But they seem like such honest people, Part 1

Hypocrisy:

• the practice of professing standards, beliefs, feelings, virtues, etc, contrary to one's real character or actual behavior, esp. the pretence of virtue and piety; falseness

(Definition from Dictionary.com and the Free On-line Dictionary)

A number of blog commenters and several professional journalists have accused Brown family members of being hypocrites.  Are they?  What is a hypocrite? 

 

To answer these questions I turned to the experts.  Imagine my surprise when I learned that the religion of Islam is very concerned about the subject of hypocrisy and Muslim scholars have well-defined definitions of hypocrites.  Isn’t it ironic that religious figures would have something relevant to say about a family that is on TV because of its religion and won’t say that it’s because of their religion or says confusing things about their religion.

My Arabic reading skills are a bit rusty, which is why this post has taken so long to complete (and if you believe that, I have some oceanfront property in Arizona to sell you).  As I understand it, Islam says that God classifies hypocrisy into 2 categories:  hypocrisy of belief and hypocrisy of action. 

Hypocrites who engage in hypocrisy of belief:

1.  are “unenergetic” in performing the commandments and duties of their religion;

2.  often don’t carry out commandments and duties that they don’t want to do;

3.  carry out certain commandments and duties to show off and to be seen; and

4.  rarely mention or remember God.

Do we even know what their religious beliefs, commandments and duties are other than plural marriage?  I don’t, not for sure.  It seems odd that we don’t see them pray much, or say grace before a meal, etc.  Yes, these things can be edited out, but many times it looks on TV like those things just aren’t frequently done except in Christine’s home.  I have always thought that the wives’ unique dress sense accommodated their “Garments”, although I wonder about Robyn.  Haven’t we seen her wear sleeves that are too short to accommodate the Garments?  Perhaps I am misinformed about the sleeve length of the Garments.  It is a personal choice, I know, but still I wonder.  After all, she is the wife who said they were “killing themselves to live this faith.”  Regarding Victoria’s Secret, I won’t go there.  Oh Lord, I just thought about it and now I need brain bleach.

Do the Browns carry out commandments and duties that they don’t want to do?  We have seen what Kody and the wives told the teens about premarital sex, and it certainly wasn’t that premarital sex is wrong.  Way to out Robyn for “living this faith” on that issue Madison [to be fair – are we proud of everything we did as teenagers?  I personally refuse to answer this question].  And everyone has an opinion about Kissing-gate.  Again, Christine refused to cross the line that she thought existed on this issue. 

The teens are certainly forced to follow a dress code that they may not want to adopt (modest tops and NO BIKINIS as per Janelle).  I infer from Janelle’s and Meri’s actions that the teens will burst into flames if not dressed appropriately; I observed that this applies only to the girls.  The boys can dress in shorts with severely baggy rear-ends and no shirts without fear of spontaneous combustion.  What a relief considering the Vegas heat.  What a double standard – but more about that when we discuss hypocrisy of action in part 2.    

It seems odd that the Browns might carry out certain commandments or duties primarily to show off and to be seen when they appear reluctant to do other religious things.  However, they are pretty proud of their shiny celestial marriages and show them off every chance they get, and have been doing so for years and years.  Yes, Christine, I am talking about you.  They even sought out a TV show and a high profile court case to publicize their New and Everlasting Covenant of Celestial Marriage.  As we saw on a recent episode, they are also not shy about televising a home church service, except for Mykelti, who felt it was inappropriate.  Smart thinking girl!  As so many others have said, how can such I-have-no-adjective-for-them adults raise such smart kids?

Finally, do the Browns frequently mention or remember God in their daily lives?  I stated above that things can be edited out by TLC, but that many times it looks like it just isn’t happening, unless it is to point out that Presbyterians are sharks, presumably of the independent fundamentalist Mormon-eating variety.  The kids went to church school for several years; religion would have been a part of their daily lives for a number of years.  If you look at their bankruptcy filings you will also know that they “tithe”.  Contrarily, while the TLC producers may control what religious material is seen on Sister Wives, Brown family members could, if they wanted to, say something about their faith in the numerous interviews they have given, or in their gazillion Tweets, or on their multiple Facebook accounts. 

