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Sunday, June 23, 2013

Author banned from Tuacahn Market for 'graphic content' 'Fifty Years in Polygamy' deemed not family friendly


 



 — A former polygamist and current author has been banned from selling her book at the Tuacahn Saturday Market after market officials say they began receiving complaints that the book had descriptions of her past that were “graphic” and not considered “family friendly.”
Market officials admit they have not actually read the book.
New Harmony resident Kristyn Decker is the author of “Fifty Years in Polygamy: Big Secrets and Little White Lies” that depicts her experience as a former polygamist and sister wife.
Decker said she began selling her book at the market last spring after her book was released in May and has had an “awesome” experience until she received the phone call from a market representative asking her not to return.
Please read the rest at:  http://www.thespectrum.com/article/20130620/NEWS01/306190019/Author-banned-from-Tuacahn-Market-graphic-content-

In this file photo, former polygamist Kristyn Decker speaks with reporters before a January hearing in Salt Lake City on whether Utah can prohibit plural marriage. Decker says she's been banned from selling her book, 'Fifty Years in Polygamy: Big Secrets and Little White Lies,' at the Tuacahn Saturday Market because of complaints that some parts of her book aren't 'family friendly.' (AP Photo/Rick Bowmer) / AP

71 comments:

  1. Banning a book? Well now that pretty much guarantees I want to read it. :)

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  2. I read this book and it was an eye opener. People are just afraid of the truth. Get this book and read it. If you don't want to know then don't. But don't stop other people from learning the truth. Im only anonymous becase I don't know how to join. Love this site.

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    1. I used my google account to put as a profile. I think there are other options as well.

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    2. Upper right side of the page, almost equal with where Krystin Decker's photo is there's a section titled How to Post. Read that and it will help you.

      As Kristy Smith said I log in with my Google account.

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  3. Oh brother. Yes, we should accept all the lies, but don't tell the truth!

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  4. Kristyn Decker is a dear friend of mine and I loved her book and am looking forward to her next one along with the radio show she is starting. My husband (Ed Kociela, former City Editor for The Spectrum) wrote 'plygs', and after we started to get involved in various groups we became very good friends with this dear lady... What she has to say is shocking...graphic and very sad but she wrote Fifty Years in Polygamy from her heart and for someone to complain about its contents is just not wanting to face the cold hard truth... I encourage you all to read her book...

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    1. And I will! I went to my library (rather large) and not surprisingly, in the Midwest, there is very little on polygamy. All you need to do is ask for the book through inter library loan. I've seen Kristen discussed on here before, and glad to see her supported.
      Thank you Cara for sharing.

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    2. Cara, I have a question for you or anyone with much knowledge on the subject. with Prop 8, and the news that Utah was just waiting for that to pass to step up proceedings on legalizing polygamy, do you feel they are trying to squash any info that would get in the way of these passing?

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    3. Cara I agree with you about the book. There were very disturbing parts and yes,there were parts I had to quit reading and start reading again a few days later just to be able to handle it.

      But better we should read that type of thing than to live in the dark about what is going on regarding polygamy and I thank Krystin Decker for sharing her experiences with us. I'm sorry she had to go through that but if it saves even one person from polygamy the book was worth it in my opinion.

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  5. *shaking my head*
    So on one hand, her book isn't PC for that market due to a few complaints.
    On the other hand, the decision to bann her book was made by officals who hadn't bothered to read it prior to their decision.

    Just goes to show the power of special interest groups who are either pushing their agenda or denying other groups their voice.

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  6. Cara and Kristyn,
    Are your books available at the Barnes and Noble in St. George?
    Cindy

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    1. A huge thanks to all of you who have written in support and to encourage me onward. Most of your comments are right on! I felt the Sat. Market was one of the best venues to help others understand what polygamy really is and how harmful it is to women and children. I had no idea my banning would be so publicized, and I'd get such a good positive response from so many people who understand and know. YES my book should be available in St. George at the Barns and Noble there. IF they've sold out, they'll order you some more. You can get them online or down-load them from Amazon, Balboa Publishing or Barns and Noble. ONCE AGAIN, A HUGE THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!

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    2. Thank you for one insightful, touching book, and sharing your life with us.

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  7. This is really crazy. The title alone should suggest to parents of younger children that this is not a book for them, but rather as an educational tool for adults and older children. People are really uptight these days. I have seen her on the Thursday internet show regarding and she is very well spoken and appropriate. Parents really should use some common sense regarding these types of things. Personally I like my children to learn about other cultures and ways of life. I think it is important for kid to be able to relate to others. When they enter adulthood they will need to be able to get along with all types of people.

