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Monday, February 13, 2012

UPDATE!!: I Scour the Internet: The Valentine Day Edition 2/14/12

 Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!

Let's recap what's been happening with the Brown group!

Somebody had a birthday last week....

That sounds like fun, but I wonder what they hunted in the wilds of Las Vegas? For Phil Varone's cast offs? And has anyone else noticed that Kody went HUNTing with HUNTer? If only Kody and Robyn had named their baby Fisher instead. That way, on his fifteenth birthday Kody could take FISHer FISHing, know what I mean?

 So what does Hunter's mom have to say?

Thanks Robyn  <eyeroll>, but I was referring to Hunter's BIRTH mom, OK?

Hey Janelle, so what's up with Hunter's birthday celebration?  Did  you cook whatever  Hunter and Kody HUNTed up on their HUNTing trip?         

Wow Janelle, that does sound kind of easy. Does that mean Hunter can ask for Eggs Benedict or even Chile Rellenos? I just hope he didn't get a bowl of Lucky Charms or Shredded Wheat. And thanks to Hunter's parental units for reminding all of us that Brownboss99 is Hunter. Isn't it funny how both Robyn and Kody use the word 'aka'? Almost like they are one mind. Literally.

And on the subject of birthdays...

A fan asked the Kody Krew what month was busiest for birthdays:

That's good to know, especially if its ever the $50,000 question on some game show!

Hey Meri, you've been looking a little tired lately. Are you getting enough rest? What's wrong?

I'm sure we all have that happen when we know our hubby is sleeping in someone else's bed.

But Meri, I thought your sisterwives, especially Robyn (you know, that sisterwife you always wanted) were suppose to be your friends. And why isn't Kody helping you make sense of your world, you know, the one you chose to live? Maybe your favorite sisterwife Robyn can help you out. Has she told you about her Honeymoon Experience theory?

This is all beginning to look so...depressing! Calling Dr Philgood, oops, I mean Dr Phil !

Since this is the Valentine's Day edition, I remembered how last year Kody took his wives to dinner at an all you can eat buffet in Vegas.

Now call me crazy, but that just doesn't seem too romantic. No wonder Meri is down in the dumps.

Maybe Valerie Darger has discovered a way to keep the romance alive. Let's check it out, shall we?

How Polygamists Celebrate Valentines Day

Posted on February 7, 2012 by Valerie

It’s complicated. To be honest, I have no idea how other polygamists celebrate this lovers’ holiday. I think there are some who pass it off as just another day on the calendar. Others might keep it low-key with a card and flowers.

In years past, I remember Joe saying he didn’t need a special holiday to express his love for us…it was something he did every single day. And I didn’t entirely disagree with him. He is always finding ways to show how much he cares. Whether it’s a tender embrace in the kitchen while I’m cooking dinner or sending an unexpected text in the middle of his workday, he manages to make me feel special.

If there was one thing to complain about it’s this; he feels that giving flowers is a waste of money. I know! Right? I don’t entirely agree with him on this one but I kind of don’t blame him either. There is a story in our book where he goes to the florist to send flowers to Vicki and Alina for Valentines. This was before I ever came along. It ended badly. You can read about it for yourself on page 195.

One year he came up with a brilliant idea. He suggested we have a party by polygamists, for polygamists. We would invite people who believe in or live the Principle of Plural Marriage. It’s been a tradition ever since and has really been successful in taking the pressure off the man to come up with something for each wife. We have a different theme every year for food and decor. First it was Italian, then Asian, Hawaiian, Mexican and this year it will be French. We will be preparing Julia Child’s famed Boeuf Bourguignon (Beef Burgundy). As well as some moist and delicious sugar cookies for which I will share the recipe below.

Each year we ask our guests to add to the fun. The year we had Asian food they were all to write their own fortune “fit for a polygamist” like you might find in a fortune cookie. The next year they were to make a homemade Valentine card that could be used by a polygamist. There were such creative ideas, we were falling off our chairs, doubled up with laughter. This year they were asked to come up with a ‘candy-gram’ that is polygamy themed.

Now for the heart-shaped sugar cookies with pink frosting. They are always so festive and the tray is empty long before the party is over...

