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Thursday, March 7, 2013

#polygamistpickuplines










Troy's is the best! Do you have a polygamist pickup line?

68 comments:

  1. Joe Darger wants this trending? Weird.

    Want to be clinically depressed your entire life? Life full of jealousy, rage, and envy?

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  2. "Hi. I know what you're thinking, but I swear I am not gay. I mean, I have FOUR wives!! Can I put my stink on you?"

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  3. #Polygamistpickuplines hi! Tell me, you don't read Sister Wives Blog, now do you?

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  4. #Polygamistpickuplines How'd you like to have your very own planet? Forget naming a star after you!

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  5. OhHH! I can;t wait for what some of our creative commenters write (like CB, TS, CJ, BC, and Am - you know who you are!) My feeble attempt is:

    "Hey Baby, want to be our Gal(for)Friday(s)?

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  6. Like Beans? #Polygamistpickuplines

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  7. #Polygamistpickuplines... homes with wetbars are really nice....

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  8. Would you like to have some extra best friends? They could be like sisters.

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  9. "Hey baby, How would you like to have my 20 children?" By yourself? "I promise to get you your own planet"

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  10. #Polygamistpickuplines... Do you like to flee your home under the guise of religious persecution?

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  11. #polygamistpickuplines...Wanna rotate?

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  12. #polygamistpickuplines.. Do you feel a serendipitous buzz going on?
    Can I speak of my Dogma?
    I love you... I hardly know you... let's get married, but play pretend... you know, like you did with barbies!

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  13. #polygamistpickuplines...So, what degree of cousin are you?

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  14. #Polygamistpickuplines... You rock a long-sleeve T-shirt and baby doll tank like no one else. Please tell me you don't eat nachos.

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  15. HA! Love them all! Can't wait to see what comes next out of our group on this one!

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  16. #polygamistpickuplines...Hey, we just met you and this is crazy, but here's our numbers, so call us maybe.

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  17. #polygamistpickuplines. Now, I'm the King of the Swingers,
    I'm a Vegas VIP
    I've reached the top
    And had to stop
    And that's what's botherin' me
    I wanna be a man not a man cub
    And stroll right into town
    So come and be my 5th wife
    We'll do some monkeying around.
    Slept into Debt

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  18. #polygamistpickuplines,

    ** Horny, balding, rodent-eyed, dim-witted, near-Neanderthal boy-man seeks
    equally dim, fashion-challenged, carb-loving, female sycophant for celestial journeying **

    *Tired or obsolete ovaries need not apply.*
    *Knowledge of the welfare system a definite plus.*


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    Replies
    1. *Tired or obsolete ovaries need not apply*

      DAMN!!! Hahahahahaha....U had me cracking up Amused :)

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    2. "Knowledge of the welfare system a definite plus." This is completely awesome. This would definitely save time on training the new wife on the ins and outs of government aid. "Just sayin."

      Delete
  19. #polygamistpickuplines:

    "Hey there sister, I can be your mister & make you one of my many wives"

    "For a brainwashing good time, let me introduce you to my CULT-ure"

    "You are the added beauty in bleeding the beast"

    "Girl I want you to be a part of my brood team: The Harem Globetrotters"

    "Got any sisters or cousins who would like to join & expand our family wreath?"

    "Plyg lifestyle is the new religion. Church & God are optional"

    "Got MLM? Get your buzz on & get you some"





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  20. "Hi, my wife thinks you're really cute. Are you single?"

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  21. "Are you and your daughter dating anyone?"

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    Replies
    1. and grandaughter....

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  22. "Will you marry me? We could share a hair stylist!"

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  23. "Did anyone ever tell you that you look like one of my future wives?"

    "I seem to have lost all four of my home phone numbers...can I borrow yours?"

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    Replies
    1. This one made me laugh for at least five minutes. Thanks for making my day.

      Delete
  24. "Does this smell like Abreva to you?"

    "Can I borrow a quarter? I wanna call my moms and tell them I met one of the girls of my dreams"

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  25. #polygamistpickuplines
    If you don't agree to be my wife, an angel with a drawn sword will zap me (Joseph Smith)
    Warren had a revelation (FLDS)
    I had a revelation (Practicing AUB guy)
    I felt a buzz (Kody pick up line)
    I already got a cousin and a pair of twins,but I'm always up for another close relative (Joe Darger)
    I know you're only thirteen and you're my step daughter but....(Tom Greene)

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  26. Whose your baby Daddy? (FLDS)
    Who is your Daddy this week? (FLDS)
    That dress make your hair look real big!
    Let you hair down and I'll let you wash my feet with it.
    I know how to satisfy all my wives and I still have more to give.
    So what if you don't love me now, you'll learn to love me in the afterlife.

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  27. #polygamistpickuplines

    What did Kody promise Robyn?
    "I'll make all your dreams come true!"

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    Replies
    1. This just made me gag... I think I puked a little!!! uuuggg... excuse me while I go brush and rinse!!

      Delete
  28. Ever heard the term, the more the merrier?

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  29. Is that a welfare application in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

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  30. Can I have a picture of you? I want to show Santa (and my other three wives) what I want for Christmas.

