want someone to ask Boo Boos mama what her Southern woman take is on all of it.

      Delete
  22. Let's keep comments on topic with RHOA.

    There is still room for comments on the
    'Sister Wives’ lawsuit coming back to Utah courtroom post.

    I have only moved the first 3 comments concerning the hearing to the above post. Please make any future comments concerning the hearing on the appropriate post.

    Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Funny, intelligent, and witty as all the SWB posts are. Great job to all!

    Kody: "I NEED to be obeyed!"

    Kim: Mister Sister!! Cynical Jinx!! SWEEEETTIE!!! Where's those girls when you need them?

    NeNe: Probably having a damn life, more than we are during this mess, (had to add my favorite line) SHUT UP! YOU SO STUPID! BLOOP BLOOP!!!
    That line is now a classic!!!

    I also love the sugar post... I remember that from Phaedra being pregnant talk. Old dead poppa up in there another classic!!!
    Just wanted to say, love you gals here at SWB!

    LOVE LOVE LOVE this site! So much better than many mainstream. you are in on the joke of it all. You are a great team, and we appreciate it.

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  24. Terrific! You gals make my day! Great job, Mister Sister!

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  25. Where are all the kids? With 5 wives there should be quite a few.

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  26. I PICKED THE DRESS!January 18, 2013 at 5:57 AM

    I have never seen a real housewives show but this was still hilarious. This blog is my new addiction! Keep it coming!

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  27. Just needed to say I don't watch any of the housewives but it was still hysterical!!! This forum is my must read every morning with my coffee!!! You all rock.

    BTW IF they ever take Sister wives off the air you guys will find another show to do this for I'm certain of it and I will follow :)

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  28. Since you all liked this, we may write one up for the RHOBH, RHOOC, and RHONJ.
    If you'd like to help, send us your best "quotes" from the ladies, and we might use them!
    Example - I can't believe I forgot booty licious for Phaedra, or the work out tape!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Kody -- We found grace in Sin City.
    Candy -- hmm. That's the place for it alright!
    Cynthia -- Where did you find that bad hairstyle, it wasn't Milan.
    Phaedra -- Grace, according to the bible, is something you get when you don't deserve it, so yes, I'd say he's correct there.
    Kim-- Receive and Believe!
    NeNe-- Where'd you find that big ass head? Mount Rushmore?

    ReplyDelete
  30. Sooo funny! Mister Sister, great job! #TeamMS&CJ all the way~!!

    ReplyDelete
  31. HA! Finally get it now, I have read this 3 times, but missed this is what NeNe said about Kim's Storage unit, (or parts of it)...hysterical!

    “And she’s got a whole lot up in that dress, a dead poppa, wigs, Victoria’s Secret, Std’s, grifters, bills, Ora-gel, plans to marry up, Who knows what else?”

    I LOVED THIS!! I too have been going around saying, SHUT UP BLOOP BLOOP!!

    Can't wait for the other versions! I second anony above with #teamsisterwivesblog

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  32. I find it humorous to think of Kody saying ONE line of his with any of the housewife women. Spending a weekend with them, like an above poster said, would have him dumbfounded.

    I am late to the party... and want to say the latest review was GREAT too!!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Hilarious! Kody wouldn't last a hot minute with any one of those ladies.

    I'm off-topic, but I just started reading Beooming Sister Wives (checked it out from library) and I'm a little surprised at Meri's description of herself in the first chapter. She says she was SO quiet and shy, that even though she had been involved in the same church since she was 5 years old, most people did not know who she was until she was an adult and dating Kody. Because he was so outgoing and the center of attention, Meri got noticed. Why I am confused, is, didn't Meri say that the reason she and Janelle didn't get along and Janelle felt "abused" by Meri in their early days sharing a home, was because Meri had been raised to express her opinions and "had a louder voice" ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why I am confused, is, didn't Meri say that the reason she and Janelle didn't get along and Janelle felt "abused" by Meri in their early days sharing a home, was because Meri had been raised to express her opinions and "had a louder voice" ?

      Just another inconsistancy between the book and the show. I suspect she was a 'wallflower' at church because people didn't like her overbearing and selfish ways, which rubbed people the wrong way. They most likely avoided her like the plague.

      In keeping with her TV persona, it's much simpler and PC to say 'I've been raised to express my opinions. I have a louder voice than you, Janelle" than the more truthful, "I am a mean, selfish *itch. Don't mess with me Janelle!"

