Review: Sister Wives - A Tale of Two Episodes S06Ep02: Four Lives of Kody's Wives and S06Ep03: Big Boy Panties

Something is wrong in Kodyland. Janelle's feeling the need to make money to support her family while dealing with the rising testosterone levels in her house and her struggle to lose weight.

Robyn's trying to make My Sister Wife's Closet a viable company, without a clue how to go about it.


Christine wants to work but really doesn't want to work.

And Meri and Kody just sit back doing what they do best, nothing.

Yep, it's just another two episodes in the lives of Kody Brown and his Kodypendents.

Old Uncle Art is gonna be busy now!

S06Ep02: Four Lives of Kody's Wives

Robyn is clueless on how to run a business. The St George Expo was a bust according to Janelle, who has had enough of MSWC because it just isn't generating enough income. Or as she puts it, not enough profit to pay her light bill, let alone her mortgage.

Ouch!!

Now mind you, Robyn is begging for her husband and her sisterwives to "support" her, which translates to Janelle and Christine doing the grunt sales work while Robyn and Meri can sit back on their ample laurels "managing" while popping bonbons in their mouths.

Fair enough, I say. But what I found troubling in this whole fiasco, besides Robyn's lack of business acumen, was Kody's explanation of why he doesn't want to be involved in MSWC. You see, when he sells jewelry to women, because he's on TV the women instantly become enamored of him and want to be his 5th wife.

Or, as Kody explained, "...if I'm making a connection with a woman...or flirting with her, or I'm trying to give attention to what I'm trying to sell a piece of jewelry...they might think that I'm hunting on a 5th wife... which is the farthest thing from the truth!...It's something I'm apprehensive about..."

Whoa there, Kody. You're supposedly  a salesman (at least that was what you said in season 1). Good salesman should be able to sell anything to anybody...so if women are misconstruing your sales pitch, maybe you need to tone it down a notch. Like a real salesman would.

Anyway, Janelle and Christine aren't buying what Robyn's trying to sell, and that is leaving her very very upset. Of course, if Robyn had a clue about business and a good work ethic, she wouldn't need to include her sisterwives in her little MSWC venture. She could  take the profits and run, just like fictional Margene did in Big Love so many years ago. But Robyn obviously doesn't have the same caliber of storywriters like Big Love, so the audience is stuck with this damn storyline for the rest of the season.

Will Robyn be content to just have Meri to boss around?  Will Janelle and Christine rot in sisterwives hell for not supporting a fellow sisterwife?

Stay tuned.

This storyline gets an Uncle Art, for being damn silly.



While Meri and Robyn are focused on MSWC, Janelle and Christine prepare for a meeting with Mona, the real estate lady at Janelle's house. While Kody lounged in his easy chair, upstairs Garrison and Gabriel go at  each other again, almost like the last time when Gabriel bloodied his older brother Garrison's nose.

I'm not going to go into detail, but the most significant thing I noticed was just how ineffective as parents Kody and Janelle were. Kody doesn't want to get involved because he doesn't want to be seen as the bad guy. Janelle blames everything on the testosterone levels of teen boys. She feels the separation of houses makes her to be like a single parent. Which in reality is exactly what she is.

Janelle gets an Uncle Art for using the raging male hormone excuse once again and not demanding that Kody spend more time being a male role model than being a "celebrity" polygamist.

Kody gets 3 Uncle Arts for being Kody.



Next we have Christine and Janelle meeting with Mona the Real Estate Lady.

Unfortunately, Christine is not cut out to be a serious employee out of the home. My opinion is she has been tainted by Kody's total lack of work ethic. She didn't prepare for the meeting, and she absolutely blanched when Mona admits she hasn't had a day off for six weeks.

When Mona tells Christine there may be a delay in all four wives moving into their houses, Christine has a melt down.

Later at home, while talking to Kody (who was lying on his back on her bed with his stinky foot precariously close to her face) she tells him she can't be away from her kids nights and weekends. Of course Kody agrees with her, she needs to stay at home to be with her children. Heaven forbid SHE should expect HIM to help her out with  the fruits of his loins.

Which makes me wonder, wasn't that a bonus of having sisterwives to help take care of your children? And if moving to Las Vegas, as Kody claims, caused his family dynamics to change, he failed to see HE was the one who demanded the move in the first place. And Kody as a polygamist  should realized he would be travelling from house to house. Then he dismissed Christine by accusing her of creating drama that doesn't exist. What a jerk!

