Friday, October 7, 2011

Sister Wives: I Don't Know What I Want Anymore

The wives express their concerns with how Christine and Kody's conflicts are affecting the rest of the family.





Juggling four wives is no easy feat and polygamist  Kody Brown is learning that life can get pretty difficult when his wives are envious of each other.
“Jealousy creeps in when one wife says in her mind ‘he loves her more than me,’” Kody says in the exclusive sneak peek of the upcoming episode of Sister Wives obtained by
Since moving to Nevada the plural marriage family is split up with each wife and her children in their own house and Kody finds balancing all of their feelings difficult.

“The problem is they’re going to wonder sometimes whether or not you love somebody more than them so that’s a huge burden because you have to prove yourself so it makes it a little bit more of a challenge.”
Wife #2 Janelle admits that she sometimes becomes jealous of her fellow wives.

“I allow my mind to play tricks on me when Kody’s away as to what kind of really great fun things he’s doing with the rest of the family that I’m being left out of.”
However, she stresses that jealous has no place in their lives.

“You just can’t compare because that is death. You cannot compare yourself or your situation or your relationship with any of your sister wives because when you compare you will never ever be happy.”
In a surprise revelation, fourth wife Robyn is going to reveal the sex of the new baby on Sisters Wives when it airs Sunday at 9 p.m. on TLC.

(Video courtesy of TLC; part of story courtesy of Radaronline)

47 comments:

  1. RUN Christine RUN!

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  2. Why would anyone want to stay in relationships that cause so much emotional pain? Any monogymous relationship with that much emotional pain is considered an abusie one.

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  3. Jealousy Jealousy Jealousy

    But, she could DECIDE to be happy! YEAH! Sounds like fun. When you learn to do THAT, let us all know!

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  4. To the lady I read the post a few down that is a polygamist - non religious.
    HOW do you deal with Jealousy?

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  5. I bet Kody just LOVES this!
    It's sad that all this show has to offer us is constant problems. If this is the happy side of AUB polygamy, I'd hate to see the unhappy ones.
    Do Meri even speak anymore? She seems so checked out.

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  6. Can you imagine woorying about being your best whenever you were around your husband?
    If it's all about the wife that night, how much time do the kids get?
    Not much, I suspect.

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  7. I see so much emotional confusion and emotional dishonesty on both a conscious and subconscious level in this family. It is saddening, maddening, disheartening and disillusioning. One thing it is not, is any kind of endorsement for a polygamist way of life.

    I truly believe that when Christine said she only ever wanted to be a 3rd wife she meant that she wanted to be a LAST wife, but I don't know if she was (or even is) consciously aware of this. In my opinion this is the true reason is having such a difficult time adjusting to Robyn's arrival in the family, regardless of Robyn's less-than-stellar personality.

    Many watchers of the show have picked up on Janelle's and Kody's statement that they are "best friends" being code for a lack of romantic connection in their relationship. In my opinion this is another form of emotional dishonesty, whether conscious or subconscious.

    Is there anyone on this board who does not know that Meri is being emotionally dishonest with herself concerning how she feels about this polygamous situation? Her body language, vocal tone, and facial gestures are dead give-aways that she is unhappy.

    I won't even comment on Kody because my mother told me that if you can't say anything nice, say nothing.

    The parents also seem to be emotionally dishonest with their kids, dangling the carrot of free choice, yet snatching it away when the teens dare to actually exercise such choice.

    It seems to me that only the teens consciously know that they want, while the adults sub-consciously (in a Freudian slip I just typed "SOB-consciously") know their desires, but dare not express them outwardly. Yet those preferences and desires continue to slip through the ever widening cracks in the carefully crafted facade of The Brown Family.

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  8. Bada Bing,
    I would be lying if I said I never felt pangs of jealousy. However, long ago, before I even met my husband, I determined jealousy was a manifestation of my own insecurities, and the same is true today. Not insecurities in my relationship with my husband, just massive insecurities within me that occasionally make me view myself in a negative light (compliments of some things that occurred long before I met my husband or became a polygamist). This is where my husband comes in. He is extremely good at self esteem building, but that is a topic for another day.

