UPDATE 3/25/12
Hi Everybody,
I bumped this article up because it appears someone who claims they are 'The Husband - Charley' posted a comment. So what do you think? I've already given my 2 cents, what are your thoughts?
Let's discuss!!
Cynical
Originally published 3/15/12
Backstage segments not show on the TV show.
Charlie and Jackie after the show:
Backstage with Charlie Jackie and Rebecca:
Rebecca after the show:
Anderson backstage after the polygamist couple interview:
I don't agree with the comment that opening up a relationship means there's trouble in the relationship (I've heard of a few cases in non-religious polyamory and polygamy that have worked out, but as I said, only two or three).
ReplyDeleteI do agree with Anderson that the couple really isn't thinking things through. What about childcare,health insurance, power of attorney, property rights and inheritance? What about divorce? How will the assets be divided?
They just met Rebecca in person-I don't feel you can't make a life altering decision like that-leaping into polygamy based on the fact that it looked cool on a reality tv show, with some woman you just met.
To answer your questions about our arrangements - childcare, this would be the same as any other couple. Jackie has decided to stay at home with our younger children while at the same time being self-employed. This gives her the flexibility to be a great mom and still do something that she is passionate about and is blessed with the ability to do. Health insurance is not provided for my family through my work so it is the same as any other couple that we handle our heath coverage on our own. Power of attorney - We have a power of attorney the same as any other couple has the ability to have. power of attorneys are not mandated by the relationship of one to another. Property rights will be put into a trust and handled that way. Inheritance will be handled through a legal will with beneficiaries specified in the will. Divorce is a horrible thing that honestly none of us ever hope to endure. If for any reason that was to happen there would be a mutual agreement more than likely handled by a mediator just like you would if you were a husband and wife not wanting to spend thousands on attorney fees.
DeleteTo me it seemed like Jackie just kinds sits and listens. She doesnt strike me as someone who would ever have, or voice a real opinion. I feel bad for her.
ReplyDeleteI agree and she looked completely deflated on the first clip. I bet she went home questioning it all.
DeleteWhat could have driven the point home for her would be to have hubby and Rebecca spend a night/day together. I think that would REALLY drive the point home BIG TIME.
Man - If you could only spend a day with my wife you would know that she definitely DOES have an opinion and personally I am glad that she has the dignity to not unleash it on the people on this blog! lol
DeleteI think that the point is being missed all the way around that these women are not forced to live in this lifestyle. Neither is the man. It's a choice for all of them, and to unfairly compare them all to a pervert like Jeffs is just not fair. That's like comparing good, honest American patriots to the whack jobs who blow up buildings and kill people in the name of America and "freedom". I have no dog in the fight, as I'm not a polygamist and never will be. The joking about sex...I get it, but show me a hundred couples who have been married for even a couple of years - and then show me even one who will tell you it's all about sex. That's just not a reasonable argument. Let these people be.
DeleteSomething about their body language makes me think that this was NOT the first time Charlie and Rebecca have met. Did anyone else get that feeling?? When she first ran out on stage and hugged him it just didn't seem like a first time meeting. He also seemed uncomfortable, avoiding her eyes, during the onstage meeting. I think they have met before. Interesting how his voice goes way up when he talks of how gorgeous Rebecca is, then quickly adds but so is his wife. haha...I'm just not buying this situation. I think Charlie has a mistress, saw his wife watching Sister Wives and thought, 'hey...maybe she'll buy this idea...' and Jackie is dumb enough to go along it. It makes no sense to meet someone online, one time on a tv show, and start talking about having a poly relationship with them.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, ok well just for the record this was the first time that we had met. Kind of nerve racking honestly... To be in a situation where you have about 4 hours of sleep in 3 days so that they could get the footage they were looking for and to meet someone that literally you had only talked to a handful of times over 4 days and then meet on tv? I wonder how others would have handled it. As for calling my wife dumb? That is not very nice... not to mention that on the outside looking in through a 30 min tv show, it is impossible to see the 8 year history we have. Please keep your judgments to a minimum. Now as for meeting someone online and one time on tv and start talking about having a poly relationship with them... Sounds alot like we are looking for the same thing and since we met by looking on a site for people that are looking for this type of relationship, seems to me that would be a smart place to look. Just a thought - if someone is looking for a wife as a single guy and they go on eharmony and then meet someone one time, would it be ridiculous for them to date until they decide if marriage is in their future? Just sayin :)
DeleteI've seen these people somewhere. I can't place right now but I know I've seen them before!
