The New Season of Sister Wives: What do YOU think we will see?

Yes, Spring is here...but where's the Sister Wives show? While we wait patiently for the new season to begin (sometime this spring, check TLC for details, bwahahahaha!), let's ponder what we will see.

Many thanks to our intrepid commenter  Amused, whose latest comment not only is an excellent recap of the Sister Wives's past seasons, but leads up to some interesting prognostications for the new season!

Cynical


Amused  Mar 31 2012

As the Kodyworld Circus begins a new season, one wonders what gripping scenarios TLC has cooked up to maintain the increasingly bored and dubious SW fan base.

Looking back, there already has been some pretty bizarre premises.

The madcap exodus from Utah, running from the law, ala Bonnie (s) and Clyde.
Kind of easy to see now that TLC just HAD to come up with some premise to get them out that Utah house. They were all packed in there like hamsters and really, how many shows could there be about them eating and eating and uhh, eating...oh, and sitting on the couch, discussing Plyg life.

Hmmm..what to do?? How about first have Kody get a hankering for a new wife...a younger, slimmer one of course? That could set the stage for a mass move.
Adding wife #4 was accomplished, and of course now there was no room in the habatrail for Robyn, so a compelling reason to leave en masse had to be created. Ah, the threat of prosecution, bingo!!
And since there had to be a sizable amount of TLC $$$ put on the table to finance renting FOUR houses in Vegas, the storyline had to be believable and sustainable.

Next was the "businesses"...There had to be a scenario for Kody to actually *work* since he didn't seem to actually have a job back in Utah.
Everything has been floated as potential ratings makers....from KodyWorld realtors, fitness trainers, LIV detoxers, pubic speaking, shilling for every restaurant, jelly maker, cosmetics, etc, etc. in Vegas.
Who knows what blockbuster ideas have been, and are yet to be spun over at TLC.

Thrown in for fillers have been exploiting Christine's depression/jealousy, Meri finally getting a true *sista*, Janelle looking ever more detached, the older kids "getting older" and of course, the birth of yet another Brown, complete w/ a promise to Meri to be gifted with yet another one.

But the stakes may be different now that the Dargers have come to town.
SW may have serious competition. And since TLC is the potential producer for both, should be interesting to see how they will position SW now. Wonder how long the SW contract is...or is it renewable at TLC's discretion?

But one thing is for sure, the *scripts* will likely have to be even more bizarre.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Thanks, Amused!

So everyone, what are YOUR thoughts on what 'scripts' we will see on this season of Sister Wives? Place your comments here, and then when the season is over, we'll see how many of us hit that proverbial nail on it's Kody-size head! 

I Scour the Internet: Pre April Fool's Day Edition 3/28/12

What a week this has been, and it's not even over yet! We've got Kody and Christine enjoying a trip  and a wonderful dinner to celebrate their anniversary, Meri on yet another road trip, and Janelle and Robyn doing nothing in particular for once.

But before we delve into the inaneness of Brown tweets...

If you've followed SWB this week, you know that 'Charley', the fledgling polygamist who appeared on Anderson Cooper's talk show recently, made a quick smash, grab, and run appearance on SWB. Now, if you ask me, I feel this appearance was fueled by a desire to generate traffic to his blog website. Yep, a SPAM attack from a polygamist. IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE? After googling  for the correct url (what lamebrain would give the wrong url when spamming? Yep, old sorry Charley!) I came across their fledgling blog.

HOLY COW, somebody was madder than a wet hen over there! Suffice to say, between the all cap shouting and inconsistent storytelling, Mama Hen Jackie was definitely on the proverbial warpath. Seems SWB didn't treat her hubby with respect. Aw, come on, just because we didn't genuflect and clean his jackboots with our hair, doesn't mean we didn't respect your 'wannabe a 50% husband' man. And if my eyes aren't deceiving me, who came onto this blog hurling insults?

So, in the spirit of true camaraderie with SWB, I hereby announce the April Fool's Fools Awards for Outrageous Behavior by Fledgling Polygamists Outside the Krazieness of the Kody Brown Krew.

First up, the Spiro T Agnew TV Journalism Award for Punking a Pair of Pusillanimous Polygamists goes to Anderson Cooper! According to Mama Hen, a mean old producer hoodwinked the innocent fledgling polygamists into appearing on Anderson with the old bait and switch game. You see, they thought the show was going to be about DATING, but it turned out to be about PLURAL MARRIAGE instead. Whatever...Anderson, enjoy your award, you handsome silver fox!

