This
was written by a member of the audience at the UNLV Panel Discussion
Apr 25 that was taped for the upcoming "Sister Wives" episode. A young
adult with an open mind that just is "speaking" what they saw and
thought sent this in, and we are thankful to them for sharing with us.
Let us know what you think.
Since I
saw the previews on the Sister Wives show of the panel discussion
that took place in Las Vegas I thought I should write a post about
what I remember of it.
The
audience in the UNLV auditorium seemed to be divided about the
polygamy issues the Browns and the Ex-polygamists brought up during
the panel discussion or debate. However I have to say, from where I
was sitting and from what I was hearing, I felt the majority of
people were not in favor of any polygamy, no matter how hard the
Browns were trying to make it look like a choice. I also felt the
people who were there in favor of polygamy and the Brown family had
been set up to be there as their support system.
My
friends and I had already read most of the books on polygamy, so I
knew what the panelists and hundreds of thousands of polygamists
across the U.S. have suffered through. I’d also watched most of the
Sister Wives segments, and felt their reason to live polygamy was
because of their LDS and fundamental LDS religious doctrine that says
living polygamy is required on this earth to get to Heaven and not be
damned to hell. This said, it was obvious the Brown’s whole agenda
was to convince the audience they did have a choice to live that
life-style, and it was their right to live polygamy without prejudice
and government interferences.
I could
tell the family had read Kristyn’s book "Fifty Years in Polygamy –
Big Secrets and Little White Lies" before they came onto the show.
That being their main form of rebuttal that polygamy is good. Robyn
talked directly to Kristyn, saying she felt sorry that she’d had
such horrible things happen to her in her family and all around her,
but all she and her mother’s family experiences in polygamy were
happy.
Christine
said she had a wonderful childhood, being raised by her wealthy
father- having their needs met, and from both her mothers who doted
on them. She said she had perfect parents, who never fought and were
exemplary polygamists. She claimed she never knew anything but
happiness in her father’s plural family. But all of that felt
totally contradictory when she told us how devastated she was when
her mother left her father and their belief system. “If all was so
great, why did her mom leave?” I wondered.
Kody
said he didn’t doctrinally know much about his religion, he mostly
lived it because he believed it to be a true principal from the
teachings of his Mormon prophet Joseph Smith, and from other church
leaders who followed his commands. He felt he had a right to live the
way he wanted and that those who criticized his way of life were
those who had misconceptions about polygamy and their choice to live
it, because of evil men like Warren Jeffs and a “few” others who
did vile and evil things.
Meri
also addressed her desire to live polygamy, saying thought it was
sometimes tough, she wanted to live that way because that’s what
she believed in, and therefore it and it was her religious right to
“choose” to do so. She liked having sisters and close family.
Janelle
said she was raised in the LDS church, and was a convert to the
belief after a divorce, and said she wouldn’t do it any other way.
Then it
was the ex-polygamist’s turn to speak.
Willy Steed , from the FLDS community grabbed my heart when he emotionally
talked about hating his life in polygamy, being beat by his father,
watching siblings get beat and yelled at, being taken from school at
age 8 to work for money to contribute to Warren Jeffs, of watching
young boys get hurt and killed on jobs that were completely un-safe
for them.
Kollene
Snow, from the Kingston Clan or the Order, brought me to tears when
she cried her eyes out, while trying to tell how hard it was being
raised in polygamy with too many kids, extreme poverty, while the
leaders wore suits, ate gourmet meals, traveled and had the best
homes with their first wives. She said her father was completely
absent in her life unless he came home to impregnate her mother and
abuse the kids. She grew up being told he was her uncle. She finally
ran from his abusive, violent behaviors and then, believing she had
to for survival sake, complied with an arranged married in order to
get away from being locked up in her aunt’s home. During this time,
Meri handed Kollene a few tissues and put her arm over her shoulder,
exhibiting empathy for Kollene’s life of horrors and proof that the
Brown family and most polygamists are exempt from these repulsive
behaviors.