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  31. Stick with me baby, and our lives will be filled with mock tapioca till the end of time!

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  32. Bwahahahahahaa You people are so incredibly creative and funny! And so right on!Thank you for making me laugh, even when I'm disgusted with the Kodites...
    Kody will probably use some of your pick-up lines in the near future!

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    Replies
    1. That wouldn't surprise me. He's about as creative as a chunk of asphalt.

      "Love should be multiplied, not divided."

      Sure, as long as you're male. If you're female, you get a divided portion of a husband. But he gets to own you.

      Delete
    2. What was it that Kody said to Meri when she inferred the reverse situation in season one...the idea repulsed him?

      Can you explain to me why if Joseph Smith didn't have children with other women, why this is such a big requirement?

      No other FM group is following this diet, are they?

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    3. I checked wikipedia today and was very surprised to find out that it has never been proven that JS had children with anyone but his wife Emma! It does make me wonder where the whole "spirit children needing to come to earth born to righteous parents" idea I read about came from. Another puzzle that leaves me shaking my head about the FM beliefs! (I did not check my facts before writing a response to Anon 3/9 at 9:27's comment last night, and I appreciate the moderators of SWB didn't publish my wrong information. It's really good to know the fact-checking that goes on behind-the-scenes at SWB. Thankyou!)

      I certainly don't know, but would imagine that only those who believe Warren Jeffs is true prophet would follow the beans and water diet. Isn't that only the FLDS?

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    4. I believe it is only the FLDS

      Delete
  33. I've got a big bomb to drop... I can really dress shop, would you like to join me?

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  34. Please marry me.....I promise you'll get your own kitchen!

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  35. #polygamistpickuplines If you have a baby, you get two whole weeks with me!

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  36. #polygamistpickuplines I love to do my 'proselyting, and you are such a good listener!
    Modest is hottest! and you are one hottie with those layers!
    I'll get you out of the trailer.....and right into debt!
    I believe in a a lifestyle.....don't worry about that pesky religion that goes with it.
    Church at home.... like a thunderdome!

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  37. Hey baby, I have my own jewelry store and clothing line.....pretty impressive right?

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  38. Easter is coming...come Lover, I'll fertilize your eggs for you.

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  39. You can be my queen bee baby, 'cause I'm buzzing around your door....

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  40. I believe in Love at 4th site,could u walk past my wives and I again.

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  41. We don't do weird but could I sleep with four other women in our marriage? No, honey it's not an open marriage, at least not for you. I rotate!

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  42. Love them all, esp the easter one!HA~!
    #polygamistpickuplines Honey, you take me to another planet...
    I'll rock you to the stars.....How do you feel about sharing a kitchen?
    What size to you wear? If you are close to my other wives, you'd get a whole new wardrobe to share!

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  43. "Excuse me, can you drive an RV?"

    "Hi, I'm on TV! No, not the Bachelor. Well... kinda"

    "What comes to mind when you hear the word 'obey'?"

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  44. #polygamistpickuplines Like Disneyland?

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  45. #polygamistpickuplines.... Would you like to be a spoke on my wheel?

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  46. #Polygamistpickuplines... The bigger the family, the greater your queendom...I will be your king! No pheasant dresses for you, my dear. Only the best baby doll frills!

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous, I am not picking on your spelling but I laughed so hard at the "pheasant" dresses instead of I think you mean "peasant" dresses. I just picture these women in big feathery gowns of many colors.

      I am still laughing at the sew her tear ducks shut from the Brown Mission Statement page.

      Slept into Debt

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  47. #Polygamistpickuplines.... Is that a quarter in my pocket or am I just happy to see you?

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  48. #polygamistpickuplines If you've got the money honey, i've got the time.... (from a song)

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  49. #polygamistpickuplines Check out our picture! Like Strippers? Burlesque? I can hook you up!

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  50. #Polygamistpickuplines "We can live in a make believe world of anything you want..... and as #5, you'll be a STAR baby!

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  51. #Polygamistpickuplines Be the first in a new Cult d Sac!

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  52. #Polygamistpickuplines. I know you have been having a rough time so come and slip into my magic undies.

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  53. #Polygamistpickuplines. We're just one big happy family. But you, my dear are the most beautiful creature on earth in those black tights.

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  54. He needs to pick a compound girl. Then she might actually think she had hit the bigtime. (sadly, I should add)
    #Polygamistpickuplines Baby, take off that dress and show me your beautiful figure! I am a fun guy, I'll take take you to Disneyland... and beyond!

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  55. #Polygamistpickuplines. Have you seen our homes? you can have the biggest one yet! i just love your smile. 25 is such a great age. Will you marry me? I can't kiss you until we're married, and with those lips of yours, I can't wait! Let's go get hitched!

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  56. I saw Joe Darger's tweet about this before...
    #Polygamistpickuplines.It may be Easter, but don't hide those eggs, cause baby I want you to have my baby! Ugh, remember that 70's song... Having my baby....

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  57. #Polygamistpickuplines (ok, this is bad) Got Milk?

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