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Friday, March 9, 2012

The Dargers: Emotional Attraction In Relationships From A Polygamous Man’s Perspective, Variety: The Spice of Life, and My New Boyfriend

The Dargers may know how to craft a catchy title to their online posts, but Good Lord! These people are totally totally from a different planet. Literally.

Joe Darger offers up his treatise on 'Emotional Attraction In Relationships From A Polygamous Man’s Perspective'.

An excerpt:
It is true that we look at relationships quite different than much of society does. Yet our relationship is quite traditional in many respects, and the components that have helped make our relationship successful I believe, can help any relationship. One of those things that are different in our relationship is less of an emphasis on the sexual connection.

While I would not down play the importance of a sexual relationship in a marriage, for many people it is the foundation of their relationship. We look at it differently. If you have read Love Times Three you know our values against premarital sex for example, and the lengths we went to build an emotional and spiritual attraction. It is the idea of emotional attraction that I want to talk about today.

Excuse me, but how many children has this man sired with three woman, and he can STILL write this stuff with a straight face?

Don't forget to savor the overly huge picture of his wives, and that salacious photo of a couple "communicating". Here it is just in case it should mysteriously disappear, if you know what I mean.

Next is the article written by Valarie. All right, she was talking about an ice cream recipe.

As Valarie puts it "...Variety really is the spice of life but there is something to be said for comfort foods....I found out that home-made ice cream as well as polygamy is a generational thing in my family...How did they have enough ice, and how did they keep it cold?" You know, Valarie, I have often stayed up late at night thinking the same thing. And it's interesting to note that there is just one ice cream recipe (using white milk and pasteurized eggs because it's not cooked) but the variety comes when the cook adds mix-ins. Unfortunately, Valarie doesn't explain what the mix-ins are, but I guess it can be a variety of fruits, vegetables and Grape Nuts.

In probably the most tasteless post ever posted to a blog (and not written by either me or Lourdes Ritz-Carlton) Alina offers up what she does on those lonely nights when Joe is out of town or practicing communicating with her sisterwife cousins.

Here's an excerpt (sans the picture of Alina in bed with her new 'boyfriend'):

Vicki gave me an anniversary gift wrapped in shiny paper with a big bow and a very kind, sincere letter attached. In the letter she expressed, “Please accept this gift as a token of my appreciation for you and understanding that I know how challenging it can be to ‘share’ sometimes. This won’t necessarily make it easier but might ‘comfort’ you at times."
Don't forget to read the comment from Janey, whose observation was SPOT ON if not well received by the other commenters. It's too bad the Browns didn't think of this as one of their business ventures. I'm sure Janelle could hook up with new friend Phil and score some Phildoes and make a REAL boyfriend experience, if you know what I mean.

You know, as I think about this a little longer, maybe the Darger sisterwives aren't aware of the message they are sending to Joe. They are lonely, and they want some variety in their life. Sad, isn't it?

Well, its time for me to catch the plane back to my planet so I can eat some chocolate ice cream and  do some communicating with my 'boyfriend'. Here are the links:





  1. CJ,

    Hard to wrap one's head around this group's philosophies.
    On one hand, sex is NOT an issue.....
    Instead, quoting Joe Darger, they focus on the "the lengths we went to build an emotional and spiritual attraction"....

    But then.... they want *the public to know* that the wives gift each other with dildos "as appreciation for knowing how hard it is to share"....*sexually*
    And ice cream recipes....

    Could this group get any more ridiculous?
    Just like the Browns in their self-documented banality, do the Dargers sisters really have nothing more intelligent or productive to offer other than ice cream hints and dildo reports ??
    Really?? That is sad !!

  2. Retracting my "dildo" comments.....clicked on links after posting...it wasn't that.
    Okay, a pillow with an arm.

    Still sad...

    1. Yes, it is truly sad. It seems to me this polygamist man has NO idea the effect of polygamy on women. He may talk the good talk about it being 'more' than physical or about sex, but that's what it boils down to, in reality. All those children are the proof. His women's job is 1)to look good for him, 2) to leave him alone when he comes home, 3)to take a number if they want to have a meaningful conversation with him and 4)be emotionally available for him so they can have great sex.

    2. That is exactly how that post struck me too.

      And you KNOW if he appreciates them making the effort to look desirable for him you can bet each sister wife is constantly comparing her self to the others, human nature right? Not so health. That has to add a level of competition to it all.

      I have no doubt that they also try to outdo each other in the bedroom too. Win/Win for Joe!


    3. Sorry, not so 'healthy'.

      Have already been doubted as being a scientist by a commenter on the Darger Blog, (oh and also 'naive and young' bless you stupid commenter, blush..) do not want to add bad speller to the equation! ;)


  3. Its a good thing I'm not a polygamist because I would be upset if my sisterwife gave me a anniversary gift of a pillow with an arm for me to hold when our husband was away.