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  8. Wow this is just nuts! So it's OK for polygamist families like the Browns & Dargers to write & publish books about the plural lifestyle supposedly being so "grand" & "Wonderful"?? But God forbid when someone tries to expose the truth & horrors they personally experienced, then they try to shut it down by all means & prevent it from being exposed...smh I believe that when good light is being shed, then it will always find a way to shine :)

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  9. hope no one decides to sell the bible at market either as it's pretty graphic and not so family friendly either in lots of places.

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  10. If I hadn't already read it. This would make me want to read it.

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  11. What is so wrong with the book? I don't get this at all? Does this violate her rights?

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  12. So, this is off topic and please feel free not to post this if I am not within the guidelines. But I thought people would be interested to know that the Dargers have tweeted that one of the "wives" is expecting, although they are not telling which one it is.

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    1. Well that's big news! Please put all posts about Dargers under this one, to keep them together, thanks!

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    2. Based upon a photo that was posted to the Darger's website, it looks like Vicki is the one expecting. I'm the same person who put the original post, I just don't know how to show as anything but "anonymous."

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    3. Anon: Go on the right side of this page - almos exactly to the right of Krystin Decker's photo. There is a section there called HOW TO POST.
      That will explain how to show up as someone other than Anonymous. Personally I log in with my Gmail account. It allows you to choose a name that goes along with that.

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  13. Thank you, just bought it for my Kindle. Love banned books!

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  14. I am sorry this woman has been censored the way that she has. I will be reading her book not because I was told not to but because I want to.

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  15. Oh Kristyn, you must be joking. Unfortunately probably not. -Third Cousin

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  16. What on earth? The want their rights, but want to blur reality with their version of what's going on in these cults. We should be more leary.

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  17. Kody just confirmed a late July premiere date on twitter. I guess figure 8 was telling the truth.

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  18. I just finished reading her book and have to admit that I lost it a few times - and I have thick skin! Many times I found myself infuriated on her behalf and other times I was devastated and cried for her misery. The candy coated TV shows we see really don't show us the details of anguish women in the polygamy community go through. This book does just that. You absolutely feel her plight and struggles between being a sweet and noble girl/woman and being true to herself and standing up for what is right. So many times while reading this book I found myself wishing I could give a piece of my mind to the many people in her life that have wronged her. I know there are bad people in every walk of life but something about polygamy just turns men into real A-HOLES. I also have new found belief that "sister wives" really aren't that sisterly after all.

    Concerning the graphic nature of the book: YES, there are some down right explicit examples of everything from verbal abuse to molestation. To be honest this gave myself a firm grasp on the devastating realities that are alive and well in this world today. I am GLAD I read it though and would do so again. I have always been curious as to what goes through the mind of a child during atrocious events such as molestation and how it affects them in the long run. Reading this book your eyes WILL be opened to just how confusing and life changing such an event can be. She also goes into DETAIL of what it is like to hear your husband in the other room with his new wife, how she personally witnessed her husband being verbally abusive to herself and her children, her strained and heart wrenching relationship with her sisterwife, and that is just the beginning!

    In conclusion, it doesn't take a genius to figure out a book of this nature might be a bit graphic.

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    1. same way i felt about reading both Flora Jessop's and Carolyn Jessop's books. the hellacious behind the scenes dirty little secrets of religious polygamy are tough reads and very hard to stomach. I had to take short breaks from them, too. :(

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  19. Well, it looks like her book sales are going to pick up a bit because of this, at least from people on this blog! I'm about to go buy it on my Kindle. What (where) is the Tuacahn Market, and is it influential? Will it matter that they've banned it?

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    1. The Tuacahn Market according to what I searched out online is just north of Saint George, UT and I'm not sure how influential it is. I doubt it's hugely influential except in that immediate area and to the people that are market regulars.

      I think the way in which it will matter, JMO obviously, would be to cause others to research the book after reading in a newspaper or hearing on a news program about the book being banned.

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  20. What's next? Burning of all non fiction books?

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  21. Can someone give a synopsis of the book?

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    1. Amazon.com, BN.com or any other large website will have a synopsis.

      Personally I feel like there's far too much in the book for me to try to do it justice with a synopsis here. I can say that in my opinion I feel that everyone who reads a fakey fakey, nice nice story by people like the Browns should read either Kristyn's book or one of the books by one of the Jessops.

      *Kristyn I apologize, I just now noticed I've spelled your name incorrectly in every post!*

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  22. I am reading it now, thanks to it being "banned". It is hard to give a synopsis on somone's life. I recommend buying the book and a box of kleenex.