    Not long after M and I began dating, M said something and my response was “I’m going to stomp my foot and pout”. It was a joke and I am not even sure what he said that garnered that response but it worked at the time. The stomping the foot as stuck, and now if something is wrong or I want something I often say “I’m going to stomp my foot”. This has become M’s queue there is something wrong and we need to discuss it. Cheesy yes, but it works.

    I can give you another example of my first bout of jealousy in my marriage. We had been together a little over a year, and something happened out of the norm for our family and I was angry. To be honest I was beyond angry, I was pissed, upset, hurt and a host of other emotions. The problem was I had no idea why. I only knew I was mad at M (my husband).

    He came home and was not greeted with my usual, hug and kiss and Hi honey. Instead I was glaring at him from the couch. He of course wanted to know what was wrong. I was so angry all I could say was “I’m mad at you!”

    This led to him asking why. Not in an equally angry tone but more of an utter confusion as to what had happened to make me so upset. Again I didn’t know why I was angry and upset but I was and reiterated that to him with “I don’t know but I am mad” (wow writing that now, sounds like a stubborn child, laughs, but at the time it was all I could come up with).

    Surprisingly, my mood and no reason for it didn’t upset M. He calmly came over kissed me and said when I figured out why he was in the dog house to tell him so we could work it out. Little did I know it would take me three days to figure it out, of which he was extremely patient and gave me my space to figure it out.

    Once I did, I determined I was not really angry at him but angry at the circumstances that led to me being upset. I explained the entire basis for my anger and hurt to him, not sure what to expect in response. It should also be noted I have never raised my voice to him nor him to me, so it was a calm conversation.

    At the end, he made the decision in his own mind, he understood why I was upset, and now we had to come up with ways to ensure it never occurred again because he didn’t really like me mad at him (Laughs).

    I was not jealous of his relationship with C, I was jealous of something she did with him that I was not a part of. Strange as that is, because we always do things or share experiences with M, which does not include the other wife. So, to this day not sure why that particular incident upset me so much other than it was out of the norm, but it did.

    I had to come to a place inside myself, in which I could either accept they would have special moments, just as he and I do, and if I could not handle and accept that, I would have to rethink my relationship and marriage. In doing that I found that I could handle my moments of insecurity and jealousy, but I could not fathom a life without M in it. So, it has become a constant work in progress.

    Yes I still have my moments, and not all of those moments turn into me stomping my foot. Some of them I can resolve on my own, others involve discussing with M, but in the end I know he loves me and I love him. I am as important to him as C. It is odd I am not jealous of C, but do become jealous over situations. Again, it’s a work in progress.
    Leah

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  9. Terasola
    I am not sure Meri is being dishonest, or if she is someone who simply does not wear her heart on her sleeve. I do believe there are other thing Meri is not entirely honest about (such as reality tv), but I do not believe it’s their lifestyle.

    I simply think Meri is the type to not be comfortable discussing her true feelings in front of cameras on the couch. I think we see the most emotion from Meri in everyday life that is caught on camera.

    For example, when Robin informed Meri of the pregnancy, the look that flashed in her eyes was real. It did bring up the fact she has been unable to have more children, and that hurt but also the hurt that others, especially Kody and the other wives, believed because of that she needed to be treated with kid gloves.

    That is just my opinion and may not be correct, but to me it just seems Meri keeps her emotions close to the vest while in front of the cameras.

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  10. Anonymous, I wholeheartedly agree with you that Meri keeps her emotions "in check". But I believe that emotional control is so strong that she may be subjugating her emotions and may not be consciously, completely aware of her emotions. This is what I mean by emotional dishonesty - she is not emotionally honest with herself and, therefore, cannot be emotionally honest with others.

    When I watch interviews and scenes of Sister Wives with Meri in them I watch them twice, once with the soun on and once with it off. I closely watch Meri's body language, gestures, facial expressions and listen to her vocal tone and speech "tics". She frequently employs gestures typically associated with anxiety (watch her hands); her facial expressions when viewed without sound would typically be considered "sad"; and her vocal tone is consistent with sadness, discomfort, anxiety - even when her words are saying something positive.

    To me, it is easy to see that Meri is unhappy about more than the "motherhood issue", one only need look. I am just not sure that Meri consciously realizes this or, if she does realize it, that she can admit it to anyone else.