ReplyDeleteHa! I KNEW I saw the wife somewhere before! She's a photographer and really is a fan of the show! Looks like she follows the Dargers too.
Deletelink! link! link!
DeleteIf you want to get to know my wife, the best place to look will be on threelilpligs.com and watch as the blog gets populated. Also we would ask for a little respect when it comes to our family and our personal websites and or work websites.. Please have a bit of respect. We did the show as a way to educate people that this does not have to be a cult thing or a religious thing, but definitely did not do the show for any kind of notoriety in our personal lives.
DeleteCharley, personal information - even if its available to the public on the internet - will not be made public on Sister Wives Blog.
DeleteShades of Robyn all over again. Play with that hair girl, there's something familiar...
ReplyDeleteMy thought - he knows her... ahem... quite well already.
I dated Rebecca recently and this is beyond fucked up for me to comprehend.
ReplyDeleteHI my name is Charley and I am surprised at the ignorance of the readers of this blog. If you have any questions for me you are welcome to email me directly at charley at threelilpligs dot com. I look forward to your comments and I would love to answer any of the questions that you might have. It is amazing how scared people are of things that they do not know as well as how people can make comments that are so out of fact. Again like I said - my name is Charley - that is the Charley from this show and I look forward to your correspondence!
ReplyDeleteCouple quick comments though
1 Jackie is not defeated or coerced in any way
2 My wife is SMOKIN HOT and you guys are nuts to think that there is anything lacking in our marriage
3 The show was the first time that I had met Rebecca
4 I do not have a mistress but it would be interesting to find out how many men in regular married relationships do because they have women who are not in touch with their mans feelings and needs (I am guessing some of them are posting on this blog)
5 This relationship is our choice and honestly I cannot believe that the people here would be ignorant enough to rant about something that they have absolutely no education about
6 The site threelilpligs.com will be a blog about our lives in this relationship if you are open minded enough to read it
7 Before you try to get the sliver out of your brother's eye - take the log out of your own - bonus points for anyone who can tell me where that saying comes from
Hope you all the best
Charley
Charley,
DeleteI doubt very seriously the readers of Sister Wives Blog are "scared ...of things that they do not know [,] as well as how people can make comments that are so out of fact". Speaking for myself, I was taught to question and to NOT BE AFRAID TO VOICE MY OPINION.
The people who post their comments on Sister Wives Blog are neither 'ignorant' nor 'scared'. We call it as we see it, and if it doesn't make sense, we question.
I'm surprise that, for someone who apparently wants people to be sympathetic to their situation, you chose to use rather rash and abrasive words to describe the people who have expressed their O P I N I O N of what they saw on the Anderson Show. The fact that you think it necessary to demean and insult the readers and commenters of this blog - frankly - shows us EXACTLY what kind of person you really are.
Wake up and smell the coffee, Charley, for it was YOU and your wife who went on Anderson Cooper's show. YOU made your story PUBLIC. Don't take it out on the commenters on SWB if your 'side' didn't come across as the warm and fuzzy dating story you wanted.
If you want to talk about open minds, perhaps you should continue to read Sister Wives Blog, and L E A R N from the opinions stated here. This is the world you are trying to sell polygamy to, so if you want acceptance, perhaps you should remove that big old chip off your shoulder, and listen to the valuable FEEDBACK we've given you.
Thanks, but you can keep your bonus points.