Well Valarie, you know what I always say - Empty trays for empty minds! Or was that simple pleasures for simple minds? Ya'll get the point, I'm sure.

You can see the yummy recipe at http://lovetimesthree.com/how-polygamists-celebrate-valentines-day/

And kudos to Valerie for showing us that polygamist men are not only the center of a polygamist woman's universe, but they can come up with brilliant party ideas too. And nice job hawking your book by telling readers they can read about Joe's flower disaster themselves on page 195 of your bestseller.

I bet if you ask Oprah Winfrey real nice she would give you some ideas for next year's partay. Or even better, tweet your polygamist girlfriend Janelle's new friend Phil for some ideas. I bet he'll even provide the um, decorations, too!

Before I call it a wrap, I came across this tweet from Robyn I'd like to share:

Good gracious, what is the deal with this woman? For goodness sakes, Las Vegas is in a DESERT. If you ain't seen cold and snow by February, it ain't gonna happen! And isn't that one of the reasons, besides ratings, that Kody used to persuade your sisterwives to move to Vegas? No more snow, no more freezing temperatures like Utah. Get with the program Robyn. Let Sol out of his cage and take him outside now before it gets over 115 degrees!


I just found this!

Fresh off the Craiglist's presses: Liv International will be hosting a Luau featuring the Kody Brown Family on Friday February 17th in Mesa AZ. Mesa not only has an LDS Temple, but from what I've heard, its own share of polygamists, too! For only $25.00, you can mingle with the KODY BROWN FAMILY while enjoying an Hawaiian Luau menu dinner, with Hawaiian Fire Dancing and door prizes and a raffle!

Just for the fun of it, I went to the Liv Luau 'website' and tried to order some tickets. Unfortunately, I got the message that the event was sold out. Damn, what a pity! I wanted to see if Christine would be there, shaking hands and eating Hawaiian food!

I don't want to sound petty or mean, but, couldn't Liv International find a more urban upscale setting? Like  maybe even downtown Mesa instead of an out in the boonies place that boasts being the venue for people yearning for 'authenic' Hawaiian Weddings. Face it, if I want Hawaiian, I hop on a plane to Oahu, not Mesa!

On a more serious note, is this the best Kody can do for his family? Trotting out with his wives to shake hands and small talk with people that are only interested in them because of a reality TV show. And I really would like to know how much of the $25 entrance fee goes directly into his pocket. What happens when the show is cancelled, and he's got a couple of hundred cases of food supplements in his  rented Vegas garages? Does he think people will still shill out $25 to see him?

Here's a link to the Craiglist ad: http://phoenix.craigslist.org/evl/eve/2845055730.html

Well, that's all for now. Remember, I Scour the Internet, so you don't have to!


  1. "Phil Varone's castoffs" I could not stop laughing, too funny...

  2. CJ. Thank you for the laugh ... too funny

  3. Winter does happen in Vegas. Usually not til January or February. Today it finally got cold and up where the Wives live there is sometimes even snow although it doesn't stick.... It also gets super windy so I can understand not wanting to take a newborn out too often. Anyone else realize that Hunter's B-day Feb 5 was a Wednesday and a school day here in Vegas?

  4. one mind. literally. *snicker*

  5. So...Robin is still stupid, Meri is still depressed, Kody is still a moron, and Janelle is still obsessed with food. No tweets from Christine? Maybe she's too busy going over her old bankrupcy and welfare documents because you can bet the Utah Attorney General is!

    Instead of Kody "hunting" with Hunter on his birthday and Janelle giving him a pancake and a scoop of ice cream they really should have given the poor kid a medal and some serious cash for having to put up with them.

  6. Christine hasn't tweeted in a very long time. Maybe she's a Darger now.

    If I had to spend Valentine's Day with the Dargers, the polygamy way, I'd check myself into the pound instead.

  7. When I saw that tweet from Robyn I was like how come she doesn't take Sol outside...why does he have to be trapped inside all the time? And that FREAKED ME OUT!! Ugh she drives me nuts!

  8. I am worried about Christine. She has not been seen or heard from since the Golden Globes. What has happened to her?

  9. Not sleeping solid - it sounds like Meri is going through the change. That might exacerbate depression too ... as if she didn't have enough to be depressed about.