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  11. I am of the opinion that if you feel jealous in a polygamist family... then it is not the family for you. I don't feel jealous in my monygamous family.... if I did it would be a sign that our marriage is in trouble. I would either take the steps to correct it or I would leave. I would not stay in a situation where I would have to jut put up with being unhappy.

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  12. Just dropped by to say it's great reading all the interesting and thought-provoking conversations going on!

    I'll be back to add my 2 cents later tonite, so please, continue the conversations in the meantime!

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  13. Cynical Jinx, for some really strange reason I keep reading your name as Cervical Jinx. Can't understand why, but it's strange.

    To "Non Traditional", it sounds to me like you have displaced anger, which isn't very healthy. If I were you, I'd look up the meaning of the word "cognitive dissonance". It seems to apply in your situation and may explain why you get angry such that you do. The 'Belief Disconfirmation' may apply to you.

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  14. "You can't compare because it is death...." How awful! This "lifestyle" leads to death of the soul unless you learn to ignore your emotions!

    When are we going to start making our men take responsibility for their relationships? An opiniion piece by a male writer at CNN stated that men aren't working, going to church, or entering into monogamous marriages. Sounds like Kody, huh??? I am lucky... I have a wonderful husband who is my lover and best friend and I never have to worry about him cheating. I truly pity you, Ms. "non-traditional". There are still many men out there who are good and kind, but we, as women, need to do something about the rest. And the first thing is to oppose the legalization (aka decriminalization) of polygamy. What many women don't realize is that if it were decriminalized there would be many men who would acquire additional wives without the permission of their first wife. And they would expect the first wife to support the second wife or wives. That is what happens in polygamous societies where it is legal. The laws against polygamy act as a deterrent and don't need to be enforced to significantly reduce the number of polygamous marriages.

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  15. Female Attorney...
    What is there to pity about non traditional? We have a stable and good relationship. there is no cheating or lying. And *newsflash* i work two jobs to make sure both my households needs are met. There is much more to a solid and stable relationship and you as an attorney should know that.
    also bear in mind I am not asking for this to be legalized

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  16. Lots to respond to this evening,

    Terrasola,

    I am going to try that. Perhaps I am not paying enough attention to Meri’s body language. In my profession I often have to pay attention to not just what is being said, but how it is said. Thus in the evening at home watching television I often turn that part off. So, I will watch more closely and get back to you on that.

    Positive parent,

    I have never been jealous of M’s relationship with C. And for some any form of jealousy in any relationship is a sign of a relationship in trouble. However, I disagree.

    For example, siblings as children (and sometimes as adults), have moments of jealousy. This does not mean the sibling relationship is in trouble and needs fixed. Nor does it mean the parents have done a poor job. It is a feeling.

    Same can be said about some adults in their lives. Such as the employees, who are also friends and are both hoping for the promotion and only one got it, the one who did not may very well feel jealousy. Again it does not mean the co-worker relationship or friendship is in trouble.

    Sadly, jealousy is a real part of life, it is how we handle it that I feel is important.

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  17. To Anonymous,

    While I work in the legal field, I was a dual major so also have an educational background in psychology.

    Before I get into that area, I will say this. I understand some people have moral and ethical issues with my choice of husbands, our choices and belief that this is what works for us. As such, one must seek a reason for why we would do such a thing, and are not satisfied until a “problem” is found that will explain why anyone would do something such as decide polygamy is right for them. However, this reasoning is a new one for me, but I will address it just the same.

    I was giving one example of a time I got upset. I do not “often” have moments of anger I cannot explain. In fact I do not have many moments of anger at all. I have a strong belief that anger is a wasted emotion and to allow something to reach the stage of anger takes too much out of a person. This does not mean I do not get upset, it means I choose to deal with possible problems in all areas of my life before they reach the stage of anger.

    In that incident, I knew I was upset, just was unsure of the cause, thus I could not take steps to address with M or myself the problem until I sorted out what that problem was.

    I would also challenge anyone in a mainstream marriage to say they have never been upset or even angry with their spouse. I would have to call them a liar. Every marriage has disagreements, because no two people agree on every single thing, every single second of their lives.

    Furthermore in marriages one person can say or do something meaning no harm and the other person can interpret it differently and get upset or hurt.

    It is how these issues are handled in any marriage that determines if the marriage is built on love, trust and mutual respect. It happens in EVERY marriage, even non polygamist ones.

