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Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The Dargers: What Does It All Mean and Will We Do Another TV Show?


It's been several months since the last time I ventured over to the Dargers website, lovetimesthree.com. Holy cow! The Dargers apparently have been going through a ridiculous amount of change and stress this month!


Young Papa Joe with hair...and less stress
Papa Joe writes in his blog entry for May 7th, 2013 that he had a breakdown of sorts. In probably the most real blog entry ever, (at least from a now public polygamist) we find out the Browns aren't the only plygs with finite resources. The story he tells may be humbling, but my radar went up when he wrote about how he initially blamed wife Vicki for what happened. What was even more telling, was the fact Vicki had to call Papa Joe to fix the problem instead of trying to work something out with legal wife #1 first.

OK. Show of hands. Who was surprised Papa Joe hurt his wife's feelings with harsh words? I'm not surprised, but he did apologize later. Not that it makes his actions less egregious, if you know what I mean.

I also found it hard to believe the gas company didn't leave a 48 hour final  "love note" on their door, but it is Utah so who knows what utilities do in that state.

You can read whole sordid story, and Papa Joe's new outlook on failure here: What does it all mean?

The blog entry for May 9th 2013 is, for want of a better word, sad. Sad that in the competition for TV time, the face of polygamy Joe Darger has lost out to its hind side known as Kody Brown. Or as Papa Joe puts it "... our motives for what we do have little to do with money...[but]...we think the reality TV market will certainly seek out and flourish with such programing that frankly does not meet our values and standards."

OUCH!! Say it ain't so, Papa Joe!! (Makes me wonder what Papa Joe thinks about NatGeo's Polygamy, USA show, YIKES!!).  Of course, Papa Joe was talking about OTHER reality shows, like TLCs Breaking Amish (yeah, right).

You can read Papa Joe's entire blog entry here: Will We Do Another TV Show?


So what are your thoughts about Papa Joe and his wives (consisting of twins and their cousin)?

91 comments:

  1. Wow talk about blowing something up!! This is an honest blog about struggles that almost all married couples have. All he did was have a bit of a stress, realise what he'd done and say sorry. I think sometimes this blog overanalyses things.

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    1. Thank you for your opinion...but the Dargers aren't really a couple. They are more of a quadruple. Anyway besides my being overanalytical...am I the only one to question why Vickie didn't discuss the problem with legal spouse Alina? Wouldn't Alina's name be on the account as spouse?










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    2. I am not on our electric bill for the house, only my husband. Both spouses do not need to be on the account. I don't think it is a big deal at all.

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    3. It's because they seem to have divided up jobs he says in the blog that Vickie is responsible for paying bills. They gave already demonstrated how well they work together compared to the Browns, papa joe just ain't used to things going wrong!! Lol

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    4. LOL Naomi, Common sense would tell most people that if you are the one paying bills. You would need to be able to discuss the account.

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    5. It depends on the place you live in the US. Many gas companies, electric, etc., will only speak to the one on the bill. Other areas are much more lenient.
      Consider the fact that they live in a male dominated -male RULED area, they might not speak to anyone but Joe.

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    6. Since when did having a conversation become blowing something up? This is a conversation, and presented as such.


      "This is an honest blog about struggles that almost all married couples have"

      Well, I agree we our best to be honest, but the struggles we discuss, in reality, most couples don't have based on the fact that most honest, legal couples don't have 3 spokes in their wheel.

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    7. I agree with CJ, whether Alina was on the bill or not Vickie could have discussed it with her. I realize they all have their various jobs but it shouldn't be so regimented that something cannot be discussed and help sought.

      Also agree with Mister Sister. The struggles we see in these families are sometimes made worse because of the number of people involved in the "marriage".

      I also don't think anyone "blew something up". We're just discussing it.

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    8. I tend to think of it in terms of a small business. At least in the Darger household, everyone seems to be responsible for something important/essential. Vicki was responsible for making sure the bills got paid on time, and she screwed up, causing their gas to be shut off and Joe to have to take time out of his already busy schedule as *the family breadwinner* to smooth it all out. And according to the blog he felt badly about his reaction almost immediately thereafter. In my job, if I dropped the ball and failed to have a deliverable in on or before the due date...my whole team would be extremely ticked off to say the least!