Sorry, no sympathy from me. It just makes me wonder, who the hell is writing this crap?

I don't think Uncle Art's picture can get any bigger...

Kody gets another Uncle Art, while Christine gets 3 Uncle Arts for her ignoring her dire financial situation by refusing to acknowledge the fact her children are no longer babies (except for Truely) and that Janelle offered to jobshare with her on the real estate gig. Oh yeah, and for not demanding Kody be an adult and take care of his offspring like a normal father would.

And 2 Uncle Arts to the producers who should have left this crap on the cutting room floor.


A day later (or maybe the same day, it's hard to tell), Janelle met with Robyn to talk to her about MSWC. She's had an epiphany: Kody should not be involved because MSWC should be a woman powered business; Christine should be involved only in the "fun" things and Janelle, hold onto your hats, flip-flopped her position to one that she could use MSWC to market a plus-size line of exercise clothes. She tells Robyn she does want to be a part of MSWC after all.

I've invited Uncle Art to go to Las Vegas in order to throw his stinky old boot at Janelle's head because this is not the end and she WILL flip flop AGAIN on her role in MSWC.

Of course, now that Robyn was all happy happy joy joy over Janelle coming over to MSWC's darkside, it was time for footage of her date with Kody.

I don't know, but it's getting rather tiresome hearing Kody trying to impress yet another monogamist about his being a polygamist. I'd respect Kody more if he just came out and said, "Yo, I'm a polygamist with four wives." But no, it always has to be something like, "I came from Utah to Las Vegas with my WIVES and 17 children. Yes, I have FOUR WIVES!...heh, heh, heh...what do you think about that, huh? I'm a STUD!"

I was so hoping that Kody's rope would break, not high enough to kill him of course, but just high enough we could see his long hair flowing in the wind on the way down.

Josh the repelling guy gets one Hyrum for acting like he was interested in Kody's conversation about being a polygamist.

The last segment was all about Meri. While Janelle was on her way to the gym, Meri was running on the streets of Las Vegas with Mariah.  In her voiceover she explained how proud she was that Mariah wanted to be a plural wife. And that Mariah was just like her when it came to dealing with life's disappointments living with Kody. Is it me or does Meri look like she gained every pound Janelle has lost?

As we watch the Browns yet again, touring those McMansions, we find out that Logan will have his own bedroom in Janelle's house. In the couch interview with the teen girls, even though the consensus was that everyone wanted to be in the homes by Christmas, realist Maddie was again the voice of reason.

She said "Life happens..."

Maddie gets 2 Hyrums, which will qualify Mariah getting dibs on being his 2nd wife.




S06Ep03: Big Boy Panties

After her blowup with Robyn, and her realization that real estate was not her cup of fundamentalist Mormon tea, Christine decided to do the patented Janelle flip flop. She tells everyone at the next MSWC meeting that she wants to devote her time to MSWC now. But when Christine's suggestion of putting the iconic MSWC logo on t-shirts was brutally shot down by Kody as frumpy, Christine got really upset.

Not upset enough to leave Kody's sorry butt, of course, but  just enough to make you wonder what the heck IS going on between those two. Should Dr Phil have an intervention with them? Or how about a stint with Dr Drew on his Couple's show?

Being that Kody has not proven himself to be successful at anything (except making babies), personally I would not listen to a word he says. In Kody's world, overpriced ugly jewelry is ICONIC. T-shirts are FRUMPY MARKETING. Kody doesn't want T-shirts making his ICONIC website FRUMPY. That those t-shirts might bring in more sales dollars than a year of selling that junk jewelry is not the point. And that, my friends, is why Kody is a failure at business.

He doesn't need big boy panties, he needs some brains in that big old noggin of his. But later on, we find out somebody will be making money off of MSWC. Too bad it's not the Browns.

Dr Drew gets a Hyrum for being the hunk Kody wishes he was.



Back at the cul-de-sac, the Kody Krew take yet another tour of the McMansions.

All does not go well. Janelle finds out that instead of carpeting leading down that long, long, hallway to her master suite, the workers laid tile instead. Janelle is not amused, and worries about the noise of footsteps. Lady, I would be more worried about your teens fighting each other. Priorities, Janelle! Tile is the LEAST of your problems.