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  18. continued from past post to Anon

    I assure you I do not suffer from any form of cognitive dissonance. I do not hold conflicting beliefs in any area of my life. I believe this is what works for us, and we are hurting no one. I further believe it is each person’s right to find what works for them and fits within their belief system. To be honest prior to meeting my husband, I had never given much thought to polygamy. I was not for or against it. I have always believed, people should live their lives in a way that is healthy for them as long as that choice does not cause harm to others. Thus, in my view those who are consenting adults who enter into a polygamist lifestyle by choice, was not something I was ever opposed to. I had simply never been exposed to it.

    In order to suffer from cognitive dissonance I would have to be experiencing a level of stress due to engaging in a behavior or action that is contradictory to my belief system or my own self image. IE, feeling guilty for doing something I believe to be bad. I would also need to be changing my behavior or belief to rationalize my actions, or make excuses for such to justify them. None of which I am doing. I could not change my belief about polygamy because I had never really formed one to change or alter. The closest I would have to say is my belief in people’s right to live lives that work for them and are not harmful to others. Thus, I was never opposed to polygamy.

    As for the Belief Disconfirmation, again I was never faced with having to change my belief system to fit my life, because I did not view polygamy as a negative if the parties were consenting adults who chose of their own free will to live a polygamist lifestyle. I am also not seeking others who share my belief in polygamy or searching for others to tell me I am right. This is not for everyone, but it is for us.

    And I understand and accept, many disagree with my choice as it goes against their beliefs. In fact, I hear more negative than positive, which I accept. I am also not seeking to make the world accept my choice as the only right choice for society. I am merely giving another few into the polygamist lifestyle that is not religion based.

    M has never lied to me nor me to him, so there is nothing stating one of us is going to be informed of something that is going to change our belief or our marriage.

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  19. To Female Attorney,

    I will have to disagree with much of your viewpoint. I assure you my marriage is not killing my soul and I am not ignoring my emotions.

    For a lot of years I did. I spent over fifteen years in an abuse relationship, to the point I could turn off emotionally at any point. I could even turn off my response to physical pain. I did not believe I could give my opinion or disagree, and therefore kept everything bottled up inside.

    My marriage is built on love, trust and mutual respect. M has always told me he wants me to only be myself, to not hide my feelings or thoughts. And even when I disagree with his point of view, he does not tell me I am wrong, nor berate me. We often discuss the conflicting views and have some great debates on numerous topics. Such as the death penalty I oppose it, and he does not. It does not mean we love each other less.

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  20. WoW! Great Conversations here.
    Let's respect everyone's opinions.
    Non-Traditional Polygamist Family -
    great to see a different lifestyle on here.
    Not sure I have much to add, too busy reading!

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  21. 'For example, siblings as children (and sometimes as adults), have moments of jealousy. This does not mean the sibling relationship is in trouble and needs fixed. Nor does it mean the parents have done a poor job. It is a feeling.

    Same can be said about some adults in their lives. Such as the employees, who are also friends and are both hoping for the promotion and only one got it, the one who did not may very well feel jealousy. Again it does not mean the co-worker relationship or friendship is in trouble. '


    Non-traditional.... the forms of jealousy you use here are not the same as jealousy in a marriage. With your stated psych background, you already know that. Siblings do not have sex or create children with each other (at least normal ones don't), they do not commit to each other the way spouses do. Sibling rivalry is not marital jealousy.
    Co-worker issues, specifically envy, are not the same as marital jealousy either Co-workers do not commit to supporting each other, till death do us part. They are both there to earn a living, the best that they can, and promotions of others, especially unearned ones, interfere with that goal. Anf, friends, while supportive, are not the same as a spouse. Friends don't commit to not having other friends.

    I'll try to explain my point better. Jealousy between marital partners indicates that one distrusts the other to remain faithful and committed to this partnership until death. I'm not talking about the occasional twinge when your spouse fixes the tire of the attractive neighbor, but comes straight home. I'm talking about the fear that your spouse is not happy with you and needs nore than you can give him. It is obvious YOUR partner needs more than you can give him, because he already has aquired another partner... And, I would not stay in a relationship like that.