  10. I cant imgine laying in bed on Valentines night know my husband is bonking his other wife. What kind of sadistic god do they follow?

  11. Vegas has great parks the weather has been so beautiful this year, hard to believe she can't take all the young children to a park and let them play? Maybe Christine took off with the trainer guy and is getting in shape and Leaving Las Vegas:) Spending any night alone while my husband was off making babies with someone else would send me in to SLEEPLESS in LAS VEGAS or UTAH or wherever else I am at. I do feel sorry for Christine she was raised to believe that this is the way.
    Living in poverty is the way
    Being sad about your husband's ability to sleep around is the way and your fault.
    Having a lot of children even though your health is suffering, is the way.
    These women just don't get it, I believe they should choose how they want to live, but the government should stop paying for healthcare and food and living expenses, as far as that goes for anyone who chooses to keep having children why they are poor is just plain stupid.

  12. "Whether it’s a tender embrace in the kitchen while I’m cooking dinner or sending an unexpected text in the middle of his workday, he manages to make me feel special."

    Uhh, Valerie....this is what a husband is *supposed* to do routinely.
    How pathetic that you have to see that as *special* and just for *you.* !!!
    Even though, you also have to know that he does the same *special* thing for the other two. So how *special* is special???

    "In years past, I remember Joe saying he didn't need a special holiday to express his love for us…it was something he did every single day."

    Wow..this Joe Darger is a slick salesman !!! This line really is *amusing.* !!!!

    As for the hunt for Christine....
    That poor woman looked like she was unraveling at the end of last season. So who knows what is going on with her.

    But it does seem that whenever there are posts here questioning certain lacks/flaws in the Kody World image, they do then pick up the ball. So perhaps Christine will resurface soon.
    Case in point, Kody actually spent time with Hunter (remember him, the rude one who didn't fawn all over Robin and Sol)....after numerous posts here posting support of that poor kid and also commenting how *little* quality time Sperm King actually spends with his 17 children....then we see where Kody has to tweet to the world that he has spent time with his son. Atta boy, Kody !!!!

  13. They absolutely need to let Christine get proper medical care. Antidepressants and anti anxiety medications are not something to play around with. If she is being kept at home and not allowed to have the needed follow ups with her doctor, her life could be in danger. It is bad enough to keep a patient away from the healing of counseling and therapy, but to not allow a doctor to monitor medications is life threatening.

  14. When Christine announced that she was taking medication and was weaning herself off of them, the first thing I thought was she wants to get pregnant again. It just seems that ever since Robyn came into the picture, Christine has been on this wild rollercoaster of emotions. But Anonymous 4:50, how do you know she's not being allowed proper medical care?

    1. I can see Christine getting into a baby race with Robyn, it's the only way she can compete with the new "favorite."

      I think within a few years, Kody will have a new wife. Wonder how Robyn will handle that.

      Christine self medicating and trying to control your own dosage especially with antidepressants is worrisome. From what I've read their sect doesn't seem to treat depression and other mental illnesses as a healthcare issue, rather they think the sufferer is to blame for how they feel. I wonder if Kody is criticizing her for taking them?

    2. I know Christine's situation is a serious topic, but I couldn't help laughing out loud at the prospect of Robyn having to deal with another (newer, younger) wife. Something about her just irritates me so much and I would love to see her get a serious Karma Kick.

    3. I think the extent of Robyn's karma will depend on how well future wife no. 5 gets along with Meri

  15. Seeing a therapist would probably do wonders for Christine. Warm supportive environment with someone to actually listen to her and let her know she matters She could get some perspective on her situation. I don't see the down side of that

    1. Meri has always said she wanted to work with at risk youth, which is wonderful. But it seems she's rather cold, abrupt, my way or the highway kind of person, not very warm at all. Remember how she treated Mykelti about showing too much boobs? Or when she told off the kids bullying Dayton on that California trip? And that glare she had when Kody gave Christine the watches (that scene was not shown on tv but was available here on the website and TLC) Anyway, I've wondered if her losing her job was not because of her being public about polygamy but because of poor job performance?