Meri  immediately put on her mean face. Crapola will hit the fan if there are

ANY mistakes made in her McMansion.  Once inside her soon to be home, Meri breathed a sigh of relief: All was OK, in fact her wet bar was beautiful. I tried to get a good picture, but Meri was moving so fast all I could get was a blur.

Really Meri. You could have had a wet bar built without needing that 5th (or was it a 6th) bedroom. And would it have hurt to put backsplashes on the kitchen and wet bar walls? That house looks like a $450K barn, holy cow!

Mona the real estate lady gets a Hyrum for having to put up with the Browns crapola (even though she made a nice commission off of THAT sale, for sure).

Before seeing Meri, Kody and Mariah take a road trip to her college in Utah, we got a short look at Mykelti, Christine's 16 year old daughter. She is your typical teenage girl. The only problem is she has Christine and Kody as parents. My thoughts? I shuddered in horror when Christine went on and on about her daughter. I felt so sorry for the teen. So Mykelti, if you read this, I'm sending you lots and lots of positive thoughts. And if you want piercings, and tattoos, I say go for it. But just remember, tattoos are kind of permanent and piercings can get infected. That's all.

Okay, back to Meri, Kody and Mariah. Before going to Westminster College, Kody and his legit krew stopped at the old homestead in Lehi. Seems Mariah had thought about living there while attending school in SLC. Which is kind of weird being that would be a LOT of driving. I could never allow my 18 year old to drive that kind of mileage on a freeway each day. I would worry myself sick!

Luckily, Mariah decided against that arrangement. So of course, Meri and Kody decide that maybe it would be better to sell the house. WHAT??? Did Kody and Meri forgot about a certain 3rd party that originally was the sole name on the deed until recent years? Yes, I'm talking about Janelle. RENT that house, you silly fools! You need the income!

At the college, Kody immediately endears himself to the Director of Admissions by asking her if she was "...familiar with the words fundamentalist Mormons." Too bad she didn't come back with "Why of course! I'm not an idiot. Are you familiar with the word DIVERSITY?" But I could see why - she'd not only have to spell it for Kody, she'd have to explain to him what it meant before he could answer. I'm sure that's why we only saw her say the word diversity in her talking head.

Darlene the Admissions Director gets a Hyrum for putting up with Kody and the film crew on her campus. Here's hoping enrollments go up for next semester.

Back in Vegas, Mariah decided she didn't want to go on a tour of the UNLV campus with Aspyn, even though her  "bro" Logan would be the official UNLV tour guide. I don't know, I would have jumped at the opportunity to go on that tour if it was my brother. I would have so much fun giving him a hard time while wearing my Westminster College hoodie. What a missed opportunity!

So instead we get a boring rehash of the tour Logan went on when he graduated the year before, Logan saying how much he's enjoying himself, and how he's not committing one way or the other on going plural in the future. Sounds like Logan is having fun outside the family. I have a feeling he won't be using that bedroom much in mother Janelle's house.

The shows producers get two Uncle Arts for the lack of imagination on this segment.


Last but not least, Kody and his Krew try to sell their wares (MSWC and LIV) at the Christmas Crafts and Gifts expo in Las Vegas. How LIV could be considered a gift or craft I don't know, but if you look real close you'll see his booth was next door to MSWC.

Robyn then introduced MSWC new manufacturer to everyone and presented her with a "big" check. Like I said earlier, it was nice to see someone  making money from MSWC.

Sadly, sales at the Vegas expo were worse than the St George venture. Maybe Robyn's new business pal will give her some much needed pointers. And at the next MSWC meeting, Janelle flip flops AGAIN and tells Robyn she was disengaging from MSWC,  focusing her efforts only on real estate. Seems that profit of about $500 just wasn't worth Janelle's effort if it won't pay her bills.

But if it was any consolation, Christine didn't flip flop, and told Robyn she wanted start supporting MSWC 100%. What a wonderful sisterwife.

And with that, Robyn gets the last Uncle Art for being totally clueless about running a business. Hmmm....I wonder how this one will turn out? Tune in next time for the continuing saga!


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To All the Kind Readers of SWB:

Thank you so much for your patience. I apologize for the delay. Like Maddie says, "Life Happens...", especially when PCs and internet connections conspire against you.

Regards,
Cynical Jinx



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