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  22. Positive,
    Non Traditional was just showing other examples where jealously might be a common issue and not comparing the different kinds as one. I believe L has addressed these points rather well. Please go down a post or so and read the response to the other anonymous (and yess Ill make an account soon)where she also lists other issues that can and often do affect marriages both mainstream and not. I encourage both L and C to tell me openly if there is any issue of any kind from having a leaking water pump (yesterday) to having to help a family member in need (yesterday) to any other isue such as stress, jealously or anything. There is no need for me to exert any "control" as we have always been able to work any issues out in a healthy manner. isn't this what most look for in any marriage?
    M

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  23. This is promiscuity. Of course this is the outcome.

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  24. I can understand that after a abusive relationship, a good one, with just one other wife, might be appealing. As long as there are no crazy religions or children involved, I say let live. It's when there are going to be children, and Joseph Smith involved, I get upset.


    Such good reading on here!
    So much to learn.

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  25. positiveparent
    As M pointed out I was giving examples of jealousy. There are indeed mean different types of jealousy.

    I used the friends’ analogy because while not a sexually intimate relationship, friendship is a commitment. When friendships go wrong it can hurt immensely. Friendships are built on trust and mutual respect.

    In addition, I must point out, I have never been jealous of the relationship M and C share. I seldom even have pangs of jealousy, but when I do it is due to being jealous of a circumstance, not of the relationship. For example, someone I know who I am close to already has tickets for a concert I want to see, and I’m jealous.

    I have never feared M, is unhappy or views me as “not enough” to fill his needs. And I do not distrust him not to come home. I believe C and I are both enough for M, as he loves us both. If one of us were to leave, he would be upset and hurt, but it would not change his love for the other or make them less than enough. Perhaps he can explain that better than I.

    Planet Kody
    Our marriage is a closed relationship, meaning there is No promiscuity. If for whatever reason the sexual end of the marriage was to suddenly end, it would not change the love and commitment we have all made to our marriage.

    Mister
    Thank you for the warm welcome. I apologize for being long winded. I cannot say that the past abusive relationship is the reason why I chose polygamy. I chose polygamy because I fell in love with M and wanted to share life with him. The past did not factor in. The abusive relationship ended ten years plus before I ever met M.

    My children are grown and we do not plan on having any children. Nor are their any crazy religious beliefs going on to drive our belief that this works for us. It is three people who made a decision to live our lives in a way that makes us all happy. So, again thank you for the welcome and the let live idea.

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  26. Mister and others, I posted on my blog my theory on genetics and human nature playing a part in polygamy. Would love feed back, and did not want to hijack your thread more.

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  27. After watching this clip, it seems that Christine's emotions are starting to wake up. Maybe after living in her own house for awhile is showing her how this polygamy lifestyle is not all that it is cracked up to be. If someone has to push emotions down for the benefit of a lifestyle, that is not living, that is going through the motions of living.

    Looking forward to the episode tonight. (Of course, by the end, everything will probably be back to hunky dorky. lol)

    By the way, I sure am enjoying reading everyone's comments, you gals rock! :)

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  28. That's a very good way of putting it-her emotions are waking up.
    Don't you think she thought she'd be the last, and that's what got her?

    I have to remember that Janelle was 7 months pregnant when Christine married Kody- then I don't feel quite as sorry for her.

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  29. I just watched this episode but do not want to say too much to ensure everyone else has had a chance to watch.

    I am not so sure it is Christine's emotions waking up or as she put it "Not feeling special anymore."

    The special feeling may be Kody's doing, her own feelings, the change in living arrangments or an array of different reasons.

    It will be interesting to see how she works it out. I do not think she will ever reach a point of thinking polygamy is wrong for her. She is fiercly devoted to her faith to the point of wondering if she has failed as a parent if her children do not choose the same lifestyle.

    I do agree Mister that a part of it is due to her belief she was to be the last wife. So, it will be interesting to see how it plays out for them.

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  30. As I posted on the 4 lives thread.... This episode showed them having a 4 day cycle, and then repeating the first day of the next cycle.
    Day 1 - Christine - family gathering
    Dayt 5 - Christine - family gathering.
    Seems to me that she got shortchanged with her Kody time outside of the bedroom. Can't say as I blame her for feeling shortchanged.