      He's human and so is she, it was an unpleasant surprise and really, think about it, if it's a regular recurring bill Vicki should have been on top of that. Why she doesn't have online billpay set up who knows. that's on her IMO and YES I would have been pissed too!!!

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    9. Maybe they didn't have the funds to make to make the payment??

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  2. Maybe it is just me, but Plyg problems such as how to feed and pay the gas bill for a family of double digit numbers seem to be a matter or consequence of conscious choices.

    A reliable job with a reliable paycheck seems to be a wise choice if daily necessities such as access to hot water for cooking and bathing is desired. Changing that pattern up to be self-employed (in a dicey economy) does carry risks...and again, it is a choice.
    It's hard to get vested in their dilemmas, since their lifestyle is their choice, just as it is in Kodyworld.

    However, I do agree with you...why not get the legal wife to call the gas company? Unless, that account is strictly in his name? If that is the case, then that's a problem for them all.

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  3. Not necessarily Cynical Jinx. Most of the utilities are in my name and when I remembered, I added my husband's. I think there are a couple of bills that are just under his name. It was a matter of him setting up some bills and me setting up some when we moved. :)

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    1. My husband set up all the utilities in his name because I HATE dealing with stuff like that. I pay all the bills each month, and if there is a problem with anything I have him call or go in. I tried calling the garbage company once for a larger trash can, but they wouldn't let me and would only talk to him. I guess I should have him add my name to the accounts.

      I also believe that it is illegal to turn off the gas in a house that has a child under 3 living in the household. At least in my part of California it is. I don't know if the Darger family has any little kids, but gas can be a necessity for little ones in certain areas of the country at cold times of year.

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    2. Freya,
      This link may provide information that might answer your question. As far as Utah is concerned, it does not look like there are any laws regarding children. Also it seems to be somewhat of a process to be deemed utility privileges even if you do have a legitimate cause.

      http://liheap.ncat.org/Disconnect/disconnect.htm

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  4. Oh yeah, and since Papa Joe is such a control freak, I am sure he wanted them under his name and his name alone!

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  5. On a personal level I really liked the Darger family, especially after I read their book and saw them on tv. I don't think polygamy is a beneficial system, and that their family puts a happy face on a twisted monster. But as people, I like them. Even Papa Joe. Maybe simply because he's the anti Kody? I'd honestly rather watch them than the Browns. I'm pretty sure that if the cameras and lights were on for a little while in that household, a whole bunch of cray-cray, insecurity, jealousy, and other unpleasant humaneness would come to the forefront. I thought the Browns were nice and functional at one time. Then they started being themselves.

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    1. I liked the Darger's as well. I thought they seemed very sincere on the show and I really liked their book. I will say that they seemed to really have these religious beliefs that I have never seen with the Brown's.

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  6. This is a strange story. All of our utilities were in my husband's name, but I paid the bills and dealt with any issues. I just said I was his wife and there was never any problem. (Granted, we never had any utility cut off.)

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  7. From Joe's blog post: "If you are not providing, you are not much of a man."

    Can you imagine what he must think of Kody in his heart of hearts? I can see a million reasons he would want to replace Kody as the face of the Plygnation but not follow his path in reality TV.

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  8. When I read about the Dargers struggling financially, I immediately thought of comparing the Darger financial situation to the Browns. The Dargers have one home. The Browns have four homes (and four very large electric bills) . The heat is oppressive in Las Vegas and the A/C is on about 7 months a year….I would imagine in the summer months we are talking about at least $400 per month per house. . Joe has appeared to have a good work ethic. Kody…ok, well we don’t need to go there. But when the reality show money goes away, and it will (I seriously think this is the last season coming up, there is no momentum at all with SisterWives) be even worse for the Browns. I can’t envision a scenario where they can keep up with their monthly bills, unless all four adults are working at reliable, steady jobs that provide health insurance. After a few years, we will see some sort of passing story on the Browns and how they felt ‘led’ to move to the country and walk away from their material lives and live in some trailers (nothing wrong with that) and spend more time as a family.
    I like Joe Darger. It must have been difficult for him to talk about this publicly and admit his feelings of failure. I think the true reality is that it’s darn hard anymore to stretch a budget for any of us, so imagine having that many kids to feed, clothe, house, etc. it’s got to be daunting to be responsible for that many people, gosh I feel stressed out being responsible for three people and I have a steady job! Anyhow, I admire that Joe will admit he is having problems and have no doubts that if he needs to, he will get back out there and get that reliable and steady paycheck twice a month. Joe takes care of business.
    And that is the truth about large families – Duggars, Dargers, Bates or Browns - they are expensive!