Cynical Jinx
Why did you delete your 3littlepligs blog?
DeleteSo you're just a horny dude who doesn't give a rat's ass about his wife's feelings and trust me buddy she's only going along with this to make you happy. I LOVE how men are always rationalizing and defending polygamy saying how their spouses have free will blah blah blah BS. You should have just kept your on the side thing, on the side.
DeleteYep, I was wondering the same thing too Bargain Babe...I willingly & open mindedly went to their Threelilpliigs blog & nothing!!! Seems to me he likes to Talk the talk , but can't follow thru & walk the walk!!!....lol
DeleteIsn't it amazing how religious types who constantly tell others not to judge are the first ones to point fingers and judge others? Hey Charley, I triple dog dare you to come back here and answer your critics! Or are you too scared?
DeleteI doubt very seriously the readers of Sister Wives Blog are "scared ...of things that they do not know [,] as well as how people can make comments that are so out of fact". Speaking for myself, I was taught to question and to NOT BE AFRAID TO VOICE MY OPINION.
DeleteI have absolutely no problem with people voicing their opinion in any way. The thing that I do have a problem with is when people decide that because this lifestyle is not for them that they must trash the people that agree with it. The tone that I used in my original post may have been a little harsh and for that all I can say is that I was responding with the harsh tone that others were criticizing our lifestyle choice with.
The people who post their comments on Sister Wives Blog are neither 'ignorant' nor 'scared'. We call it as we see it, and if it doesn't make sense, we question.
I look forward to questions and that is why I included my email address although I have not received any emails yet....
I'm surprise that, for someone who apparently wants people to be sympathetic to their situation, you chose to use rather rash and abrasive words to describe the people who have expressed their O P I N I O N of what they saw on the Anderson Show. The fact that you think it necessary to demean and insult the readers and commenters of this blog - frankly - shows us EXACTLY what kind of person you really are.
Unfortunately, it seems to me that no one wants to know who we are or why we have chosen this, but rather pass judgments on us for our choice. As I stated above, my reaction may not have been stellar but when people compare Rebbecca to a "high class hooker"? What do the commenters on this blog expect?
Wake up and smell the coffee, Charley, for it was YOU and your wife who went on Anderson Cooper's show. YOU made your story PUBLIC. Don't take it out on the commenters on SWB if your 'side' didn't come across as the warm and fuzzy dating story you wanted.
DeleteWe did decide to go on the show, but it was not for 15 minutes of fame. This was something that we were sought out for and were asked if we would like to share our side of the story. No we do not think that everyone will agree with it, but I do have to say in today's society with the about of different lifestyles that are readily accepted, we were a bit surprised at the judgments that were passed on our relationship.
If you want to talk about open minds, perhaps you should continue to read Sister Wives Blog, and L E A R N from the opinions stated here. This is the world you are trying to sell polygamy to, so if you want acceptance, perhaps you should remove that big old chip off your shoulder, and listen to the valuable FEEDBACK we've given you.
I had read ALL of the comments on this bog prior to my response. I did not see anyone on here that thought that this might be even a possibility that could work for anyone in society. There are a lot of questions that surround this lifestyle and that was the reason for going on the show. To answer those questions. When it comes to feedback, I will welcome feedback from people that are interested in bringing up valid points and are willing to hear the other side of the argument.
when there are comments like this "So you're just a horny dude who doesn't give a rat's ass about his wife's feelings and trust me buddy she's only going along with this to make you happy. I LOVE how men are always rationalizing and defending polygamy saying how their spouses have free will blah blah blah BS. You should have just kept your on the side thing, on the side." what is it exactly that a person is even supposed to take from that other than the individual that wrote that is violently opposed to the idea and that is all there is to it.
Is the purpose of this blog simply to bash on anyone that is in this lifestyle or do your readers actually want to learn something that they do not know?
As for the threelilpligs.com - this was a site that we set up 2 days ago to talk about this journey we are taking. There will be content on this blog very soon. When it comes to follow thru - well that is why I am responding to this tonight.
