Meri grew up in the polygamist lifestyle and shares what it was like for her as a kid.
A blast from the past. I told you we'd be reviewing clips until the big day our show returns!
Since Marc Barber has been on our blog, maybe he'll have something to add to this discussion - hope he comes back around for this. This is short, but we can discuss what all she talked about on the show, too. Thoughts? Memories?
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(Clip Courtesy of TLC)
I think she is not telling everything about her past life.
ReplyDeleteOk You have stopped me from commenting here. I do not understand but I will leave.
ReplyDeletePatricia,
ReplyDeleteI don't understand. Are you having difficulty with the commenting function? I also have difficulties sometimes and just keep trying (I think it is MS Explorer or Blogger). Please persevere and don't stop commenting; it is technology causing the problems and not the people here.
I like to read your comments because you "tell it like it is" from your point of view.
Many of the polygamy apologists say that monogamists cheat on their spouses and that it is so common that we as monogamists should just stop being so naive and condescending as to say that monogamy is better. But the point is that when a wife or husband cheats it generally does not take away from the time spent with the family. Often the husband or wife does not even know because the cheating spouse is always there when needed. And the children almost never know! (Look at Arnold Swartzenegger.) And that is a good thing. It preserves the dignity of the family relationship and helps the wife and children to know they are very important despite the failings of the cheater. However, here we have Meri talking openly about how her father spent time away from the family "courting" other wives. And then he brings the "wives" home to the family. Is it any wonder that Meri thought that the best that she could do was to become the first wife in a plural marriage?
ReplyDeleteAnonymous and Patricia, I think you both have hit the nail on the head. It bothered Meri then, probably still bothers her and if she claims otherwise, she is in denial.
ReplyDeleteCheating spouses are not always there when needed, not physically and certainly not emotionally. The other spouse usually knows, painfully so. The children know, perhaps not directly, but they know something is not right. There is very little dignity, just sham appearances of it, in the family relationship. Been there. done that, got the big attorney bills to show for it. It is not a good thing.
ReplyDeleteI think that in their pure states, monogamy and polygamy should work. If the one man/one woman group stayed monogamous and had respect for each other, it's a very viable partnership. Likewise, if a polygamist was attentive and loving to all of his/her spouses, treating all equally, no favorites, and caring for all the children and the large family's needs, very workable situation. It's when the relationships involve HUMANS with their flaws and insecurities that the problems occur. If we were all just perfect...
ReplyDeleteHow can we get a hold of Patricia? I went to her website, but it's a new one, and signed in? It must of been something with her settings, I don't want her to think we kept her out!!! We Esp need her for the next show!
ReplyDeleteIt say very clearly in Troy's post that even today, Polig women can not speak as they wish. I'd like to get a hold of Meri and talk to her, wouldn't you?
ReplyDeleteI went on Patricia's blog and left her a note, i hope you do, too.
ReplyDeleteMeri has said she would leave if it weren't for Mariah. And Kody sat there and SAID NOTHING. Now, that just made it 10 times worse, don't you think?
Have you ever noticed that Kody holds on to Meri a lot more than the others?
ReplyDeleteI think she's realizing how weird it all is. you get a new "mom"? Why do they have to be called Moms? That is weird. Meri is hiding her emotions. Tampered down, from all the messiness.
I don't think she liked it, do you?
If you turn off the volume and just watch Meri's facial expressions and arm/hand movements you will observe cues of stress and discomfort that she cannot hide.
ReplyDeleteYour absolutely right! She always talked of a happy childhood, but it doesn't look it. i was hoping her brother would get back on here and tell us about his.
ReplyDeleteHow sad, trying to put on that HAPPY FACE
ReplyDeleteI remember the discussion she and Kody had on their anniversary trip, her trying to explain her feelings about a new wife (Robyn) coming into the family. Kody seemed clueless until she asked how he would feel if she had a new husband.
ReplyDeleteDear Boo,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for what you went through. I did not mean to imply that cheating is OK and I am sorry if I sounded insensitve. Cheating is terrible and very painful, and I would say that many women who are sensitive (like you) know that their spouses are cheating. What I was trying to say is that in polygamy the cheating is out in the open and justified on religious grounds which leads to a situation that feeds on lust and betrayal. Kody does not see that he is doing anything wrong and he feels no obligation to try to understand the feelings of Meri. I know that there are couples who survive infidelity because the cheating spouse acknowledges how much pain he or she has caused. Meri has no recourse but to accept the betrayal and pretend it doesn't hurt. Kody will never understand her pain and he will never feel any guilt over how he has hurt her.
Rayne,
ReplyDeleteI remember that scene and being shocked he'd never reversed it to thing about how they felt.
Remember FOF said women early on learned to put on the HAPPY FACE for their society. Ijust keep thinking that.
ReplyDeleteI think poor Meri feels she will go to hell if she leaves, and possible lose her daughter. I feel so bad for her.
ReplyDeleteLike the movie taught us, The Veil of Polygamy, they learn to have a "plastic face" and cover up emotions.
ReplyDeleteI do not agree w/sister wives. However, at lest they are out front w/it. Why should they be arrested because they have an open marriage. But it is ok for men to have affairs and not be arrested and take the chance of bringing home disease to their spouse. Ladies in my opinion Meri is a better woman than most. She should be happy he out of her hair and bed as much as possilbe
ReplyDeleteI think there's so much more to it, like what they teach their children, that is the scary part. AND, if you can get arrested for Jaywalking, they should since it's a crime. there are reasons it is a crime.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Anony she's one of the best of the bunch, and Boo- I am sorry you had to go through that! I know it's terrible.