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    1. I think this may be the last season for Sister Wives as well, unless something major happens (which I doubt). The Brown's better be ready for the reality show money to stop with all 5 adults working full time jobs. They may as well give it up with the online business.

      Unless of course their ponzi scheme or whatever the green goo business is working out for them financially....

      And I have to agree, at least Joe cared about the gas being cut off. Could you imagine Kody giving 2 figs if their gas had been cut off in Lehi? He would have had Janelle or one of the wives handle it.

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    2. I tend to agree with CPA Carol here. Not seeing a huge issue with the gas (almost) being turned off. and at least, Joe is being proactive about financial troubles - I'm guessing that unlike Kody/Brown fam, the Dargers aren't in a huge hole of debt, but they have kids approaching college age, needing their own cars and the insurance to go with it etc and he's being proactive by doing some number-crunching to determine that things are going to be tight, with him starting a new business and this was made real for him when the gas was turned off. things happen. and oh yeah, when my ex and I were together, all the utilities were in my name and if we had an issue, I had to call because they wouldn't talk to him (later rectified by having him included as an "authorized user" on the accounts).

      Now the second blog post, about why they aren't doing a reality show, I found MUCH more interesting. And I actually have MORE respect for Papa Joe as a result and he made it CRYSTAL CLEAR they weren't in it for the bucks - different for the Browns - who made it equally crystal clear that for them "it's all about the Benjamins" and for Kody, being the center of attention that he loves SOOO much. IMO.

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    3. Since you mentioned My Sister Wives Closet, CPA Carol, I thought I would point out an interesting pin from Sobbin' Robyn on her Pinterest account today. I can't post the link to the actual pin here, but it was a meme of this Ira Glass (NPR) quote about creativity:

      “Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

      ― Ira Glass

      I found it interesting.

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    4. so, in her passive/aggressive roundabout style, Sobbin's agreeing now w/the vast majority (based on dismal sales) that her childish crap joolery is truly childish crap joolery. but of course, it's not her fault as she's an artistic genius in embryo and we need to be patient while she develops into a full-fledged professional. wonder what her prices will be then since she's overcharging for her amateur crap now? hah!

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  9. Peanut Butter FritosMay 21, 2013 at 5:09 PM

    I thought the Darger wives were smarter than this. No way to dry laundry? Seriously. No way to do dishes? Ugh.

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    1. I agree! Boo hoo, I don't know how to dry my laundry in the month of MAY! lol

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    2. Not everyone has clotheslines - I don't. No room.
      I'd have to use a laundromat. Even for just me that's a huge pita. For the entire fam - ugh!

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    3. i bet the Browns are getting a huge karma laugh on this one! Even the perfectly run tight ship of Papa Joe's can run aground and he pitches a Kody fit and has to do a public mea culpa. well, he didn't HAVE to if he hadn't made it all public on a blog to begin with. which just seems awkward now really. both of these families are attention hounds and are in no way selling the public on how wonderful the beautiful life of polygamy is over boring old monogamy.

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  10. That pic of Papa Joe with hair. Looks like Jack Black. lol

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    1. HAHAHAHA! He really does!

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    2. Oh Modest, that was brilliant!

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  11. I don't have sympathy for people that create a family situation with one husband, 3 wives, a ton of children... and then have problem with the fact that it is darn expensive and chaotic. Those are basically the reasons that the rest of us stop at x number of children.

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    1. Very sensibly put and true. Have as many kids as you want. Just make sure you can honestly AFFORD them.