Kristyn
Decker had only a few minutes to talk. I know she left the Apostolic
United Brethren or Allred group nearly 11 years ago, but she was
asked not to use that description on the show, so she said she “left
another polygamous group.” Since the others ex-polygamists were
specific about the groups they left, I wondered why she didn’t say
so. She talked of her father being the leader of that group, of her
sadness watching her mother’s ongoing heartaches as the first of
her father’s thirteen wives. She said she was sexually and
emotionally abused, and later in life found that her younger sisters
had also endured the same while her dad and their mother (another
wife) ignored and justified the perpetrator’s behavior as
“childhood curiosity.” She said after living polygamy for too
many years, following in her mother’s foot-steps, it became
intolerable, especially as she realized most of her beliefs had been
based on lies and complete deceit.
Christine
Marie talked briefly about becoming a young convert and very active
member in the LDS Church. She believed in all of the doctrine and
teachings, including a prophesy that claims, in the last days the
remaining part of the Book of Mormon would be translated and restored to
the church. (This book is the main force behind the LDS Church that
Joseph Smith was supposed to have translated and never completed.)
Christine said she met a convincing man who appeared Christ-like
deceived her into believing he had translated the rest of the Book of
Mormon. She said it sounded convincing and there were other believers.
This
false prophet even got other people to help him, including the woman
she thought was her primary “sister wife,” and they put her through
hell. She ended up not only being scammed, but raped, beaten, robbed,
and psychologically tortured. He justified her anguish as her needing to
be tested like Job in order to merit eternal life and be worthy of
being with her children throughout eternity. When she could bear no more
and was ready to kill herself, one of her male exploiters revealed that
it was all fraud, none in the group were actually believers, and she
was being taken advantage of in the worst way possible. Even the main
“sister wife” that was involved in this horrific deception of Christine
Marie portrayed herself as a believer when she was actually an atheist.
This experience motivated Christine Marie to start Voices for Dignity as
an advocate for survivors of polygamy and human trafficking.
Then
the fireworks began.
Again
Robyn shared her sadness for what we’d all been through, saying she
was sorry but that’s not the norm in polygamy.
Christine
slid forward and jubilantly exclaimed, “Aunt Kristyn” how nice it
is to see you again. The audience sounded shocked, while she
continued to say how sorry she was that Aunt Kristyn had been through
so much hell in her life, that she had no idea she’d gone through
so much when her own life was so joyous and perfect. She only
remembered good times hanging out with her cousins at Aunt Kristyn’s
home, again saying she didn’t know how bad things were while in the
next statement she said she always feared the evil she heard was
going on all around her.
Kristyn
said there was a whole lot Christine hadn’t seen and was still not
seeing, and that she was happy Christine had had a good life.
Kody
barked out that he is nothing like Kristyn’s ex-husband and those
other men, so polygamy should be a choice without threat and
repercussions for those like him who wanted to live it and are not be
bad people.
Christine
Marie said she agreed, but brought out a long list of research from
Canada’s 7 month debate on whether to decriminalize polygamy or
keep it illegal. She stated a few things about the judge’s findings
stating “polygamy is inherently abusive,” before Kody got mad at
her for judging them.
She
said what she wanted to bring up was years and years of research that
supported more “harms” than not among polygamous families. Kody
got livid again saying we were trying to “paint all polygamists
with the same brush.”
Kristyn
looked at Meri and said, “In public” (she was not allowed to say
“on your Sister Wives show,”) you have said before that you would
not live plural marriage unless you believed you had to. Meri nodded
and mumbled yes.
Then
she looked at Robyn and said, “You just said you—
Robyn
leaned forward on her chair and started yelling at Kristyn, saying,
“Don’t make me out to be a victim! This is the way I want to
live! This is my choice and I’m happy living polygamy in Kody’s
family! And I wouldn’t live this way if I didn’t believe in it!
Things
seemed to escalate a bit from there before professor _ ended the
discussion/debate for Q&A, but at some point before all of that
happened, Kristyn was able to get a word in edgewise to say to Robyn.
“By the way Robyn, thank-you for making my point – you wouldn’t
live this way if you didn’t believe you have to.”
During
the Q&A – the Browns were asked to tell why they believed in
polygamy, what doctrine or belief system dictated those beliefs. All
5 of them hem and hawed refusing or not knowing what to do or to say.