These are the answers I have for my critics although there were not too many questions posed - more judgments and criticisms than anything...
It is inexcusable to defend bad behavior with other bad behavior. Charley thinks a man having an affair is wrong, but uses it to defend polygamy. Hello???
ReplyDeleteThen he states that the reason for the affairs is because the women are not in touch with the man's feelings and needs. Well, boo hoo, Charley.
I could ask what the reason for polygamy is but frankly, I don't give a damn.
Charley did you even read some of the comments? SheilaAnn had a lot of interesting questions. Why didn't you take the time to answer them? Is it because you are operating at a 12 year old's maturity level and don't understand adult responsibility yet?
ReplyDeleteMaybe instead of spending time visiting internet plyg-dating services and trolling forums like this one with your inflammatory remarks, you should spend more time with your SMOKIN HOT wife and maybe give those bonus points to her. She deserves them!
I did read all of the comments and am replying to them as I am this one. I did not take the time to answer them last night if you must know because I did not run across this blog until late last night. Now as for the 12 year old maturity level? Are you serious? Lol... Ok back to reality, I do spend plenty of time with my smokin hot wife and that is one of the reasons why we have a wonderful marriage. I guess there you go, I have answered all of your questions.
DeleteI hope Rebecca and Jackie read Charley's post. Especially item number 4. Maybe they will see the coercive tactics in play there when contrasted with the real critical thinking going on in all the other posts here.
ReplyDeleteFunny you should say that, because they both proof read it before I posted it :)
DeleteCharley,
ReplyDeleteHaving watched your performance and having read your response....question is...
So, what effect were you hoping for?
Kudos and high-fives for a guy who is bored with himself and his sex-life and obviously just wants a side-bit without it looking like what it so obviously is?
Or was it simply to generate critical responses to insure an even bigger arena for your story to be heard and discussed?
It is quite obvious that you are having a good time with this new-found attention. You do want more than just some *extra action* in the bedroom.....you also want to be "a name" out there, don't you?
*** Sorry, Charley.....you just are not that interesting or special.***
honestly dont know what effect we were looking for. In fact I do not think we were looking for an effect at all. As to this being just a bit on the side, I would challenge all of you that read this to find out from people in a plural what the benefits are for the women and how much more responsibility it is for the man. This is not something that has anything to do with getting some on the side. If it was - it would be WAY less expensive and WAY easier to have a mistress. You could even hire someone fore pennies on the dollar. This is about having more family. I challenge you all to think about how much more complicated a man's life is with more than one wife. Most men I know say having one is hard enough and there is no way they would want two!
DeleteOh and I almost forgot - not looking for fame or a show or any of that. As for me being interesting well your opinion is your and you are entitled...
Delete"I would challenge all of you that read this to find out from people in a plural what the benefits are for the women and how much more responsibility it is for the man."
DeleteUhhh....you DO realize this is a Blog about plygs/plurals, right?
That the subject of "benefits vs liabilities" for women in such relationships is *well covered and observed* here.
So, no need for your challenge....everyone here already has the T-shirt.
Besides, the Browns and now the Dargers have already beat you to it, plus Google is a treasure trove of info.
All data, both written and filmed suggest there definitely is a dark side to this topic *for the women.*
Read up, Charley! There's a challenge * for you.*
"I challenge you all to think about how much more complicated a man's life is with more than one wife. Most men I know say having one is hard enough and there is no way they would want two!
And adding that last sentence was to accomplish...what???
You need an editor, Charley..seriously!
All you prove here is that you are someone who wants to "control"...
To be in charge....to complain and boast in the same breath.
...it would be WAY less expensive and WAY easier to have a mistress
DeleteSorry Charley, but a mistress is not a booty call. She can be a high maintenance, high cost luxury item that few men can afford; financially and psychologically. To say a mistress is less expensive and easier to have than a wife demeans women in general and your wife in particular.