    But, I just want to shake some sense into them when they say ' I just need to decide to be happy. I just need to accept the fact that my husband is sleeping with 3 other women'. No and No, you don't have to. You could decide that you want a spouse that wants you and only you.

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  31. Last night's episode felt so false, it seemed they talked out both sides of their collective mouths! Robyn clearly is the worst thing to hit this family, even worse than their move to Vegas! The truth shows in the kids, it really does.
    Robyn has so little class "I am going to keep my honeymoon alive forever." To say this so strongly over and over again while Christine is struggling shows the truth. Christine may not blame Robyn for her issues in her marriage, but I think she needs to rethink that stance!
    Then Robyn gives it to Meri for wanting to work at a different job than the family business?! And questioning Meri's commitment no less!! Even though it was pretended to be done jokingly, oh it was meant as it was repeated even stronger.

    Life for the Brown's will never be that same, have the same sweetness, same unity, same anything since Kody added Robyn.

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  32. Christine, do you ever wonder why Meri suggested Robyn to Kody in the first place?

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  33. I totally agree with Jmom; it seems like adding Robyn and her children to the family has made a negative impact. On the flip side, we don’t know how the addition of Janelle effected Meri and Kody’s relationship and we don’t know how the addition of Christine effected Meri, Janelle and Kody’s relationship(s).

    I still have negative feelings about Robyn. What does/has Robyn contributed to the family? She added 4 mouths to feed and no income! That alone puts stress on Kody and the working wives. Now they are adding an additional expense…a new baby! Robyn’s honeymoon phase is a joke. She sounds like one of these mothers who has a new man in her life that is not the father of her children and wants to do everything to keep that new man happy. I am not a fan of Robyn. Seems like Robyn lives in fairytale land while the other wives have a tighter grip on reality. Christine needs her husband/children’s father to step up and help raise the kids. Christine may have help from the other wives but it’s obvious Christine wants Kody to help her with the kids.

    I don’t feel like Meri, Janelle, and Christine are happy. They have a taste of living separate and Meri loves it! I believe Christine also mentioned that she likes living in her own home. Janelle and Christine want their husband/children’s father in the home to help raise 6 children. Meri seems to like her independence and time away from Kody. Meri’s house is probably the place he enjoys most because he doesn’t have to deal with small children running around and a wife nagging him to do stuff. Meri’s is the quiet relaxing place.

    I wish Meri, Janelle and Christine would walk away from this nonsense but I’m sure they wont! And I bet self esteem has a lot to do with it. They can’t blame it all on their faith. I wonder how many polygamist wives stay in the marriages. The only wife that is entitled to anything is the first/legal wife.

    Geez, can you imagine the amount of forms Kody had to complete to add 13 children to his health and dental insurance? Robyn’s 3 children could not be covered as step children because they are not legally married. I guess Janelle could have covered her children since she did have a job. Since no one is working in Las Vegas who is footing the bill for Robyn’s pregnancy? If Kody has life insurance I guess he has 4 beneficiaries! If he becomes disable or dies, Meri and the children would be entitled to social security benefits but not the other 3 wives, right? I really don’t understand how you function as a polygamist family.

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  34. Did you see the irritation on Janelle's face when Robyn mentioned keeping her relationship at a "honeymoon status"? And when Robyn announced her pregnancy, Jennel just stood there with a grim look on her face. And, Meri,coaching Kody to bring Robyn into the family because Christine was at the time the favorite wife and she couldn't stand it anymore. And as for Kody, I would describe him as a sadistic man living this life using religion as his shield.

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  35. I know! I saw that! Janelle thinks Robyn is a twit. heheheheheh

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  36. I was too tired to post as the episode was airing this week but thought of a million funny things I wanted to say, many of which have been added here. But yes the whole "hunnymoon status" was such a dumb*$&^ twitty thing to say and I could literally feel the heat from ALL 3 of the other wives!! about this comment. I thought Christine might literally backhand her (oh please TLC do it do it before they go off the air)! One of the other things I noticed (and it may be mentioned in the other blog about traveling Cody) was the time frame spent at Robyns vs. the other wives. How'd you like how he arrived at Christines in the dark and then was outta there like a flash the next am so he could get to Robyns IN THE AM and see the kids off to school and spend all that day THEN well into the next day with Robyn doing fun stuff. Really? Seriously? This relationship is like the "mistress" in the extramarital affair that Non-poly spouses go thru. Even the simple things are fun when you are doing it with the mistress. Life sucks at home in the real world with the Wife/Husband/Kids (ie Meri, Janelle, and Christine). Just some thoughts....