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  12. Joe's May 7th post -
    A bit off topic, but of the issue..
    A friend that lives in Oregon had issues like this. For some reason my friend missed paying their elec. bill... some confusion, she thought her husband had bfore he left on a trucking job, anyway, long story short, they shut her elec. off on a Friday Their entire home is all elec. in the middle of winter. Anymore, the rules folks thought were in place to protect children, etc., simply aren't there or are not enforced when it comes to a late bill. IF you lived in a area that would only speak to the one on the bill, esp. if you just live together, you could get into trouble. However, I've never seen a company TURN AWAY money if someone was paying it. Why didn't Vickie just run down and pay it? This makes me question the control issues in that family. Yes, companies are cruel and mean. But when you are handing them the green.... they don't seem to have any problem taking it from anyone!

    Everyone knows I love Duck Dynasty. They were holding out for more money. Don't blame them, that's a huge crew on the show! Interestingly enough, AETV was wanting less religion/preaching and to even take the Walton like dinner "sign off" out of the show. And the Robertsons said... no religion, no show, It's who we are.

    Which puts what Joe is saying somewhat askew. Not only did the AETV pay the big bucks, they kept it as the Robertsons wanted, family and religion oriented. Isn't that a complete contradiction to what Papa Joe is saying? This show is very family friendly, no fighting, lots of silliness mixed with morals and family situations. Seems SOME one wants that type of show. Maybe it was just their personalities that TLC didn't think they could sell? Is he trying to say THEY wouldn't sell out like the browns in a round about type of way? Me thinks so.

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  13. **Please keep your comments on topic about the Dargers-I just wanted to give you a reminder to watch POLYGAMY USA - The Baptism, on National Geographic Channel at 9 pm ET. tonight.

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  14. I believe Joe is taking his resposibility of being the provider to heart. Which I commend him. Although he may not have dealt with the phone call very well, atleast he realized it and appoligized for his rudeness. Whether you have one child or 20 children in this society with economy it is hard to survive. I am glad to see the Dargers take their duties sincerely.

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    1. uhm, yeah, most people do this because that's what you're supposed to do for the family you've created. most people don't think it's the taxpayer's job to do it instead like the Browns do.

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  15. This blog entry was so strange. He writes he blew up at his wife about the gas being turned off. Then he writes a blog about it and says he'll get the gas turned back on tomorrow, "Tomorrow I will call the gas company and get it straightened out. After all the blaming and beating myself up, I am humbled. Today I learned there is no humility in humiliation." This is what should've happened, Vicki calls, tells the problem, he gets out of his meeting and calls the gas company. Not sit down and write a blog about it. Weird.

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    1. That is a good point. Instead of writing, why not problem solve, Joe?

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    2. Hopeful, I agree it was an odd post. I can't help thinking it was an online smackdown of Kody Brown.

      For example:

      Papa Joe = I pay my bills. I work hard. I am not a man unless I support my family. I am under tremendous stress.

      Kody Brown = oh look, a mirror!

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    3. it's an extremely weird way to not only handle a private family matter but also to just quit talking/writing about it and git 'r done TODAY! if he had time to take the call from her, he had time to call the gas company and get it taken care of right then. and i'm like the others here. i can't see that it would matter that you're not the name on the account in order to get the bill paid!! i can see if it's to get it shut off or some other info but yeah - you call and say your his wife and he's out of town and unavailable and you need to know what you need to do to get the gas turned back on - they'll gladly tell you how much to put on a credit card over the phone or where to go to pay it in cash. yeah - even in utah! (i used to live there.) anyway, these women don't seem to communicate any better w/each other than the browns either.

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  16. I found the last post by one of the Darger wives sad. Complaining of the jealousy that arises when Joe takes another for a one on one vacation. I confess it took a lot of will power to not comment with some snark. So I came here ;)

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  17. Didn't PJ&Co say that they didn't get a show because they weren't dramatic enough, later because TLC didn't want "another sister wives" and now because it doesn't go with their values?!

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    1. My opinion is a year after making the plyg-cation episode with the Browns and then representing polygamists at the Brown's lawsuit court proceedings (that the Browns were "too busy" apparently to attend) may have caused that shift in Papa Joe's public stance. In his passive aggressive way, Papa Joe is calling out Kody on his nonsense. Remember Kody said that he was too afraid to venture back to Utah to attend any of the court proceedings, well Papa Joe LIVES in the SLC area - he showed up and he wasn't arrested. And we know that Kody and wives travel to Utah all the time. Kody wasn't there because he couldn't make a buck out of it and not enough people would be there to feed his ego...and of course, Utah is much too boring when you're hobnobbing with Zlist Vegas entertainers and demonstrating gambling machines on TV!