Next, the Stand By Your Man (I'm listening on the extension) Award goes to....Mama Hen Jackie! As Mama Hen tells it, Charley 'just happened' to be surfing plyg dating sites and 'just happened' to wind up in a chatroom on said plyg dating site which 'just happened' to contain not only Lovely Rebecca, but a Producer from Anderson Cooper's show. From that 'innocent' meeting, Mama Hen Jackie says that "...Charley and Rebecca chatted a little bit more over [the] phone - which I was included in..." Sure you were, hun. Enjoy your award!

The third award, the Run Like the Wind and Don't Look Back Award, goes to Rebecca, who if she has any self respect left will take heed of some definite warning signs and start visiting 'normal' dating websites in the future. May I suggest you look into applying for The Bachelor or Bachelor's Pad, perhaps?

Of course, last but not least (at least not in his own mind) we have the Sorry Charlie Award for Outrageous Egotism  which just has to go to that wannabe I Know Everything about Polygamy poster child, CHARLEY!! Come on down here and get your award, you deserve it!

CONGRATS Award Winners! From those "...twisted 'sister wife' blog.." people!

Oh hell, if you really need a laugh, (like the way SOME people NEED to be polygamists) here's the url: http://www.threelilpligs.com/

Now we segue from the insane to the inane...


Last Thursday, Robyn and Meri had lunch together:

How sweet! Lunch with a sisterwife, funny not to invite Janelle (we will see later why Christine couldn't make it - assuming of course she was invited). And why the need for a heart felt talk? At any rate, we already know from the show that Robyn and Meri are the epitome of sisterwifehood, right?

OUCH!! That didn't come out too good. Sounds like Meri is saying if she had a choice between listening to Robyn talk more or spending more time shopping, shopping wins. We'll just have to see if Meri or Robyn clarifies this conundrum  in a future tweet.

Of course, Meri's on her merry way to Utah, but this time she has passengers:

Wow, Aspyn certainly is making the rounds. Two trips to Disneyland, and now a trip to Utah. But why the lettuce throwing?...Hmmmm.....

Back home from Disneyland, only one thing is on Kody's mind...

Well, ya gotta do what ya gotta do, know what I mean?

Something unusual is happening in the Kody Kamp. First, Aspyn gets a car, and two trips to the happiest place on earth AND a road trip to Utah. Now Christine is being favored with an extended anniversary celebration - from Disneyland back to Vegas for a scrumptious meal.

And I'm so glad Christine has heeded my suggestion to be more descriptive when tweeting about restaurants and food!

 Christine, you need to focus on the food. Sounds like you're overacting a bit...

That's better!



Hey Meri! This is Christine's and Kody's time, butt out! Thank you!

Umm... A day later but no mention of Kody...Oh well, such is the life of a sister wife! Perhaps I could interest you in a Boyfriend Pillow??

Well, that's all for now. And remember, I Scour the Internet, so YOU don't Have to !

UPDATE 3/25/12 Anderson Cooper: Dating into Polygamy Part 1

UPDATE 3/25/12

Hi Everybody,

I bumped this article up because it appears someone who claims they are 'The Husband - Charley'  posted a comment. So what do you think? I've already given my 2 cents, what are your thoughts? 

Let's discuss!!

Cynical

Originally posted on 3/15/12
Interesting interview yesterday, however, I'm getting a definite 'Been There, Done That' vibe. If you remember the S03Ep08 Another Wife episode (here's a link to my SWB review http://sisterwivesblog.blogspot.com/2011/11/coming-soon-review-s03ep08-another-wife.html),  Nicole (Andy's wife) and Jackie share that same misty eyed faraway look in their eyes. Jackie's mouth is saying she wants a sister wife, but her eyes are saying something different.  Her mannerisms and words just don't jibe. And notice how she nervously scratches her arm when she discusses Rebecca: First when she meets her and later when she talks about the possible intimacy that would occur between Charlie and Rebecca should they choose to bring her in as a sister wife. Sorry Charlie (couldn't resist!) and especially Jackie, but when Rebecca made it clear  she would never allow a 1st wife to rule over her, you better start looking for someone else because this woman WILL become the alpha wife.  So much for the friendship Jackie claimed she was seeking. It was creepy how Rebecca and Jackie referred to the show 'Sister Wives' and how they wanted (yearned maybe better word) for that kind of relationship and lifestyle. It's a pity that the clips did not include Susan Schmidt's reply to the couple and Rebecca that the show 'Sister Wives' was not reality but a TV drama.