...You could even hire someone fore pennies on the dollar
I suppose one could, but why take the chance? Prostitution is illegal for a reason. And in the legal bordellos of Nevada, you definitely will be spending more than pennies on the dollar.
Your naivete is showing...
Nope.
DeleteI call shenanigans on you, Charley, for claiming that the three of you were not looking for attention and a response to your appearance on "Anderson". That is just patent nonsense and as a reasonably intelligent individual, I personally take exception to being lied to, by you, about that.
Own your truth.
After all, did not one of you say during your appearance, that "Sister Wives" was one of your inspirations for this nonsensical scheme? I mean, my goodness, if that show is not the model of a three-ring, attention-whoring, TLC-sponsored, circus, then I am the reincarnation of Buffalo Bill.
You are not fooling anyone.
If you are looking to have more than one woman in your life, then have at it; but, do not try to justify it by parroting a bunch of cockamamie logic that is continually peddled by the interested parties (I.e. men), who insist on perpetuating an anti-progressive and *thank Zeus* ILLEGAL enterprise.
Sorry, CJ, I think our boy's insincerity is showing.
I have a question for Charley---
ReplyDeleteBecause I'm not familiar with how shows work in this area, did Anderson Cooper's show contact you and invite you to be on (and if so, how did they find out about you?) or did you contact them and offer to be on?
I do understand that not everyone in polygamy has a religious basis for it. Which is slightly better in my eyes...I'm glad your wife isn't being taught that the ONLY way she can EVER get into heaven is if you and her take on other wives (that is what the mormon/lds plygs teach).
But it still seems demeaning to women in general...one woman is not enough for you. Seems selfish and greedy and when men think about sex every, what, 7 seconds? It would be impossible for polygamy to NOT be largely about sex.
Actually, the Mormon belief is that there are three different levels of heaven. The higher level can only be obtained by following all the religious teachings (including plural marriage). Kind of like how Catholicism teaches there are different levels of hell. Warren Jeffs used to tell the girls in the FLDS that plural marriage was required to get into heaven. But obviously he was crazy. Members of the Apostolic United Brethren, Centenial Park, Independents, etc don't teach their kids that it's is a requirement to enter heaven.
DeleteHi Bailey--Not trying to nitpick, but Catholics don't believe in different levels of hell. That was Dante in his work The Divine Comedy, specifically the part called The Inferno. Not Catholic doctrine.
DeleteI am glad Cynical Jinx covered the other issue that I forgot.
ReplyDeleteYes, really...do you think that your discourse on the other options you listed for getting an extra sex partner, are even remotely validating to your point?
Naive (or covert) on all counts....because all you are saying is that you would rather have a live-in then openly commit adultery (even though you still will be) and/or also not have to pay for it.
And while we are on the subject of finances....
Easy to see that it would be an asset to have a live-in's income to add to the kitty. Kody Brown clearly showed the world that particular benefit of having multiple wives.
Also...
Bargain Babe's question about what was Anderson's show contact process is intriguing too.
Who contacted whom....and how/ why??
Yawn ... This mastiff is growing bored of this topic. In the good old days, Charley and crew would be on Geraldo ... Not anderson Cooper. And the dargers might be in the Enquirer ... Once. The Browns are interesting because they have the right mix of chemistry, personalities, and drama to make for an intriguing soap opera. What will they do next?! You just want to know and read all about it here. Otherwise, could the dargers and Charley please go away? I don't really care what they do as long as they don't abuse the welfare system or have my daughter over for playdates.
ReplyDeleteYep, boring and done !!
ReplyDeleteThis guy is a wannabe who was/is woefully late to the party.
Charley,
ReplyDeleteCan you wife select a extra husband to add to the "family" as well? If not, then why not?
Also how long did it take your wife to come around to this way of thinking?
I concur: Boring & pretty much over it, ESP when only 1/2.truths of their life & marriage are being presented! Besides, IMO, Charley's responses to SWB are evasive & condescending!!