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  37. grady

    don't forget that Christines evenings were also the family nights.... so he limited his time with Christine AND their 6 children (over 1/3 of his children) to just enough time for bedtime.

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  38. Again, they can thank Meri for suggesting Robyn to Kody...why on earth would she recommend a fourth wife to him when they were having a rough time making it as it was?
    There is a reason and I know what it is and it's not her religion. My concern is for all these children.

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  39. Why is Meri mad at Christine? I think Meri doesn't like her much and they do not have a close relationship, am I wrong? Robyn is a idiot!! Why are they having more children when they are struggling? Did anyone here Kody say that "Robyn has her plate or hands full" why he was helping her, what about the other wives, teenagers are a whole different ball game, yet Robyn comes across as needy and Kody jumps all over it. DOOFUS award:)

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  40. Anonymous said.."There is a reason and I know what it is and it's not her religion.'

    What was the reason then? If you know?

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  41. What is the reason? I would like to know as well. Meri loves Robyn, but acts all butt hurt about Christine saying it looks like Kody has aged 10 years? How about being upset at herself for recommending a fourth wife, because if the show is booted and they don't have a whole heck of a lot of income coming in they are going to be out on the street... all 21 one of them

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  42. Here is the reason....(and you really have to go back to the beginning season) Before Robyn came into the picture, Kody with 12children between Janelle and Christine was spending or at least focusing the majority of his attention on them, in other words, Janelle & Christine were basically happy at the time. But, Meri wasn't. Bringing Robyn in has made Janelle & Christine now feel what Meri had been feeling and if you notice, Meri is now happier.

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  43. I do have to agree to an extent, Meri seemed so unhappy the first season, and things were said about her being upset when Christine or Janelle had other children, but with Robyn she was cool, which if you saw the episode where Robyn tells Meri she is expecting it's like both her and Kody are waiting for to have a melt down, but it didn't happen. Not to get out of line here but the mere thought of my husband sleeping with another every other night just makes me shudder.

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  44. you're not out of line at all..seeing your husband walk into a bedroom with another woman is not natural and it has to drum up some kind of innate human emotion whether it be insecurity or jealousy or just plain saddness. I see them trying to convince everyone (but themselves) that they work through them but I can't imagine having to deal with that.

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  45. Seeing your husband walk into a bedroom with another woman drums up innate human emotion? Maybe so. If Kody were my husband, the innate emotion would probably be relief. Maybe that's why they think separate houses are kind of nice.

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  46. Border Collie, you are spot on..out of sight, out of mind. I know my mind would keep wondering back to the visuals.

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  47. JANELLE: I understand you have willingly entered and are committed to your plural marriage, but after viewing every episode of Sister Wives, I can't help but wish you took time away for a second time-permanantly. I know the show is essentially an edited reality type one, but you are genuinely beautiful inside and out! Your intelligence, level-headedness, consideration & for the family as a whole, willingness to be a source of income, love for the children and the allotment carved out with one man (and not being a drama queen/emotionally selfish) comes through so consistently. Of course no viewer knows more than what they see with each episode, but again, you are such a beautiful lady. You possess such wonderful qualities that one would be privileged to not only have you as a mother, but a beloved relative, friend, and most of all, (I HAVE TO SAY IT), a wife married to a NON-plural family man. You are so strong and could survive with your children on your very own and have the same co-parenting allotment time for your children and their father. Even better would be to one day learn that you would be loved as a wife exclusively and have every day/night support and affection for not only you, but for your children as well. The committment to strive to become healthier can be challenging. However, one can see joy radiating from your efforts and the strength & confidence that comes with the little time you have as a busy mother/contributor to your very large family.
    Even though as an independent woman you have a number of beautiful children, I can only imagine how many men who possess the qualities you deserve would still want to share a life with you as well as your children. I may be out of line by saying all of this, but one never knows what the future holds, and and I couldn't help but consider all of this if you chose to leave or if something unfortunate happened to the husband of 4 women.
    I wish you so much happiness, Janelle. (love your name by the way!)

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