There will be a Part 2 posting that will have videos of Charlie, Rebecca, Jackie and Anderson taped backstage after the show.
Cynical

Couple meets potential sister wife for first time:





Susan Ray Schmidt: Couple who wants to add a wife is 'living a fantasy world':




Adding a sister wife to family: Benefits for women?




Continue the conversation: Your husband wants to add a wife--would you accept?
(Anderson continues to ask the audience questions after the screen goes black for a few seconds)

UPDATE 3/25/12: Anderson Cooper: Dating Into Polygamy Part 2

UPDATE 3/25/12

Hi Everybody,

I bumped this article up because it appears someone who claims they are 'The Husband - Charley' posted a comment. So what do you think? I've already given my 2 cents, what are your thoughts?

Let's discuss!!

Cynical

Originally published 3/15/12
Backstage segments not show on the TV show.



Charlie and Jackie after the show:





Backstage with Charlie Jackie and Rebecca:




Rebecca after the show:




Anderson backstage after the polygamist couple interview:

UPDATE 3/22/12!! I Scour the Internet: The Second Day of Spring Edition 3/21/12

Spring is here, so where's the Sister Wive's show? And as noted by Sandra (another intrepid SWB poster), what the heck is 'Niecy Nash doing in the Sister Wives time spot?

Now, even though we are sure Sister Wives is coming back - maybe even in time for the Summer Solstice ( LMAO) - it will be interesting to see if they stay in the same timespot. Here's a  Lourdes prediction: If Sister Wives is on some obscure weekday at an even more obscure broadcast time, chances are good there won't be a season 5.

But Peeps Love Sister Wives, Right???? Heck Yeah !!

Just don't overtax my already taxed out DVR, OK TLC???

So what kind of tweet traffic has been going on since last week?

Looks like the Browns (and their motley #1 fan crew) have been 'gently' urging their thousands of fans to show up for the Salt Lake City version of the Las Vegas shindig, where they can watch their favorite poly family shilling their Co-Operation Detaxification Let's get SkinneySisterwives Non margaritas. You know, I even saw a couple of testimonials from fans who actually ingested that stuff and lived to talk about it later. But ya gotta wonder (like I do) whether Kody will show his face in Salt Lake City. Hey Kody, you can cross the stateline in disguise - maybe  as Hugh Hefner?!? Sunglassses and smoking jacket is all you need! You can even borrow my shades (for a fee, of course)!

But back to reality....

Seems poor old Solomon Grundy  Kody got caught in a major Twitter faux pas by a fan, who twitted:

Say whut? Say it isn't so, Kody. Like, how doofus are you? Geez, polygamy may have multiplied your lovin' but it sure messed up your smarts. What do you have to say for yourself?

YIKES! So was that your philosophy when you were 'courting' Robyn? Or is that what a polygamist  says to himself when he's with the next wife on the rotation list?

Too bad the above tweet was not the Kodster's real answer.  Kody has to be Kody, so his answer has to have that typical Kody arrogance mixed with child-like innocence:

Uh, huh...Can you spell B U S T E D ??? But the question remains: Which wife was the ONLY wife on Kody's twit list. Was it traveling Meri? Nose to the financial grindstone Janelle? Laidback to the point of being horizontal Christine? Or Robyn, the Las Vegas NV Queen of Baby Ovens ?

Well, this one was a hard nut to crack. But fortunately, @K not only tweeted Kody, she tweeted a separate message to Janelle - whose reply no doubt was inspired by the Great, Late Tammy Wynette - please,  could somebody crank up Stand By Your Man on the old victrola?

So Kody only had ROBYN on his list. And Janelle unsurprisingly stands by her goofy headed baby daddy (and Part-Time Lover). GAG ME WITH A SPORK!

Just when you think it's safe to go back on Twitter, Meri and Kody decide to play it cute:

I can just imagine them sitting together, giggling like teenagers as they twit this stuff. Well, at least they are getting better at self-promotion, while sounding like they are having fun...well at least Meri sounded like she was having fun.

So what's been up with Christine? Last week she was squinting and hurting, this week she goes on a dinner date with her Kody and Aspyn:

What, no mexican food? Bet Kody was happy about that! Wait a minute, I'm getting mixed signals. Was this restaurant in California or was just the pier? Next time, give us a street like Kody does! AND let us know how good it was! We like to read that kind of stuff on twitter!