ReplyDeleteYes folks, I also agree that Charley, when given the opportunity to discuss why he wants polygamy for his family, has failed in the attempt.
ReplyDeleteSorry Charley, but what I see from you is basically a regurgitation of pro-polygamy you found in your 'research'. The comments on SWB to you were brutal, but did you rise to the occasion and defend your choice of lifestyle?
No, you did not.
If you had simply spoke to the reasons why you see polygamy as a viable lifestyle for your family. Given us some examples to show how you and your wife really thought this polygamy thing out, how and why polygamy spoke to you so strongly that you are willing to make a lifestyle change and embrace it.
But, you did not.
Instead, you stood your ground, jutted out your manly jaw and asked "Is the purpose of this blog simply to bash on anyone that is in this lifestyle or do your readers actually want to learn something that they do not know?"
Funny you should ask. The people who comment on SWB DO want to know. We want to know why a man, with a lovely wife and children would suddenly decide to take another wife? Was it a whim? Was it for sex? Was it a sign from heaven above? WHY??? And what was your answer Charley? You said "... I do have to say in today's society with the ... different lifestyles that are readily accepted, we were a bit surprised at the judgments that were passed on our relationship." So you are saying the whole reason you are willing to put your wife and children into the polygamy world is because you feel society is already corrupted with men spreading their seed with as many women (baby mammas) as they can, so why can't you and you can legitimize it by saying you're doing it because you believe in the institution of family.
Did I get it right, Charley?
And if I got it wrong, why couldn't you just state in simple words why you chose polygamy. Just saying "we chose this lifestyle" simply doesn't explain why you chose it. You have never supported your position - and you wonder why people question you, or as you put it, 'judge' you. In my college days, I had a professor who explained to us "You may think if you say it enough times, people will start to believe you. But if you don't support your thesis statement, your term paper is crap. I don't give passing scores to crap." Blunt, but to the point.
SWB doesn't give passing scores to crap. You can take your ball and run home to your plig blog now.
Cynical Jinx,
ReplyDeleteExcellent summation !!!
Charley came to court all pumped up and then ran out the back door.
Such is life !!!
But do hope his lovely wife thinks long and hard at how these choices will impact her and her children's life.
Their oldest child is, what, 12? This means that they have grown up knowing only one mother and seeing a supposedly stable relationship. A child will not understand why suddenly there is a new mommy, especially since the parents can't seem to articulate their rationale to a bunch of adults. The line of "We want there to be even more love in our relationship!" would tell me, as a child, that somehow I AM NOT GIVING ENOUGH LOVE. Additionally, the children are going to see their mother going through jealousy issues - any assumption that there won't be jealousy issues is ridiculous, and in fact that's one of the tenets of fundamentalist polygamy - that women must struggle through their jealousies to become closer to God. So their daughter, who is old enough to realize that something is different and to remember a time when there wasn't another mommy bossing her around, will see her mother deal with jealousy and think that's okay and that it's normal in a stable relationship to be jealous of another woman. She will see her mother being >supplemented< by someone who, let's face it, is younger and skinnier than her mother (and who probably looks different from herself). If they think that won't cause issues they're dilusional. I mean, at least the Browns did that right - they waited to have all the wives before starting to have kids.
ReplyDeleteI knew a polyamorous couple who started the lifestyle when their kids were old enough to notice a change, and those kids are MESSED UP and have extremely negative views of marriage and relationships in general. The thought is what the heck is marriage if we're just going to keep bringing more and more people into it.
Additionally, I think that it's dilusional to think that you're going to be best friends with your sisterwife. Please. That's a bit like saying you're going to get pregnant to make your marriage work.
I'm just wondering how you justify this to your kids...ummmm daddy can't spend as much time with you because he's too busy "getting to know" Rebecca who's also going to be your mommy...grow up!
ReplyDeletethe threelittlepligs site is up.
ReplyDeletethey are nuts, Jackie's post about us here at SWB is particularly.....um...special.