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    2. CJ,
      This! Words out of my mouth. They have proven themselves time and time again as extremely flaky/lazy when no $$$ is offered. They could care less about their "message."

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  18. Off Topic
    I know some people wanted to see the Natalie Morales interview (2012)again. It will be reairing this Friday on TLC 4am(MST).
    CJ - I didn't know where to post this so everyone would see it. If there is a more apporpriate place, please place it there.
    Thank you

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    1. I just set my DVR. Sweet! I live in AR, so it comes on at 5 am here. Thanks Anon 11:52!

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  19. I live in Utah, and yes you get the "love note" on your door saying you have 48 hours to pay up or be in the dark. Same with the gas company. Does anyone know the address for the Lehi plyg home? I live like 5 minutes from Lehi, and I have wanted to drive by it and see it for myself.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Megan,

      Please read SWB posting guidelines in regards to your request.

      Thanks!

      SWB Posting Guidelines

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  20. To me, it sounds like there wasn't enough money in their bank account. He never says that, of course, but I know that I can pay my water, electric and gas bills online or by phone as long as I have my account number, last 4 of SS# and address info. Once, in an emergency situation, my mother paid mine in person and it was not a big deal.
    Poor Janelle, I mean Vicki! Seriously in a family that complicated, staying on top of the bills must be a challenge.

    (Now back to my continuous updating of HLNTV.com for Verdict Watch 2013. Dear God, please let it end!)

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    1. Yep, I have to agree with you. Like MisterSister mentioned, companies (that includes credit card, utilities etc) generally do NOT turn away someone wanting to pay a bill. However, if you're calling to make some kind of payment arrangements (a little late in this case) or perhaps, the conversation was escalated by the caller asking for a supervisor or manager, I can understand the caller being told to have the account holder call.

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    2. I have never personally had my power cut off from lack of payment but something tells me they give you fair warning (nagging) before they do. It was a lame post. Period.

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    3. @CJ, right?! Many moons ago, our landline phone was in my then-boyfriend's name and I wasn't allowed to change our service (this was back in the late '90s and I think I wanted to add that new-fangled Caller ID or something like that).
      @Amy, I'll admit that I've skated the fine line between paying a little late and paying a lot late on a few bills. Believe you me, they all send a late notice and then call to remind you. I know with our electricity, you get a little yellow notice on your door 24 hours before they turn it off -that was an honest mistake; I did not realize that Entergy would assign you a new account number when you moved so I was happily paying by phone using my old account number. Whoops, but even that was an easy fix. Even then, I had made two payments to the wrong account before they physically came out to my home. It's not as if the service is turned off because you're a day late.


      I haven't actually watched the Dargers' special nor do I know much about them. What did Joe do before? I can't imagine leaving a job with (hopefully) a dependable income to start my own business right now. Not with such a large family.

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  21. Okay!
    So....the comments on his post were "Poor Joe..."
    What about POOR VIVKI?
    Hello? Why was no one saying, "I feel your pain, Vicki!"
    Ugh - disgusting.

    This feeds the fact that Joe is all about Joe. He doesn't need a mirror...he gets his ego from the constant ego-stroking from his wife and girlfriends. I can only imagine their nightly routine..."It's your night, wife #?. Shall we begin by massaging my feet? Then afterwards, you can tell me how handsome I am...and then you can shine my head."
    lol!

    AND...this is yet another reason why polyandry (more than one HUSBAND) makes more sense to me! ha ha!!
    Think about it...more than one full-time wage-earner...
    more people to handle the "honey-do" list (that yard would be immaculate)...
    LESS kids (who wants 39 kids running to greet them at the door every time they come home?)
    The perfect man cave would finally be put to use.
    and the list could go on, but I think that this is a family blog, so I'll stop there. :)

    So...sorry PJ, you don't get my sympathy. Vicki gets it this time. You embarrassed her publicly by telling us that she forgot a bill. You depicted her as a frantic person who can't handle her responsibilities. And then, you very carefully crafted your blog entry to garner the attention and "there-there"s.