So I am very confused.  It looks like the Browns are religious and also that they are not religious.  Could they be trying to hide how religious they are? 

This brings me to the second type of hypocrisy ...hypocrisy of action, which I will discuss in Part 2.

I’d like to know what examples of hypocrisy of belief you have seen with the Brown family ... or if you disagree with me.  Am I just a suspicious old biddy who wants to polygraph everyone before I’ll believe them?  Well, yes, but that’s because I like the comfy chair.


Written By Terrasola!

But they seem like such honest people, Part 2

When we left off, we were discussing the Brown family and hypocrisy.   The religion of Islam and Islamic scholars say that God categorizes hypocrisy into 2 groups, hypocrisy of belief and hypocrisy of action.  We discussed hypocrisy of belief in Part 1.

The second type of hypocrisy, according to Islam, is hypocrisy of action.

The hypocrite's crime is that he bears false witness against himself. Hannah Arendt, On Revolution, 1963

Hypocrisy of action includes:

a.  lying,   

b.  breaking promises made,

c.   betraying trust, ,and

d. being imprudent and insulting during disagreements.

Lying.  Yes, I know that the majority of us tell “little white lies” to preserve the feelings of family and friends. Do you really want to tell your colleague that she dresses like a color-blind bag lady who got dressed in the dark this morning?  No, I am not talking about those kind of “fibs”, as my mother called them. I am talking about when parents tell their children that they can choose their religion and then, when the children try to exercise that choice the parents do an about-face and say that the kids can make the choice “when their frontal lobes are fully developed.” Or when parents tell their children that they can express their opinions calmly and respectfully and, again, when the children attempt to do just that, the parents have a hissy fit pout and shut down the discussion with autocratic pronouncements – or do the same thing to their spouses. I don’t know for sure what “fibs” the authorities may or may not have been told during bankruptcy or food stamp applications, but I have my personal opinions.

Interestingly, these Islamic scholars say that lying is ALWAYS part of hypocrisy because hypocrites cheat people with words to get what they want, caring only for their own self-interest and lacking an appropriate sense of shame for the things that they have done wrong (they have done wrong and don’t care).  Hmmmmm.

One of the things I find interesting is that the wives say they are happy and the marriages are good, when their body language, tone of voice and facial expressions say something else.  If you turn the volume off when they are speaking they look sad, anxious and sometimes even frightened.  Some people might consider this a form of lying and hypocrisy.

Any of you who have read Dr. Zhivago will remember that Yurii said, “Your health is bound to be affected if, day after day, you say the opposite of what you feel, if you grovel before what you dislike... Our nervous system isn't just fiction, it's part of our physical body, and it can't be forever violated with impunity."

Some of the examples of lying above also count as breaking promises made.  When you promise your teenager (or spouse) that you will treat them as a person, and then turn around and treat them as chattel, that smacks of hypocrisy.  And didn't Robyn say that she wanted to fit in? Didn't she sort of promise to do that?  I don't really see that playing out other than her promise to create more children.

I have seen numerous examples of Kody talking about one wife to another wife about a private matter and I thought I saw Robyn doing the same thing a couple of times (monkey see, monkey do).  To me that is betraying trust. I think that the only way plural marriage can work is when each separate marriage relationship is kept private.  Apparently Kody disagrees with me.  I also feel that both Kody and Janelle have betrayed Hunter’s trust by allowing TLC to film some of his more vulnerable moments.  Again, that is just me.  I may not have 17 kids, but I do have a child with a diagnosed mental illness and I feel this will come back to bite them in the @$$ (although Hunter will probably make a mint from his tell-all book).

The episodes at the end of last season and this season have several examples of Kody behaving badly during disagreements.  He tends to shut off those who disagree with him and behave autocratically and imprudently during disagreements.  I don't know how to explain Robyn's behavior during disagreements other than "yikes".

So, in one way or another, the Brown adults don’t fare very well under this examination.    But I’d like to know what you think.

  
Written By Terrasola!