Review: S04 Ep10 Leaving the Nest

We learned a lot from Sunday's episodes. First, and most important, we learned that the season has been broken into two parts again. So it's not really a season finale we're watching - it's a midseason finale.

Whatever....

Second, that Kody is a pompous ass -- well, alright, we already knew that one.

And third, that Kody is not smart financially and is leading  his merry wives down the road to financial ruin.

So let's get started, shall we?

For what it's worth, Kody does not want Logan to go away to college. He wants Logan to stay in Las Vegas, and go to UNLV instead.  Logan still wants to visit Southern Utah University in Cedar Ridge and remains strong against his father's attempts to bribe him with his own room and an office in Janelle's McMansion (still pending credit approval, of course).

I'm left wondering,  with a household of 16 other children, why  Kody is all hot and bothered about his son leaving home for college? Wouldn't he want Logan to experience college life away from home, to be on his own? I mean, I remember back in the day, where if you were a college freshman you had to be in a dorm that first year, so you could savor college life to the fullest. But Kody just doesn't see it that way. In fact, Kody insults both Utah by calling them a hick community AND Janelle when she expresses concern for Logan's religious direction, preferring that if he does decide on SUU, that he turn to the LDS church for spiritual guidance.

Kody screams at Janelle  "...why are you pushing him to the Mormon church?...he's a plig kid..." Even though Janelle explains that Logan has a better chance of keeping true to his mormon fundamentalist roots by associating with LDS'ers, Kody's not convinced. "...[Mormons] can't even tolerate us !" he hisses to Janelle. And then to Logan, Kody issues his warning shot "I still have a several days I can try to convince you to stay here." Logan, shooting right back simply says " As soon as I'm eighteen, it's my life."

Fun times in the Kody Brown/Janelle parental unit home.

As Logan and his sisters start their drive to Utah, Kody explains  his emotional anxiety over Logan leaving home.  Kody fears he hasn't given Logan a strong religious foundation. Ya think, Kody? Being that Logan basically took over the father figure role starting back in Lehi, Kody not only dropped the ball on Logan's religious direction, but  definitely dropped the ball on being a strong father figure for Janelle's entire parental unit. "I'm concerned whether I've done right by him" Yep you ought to be concerned. You're not looking too good in the Father Dearest department right now.

Back in Utah, we see the Logan and company touring the SUU campus. They even have lunch - wait, is that edamame they're eating? Anyway, Logan starts to weigh the plus and minuses of SUU. Smaller class sizes, away from family distractions and family control. Basically, the same stuff most teens worry about. But strangely, he doesn't mention out of state tuition. Hmmm.....

 By the end of this road trip, SUU is looking good to him.

As the scene switches back to Las Vegas, we see Kody and his wives walking taking a tour through one of the model homes with Mona, the real estate lady. These McMansions are HUGE...Christine hears angels singing, Kody sees where the Thanksgiving table can be placed, and  Meri just adores the tub. While Kody acknowledges that Meri has expensive tastes, there is still one wife who has kept strangely quiet through it all. "This house is ...too much" says Janelle. "Holy Hell, how are we ever going to afford this? My budget cannot afford this house."

Well, at least someone in the Brown clan is thinking rationally.

But leave it to Kody to put his own unique spin on the situation. "I'm looking at this home and I'm going Holy Cow! I've got to start believing that I deserve more than a dirt farm." Dear Lord, the man has gone cuckoo -- he must be drinking his own koolaid now. Could someone please tell me how Kody Brown deserves to have not one McMansions but four? WITHOUT A REAL JOB??? You know, maybe Kody should be on one of those TLC shows like Hoarders, only his affliction is having champagne tastes with rain water income - these jokers can't even afford tap water anymore!

Now I understand why he has put his three wives through bankruptcy in the last 20 years. He's following  the 'psychology' of "...if you can't believe that you are going to be there, then you never will be." Now, I'm not quite sure where "there" is, but I have a feeling it's somewhere close to Bankruptcy Boulevard and Pauper Road. Good luck, ladies...

Next up, Kody and his merry wives take a ride to the jeweler in charge of Robyn's Sister Wife's Closet creations. This is just a sample of their conversation: They are kewl, it's kewl. Wow, that's kewl. How kewl. It's a hit. How about a bro ring? Forgetaboutit!

After the jewelers, Kody and his merry wives meet up at their favorite mexican food restaurant. They decide to put down "a chunk" of money as earnest money on building the four McMansions and of course, Kody wants to tell the kids that they are making an offer on the homes.

They are going to gamble that in 30 days they will have financing for the 4 McMansions. And they WILL succeed, even if they have to forgo vacations. After a particularly grueling session of Kody haranguing the wives to accept his wishes, including the admission that in the Lehi days, they were so poor Christine didn't have enough money to visit her father, and that Meri not only gets flack from Janelle about having a big house with only 1 child, but that her family also thinks she's unreasonable living in a large house basically alone.

Robyn with a booboo on her lip

And it doesn't help when Robyn tries, in her best back-handed compliment way, to bolster Meri's esteem by consistently pointing out how Meri has failed as a wife by not producing a household full of kids to scuff up her impeccable furniture. And excuse me Kody, but isn't it YOUR fault that your family is now spread hither and yon? And Meri, what do you need a WET BAR for? Dear Lord, give me the strength to make it to the end of this episode without catching Robyn's booboo!

Figure 8 Productions must really hate Kody, because he is looking like a total irresponsible ass this episode. He totally lost me when he said to Christine to just save her grocery money if she wants to go on a vacation. And Robyn? JUST SHUT UP!!

Logan and his parents take a short trip to the UNLV campus for a tour. Janelle's impressed by the tour guide - she thought she was cute. Logan was impressed that how pretty the campus was, once you got past the initial buildings. And Kody remarked how close UNLV was to the Vegas strip. It's actually closer to the airport, but I guess that doesn't matter to a salacious minded Kody Brown.

Back to the cul-de-sac property, we have the ceremonial signing of the earnest money checks and contracts. Done deal. The lots are assigned to the wives and Kody tries to justify his presence by saying it was like he was signing a check for those 4 houses. Whatever dude...

The scene of Kody running in what will be their backyards with the sappy music playing in the background just drove home the point of just how large those lots are, and how large those houses will be and will there be enough yard available for a Big Love style backyard. Something tells me Kody will still find an excuse to drive from one house to the other each night.

Later, the family went to Janelle's house for Garrison's birthday. After everyone donned their UNLV t-shirts, they surprised Logan with chants of UNLV! UNLV! and then Kody tried to surprise the kids with the news about the earnest money. The kids were not impressed, even when Kody says he was 99% sure they will get the houses. Poor dears apparently have been there, done that with Kody before on his pipedreams. They were not amused.

Oh yes, Logan made a decision - he's going to UNLV! Logan, if I were you I'd get a dorm room on campus. You won't regret it!