    And did you read the comment from the one polygamist who said she isn't jealous of her sisterwife because all THREE of them sleep in the same bed??? What kind of perverted crap is that?

  4. If you're a polygamist woman there is no way you're getting your emotional needs met. I have a wonderful, supportive, caring husband but he's still a guy and i still have to repeat myself like ten times to be heard and no offence polygamist men BUT just because you're able to procreate like rabbits does not make you good, attentive parents. Except for "legitimizing" having sex with multiple female partners there is no benefit to polygamy, certainly not for women...

    1. Oh no anon! Don't you get it?! These Poly Men Gods treat their women like GOLD! They are men of God and do everything so much better than any other husband/father!

      (OK I think I threw up a bit in my mouth just kidding about it..)

      But yes, I too question a religion that places a Polig marriage as being next to Godliness and one that will enable them to be God's or Goddesses in the afterlife. But then I don't have a huge respect for organized religion in general. This one just freaking over the top!

      Have a harem of wives who do your bidding, all good for the man but what about the women who have to overcome their jealousy on a day to day basis. And to hear the woman speak of it they point it out as a good thing. Something they need to work through and deal with to be more worthy of God. What about the kids who have so many siblings their time with their father is a rare event?

      Ok. Or just marry one guy and have the self respect to expect he will love and cherish only YOU? (And if he isn't kick his butt to the curb with all of the legal resources to ensure he financially takes care of those kids). I do not feel the need to test my jealousy level on a day to day basis thanks. I am more worthy of that.

      Sure I would be a jealous bitch it my husband was sleeping with someone else x nights a week. What intelligent woman would not expect that right in this day and age?

      As for the other benefits the Sister Wives of this religion speak of? I can take care of my kids just fine without a sisters help now that they are older and in school, a choice we made together, was a stay at home mother. I can also cook/clean (just as my husband can and does) as well as work outside the home. Would I want someone in my home doing what I do? Putting up with a ton kids I don't have to? Not on your life!

      To each their own but for Poly Wives out there I just feel very, very sorry for you.

  5. This guy can't be as dumb as he sounds, can he?? Can he???

    Must be nice to always have them competing for you. Everything you do is always great, amazing!

  6. Why thank you. I never went back to see what the response to my comment was but now will. I just felt so sad for that woman and her 'boyfriend pillow'.


  7. This concept of willing sharing your sex-life with other women IS hard to fathom.

    And in the Darger's world, that means sharing your sex-life with your *sister and your cousin*...so it also means sharing DNA that makes your collective children *siblings* AND also *first and/or second cousins.*
    That's taking *sharing* to a whole new level...!!

    You have to wonder if and what the kids will think about that as they get older and see that reality.

    1. I just had this vision of a singles meet-and-greet for young adults. Everyone in the community would need to bring in copies of their family tree to compare with potential mates. Or color coded nametags so you can spot your relatives right away before the dancing starts.

    2. In polygamous Mormon communities inbreeding is a problem (I think, in the FLDS everyone in the Colorado City/Hilldale area can pretty much trace themselves back to the two founders of Short Creek). Fumarase deficiency is pretty high in poly communities.

  8. This post by the women in Joe Darger's cheer squad completely misses the point. Yes, emotional ties are really important, but the problem is that in polygamy when a woman needs that time with her man, to talk or to build her relationship with him, he is frequently missing in action with some other woman. When you need to talk, he just isn't there. And that photo they used - please! Some kind of Freudian slip to let us know what this is all about for Joe?

    1. ".....to let us know what this is all about for Joe?"

      Uhh, yeah, it's quite clear how Joe likes his "women" to look.
      Since all three made sure the shoes were *on display*....Foot fetish there, Joe???

  9. Love the cleavage on their blog....and the f#ck me boots.

  10. Hahahahahaha...pillow with an arm...that pic just cracked me up!!! Talk about a gag gift.....lol hell if I received that as a gift, I would seriously bitch slap the person who gave it to me w/ the pillow arm....LOL!!!
    Also, I guess showing naked arms & legs in public is ok w/ the Dargers? Or do they not share same religious views as other polygamists or are they the exception just like ALL of them seem to think they are??
    Well, one thing for sure, it seems like the Darger gals take way better care of themselves, physically, more than the Browns...now emotionally, they're all still on the same f**k'd up level, just some more than others....smh...lol

  11. This guy has everything all figured out. He read a self-help book, y'all! He's an expert. The Browns seem much more harmless because Kody is such a joke that it's hard to imagine this kind of hardcore, patriarchal attitude.

    What a nightmare to have to live with this ego. You can just boss women about when to speak and when to take a number about "raising his stress." I guess Joe keeps his women in line with the whining and the peanut butter Fritos.

    I have no idea what "emotions" are getting him so aroused, yuck, clearly not the kind that require actual attention or respect. Probably because every night is a rose ceremony on the Bachelor, and he always wins!