Game of Groans

During the recent half season of Sister Wives have you been excited by the sister wives’ verbal sword play and emotional backstabbing?  Do you miss the intrigue, seduction, lavish costly adequate meagre sets and costumes of the Las Vegas casas del Browns?  Then you will love our very own

Game of Groans: the Sister Wives Edition also known as: Browns Don’t Pay Their Debts / Cancellation is Coming

Do you know who made the following comments?

First prize is a no-expense paid vacation to Robyn’s house in Las Vegas to babysit her children while she and Kody have a second honeymoon.

1.       “Love should be multiplied, not divided.”

a.      Kody Brown

b.     Mrs. Brown, my 4^th grade math teacher

c.      Reverend Brown, minister at the First Street Methodist church

d.      James Brown, Godfather of Soul: married 3 times, had 9

   Answer:  Score two points if you answered anything but “a”.  Unfortunately, however, it was Doofus who made this comment.  Apply brain bleach and deduct 10 points if you answered a.

2.     “We don’t do weird.”

a.      Meri Brown

b.     The Brown M&M

c.      Chris Brown (Rihanna’s ex)

d.      Bobby Brown (the late Whitney Houston’s ex)

   Answer:  The Brown M&M, of course.  After reading the Brown’s book, it is apparent that Meri is very weird; therefore, “a” cannot be true.  Five bonus points if you have the inside scoop on whether this comment is true.

3.     “Hold on there Johnny Appleseed.”

a.      Hunter Brown

b.     John Chapman (Johnny Appleseed’s real name)

c.      John McIntosh (discovered the McIntosh apple)

d.      Maria Smith (discovered the Granny Smith apple)

e.       John Cripps (developed the Pink Lady / Cripps Pink apple)

Answer:  Hunter Brown.  An extra 10 points if you know what the comment means. 

4.     “I’ve been praying about it ever since we met.”

a.      Robyn Brown

b.     Zac Brown (country singer)

c.      The unsinkable Molly Brown

d.      Dan Brown (wrote “The Da Vinci Code”)

Answer:  Robyn said this when providing Meri with her offer of surrogacy.  However, we think it would be better as a country song lyric.  Are you reading this Zac?

5.     “Modest is hottest.”

a.      Christine Brown

b.     Christina Hendricks, actress on “Mad Men” (has considerable “assets”)

c.      Christina Aguilera, singer (albums include “Stripped” and “Just be Free”)

d.      Christian Bale, actor (famous for his leaked on-set X-rated rant)

Answer:  Gee, this is a difficult question.  The answer is, Christiane Amanpour, CNN correspondent.

6.     “How do you date as a married man?”

a.      Kody Brown

b.     Kody’s friend Andy

c.      Kelsey Grammer

d.      Every married Mormon fundamentalist man

Answer:  While Kody’s friend Andy (married to Nicole) said the words, the quote applies to “e”.  Do you remember Andy and Nicole?  They belonged to the AUB, but hadn’t yet taken a second wife.  We hope they still haven’t!

7.     Toasters kill more people than sharks.

a.      Christine Brown

b.     The brave little toaster

c.  Jaws

d.  Cylons and Transformers disguised as toasters

Answer:  This was actually a clever marketing ploy by Kenmore to boost microwave sales.

8.     “_____ is a raging testosterone monster.”

a.      Hunter Brown

b.     Detective Sergeant Rick Hunter (Hunter, the 1980s TV series)

c.      Kody Brown

d.      Solomon Brown

e.      Solomon Grundy

Answer:  Kody said this about his son Hunter.  We think that Kody is actually the testosterone monster.

9.     Who was worried that someone might “proslight” about Mormon fundamentalism (Mormon pronunciation of “proselytize”)?

a.      Kody’s friend Ken

b.     The Pope

c.      Elton John

d.      Reese Witherspoon’s mother (accused her husband of bigamy)

Answer:  All the above, with special emphasis on Ken, who apparently lacks a dictionary.

10.  Who has the scarlet P?

a.      Kody Brown

b.     Kody Coxxx, adult film performer

c.      Buffalo Bill Cody, you know who he is

d.      Diablo Cody, writer

Answer:  As usual, Doofus put his foot in his mouth when he attempted to sound literate and compare “The Scarlet Letter” to polygamy.  The result sounded more like something that required antibiotics. 

11.   Who says they will be out of the house the day they turn 18?

a.      Madison Brown

b.     Helen Gurley Brown

c.      Sylvia Brown (the psychic)

d.      Jackson Browne, singer-songwriter

Answer:  Madison is apparently psychic (and feminist) as she says she will be will be supporting herself the day she turns 18, even if she is running on empty and that being a sister wife is definitely not for her.  You go girl!

Written by" Terrasola