      Delete
  34. This is hilarious & genius! I was cracking up! Guess I need to rewatch RHOA, so I can be up to speed. Like others on here, I too was imagining each of the cast members saying the dialogue...Lol

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  35. CelestialHairplugsJanuary 18, 2013 at 6:12 PM

    Bwhahaha!!!! Funny!!

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  36. Hilarious. I love the part about Robyns dress. I would pay to see Kody survive a night with any of the HW's. Real Housewives of planet Kody.

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  37. Any idea on when review of Q&A will be out? Not watching show anymore. Losing steam on all things Sister Wives. Just wanted to get full and final closure on this. Also loved the white background. How do I make that permanent?
    Thank you for listening. I sincerely appreciate all you guys

    ReplyDelete
  38. I think the Sister Wives should meet "19 kids and counting" mom Michelle Duggar. Michelle could teach them how to save money and how to get along with everyone. If TLC reads this I would watch the show. When their $$ runs out they can team up with Gail Vaz-Oxlade on how to get out of debt. So funny this post of RHOA makes my day!

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  39. Mary Lou - Idea noted and will use! Thank you!

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  40. Are there any other HOT topics we could blog about.....I too, am running out of steam with SW. But appreciate your hard work and time spent here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Personally, I can't think of two more "hot" topics than the possible decriminalization of polygamy and the possible foster care debacle going on in Colorado City - the welfare of innocent children unfamiliar with FLDS and being placed smack dab in a city ran by them.
      But if you have any ideas, let us know!

      Delete
    2. You just lose steam and it is overdone when this group of grifters can get four mortgages of approx $450,000 each while the rest of us work our collective butts off to make it every day. They've openly broken the law and now they're thumbing their noses at everyone. Put another face on polygamy because the Browns are only in it for the fame (hahaha.....they only think they're famous) and the money. They will most certainly lose all 4 of their precious McMansions as soon as TLC drops them. Then all of us will be working our butts off to pay for this group again. It's not right, it's not fair and I'm sick of the Browns. It's time for us to get this group cancelled. I love this blog and I appreciate everyone's time and effort but let's get the Browns off the air please. Time for a new family that truly wants to live the lifestyle not this group

      Delete
  41. As an avid viewer of the SW & RHW franchises, I find it ironic (not iconic, LOL) that the "sister wives" consider themselves "strong women." Strong women are women like Phaedra and Cynthia. Business minded women who are intelligent and more than capable of self-sufficientcy should they encounter: death, disability or divorce. On the other hand these self professed "strong women" would all be on welfare assistance should they face: death, disability or divorce. Even the familys so called breadwinner would not be able to afford child care on the salary she is cappable of. It sets a very poor example. Their mothers never taught them never to have more children than they can arrof on their own.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Corrections:

      Capable not cappable.

      Their mothers never taught them to have more children than they can care for on their own.

      For some reason, when I am on my phone I can not always scroll down to see what I am posting, before I post it.

      Sorry for the errors.

      ~Lisa/SadViewer

      Delete
  42. HYSTERICAL! Loved it!

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  43. Last night on "2 Broke Girls," a joke was made that they better hitch a ride west and become a sister wife. Lol. Wonder if that was a generalization or was it a poke at our sister wives. Lol

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  44. I would love to see the RHOA ladies EAT HIM UP! In fact, any of the shows would probably scare him to death.

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  45. One night with NeNe. That's my wish for Kody! Actually Christine and Robyn could be swayed by NeNe and that would make his life hell. Either hysterical!

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  46. Funny! I used to thunk these
    adies were shallow, the the Brown group makt the Atlanta ladies look like hard workers!!

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  47. Kody: "I had Post Stress after the move!
    Candy: “Was that stress in Disneyland?”
    Cynthia: “The only stress that boy has is when he's at my house”
    Phaedra: “He should be stressing over his bank acct., 'cause he ain't getting none of mine!”
    Kim: "Stress is living in a house under 10,000 sq feet!"
    NeeNee: “Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya~! THAT IS SO STUPID, SHUT UP, BLOOP BLOOP! How many times do I have to tell your dumb ass this?” (Had to repeat that one! LOVE THESE!!!!

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  48. Cute? Are we going to see the REal Housewives of Beverly Hills?

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  49. I love the RHOA!!!! So amusing!

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