    Time to move on, people. :)

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    1. this is yet another reason why polyandry (more than one HUSBAND) makes more sense to me! ha ha!!
      Think about it...more than one full-time wage-earner


      Unfortunately, the examples I've seen concerning polyandry, the wife was the breadwinner while the husbands stayed at home.

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    2. I'm not sure I'd want to handle 2 husbands. That's 2 times everything meaning if you have 2 with large egos, that's more pandering.

      When they're sick, that's 2 babies in addition to your children. My husband is very good until he's sick, then it's like he has the bubonic plague or something and of course, it's worse than anyone else's in the world - times 2? No thanks!

      Yes the honey do list might get done, but would you have to "remind" them 2x as much? No, nothing about this situation screams out to me that it would be a good idea.

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    3. the examples i've seen where polyandry actually works is when the men are also free to still have relationships w/other women as well as there's no children in the household. but once, the men are free to pursue other relationships alongside their one "wife" they're "married" to, then that is really more like a free love commune and can't really be compared to the religious polygamy we know and hate. plus - there's the factor of it's all much less complicated without a bunch of kids thrown into the mix. anyway, it seems like true polyandry is just as unhappy and unfulfilling as polygyny is.

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    4. I agree Funky Town. It is kinda fun to joke about though.lol

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  22. Struggling financially and unable to pay utility bills, but able to go on a few vacations? I fail to see how that works. Priorities are a little different from most people out there.

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    1. I agree LucyJRT, the Dargers seem to go on a lot of vacations. I have been married for almost 11 years and my husband and I have only been on one real vacation together. We just can't afford it and so we go for little mini trips close to home. Both the Dargers and Brown family seem to think that trips are mandatory whether you can afford it or not. There are many ways to have a happy marriage, regular vacations are not required! :)

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    2. I just came back from the Dargers blog. Joe and Alina took a 2 week vacation in March and then their gas got turned off in May. sounds to me Vickie ignored the gas bill to get back at Joe and Alina for taking that vacation. It must be hell to live in that house.

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    3. @ Anonymous 9:28PM

      I don't think that the relationship between PJ's wifies is that much better than Krody's. It's just that they are blood related and PJ keeps a tight control on his flock.

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    4. A two week vacation while starting a new business with no guaranteed income? Seems to me that Joe has his financial priorities mixed up.

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  23. Papa Joe's need to bare his soul to his bloggers strikes me as either pandering or overkill.
    Come on, big guy, get a grip !

    He has a mini breakdown because there was a glitch on a payment and the gas was turned off. A problem that had an immediate remedy.
    Hate to see how he reacts if something really challenging happens.

    And yes, not nice of him to out his wife, showing her to be "problem" while he waxes about what an insightful guy he is.

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    1. AMEN - Amused. put your big girl panties on, Papa Joe, and deal with it!! and way to go to let the world know publicly it was Vicki's fault and not really yours. btw - if you're holding these family budget meetings so diligently, exactly how DID this get overlooked by YOU??? hmmm ... maybe your tight ship's system is broken or not really in place like you think it is?

      oh, and i know plenty of men who profess to truly love their wife but can still be asses to them. :)

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    2. Even the best run ship experiences snafus from time to time. and I have a VERY hard time believing that Joe posted that without Vicki's say-so.

      I know I sound like an apologist for the Darger's but I don't see Joe as the monster others seem to believe he is. I think he's just a take charge guy, and the wives knew that going in that was the way it was gonna be. If they wanted to be in a more equal, "liberated" relationship, then they would've done so. Apparently, Wife #3 (I always get them mixed up) came from a truly abusive relationship.

      The thing that really bugs me about the Browns isn't so much the polygamy lifestyle - it's the way they are cashing in and the adult's laziness and trying to get as much as they can doing as little as possible. YUP and I am including Janelle in that as well. Yeah I know, the first season we saw her going to work early and working long hours at the office, but obviously she preferred sitting at her desk doing office work to the physical labor of taking care of her kids - giving her a lot more alone time. They all tweet about how hard they are working, but I have my doubts. Joe has a job and he doesn't just pontificate, he actually takes an active role in his kids' lives etc.