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  23. @Anon 9:21, basically it's her memoirs. I once figured out exactly how she's related to Christine Brown--I think she's a second cousin--but now I can't remember OTTOMH. At any rate, she's an Allred and she doesn't paint a pretty picture of the realities of the plural lifestyle as she experienced them as a child or an adult. It's definitely worth reading.

    I've already purchased the book but d@mn if this doesn't make me want to buy it again.

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    1. According to the UNLV press release when she appeared with the Browns on campus she is Christine 's aunt. See the 4/25 blog post for the link to the press release.

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    2. Krystn's father is Owen Allred brother to Rulon Allred who is Christine's paternal grandfather

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    3. Is she also a sister of Joe Darger? I was watching the Thursday show called Polygamy What Love is This (I was watching through old episodes) and I believe she was on there talking about legalizing polygamy. They read passages from the Darger book and she stated that Joe was her brother. I am hoping I am thinking correctly that was Kristyn Decker. I just looked on Amazon and this book is only five dollars and some change. I haven't read it yet. It is time to read it now.

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    4. Big thanks to Anon--I've read several polygamy books written by various Allred descendants and I couldn't remember who was related how to whom. (If you can follow that at all)

      *spoiler warning*

      The book was definitely hard to read at times but that was the sum of her reality. It was much harder for her to live through, right? It's like these narrow-minded tight*bleeps* who banned her are saying "Sorry you were sexually molested and emotionally abused but you make some people uncomfortable so we want you to go away." Actions like this really, really, really get my dander up. *Steps of soapbox*

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    5. Run, Plyglets, Run!June 29, 2013 at 11:55 AM

      Kristy Smith, it's been a couple of months since I read Kristyn's book and dug through all the relationships, but if I remember correctly, Kristyn was married to one of Joe's uncles.

      If I've got it wrong, apologies especially to Kristyn.

      Delete
  24. Tuachan is based out of Utah, which completely makes the banning of this book that much more atrocious IMO. The LDS Church should be reaching out and trying to help its brothers and sisters of the same ancestry, rather than shun them. Speaking as an ex-mormon convert, the church's polygamist history was never to be spoken of.

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  25. I've been not quite deciding to buy her book since it came out. This settled the matter, it's on my kindle now. I'm sure I'll have to rant a little here ere I'm done reading, I gather it's strong stuff.
    Well done Tuacahn Market, you just made Ms Decker whatever she gets out of the 9.72 euros I just paid.

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  26. I just purchased the book on my Kindle. I can't wait to read her story. I feel that with all the other books on the market and their content, why is her book being banned. She is telling the truth. People think that all polygamist families live like the Browns. They see the big homes, Kody's one sided vacations and they think that this stuff is real. TLC is only showing us what they want us to see. They have to make the show filled with drama so that we will tune in. They have to create drama. I wonder if the Brown family will read this book. Maybe it will keep them warm at night when Kody is next door. I wonder what the new season will bring. I hope it's their last. Even though I love this blog, I can't stand polygamy. I want to shake these women and give them a brain. They are only fooling themselves and their so called wanna be sister wives fans.

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  27. Just purchased the book at Amazon for $11.83. By banning her book they increased her sales big time.

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  28. Slightly OT question. It's my understanding that the Browns have stated that each "wife" Kody has taken, has been as a result of a calling from God. That it's not up to them, it's entirely about obeying a perceived commandment from God. Yet, they have also expressed zero intent to take on any more wives. I believe in one of the interviews on the show, Robyn was very "oh hell no" when it was suggested by the interviewer. And Kody has also indicated that there won't be more wives. He just recently tweeted something to that effect. How does that "jive" with what they have said about it not being their decision?

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    1. Great point Anonymous @12:19pm. Since starting to watch Sister Wives I've come to realize that the Krody Krew follows only the portions of their religion that is convenient for them to follow.

      On the TV show we were constantly being told "modest is hottest" and yet they were very plainly shown in swim suits that weren't modest - or at least in my opinion. Especially the one that had Meri's chest on blatant display. I realize swimsuits aren't really designed for modesty but there are some out there that don't quite flaunt the goodies but that's not what I saw worn.

      Also we see them showing up at hot spots in Vegas in fairly revealing clothing (Meri's sausage dress anyone?) and their girls are starting to wear more current type fashions with more skin showing. Not critizing the girls - they are modest compared to a lot of what I see in the stores, but it's been a change from how they used to dress.

      I could continue but I think you get the point. They pick and choose which rules they follow. Many of us do with religion, but it's one thing to do that privately and another to place yourselves on a TV show as a wonderful example of what your religion advocates - ie. polygamy and pick and choose.

