Play Fair!
Character Counts – Part 5
Fairness: It almost seems too simple a concept to have to discuss, right? We all learned in school as kids to be equal (or equitable), impartial, consistent and employ due process. However, as adults we sometimes forget these lessons. Many of us comment on how Kody is unequal / inequitable with his time and affection among his wives. A big concern is how he spends his time as a dad with his kids. Is it equal / equitable? That would be very difficult when Mariah would receive more attention during his stay at Meri’s than would occur for Janelle’s 6 kids or Christine’s 6 kids during his stays at their homes. This is one thing that bothers me a lot because children are so important and once we harm their psyches we cannot “unring the bell”.
I had hoped to see “Big Love” style family meetings or wives planning sessions when I first tuned in to Sister Wives. Yes, I know, I’m hopelessly naive (I thought a 401K is what you get when you are almost finished writing the letter “K” 500 times). Everyone would get their turn to say their piece and have their turn at doing things their way. Ha ha. I also learned that Kody is happy go lucky only when everyone agrees with him. When there are disagreements he quickly shuts down discussions and becomes Kommissar Kody, the not-so-benevolent family dictator.
Care Bear Kody
The central reason we have manners and ethics is because of caring, the 5th pillar of ethics. Ethical people care about how their actions affect other people. Ethical people do not treat other people as tools to be used and exploited to further their own ends. Ethical people do things for the good of others that they don’t even know and they do things for the good of others when there is no benefit in it for themselves because they care about the well being of others.
I am very sorry to say that I don’t see a lot of evidence of caring, selfless actions by the Brown family on this show – or off it either.
Logan has shown himself to be a fine young man who cares for and about his siblings. I don’t know too many 15 or 16 year old boys who are up and making breakfast. To be fair, we did see the family paint Grandma Brown’s house and help on the ranch in one episode. Perhaps those kinds of things are done all the time; if so it would be nice to at least hear more references to them. I am, however, thinking more along the lines of caring touches when there were tears on the TH couch and other everyday gestures of caring; I rarely saw any type of comforting gestures when heavy emotions are present.
Logan has shown himself to be a fine young man who cares for and about his siblings. I don’t know too many 15 or 16 year old boys who are up and making breakfast. To be fair, we did see the family paint Grandma Brown’s house and help on the ranch in one episode. Perhaps those kinds of things are done all the time; if so it would be nice to at least hear more references to them. I am, however, thinking more along the lines of caring touches when there were tears on the TH couch and other everyday gestures of caring; I rarely saw any type of comforting gestures when heavy emotions are present.
Citizenship
The final ethical pillar is citizenship. We are individuals, but also belong to communities. This brings with it obligations to know and obey laws, volunteer our time (and perhaps some money) to charities and good causes, stay informed about current issues and events, and contribute to community life (recycle, conserve resources, etc.). As good citizens we give back more than we take.
I guess I don’t even have to “go there” regarding the Brown family’s record on knowing and obeying laws. Honestly, I have no idea whether they volunteer their time to charities and good causes. I know from their bankruptcy papers that they give substantial amounts of money to charity, which I assume to be “tithing”. So many things that they have said lead me to believe that they would rather be insular than mix with their community. This can be a difficult value for many people to live, but it can also be the most rewarding. Hopefully the Brown family will change a little over time.
Conclusion
We have come to the end of the pillars. I wanted to say more nice things about the Browns and am sad that I couldn’t. Hopefully, things will be different in a year or 2.
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