      Polygamy isn't the way I would want to live but I'm not about to vilify Joe Darger as being a monster just because he confesses to having been upset that their gas was turned off. And I have a hard time believing that Vicki was being vindictive because one of the other wives had a vacation with Joe - when the gas is turned off, everyone suffers the inconvenience. It just sounds like a ditzy thing to do, to ignore the bills and notices that probably came through - again that is Vicki's responsibility, but she's human and not infallible.

      as far as blogging about it, remember one of their sources of income IS the blog. so it behooves Joe and the wives to blog often, therefore they need to have fresh topics. I myself have had utilities turned off (was without a phone for 7 years) for failure to pay. It happens.

      Delete
    3. Hi DJ,

      I don't think Joe is a monster...never said that, nor believe that.
      What I do believe is that he is just yet another polygamist who has a larger than large family and is trying to capitalize on the current fascination/interest society has in the Plygworld. Their book, their Special, their "maybe" show, the blog, etc. are, after all, about getting attention/notoriety, as well as the $$.

      If he needs a blog to augment their income to feed their kids, then so be it. But just like with the Browns, if you go public, then be prepared for other people to not be ready to stroke you or be inspired by your tell-all.
      What he was describing in his blog as a mini catastrophe is just an annoying and mundane event that can and has happened to many people.

      Is it special because it happened to him? From his perspective, probably.
      However the rules and regs of their life and how they co-run their household only make sense to them.

      At the end of the day, he is a guy who lives and sleeps with twin sisters and their cousin as his three wives.

      They all have made their proverbial bed.
      Just like Kody and his quartet of women.

      Peace :)))

      Delete
    4. I totally agree, amused. I think that most electric/phone/etc companies also make payment arrangements when you're in a bind, if you call and ask. IMO, this is either PJ doing damage control for some reason, his way of trying to teach others how to behave when someone effs up, or a desperate cry for attention ("see, we got drama!") to get picked up for a show.

      To me, PJ et al are still creepy, just in a different, slightly less offensive way than the Browns. Lol!

      Delete
  24. well, i've long stated here my own dislike and distrust of him and put him on my own initial gut radar of being a control freak. this just validates it once again. over-reacting and looking for someone to blame is what control freaks do best. i've always stated here i was no more on TEAM DARGER than i was on their competitor TEAM BROWN and that the chinks in the Dargers armor would quickly be exposed if they also did a reality show.

    once again, i feel for the children involved and hope that most of them take advantage of their free will (if that's really true or at least without relationship consequences for doing so) and STOP THE INSANITY of the religious polygamy they had the misfortune of being born into.

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  25. You know something strikes me about Joe's blog.
    Funny he has plainly set himself apart from the goofy, fun loving Browns with all his plans.
    Now he has spent a large chunk on a looonngg vacation, and not paid his gas bill?

    Doesn't that sound like a page from the book of the Browns?
    Usually I'm not the Cynical one (nod to my partner) but could it be he actually IS trying to fit into so sort of mold.... to get a show?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Valerie wrote in her blog that the 2 weeks was "part work, part play". it doesn't say where they went, how they traveled or where they stayed. For all we know, they might have stayed with relatives - she mentions that they were able to spend time with Alina's son, his wife and baby, and her parents. I rather doubt they stayed at any pricey hotels. Again, Vicki was responsible for making sure the gas bill got paid, and she dropped the ball. Live and learn. I've done the same...this was prior to online billpay of course! lol

      Delete
  26. in da living roomMay 24, 2013 at 12:35 AM

    I've had the utilities shut off in my household, because my spouse has total control of the household money. There were plenty of warning letters, but I could do nothing, as he has total control,, btw, I'm in the process of divorce, to get out of my abusive situation,, it took many years to take this very hard step, but maybe when those girls have had enough, like I finally did, they'll get the strength and courage to move forward, it's definitely not easy, after devoting your life to a large family, as I did, and then going off on your own in your middle age.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good luck and I say good for you for taking that step. I hope you are safer and dealing with all the changes okay.

      Delete
    2. in da living roomMay 24, 2013 at 11:44 PM

      Thanks funky town!
      :)

      Delete
  27. The bills could be in her name if she is managing the account.

    I don't think he was all that awful. People freak about this stuff initially.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that's the way I feel - I would've freaked out too.