Hey what's Robyn been up to lately?

Ah yes, sharing parenting tips with the Dargers. And once they become grownups, they will learn that it's better to be feared than loved. Ask any despot or fundamentalist mormon man (independents included) - they swear by it.

But then Robyn carries the Darger lovefest a little too far with a fan:

Holy Moly! What are you thinking? Do you get a commission for 'suggesting' fans read a rival's (yes RIVAL) book before purchasing yours? Honey, learn from the Dargers. They sell DARGER and only DARGER 24/7.  Sheeesh!!

Last but not least. Rosie O'Donnell learned that her talk show had been cancelled after only six months on the air. Meri and Janelle tried to cheer Rosie up.

Now THAT's a dinner party I would like to attend! Maybe she'll take the entire Brown family on one of her cruises! Hey, that's a good idea - Cruises for Polygamists! Looking for a Sister Wife? Meet the wife you always wanted on our Cruise Ship! CRUISE LIKE A POLYGAMIST!

UPDATE !! UPDATE !! UPDATE!! UPDATE!! UPDATE !!

3/22/12

Now this is interesting. Seems that wonderfully cryptic tweet from Christine (while sitting on a pier) can be explained by  wonderfully enthusiastic tweets from daughter Aspyn...

Seems like a nice long vacation in the happiest place on earth...Makes you wonder...why now and will Robyn ever get to go with Kody to the happiest place on earth, too?

Wouldn't it be funny if Kody's and Meri's (and possibly other wives too) trips to Disneyland will be edited together to seem like the entire family vacationed at the same time? Not to mention they are probably killing two birds with one Kodestone - if this was a school week, maybe the parental units are being filmed visiting colleges/universities, which would explain the presence of Aspyn.

Let's discuss this, shall we?


So that's all for now, and remember, I Scour the Internet so You Don't Have To, everybody! (I hate ending a sentence with a preposition!)

I Scour the Internet: The St Patrick's Day Edition 3/17/12

Goodness Gracious, so much has happened to the Brown Family since we last met. The highs ? The announcement of a BOOK, coming out May 1st and written (cough, cough) by the Browns ! A birthday and every teen's most wanted item ! Another Co-Operation Detox Global Spectacular in Las Vegas ! And the low...(oopsy, my bad, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE INSURANCE) a FENDER BENDER !

But first, do y'all like my new chapeau?

OK, let's get down to it, shall we?

Somebody had a birthday...

 Aw, the proud daddy tweets...

 Even Meri tweeted her birthday greeting...

 Of course, Robyn was not going to be left out...no way!

 And Aspyn has WHEELS!

 So what does Christine have to say about this?

All righty then...MOVING ON!
The Browns spared no tweets in getting the word out about the Globular Operation DeTox Spectacular happening last weekend. The Browns are finally understanding that Twitter is the #1 social medium to accomplish self-promotion on a global scale.

The obligatory tweet for a free meah, eh?

Guess Kody and Krew over-indulged, thus requiring a second tweet to followers no doubt...

But when Kody was involved in a fender bender on the freeway after a Operative Retox engagement (apparently in his LIV! Official Business Convertible), it was his travel companions who tweeted what a major bummer being in a fender bender can be. But at least Kody showed his concerned side:

If this chat is anything like his chat on dating, YIKES!

And Kody can show his short temper side when tweeting about a tiny little mistake he made. He is, after all, Mr. Perfect and is above any type of reproach, particularly any that shows his not so perfect human side...

Well, to quote Forrest Gump, 'Stupid is as Stupid does'.

On the subject of Forrest Gump, here's Kody doing his best imitation of Sally Field accepting her Oscar...

Well, OK, so not exactly Oscar worthy, but you get my point...


Of course Kody is still out to show how great a dad he is, but next time Kody could you sound a little more enthusiastic? Like you did when talking about guacamole?...Just saying.

Now, I've noticed that Robyn has 13,171 followers on twitter. Meri is close behind with 13,028. Not bad, but  not good when you consider Rosie O'Donnell has 410,217 followers, Andy Cohen (Bravo TV exec) has 667,852 followers and Anderson Cooper (son of Gloria Vanderbilt) has a whopping 2,285,171 followers ! So the Browns are small potatoes. But surely there are enough readers here that can nudge Meri's numbers past Robyn's, right? What d'ya say?

And remember, I scour the news so you don't have to!