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    2. My silly computer wont let me re-post the links but there are several websites devoted to modest swimwear wedding dresses and summer clothes. A lot of my friends and I buy the regular swimsuits and put the tight fitting "surf shirts" on over the regular tops the surf shirts look like a tshirt. Krody's crew has no good reason for not dressing to fit their "modest standards" they just kinda pick and choose as they go! "Cafeteria Mormons!"

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  29. Owwwweeeeeehhhh!!! I can not wait to purchase this womans books it must be a very good read to be banned! They still ban books in the US???? Outrageous!

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  30. It is an excellent picture of her life. Not a pretty picture, her life was awful until she escaped.

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  31. I just finished Kristyn's book today. To read and understand the levels of abuse that are taught and executed in polygamy is amazing. I think how Kristyn wrote it gave the reader great insight to the reality of this "lifestyle" and the oppression and humiliation put on the people of this religion. I grew up in a very strict religion, but the God I was taught about would never ask His people to live like this. I am so glad I read this. Thank you Kristyn!

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  32. Perhaps it will help to moderate people's reaction to those who don't want to hear or read about this type of abuse to consider that for some, reading, discussing, or exposure to this type of abuse story can trigger pain and anguish of childhood abuse of their own.

    Others may be so repulsed by it that it is in the same category as reading detailed autopsy reports or looking at graphic pictures of homocide scenes. Kind of like how the movie rating system can give a NC-17 rating just for violence.

    It's not like the organizers of the market are preventing publication of the book, nor are they lobbying lawmakers to ban it. They are just setting a standard for their private environment.

    They should be free to do so.

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    1. Here's a list from Wikipedia of books once banned in the United States by people wanting to set a standard for their so called private environment which just so happened to affect their entire community ...

      Candide
      The Canterbury Tales
      Catch-22
      The Decameron
      Fanny Hill
      The Federal Mafia
      The Grapes of Wrath
      Homo Sapiens
      Lady Chatterley's Lover
      The Meritorious Price of Our Redemption
      Moll Flanders
      My Life and Loves
      Naked Lunch
      Operation Dark Heart
      Tropic of Cancer
      Ulysses
      Uncle Tom's Cabin
      United States – Vietnam Relations: 1945–1967

      Yes, they were free to do so, but were they right?

      Looking at the list, Kristyn you are in good company. Here's hoping the so called banning of your book equates to thousands of dollars of booksales for you!

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    2. Excellent point of view anon 9:39

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    3. Also, I want to add that I bought Ms. Decker's book yesterday and it's a page turner! Hope she gains fortunes for her honest depiction of polygamy.

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  33. Anon 9:39, moderation and sensitivity to others is hard to find in a group of crusaders that just care about "the cause" They are too caught up in the anger phase of grieving what ever abuse they suffered to see beyond the innocents they hurt and the triggering they cause for abuse survivors.

    I applaud your attempts but it is an uphill battle.

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    1. So are you saying that the perpetrators of abuse against the innocents shouldn't be called out for their actions? Are you saying that it's better not to write anything about abuse so that the abuse survivors won't be hurt by the triggering by the mere mention of their abuse?

      Are you sure you want to live in a world where people are silent about past abuses and others avert their eyes, symbolically sweeping the abuse under the carpet...a case of out of sight...out of mind kind of reality?

      Just like the Browns, Dargers, FLDS, Centennial Park, and other polygamists, who stick their collective heads into the sand like so many ostriches ignoring the world around them. And if one person dares to speak of their abuse at the hands of polygamy, that person is called a crusader that just cares about the cause?

      Something is seriously wrong with that picture.

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    2. Anon 3:47 -- I don't think that's what Anon 3:17 was saying at all. In fact, she's saying the opposite.

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    3. "They are too caught up in the anger phase of grieving what ever abuse they suffered to see beyond the innocents they hurt and the triggering they cause for abuse survivors. "

      I think she meant to say "to see beyond their own anger and be considerate of the innocents..."

      Count me among the ones who believe there is a better way to deal with all this that doesn't perpetuate the pain of reliving the abuse repeatedly. Bad enough to be victimized as a child but to have to relive all the details over and over is horrible.

      I think pedophiles get off on reading about iall the details too and that is worse than horrible.

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    4. Seriously, I don't think banning this book because pedophiles might get off on reading it really justifies such drastic actions. I'm an adult and can make my own choices. If people are so worried about titillating pedophiles how about banning those kiddies beauty pageants where little girls are paraded on stage looking like tarts.

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  34. Wow, I've got to read this book!