      Delete
    2. No problem with his freaking out and then *fixing* the problem.
      These things happen. We had it happen with the phone years ago. Stupid oversight, but it did cause problems until it was straightened out.

      For me, it just seems that these now *famous* plyg guys have a forum to divulge things that aren't that earth-shattering in the normal context of managing a household.
      However, if for financial needs, the Dargers are quietly angling for a show, this surely could be a juicy segment. Just like it could be a compelling hook for their blog, with the promise of future private disclosures.

      After witnessing the duplicity and scamming by the Browns since their debut. I guess my cynical radar is way up with these folks.

      Delete
  28. You freak out, go pay the bill or partial bill and make arrangements then you apologize to anyone you freaked out in front of. However, it is something I want no one to know about! I do not go around telling others I had my gas shut off! How embarrassing is that. There are some things that dont need to get out there. I still think 3 women blood related with the same man is absolutely icky.

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  29. I really don't think he freaked out. That was considered a pretty lame freak out compared to when my husband gets mad.

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  30. I am in charge of the bills at our house. In December, I had an unexpected surgery so my husband was in charge for a few weeks while I recovered. He forgot to pay the water bill and it was cut off. Even though it is registered in his name, I went to the water company, paid the bill, and they turned it back on. I don't think they care who pays, as long as they get their money.
    I would not be a good plg wife because I would like some of the benefits and ignore some of the "responsibilities". If I was busy, I would say, "Go see X tonight. I want to read a book." I would not be first in line to babysit everybody else's kids. I would have 2, since I feel like I could not handle more than that number, and would not feel much sympathy for the person that had 6 and then whined about needing help with child care. If they decide to have 6, then they can take care of 6 and don't expect me to come over and take up their slack.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. in da living roomMay 25, 2013 at 11:43 PM

      I had six,, and very happily took care of them all myself,, nursing, no binkys, cloth diapers daytime, only using disposables at nite, etc. I agree,, I would never expect, or ask, for anyone else to do my job, it was my privilege! They shouldn't take the responsibilities on, if they're going to pass it off, and whine about it!

      Delete
  31. Honestly I think PJ is a scary dude. He posts publicly to humiliate/humble his wife/girlfriend. Who shares that kind of thing? And if he just thought it'd humanize them to post it why name names?

    But honestly I can never get over the ick factor of him marrying three woman who are blood related.

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    Replies
    1. That old guy from Centennial Park is scarier in my opinion. So what are your feelings of Queen Elizabeth? She married her cousin and they shared the same great great grandmother Queen Victoria.

      Delete
    2. My dad's parents were second cousins, with the same last name...all 8 of their children turned out just fine. Brilliant, actually...

      I don't get the same squicky factor about the blood relations between the Darger wives - the Mormon plyg communities in general seem to come from a pretty small gene pool/family names. so I'm guessing its fairly common.

      Delete
    3. And don't forget Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt...

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    4. I dont think Rooney meant anything about gene pool, I think it was more about how its odd for a man to marry too sisters and their cousin... its a bit different than cousins marrying each other

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    5. I wasn't commenting on the gene pool, just two sisters and a cousin seems kinda weird. Havent gotten to watch the new show, but will soon!
      Sorry to offend I didn't think it was that weird of a comment. Lol

      Delete
    6. And obviously one man who marries 3 blood related woman isn't inbreeding.

      Queen Victoria? No thoughts. Sorry! I was honestly not thinking of it from that direction.

      I can't even see sharing clothes with my sister, much less a man. Thats what I was thinking.

      PJ just reminds me of one of those men who rules his household by making his women feel inferior or like without him they are too stupid to function. Like so many plyg men I'm sure. I couldn't.watch the Papa Joe show.

      Delete
  32. Hello,

    I've been reading this blog almost as long as it's been up. Never commented before. I think the polygamists are about the same as a lot of people today. They want attention, and use social media to get it. The only difference is that people are more interested in their stuff because they are so different in their "lifestyle that they CHOSE". Thank you for all of the laughs on here btw.

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  33. My only thoughts on his blog post is: It is summer time in the desert, why do they need gas to dry their clothes? Use the sunlight and wind. Have all those children help hang the clothes outside to dry. Save money and teach work ethics.

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