Kristyn got the mike and explained the original LDS doctrine that
originated by Joseph Smith and said the fundamentalists hold tightly to the 132nd
section of the churches’ Doctrine & Covenants where Joseph
Smith states those who don’t live plural marriage will be damned.
After
the panel discussion, while waiting to talk to Kristyn, I heard
Janelle’s oldest son apologized to her for Robyn’s behavior,
saying she easily gets roweled up and when things bother her, but she
didn’t mean to be rude.
I
followed Kristyn while she went over to Christine to invite her to
dinner and gab. She said no, she had other plans. Christine Marie
also came over to where we were standing to invite Christine’s
family to do some photo shoots together. She said, “No we are on
different wave-lengths.” I was quite surprised since Kody had just
stated in public that he and his wives were transparent and not at
all prejudice.
Overall,
I felt the Ex-polygamous case as to why polygamy shouldn’t be lived
as compared to the Brown’s case as to why it is supposedly OK. was much better and well said. I
also felt the Browns were grouchy, mean and defensive toward the
others. I’m glad I was there to see it all.
Oh yes,
and one more thing. As I was leaving, I heard the Sister Wives guy,
who runs the show, say to one of his camera guys, something like;
wow, I never expected that to happen. “I sure wouldn’t do this if
it didn’t make us so much money.”
Does it appear that the Anti-Polygamist group had many rules to
follow... (don't say Allred group) but the Browns had none? Sound off!!
Notes:
Kristyn Decker's father - Prophet Owen A. Allred.
her and Christine are 2nd cousins by birth and Christine's grandmother married the Prophet which makes Kristyn her aunt by marriage.
Meri Brown's father was married to several Allred girls, Kody's grandmother was an Allred. Let's face it, it seems they are all related with the exception of Janelle.
Kollene Snow is the dtr of John Daniel Kingston
We will try to feature each of the guests later this week.
BIG thanks to Anonymous who sent this in!
__________________________________________________________________________________
The Browns are like any average American family. If every family consisted of four wives and 17 children, that is.
The Browns are polygamists living in Las Vegas, trying to paint a
modern picture of plural marriage. In an attempt to denounce the
negative stereotypes of polygamy, from sexual abuse to forced marriage,
the Browns have put their every move on camera.
The stars of TLC’s Sister Wives, a reality television show centered
around the Brown family, joined UNLV April 25 for a panel discussion. A
crowd gathered in Marjorie Barrick Museum, curious to draw the curtain
back from the life of the polygamous.
“The great thing about [polygamy] is that it was our choice,” said
patriarch Kody Brown. He held his position during the panel in the
center of his four wives — Meri, Janelle, Christine and Robyn. Each time
he spoke they looked at him in admiration.
The women were dressed in contemporary attire — high heels, black
skirts and slacks and brightly colored tops. Their hair was blown out,
their faces made-up and no bonnet in sight.
A member of the crowd stood up and asked if the women were looking to Kody Brown for permission before they spoke.
Meri Brown heatedly grabbed the microphone and said she looks at her
husband because she loves him and when she wants to speak she will. The
audience applauded.
Christine Brown’s aunt, Kollene Star, Kristen Decker and Willie Steed
sat opposite the Kody Brown family, all three from polygamous
backgrounds which they had abandoned.
“I didn’t want to share my husband,” Decker said.
Raised in a polygamous family herself, she felt she had to stay in her own marriage because of her religion.
“I was told that if I didn’t support my husband in plural marriage,
then I wouldn’t be able to see my children in heaven,” Decker said. “It
killed me when my husband left for his honeymoon with his new wife … I
was thinking suicidal [thoughts] when I heard about the details of their
honeymoon.”
Meri Brown, Kody Brown’s first wife, faced Decker and assured her that they wouldn’t be doing this if they didn’t believe in it.
To read the rest of the story, please follow the link:
Story from The Rebel Yell - Written by: Khusbu Bhakta, Photo By: Paulina Zeng May 2013
the cutting room floor. He does
realize this is the Brown's show and can respect that.