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  35. geez - is this America?? book banning a book like this at a free market?? are people so emotionally fragile that they need protection from a book that they're not interested in buying/reading themselves? grow up. and while you're busy doing that, if you're raising kids - you should already be grown up enough to be able to simply teach your kids that not everything that adults read, see and do is likewise age appropriate for kids! i would have hated to have been the one to have had to make this ridiculous phone call to this author to tell her that her own book recounting her childhood abuse wasn't considered to be family friendly. well, DUH!!!!! this just makes utah seem very backward.

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    1. I think the problem is people are emotionally immature.

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    2. Yeah, immature and lacking integrity and objectivity.

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  36. I'm going to repost Ms Decker's comment from above just in case a few folks missed it:

    "A huge thanks to all of you who have written in support and to encourage me onward. Most of your comments are right on! I felt the Sat. Market was one of the best venues to help others understand what polygamy really is and how harmful it is to women and children. I had no idea my banning would be so publicized, and I'd get such a good positive response from so many people who understand and know. YES my book should be available in St. George at the Barns and Noble there. IF they've sold out, they'll order you some more. You can get them online or down-load them from Amazon, Balboa Publishing or Barns and Noble. ONCE AGAIN, A HUGE THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!"

    Kristyn, it's SWB pleasure to get the word out what happened at the Tuacahn Market concerning your book.

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    1. I have watched this blog from the start on and off. It has grown and taught me about all I know about polygamy. I appreciate all insights into books as I am an avid reader. I am so grateful for Kristen Decker's book, and for Sister Wives Blog standing up and posting posts that inform us that would otherwise not now these things. Ms Decker, thank you for coming to my favorite blog!

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  37. I think it is so cool that Ms. Decker dropped by SWB to personally thank us for supporting her book. This just shows how far SWB has come. It also shows that not everyone believes what they see on TV.

    CJ - Thank you for pointing out Ms. Deckers' earlier post! I did not see it. I hope that once more SWB followers have read her book we can have a follow up thread in the future. We could talk about certain events in the book that I would hate to bring up now as not to spoil the book for others. I am dying to know others opinions about some of the key events in her life and tragic things her husband put her through. Anyway, I know this is all up to SWB admin :-)

    Most importantly, THANK YOU Ms. Decker for a TRUE look into polygamy as opposed to all these phony "documentaries." I always did wonder what really went through the minds of women living this lifestyle. You are such a brave woman and have my support!

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  38. I finished reading the book yesterday. It was very vivid in describing the horrible pain that she went through due to polygamy. I think that people who take polygamy lightly need to read this book. It may make some uncomfortable but so be it if it gets the people of Utah and Arizona to stop turning a blind eye. Thank you Mrs. Decker for sharing your life with us.

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  39. Thank you, Krysten for your beautiful memoir. I bought it on Monday, and finished reading it on Tuesday! Such a compelling, open and honest story.

    Thank you for validating what I had always thought - that the majority of children in polygamous homes are abused - either neglected and/or malnourished, or physically, emotionally, verbally and/or sexually abused. I wondered the same thing you grieved, when the state ordered the return of the YFZ children to their parents.

    The over-arching theme that I came away with after reading your book, was how un-family friendly and un-kid friendly polygamous lifestyles are, for the majority of polygamous families. (I supposed that a tiny, small percentage of families have figured out how to function healthily - like the Dargers, possibly as one example.)

    But the majority of polygamous families, like your book illustrated, has parents who have no choice but to be mainly concerned with providing for too many children, as well as mainly navigating the soap operas that are their emotional lives, because their basic emotional needs are not met in their adult relationships.

    And the dysfunction! Wow - it became clear that these families and communities raise people who have no coping skills for life's stresses. Generation after generation after generation. They are not taught basic principles of dealing with problems, because of their fanatical adherence to the principle of "never complaining," "always serving," and "keeping sweet."

    After reading Krysten's book, I discovered this awesome gem of a book, too: "It's Not About the Sex." My Ass!" If you want a snarky, sarcastic, funny memoir of an adult joining and then leaving polygamy, this book is for you. Written by Joanne Hanks, who left mainstream Mormonism to join the TLC polygamist group in Manti, to then figure out it was a cult. She is funny and irreverent and it was a great read.

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  40. Kristyn Decker's book was perhaps the first I ever read on Mormon fundamentalism and Mormon-based polygamy. What an eye-opener! To think that the bookstore ceased selling her work simply because it was not "family friendly" in their view is ridiculous! The book was her LIFE! This amazing, sweet, wonderful woman suffered through Hell because of the same "family friendly" values the Sister Wives show promotes. By the way, Kody Brown's family belongs to the same AUB group that Kristyn left.

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